anastasiafantasia
02-05-2013, 12:42 AM
Hi girls,
I can't sleep and was thinking and was just wondering if anyone had had any eating disorders (clinically diagnosed and treated or otherwise) in their past, maybe during their formative years or later on, or maybe ongoing?
I ask because until a few years ago i had what i'm not totally sure i would classify as an eating disorder.I know i wasn't bullimic and luckily i didn't feel compelled to or could not totally starve myself like anorexics do.However, i would regularly everyday try to aim to eat as few calories as i could (usually 1000-200 depending ont he day i guess) over an extended period of time (5-6 years) with no specific weight loss goal in mind.
I was always skinny as a kid due to depression and stress from school and naturally developed bad eating habits skipping meals and then started doing it conciously since i realised i needed to stay skinny (basically for me because i am gay and alot of young guys, gay or otherwise, place most importance on looks and size).
I got to know a few anorexics during those years, although was never as"bad", and realised that a fair percentage of males (straight and gay) suffer with eating disorders nowadays.I'm not sure if it has always been the case or was just never taken notice of in the past.Everybody thought males don't care about their weight.
The last couple of years i have given up on dieting and felt alot better.Even in the sometimes rather superficial gay world and scene i realised i didn't want to feel that my entire worth felt tied to staying slim and/or having a 6pack.I relaxed emotionally and psychologically and didn't weight myself until the other day.I have a slight "beer belly" now and have a BMI of 25. something at 184lbs and 6 foot.
Since i have started thinking of CDing again and past the just lingerie stage i have thought about how i will look in tight fitting, feminine tops and skirts and dresses.Men can hide so well in baggy shirts etc :heehee:.And have decided i want to lose some weight again.I am a bit worried because i am exercising but obsessively kindof already (1 hour's heavy cardio a day) and trying to restrict as much as possible so 1000 cals or less a day.I realise this is bad for metabolism and unhealthy and i'm already starting to feel moody and much worse about my self image comparing myself with men and women 10 years younger than me (20) who are still naturally slim more easily.Grr probably a rather obvious sign to the answer to my question!
I'm just wondering if anyone else has battled body images and self esteem issues regarding that before they started CDing; because i have read that CDing is a healthy impetus for quite a few folks on here to take a healthy step to lose a few extra pounds and adopt a healthier lifestyle.
I never sought help for my problem with doctors because i was never that dangerously skinny and you have to literally be on death's doorstep here in the UK to receive that kindof help for eating disorders.However, i guess i'm just thinking outloud and asking if anyone has any advice as to whether i should try set a goal and then stop if i achieve it or just not bother?
I'm a littlle overweight but not by much.I was thinking maybe 175 pounds for a BMI of 23.5 or something i think it was.
Thanks for listening,
Ana
I can't sleep and was thinking and was just wondering if anyone had had any eating disorders (clinically diagnosed and treated or otherwise) in their past, maybe during their formative years or later on, or maybe ongoing?
I ask because until a few years ago i had what i'm not totally sure i would classify as an eating disorder.I know i wasn't bullimic and luckily i didn't feel compelled to or could not totally starve myself like anorexics do.However, i would regularly everyday try to aim to eat as few calories as i could (usually 1000-200 depending ont he day i guess) over an extended period of time (5-6 years) with no specific weight loss goal in mind.
I was always skinny as a kid due to depression and stress from school and naturally developed bad eating habits skipping meals and then started doing it conciously since i realised i needed to stay skinny (basically for me because i am gay and alot of young guys, gay or otherwise, place most importance on looks and size).
I got to know a few anorexics during those years, although was never as"bad", and realised that a fair percentage of males (straight and gay) suffer with eating disorders nowadays.I'm not sure if it has always been the case or was just never taken notice of in the past.Everybody thought males don't care about their weight.
The last couple of years i have given up on dieting and felt alot better.Even in the sometimes rather superficial gay world and scene i realised i didn't want to feel that my entire worth felt tied to staying slim and/or having a 6pack.I relaxed emotionally and psychologically and didn't weight myself until the other day.I have a slight "beer belly" now and have a BMI of 25. something at 184lbs and 6 foot.
Since i have started thinking of CDing again and past the just lingerie stage i have thought about how i will look in tight fitting, feminine tops and skirts and dresses.Men can hide so well in baggy shirts etc :heehee:.And have decided i want to lose some weight again.I am a bit worried because i am exercising but obsessively kindof already (1 hour's heavy cardio a day) and trying to restrict as much as possible so 1000 cals or less a day.I realise this is bad for metabolism and unhealthy and i'm already starting to feel moody and much worse about my self image comparing myself with men and women 10 years younger than me (20) who are still naturally slim more easily.Grr probably a rather obvious sign to the answer to my question!
I'm just wondering if anyone else has battled body images and self esteem issues regarding that before they started CDing; because i have read that CDing is a healthy impetus for quite a few folks on here to take a healthy step to lose a few extra pounds and adopt a healthier lifestyle.
I never sought help for my problem with doctors because i was never that dangerously skinny and you have to literally be on death's doorstep here in the UK to receive that kindof help for eating disorders.However, i guess i'm just thinking outloud and asking if anyone has any advice as to whether i should try set a goal and then stop if i achieve it or just not bother?
I'm a littlle overweight but not by much.I was thinking maybe 175 pounds for a BMI of 23.5 or something i think it was.
Thanks for listening,
Ana