Break-up

[Jennifer529]

Just recently broke up with my gf for reasons unrelated to CD'ing.
However she did manage to throw in a few not so nice terms about my dressing,typical I suppose.The worst part is she took ALL my make-up and a few items of clothing that I really like!
Oh well i'm better off now and can replace "stuff".
Better to be alone than in the wrong relationship.
Thanks for letting me vent.
Jennifer

[April_Ligeia]

Sorry to hear that but I agree that I also would rather be alone than to be in a bad relationship. However, breakups are still hard. It's a shame she took your stuff, but I think that just goes along with a breakup, just like insults. Hope you are okay.

[Jennifer529]

Thanks,i'm good.Actually I feel better now,it's been not so good the last few months.
She recently "found religion" and became quite judge"mental",I have no problem with religion as such,but it says somewhere in there "judge not lest ye be judged".

[April_Ligeia]

Sounds like it just wasn't a good match, although I wouldn't expect a religious person to steal your stuff. Judge"mental" is CLASSIC. I believe there is something about stealing in there as well, I believe it's frowned upon in most religions...

[Jennifer529]

It was great at first,then not so much,part of the initial attraction for her was my cd'ing!
I wish her well and will move on and hopfully find someone that is "ok" with "it" :)

[Erica Marie]

Jennifer you are not venting to me. I was in the exact same place. Told my gf of 3 yrs ( who was my old high school gf) . After 20 yrs we got back together and things were good so I thought. One night I told her about my dressing and after a little while she said she could accept it and even bought me some clothing. Then all of a sudden things changed and the dressing was "too much to handle" I suppose it was too much because I found out she was messing around with her boss. So dont feel bad ok. I too feel that it may be easier to be alone than to have to burden a gf with my stuff.

[flatlander_48]

Thanks,i'm good.Actually I feel better now,it's been not so good the last few months.
She recently "found religion" and became quite judge"mental",I have no problem with religion as such,but it says somewhere in there "judge not lest ye be judged".

Life goes on, but at least it is better to find out sooner rather than later...

[Jennifer529]

Jennifer you are not venting to me. I was in the exact same place. Told my gf of 3 yrs ( who was my old high school gf) . After 20 yrs we got back together and things were good so I thought. One night I told her about my dressing and after a little while she said she could accept it and even bought me some clothing. Then all of a sudden things changed and the dressing was "too much to handle" I suppose it was too much because I found out she was messing around with her boss. So dont feel bad ok. I too feel that it may be easier to be alone than to have to burden a gf with my stuff.
Thanks for your support,it means a lot!

thanks so much,I really appriciate your support. :)

[Barbara Ella]

Sorry about the breakup, they can be hard, but you sound like you have a good grip on yourself and can handle it. I have a feeling that you won't be alone for very long if you hang in there. And hopefully your new stuff will be better than the old stuff.

Barbara

[KerryLynn]

She recently "found religion" and became quite judge"mental",I have no problem with religion as such,but it says somewhere in there "judge not lest ye be judged".
It makes me sad how many people forget that part.

[thewife/soon2bex]

It makes me sad how many people forget that part.

I have my faith. To be judgemental is not religion or Faith. When I found out everything I had a nice talk with my Pastor. He did not condem my husband. He actually told me that sometimes this can work. Due to things that I realized after discovering the truth my Pastor did eventually support my decision. Not all religions are like this. And their is a difference between religion and faith.

[KiwiKate]

Hey Jennifer.Sorry to hear about your break up.I hope your doing okay and have friends around you.You look nice,I'm sure the ladies will be banging down your door in no time.

[Tracii G]

I agree its best to get out of a bad relationship and be done with it and move on.
Some guys feel they have to be in a relationship to be a man.I never understood that.
I have 2 ex wives so I have experience in bad relationships.
If you get a new girl live separately is my advice.

[Pythos]

Your situation sounds rather familiar sadly. One of the traits of myself that my ex loved was that I in her eyes was "the best of both worlds" She was attracted to my fem androgynous self. It felt great to have that.

But over time, it is like she grew to dislike my male side. She even hit me with the line "If I am going to date a man, he should look like a man" Which is 180 degrees from her initial stance. What is more funny is she knows first hand how it feels for someone to have such views as she was raised as a boy despite the fact she is intersexed. So in my mind it is a big "how dare she of all people to pull that sexist bloody none sense"

Well anyway, I am sorry you had to deal with your GF pulling that sort of thing, and the stealing of your stuff is just foul of her, especially if she has "found Jesus"

[DeeArel]

Remember, when they earn the title of "ex," they get to keep it. No coming back.

[Kathy4ever]

So she found religion and then goes and steels your stuff. Go figure. I believe in the bible but some of these fanatics sin for 6 days and then go to church think they are religeos. They are hypocrits.Sorry for your breakup but don't know the whole story but seems you are better off.

[thewife/soon2bex]

Remember, when they earn the title of "ex," they get to keep it. No coming back.

Depending on the situation.. some of us can say Thank GOD!

[thewife/soon2bex]

So she found religion and then goes and steels your stuff. Go figure. I believe in the bible but some of these fanatics sin for 6 days and then go to church think they are religeos. They are hypocrits.Sorry for your breakup but don't know the whole story but seems you are better off.

There is a difference between Religion and Faith. Someone who "finds" religion does not understand faith. I know for me, my Pastor actually tried working with me to work on the marriage. The things learned after discovering the truth was beyond what is acceptable. Do not judge all faiths based on the experience of a few. I have been to many churches that have accepted couples in a cd relationship/marriage. I belong to a faith were many of the couples actually practice. I was not married to a man of faith. I was married to a man that when I asked him after finding everything hoping that we could receive council through someone I trusted. He went to church one time. After that, it was excuses after excuses of why he could not go.

[Beverley Sims]

It usually happens that a breakup has connections to CD'ing but as you can see in the replies there are underlying causes.
Religion, another partner and other interests are prime reasons.
CD'ing is mostly secondary but used as a prime excuse.
Who wants to admit infidelity anyway.
Blame it on the Boss a Nova.
Blame it on the CD.

[Ceri Anne]

Sorry to hear that happened Jennifer. It's always hard regardless of the cause. You were right, you can replace stuff, and if she wasn't the right girl, then your now free to find her. When people go thru difficult times, it is common to bring up everything that has caused a problem or discomfort. You have to let that bounce off and move on, and it sounds like your doing so. Huggs.

[Tibby]

It usually happens that a breakup has connections to CD'ing but as you can see in the replies there are underlying causes.
Religion, another partner and other interests are prime reasons.
CD'ing is mostly secondary but used as a prime excuse.
Who wants to admit infidelity anyway.
Blame it on the Boss a Nova.
Blame it on the CD.

I don't believe that CDing is ever the actual cause of a break up, it may be stated as the primary cause but as you has said, it's always easier to blame it on the Cding than other factors.

The times where CDing has been stated as the primary cause I actually think it is a person's own insecurities to accepting something out of their own comfort zone and not the CDing itself. I would say that there would need to be other factors which led to a break up and the CDing, or insecurities surrounding Cding were the final straw. There are a large number of marriages who have stood the test but follow a DADT stance on CDing but because the marriage as a whole is good, the couple remain together.

Jennifer I am sorry to hear about your break up but please don't take any negative comments she made to heart, generally people will say something as a parting shot and pick the one thing which they know will cut the deepest. That happens in a lot of break ups, as does the taking of ones possessions. You can always buy new make up and clothes but you can't buy self esteem, don't let it get you down. Onwards and upwards.

[Rocker Chick]

It was great at first,then not so much,part of the initial attraction for her was my cd'ing!
I wish her well and will move on and hopfully find someone that is "ok" with "it" :)

Isn't it funny how they always find a way to turn a positive into a negative?

[CassandraSmith]

Thanks,i'm good.Actually I feel better now,it's been not so good the last few months.
She recently "found religion" and became quite judge"mental",I have no problem with religion as such,but it says somewhere in there "judge not lest ye be judged".

That's so sad. Just to make it clear, there are no prohibitions in the bible regarding wearing feminine attire. Also, that passage you just quoted means "don't assume to know who's going to heaven and who isn't." It does not mean, never size someone up or ignore your intuition and discernment regarding people or situations.

I hope she comes around. There's a lot of Christians on here. If she'd ever like to talk to one, I'm open to it. I have lots of experience with this stuff and even have a ministry on a worship team.


Cassy

[Rocker Chick]

That's so sad. Just to make it clear, there are no prohibitions in the bible regarding wearing feminine attire. Also, that passage you just quoted means "don't assume to know who's going to heaven and who isn't." It does not mean, never size someone up or ignore your intuition and discernment regarding people or situations.

I hope she comes around. There's a lot of Christians on here. If she'd ever like to talk to one, I'm open to it. I have lots of experience with this stuff and even have a ministry on a worship team.


Cassy
Actually there is a passage in the Old Testament that says for men to not wear women's clothing. But what is women's clothing now? Is it women's clothing if you bought it in the women's department? History has shown men wearing makeup, high heels, tights, wigs, hosiery, etc. The longer time marches on the more blurry it gets.

[Lorileah]

Careful kids let's not get off on religious discussions here

[sonna]

you know the old saying one door closes another one opens

[darla_g]

all I know is that when relationships are ending frequently mean and hurtful things can be said. Sometimes you find out later on that they were not meant, but it is not easy to take back.

[CassandraSmith]

Actually there is a passage in the Old Testament that says for men to not wear women's clothing. But what is women's clothing now? Is it women's clothing if you bought it in the women's department? History has shown men wearing makeup, high heels, tights, wigs, hosiery, etc. The longer time marches on the more blurry it gets.

Refer to this post (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?188893-OK-It-s-Time-To-Talk-About-That-One-Passage-In-The-Bible...) I made last month for a discussion of this. Your information is partially correct.

[Stephanie47]

According to my two years of religious training prior to my confirmation in the eight grade, all it takes is ONE sin, no matter how small or big, to get you to hell, except for the salvation offered by Jesus Christ. I always ask, "And, what's your sin????" It shuts them up. I cannot say too much more less the moderation police delete me.

Hang in there Jennifer.

[Lorileah]

Really kids, one more religious diatribe and I close the thread. If you wish to argue religion there is a forum for that.

[Ressie]

Yes I'm much happier living alone for the last few years. Sure I get lonely sometimes but it's better than fighting all the time.