Did crossdressing effect the way you dated growing up?

[KatieGG]

So back in high school my husband had a reputation for being a "love em and leave em" kind of guy. I knew a few girls he had been with and when we started dating they all told me he slept with them and then never really talked to them again and they told me that is what would happen to me. Well clearly they got that wrong. lol

But anyway he told me that he did that because he didn't want to get close to him because he liked to wear panties. In his mind it was easier to do that than get close to a girl and try to keep it hidden. So did anyone else think this way or was it more keep it hidden and hope for the best?

[darla_g]

interesting topic! I did CD early in my teen years, but was not dating back then. I had stopped for a long time so it never became a concern during my dating years.

[Jenn868]

I acted the same type of way katie. I def. felt this way growing up dating and leaving women bc i too was scared about letting the women know about dressing up n feeling feminine and liking to crossdress.

[ReineD]

If it means anything, I've read many posts in this forum over the years by crossdressers who said they did the same thing. IMO, they were making a subconscious choice that the crossdressing was more important to them than any relationship with a GG ... which makes sense, when you think about it. It's not a pastime or a hobby and they'd rather be alone than risk finding someone who will not accept.

My SO told me at the very beginning of our romantic relationship, right after our first kiss. I've often wondered if s/he would have lost interest in me, had I not been supportive.

... come to think of it, she did set it up like that. She told me in an email and she said, "If this is not your thing, I'll understand and I hope we can still be friends." :p

[jenni_xx]

High school for me was a difficult and confusing time. I had a few girlfriends (all short term, as they are at that age anyway, at least they were when I was growing up in the 80s), yet there were a lot of rumours about me being gay. I hated that, because at the time I genuinely didn't think I was. It was also quite brutal, in that it was a time when AIDS really first came into public knowledge, so I would often go in to a classroom and there would be an AIDS leaflet on my desk, with a group of giggling school kids sat in the classroom when I sat down at my desk and saw the leaflet. It was all a joke to them then. Kids eh?

Anway, I did date girls, but I would never regard myself as a love em and leave me guy. At the time, my crossdressing (which I first experienced when I was 5/6 years old (my sister and two cousins (both female) used to dress me up (I pretended that I didn't like it, but I did))) wasn't really a factor in how I acted whenever I dated a girl. It was my secret, or rather at least I regarded it as my secret, and never fully embraced it until I was around 14/15 years old. So it certainly wouldn't have been a reason not to allow girls to get close to me.

So to answer your question (not let girls get close or just keep it hidden and hope for the best), neither really entered my thought process at that time. Actually, at the time, whenever I did have a girlfriend, my crossdressing would subside to the point that I simply wouldn't engage in it.

[Lorileah]

I could not buy a date. So it wasn't an issue. Now though....it definitely does affect my dating, for the better

[KatieGG]

Yeah that makes sense Reine esp for a high schooler because like Jenni pointed out kids can be mean. After we had been dating for a little while I was scared he was only with me because I was supportive and maybe he would just settle for me because it was easy.

[Stephanie47]

As a teen in the 1960's dating was awkward for most guys, especially when you got older and did not have a car. Girls seemed to date cars more than guys. No wheels, no girls. Anyway, I digressed. I think the majority of cross dressers in their teens in the 1950's and 1960's had real self doubts or confusion about their sexuality. How the hell could a hot blooded guy trying to score like wearing a dress? It did not compute. And, for those of us who were so inclined to wear women's clothing, you were not a cross dresser! You were (moderator: This is used in the historical context of the period) a "faggot." The term gay had not yet been co-opted by the homosexual community. A very confusing time back then.

[Darla]

I just didn't date! Too confused and wallowing in pubescent hormones and basically miserable. I loved girls, but I can understand how they wouldn't like me. Desperately shy, but I placed girls so high on a pedestal I couldn't reach them. Tat changed later of course when you realized that girls are the coolest thing in the world. So much so that it reaffirms your wanting to be one.

Darla

[jenni_xx]

You were (moderator: This is used in the historical context of the period) a "faggot." The term gay had not yet been co-opted by the homosexual community. A very confusing time back then.

The word used is immaterial. The meaning behind the word is what gives it it's power. I do think that it is more socially acceptable to be gay today, but that doesn't automatically mean that it is easier for an individual to come to terms with themselves. Acceptance of others will always be external. The crux, the one true thing that really matters in regards to our own ultimate happiness, is acceptance of ourselves.

[KatieGG]

I just didn't date! Too confused and wallowing in pubescent hormones and basically miserable. I loved girls, but I can understand how they wouldn't like me. Desperately shy, but I placed girls so high on a pedestal I couldn't reach them. Tat changed later of course when you realized that girls are the coolest thing in the world. So much so that it reaffirms your wanting to be one.

Darla


Do you think being a cross dresser was the reason you were shy?

[SandraInHose]

I don't think it directly affected the way I dated, but being a pantyhose fiend I would rarely look at a girl who didn't wear dresses, skirts, and hose. Call me superficial if you want, but that's just the way it was. Of course, back then (late 70's), a large percentage of the girls did wear them quite regularly. Same thing when I was a single man through the first half of the 80's...although I did date a lot during that period, I also 'expanded my horizons' and dated women who didn't wear dresses much. But I ended up marrying a woman who dressed the way I always wanted to. She still jokes to this day that I married her for her wardrobe! (Not true at all...in fact, I thought that would cure me!)

[Jenniferathome]

Nope, not in the slightest. Frankly, I never thought so far ahead with my girlfriends. Getting into the sack was a real rarity back then.

[Brenda456]

Maybe this is why I liked sports in high school. We had to wear an athletic supporter which I viewed as just thong for guys. Other then that in high school I was terrified of being discovered. Friends and siblings would have shown me no mercy.

[Vickie_CDTV]

It wasn't crossdressing per se, but being a "soft" guy (sensitive, didn't play sports, was shy, quiet etc.) took me completely out of the dating game in high school, even though I so badly wanted a girlfriend.

When I was in my early 20s, being a "soft" man combined with the crossdressing made it very difficult to find someone to date (it was impossible to find someone my own age.)

[sandra-leigh]

I did not date at all when I was in high-school (or younger). I didn't get interested until the end of my first year of university -- including not during two terms in residence. One of my therapists used the term "late bloomer", and said that she had been the same way.

I was, though, disappointed in high school that none of the girls had "noticed" me, not even just to sit down and talk: the feeling of being ignored in plain sight has never really gone away.

My lack of interest in dating had nothing to do with my high-school cross-dressing, or at least nothing conscious. Circumstances at home led to my sister and myself having a lot of responsibilities at a young age, and we took that seriously. I remember thinking to myself that "I am at school to learn, not to waste time trying to form relationships too early in life to be able to handle emotionally or responsibly." I saw classmates having trouble in school and in their lives, involving relationships that they mostly seemed too young to handle.

That said, if I had ended up friends with a girl my age for a period of time, things might have turned out differently. I do think, though, that I could never have gotten into the "see how far you can get on first date" sort of scene.

When I say that my lack of dating had nothing conscious to do with my cross-dressing, I have to allow for the possibility that trans biology had something to do with the matter. I have (or had) some of the markers associated with xxy, and one of the common patterns with xxy is that they start late on dating. (There are a couple of important markers associated with xxy that I do not have, so it is considered unlikely I have that exactly, but other odd gender biology is a possibility.)

[Mikkigurll]

I dated a lot as both a teenager and adult. I never let my girlfriends know about my crossdressing until later. I was in my thirties before I start sharing that part of me.

[stacycoral]

Katie, girl i with Lori about dating in high school, when i really started dating in my latee 20's did have a trouble with my wife, i told her and we are still together, after four kids, doing great, hugs girl.

[Rogina B]

I was a promiscuous dater that started young.I realize now that I was only chasing "their style".Seems like after I "got my fill" I moved on.Some of them enjoyed feminizing me,but I never let on how much I needed it..lolAnd one live in girlfriend was totally aqccepting of it all and even discussed it with my accepting mother! This style chasing has continued to today,I have to admit and my wife is quick to remind me of it!

[Carrie R]

Never been able to get a date myself, always been terribly shy. Doesn't seem to be related to my crossdressing I think. Just haven't been able to approach women I don't know at all. Also I figure why bother, my crossdressing would probably drive them away anyways. Good thing I love cats.

[Julie Gaum]

My story sort of evolved: Exposed to mother's things at early age and wore them when parents were out by 14 to 16. Spin-the-bottle
at parties (in early 1940s) found me chickening out when it was my turn to kiss a girl. By 17 I did date a few girls but since I was then wearing
one of my mother's girdles that I called my emotional "iron maiden" sex ended with a good-night kiss, if that. Did have a crush on a Swedish red-head but hid my feelings from her, not that it mattered as I was overweight, not goodlooking and did poorly in high school so who would be attracted to me? However for Christmas I would leave a present at her doorstep without a note of who the sender might be. Did take a girl to senior prom although I did fall off my bike getting to her house and crushed the orchid. Grounded by weather overnight while preparing my bomber for overseas brought about my first pick up and checked into motel. Was having her period but I wouldn't have known what to do anyhow. Practically ran away from "sure things" in New Orleans, Savanna, Pittsburgh and in England much to the chagrin and annoyance of my crew. Never really analyzed why --- shy, scared or what? Finally while boarding at Wharton in soph. year the 40-year-old widow living above me taught me how and what to do. Once I lost my virginity I was sexually selfishly insatiable eventhough I had a closet-full of female clothes at the time. So yes in my younger years I was held back by my confusion and yet, can't say I wasn't still confused to my orientation when I found out how the bees did it. Keep in mind that there was no Internet in those years.
Julie

[Alisa]

Did not think... or may be realized that CDing was that important so really did not impact my early relationships. More impact from family influences and experiences. Sooo, I was looking for my life mate all through my young dating life. So while I may have had what one might call one night stands, it was not because a fear of commitment, etc.

[Amy Lynn3]

Maybe I am not typical, but I crossdressed as far back as I can remember, but I also had girlfriends as far back as third grade. My high school years I chased any thing that wore a skirt. I dated almost all weekends and if I did not have a date, I was out with my friends looking for girls to date. I crossdressed when I had nothing else to do, but the most important thing on my mind were girls and dating.

[AllieSF]

" IMO, they were making a subconscious choice that the crossdressing was more important to them than any relationship with a GG ... which makes sense"

I don't understand where you get this reason. It may or may not be subconscious, but I do not believe that it is because crossdressing is more important to them. Rather, I think that if one crossdresses they are much more concerned with how does he tell a girl friend as a young teen or a mature adult, how would anyone think of him if they knew that he was doing something so outside the norm and that is popularly believed to be perverted. I think that there is a lot of shame and guilt associated with this years ago and even today reading some of the posts here. When one is younger fitting in and being cool with one's peers is very important, also dating someone is for most boys and men is an important goal. I don't think it is based on choice, consciously or subconsciously. I believe it creates the very real internal conflict of desiring a girlfriend or mate while at the same time fearing the shame and guilt associated with the activity and with the great possibly that that once revealed the revealer would be embarrassed, shunned or shamed, and then most likely lose that which he is seeking in the first place and may have actually found, a female partner.

As it relates to me, being a very late starter who is totally out and about in the real world, I am very hesitant to pro-actively pursue a serious relationship with a woman because I am very concerned that it could end a relationship before it gets to a very serious stage. I am also a bit afraid to have the "big" conversation. I definitely want to have a mate for my final years, and I have this very big elephant right in the middle of my life. I am hoping, maybe beyond hope, that I meet someone in while dressed who I could be very interested and hopefully she would be very interested in me too.

[Beverley Sims]

It did not affect the way I dated, it was always kept hidden except when I was encouraged to dress by some.

[ReineD]

" IMO, they were making a subconscious choice that the crossdressing was more important to them than any relationship with a GG ... which makes sense"

I don't understand where you get this reason. It may or may not be subconscious, but I do not believe that it is because crossdressing is more important to them.

These are people who said so, Allie, who said they would not enter into a relationship with a woman unless they were assured she would accept the CDing. Surely you've read those comments as well? I'm not saying that every crossdresser feels this way but there are a significant number who do, who have had bad relationships with non-accepting women.

[KarenSusan]

Never been able to get a date myself, always been terribly shy. Doesn't seem to be related to my crossdressing I think. Just haven't been able to approach women I don't know at all. Also I figure why bother, my crossdressing would probably drive them away anyways. Good thing I love cats.

My feelings are mostly the same as Carrie's. I never got married, but I think it was because of my crossdressing. Unfortunately, I'm not crazy about cats.

[Leah Lynn]

These are people who said so, Allie, who said they would not enter into a relationship with a woman unless they were assured she would accept the CDing. Surely you've read those comments as well? I'm not saying that every crossdresser feels this way but there are a significant number who do, who have had bad relationships with non-accepting women.

Reine, this is where I am now, with a deep fear of rejection. Not so as a teen. I had few proper dates, and an occasional ONS or quickie. Never considered having a relationship then.
Leah

[AllieSF]

I see where you are coming from. I agree that some may put dressing as a higher priority. However, since for many others it is something they have do and have even tried stopping, it is really a need to dress and not a matter of being more important than dating someone. I have heard many here state clearly that they would rather not CD because it interferes with everything else and cause more problems than the joy it brings when they can dress. It may be just a matter of semantics between importance (priority) and need (can't stop) while still very much wanting to date, plus the fears of what I mentioned in my first post here.

[Jenni Yumiko]

didn't affect me in the least. Only a handful of people know I do and I dated a lot in HS/College and was primarily a fetish dresser. Didn't really tell anyone until mid 20's, by then I dated over 10 people. Three who do know though are the ones I have been in longer relationships with (Over 2 years) and a couple fwb relationships. Some knew from day 1 others later. Dressing acceptance was never really on my mind until I got older. I would purge or tell. I still don't think it's a deal breaker.
Milage varies here, because I don't think I am as "out" as most of the people who post in MTF.

[Brittany CD]

It was never a problem for me in high school. I was a crossdresser, but I never felt the need to worry about coming out. I guess I just figured it wasn't important to come out or anything. Many of my friends didn't really have a problem with crossdressing either. One of my female friends made at least two guys female with makeup

[franlee]

Having started with my first wife the summer of my Senior year it didn't effect me until we deviorced. From then on it did. If a woman didn't dress in a style that I liked I didn't bother with her and if I dated her and she started wearing thing that I didn't like I stopped seeing her. In short if she didn't wear what I liked on her or that I would have worn it was over. It worked for me my next wife was absolutily wonderful, supportive and accepting and the same after she passed away. With my current wife and we have been married now for 10 years and she accepts and pertisipates too.

[vivianann]

I was forbidden to date when in high school, I did manage to have a couple of girl friends, but that did not last long because my parents would not let me go out, and they wanted to go out on dates and I could not. All I remember is I was very horny, and I wanted to have a girlfriend, and be with her.

[Pedro]

This made it easier for alleviate pressure in addition to provided us a good wall plug to talk about our feminine aspect. The leading cause however why I truly do this, in addition to that is just about the identical for many additional crossdressers, would be the erotic enjoyment that accompany this. Venturing out in public places clothed to be a girl is additionally extremely exciting and offers the enjoyment otherwise.

[Kate Simmons]

Actually, I didn't date girls or anyone else. I always pretty much kept to myself as I observed that a lot of my feelings were not consistent with boys my age. I felt though that if I got any close friends I would be hard pressed to explain my feelings I had thought my only option was to become a girl when learning about Christine Jorgensen and other TS's but kept that hidden, so CDing seemed to provide an outlet for my maternal feelings. :)

[Erica Marie]

Pretty much, I did and still do avoid relationships. I had one that failed and she blamed it on my cd'ing even though it was just an "excuse". Both my ex wife and ex gf knew about it neither approved, so at that point I just say why hassle anyone else with my "problems". Kinda sounds like a downer but but its a difficult thing.

[noeleena]

Hi,

Accepting that your different had a major aspect that would effect me in how i saw girls & other issues that would effect me through my life. & has done .

I saw girls as sisters not as girlfriends as in boy / girl friends, i was not a boy as would be normal or how i should have been . being intersex changes many issues & details of your life, how your percived was one how to express my self was another. being around boys or men was another, i contended with & still do though not near as much as i have, i.... hated.... being around men & thats from birth, & what happened to Mum & me.

At the time i had few friends of my age , more like i looked after others & helped them . yes i had three friends who i thought would like me for myself as a person not wether i was a boy / girl. how i was seen was not what i was , they would not have understood had they known any way, so no real girlfriends & that i belive was best for me, im over 65 so think back to then.

I was able to get married funny that, never thought i would or could, age 24, yes we have three grownup adults, & 9 grandkids so yes even some of us intersexed can help with haveing children , Jos bore our three. would have been 4 was not to be, .

As a female / male. it can be difficult for other's more so your partner, & was in our case, though we are through that now we are just two single women get on well, for now liveing apart. yet very close, as two sisters friends soul mates with family,
i mean after being to gether for 35 years married & known each other over 38 years, not something you just walk away from i cant any way, Jos means so much to me,

As a point of interest i never thought as a male nore could i , my hormones did work for me as intersexed, & changed or helped in my changes long before takeing any synthic meds, & im counted as a menopusal woman .

...noeleena...

[Maria S]

Not so much in my teens but later on any girlfriend I had I will always have a rumage in secret through her wardrobe to see if she had anthing that would fit me.

Saying that I was about 16 and had my first serious girlfriend. Her parents were very open minded about what we got up to. One evening we were on her bed making a boy into a man (or is it a boy into a woman lol). When she was in the bathroom I put her silk pyjamas on thinking it might have an effect on the proceedings (remember I was only 16). She came back saw what I had done called for her dad and he chucked me out. Shame really we were of a similar size.

Maria

[Ressie]

I didn't do much crossdressing but it had an affect on my confidence. I also didn't go on proper dates, but just hooked up with girls that were more aggressive than I was. Now days my wardrobe is getting too big to keep hidden, but there are also other reasons I don't want to get involved with anyone.

[Petra_Briar]

It was not crossdressing when I was in my teen years, it was more of a lingerie fetish. It was a struggle that defined who I am today so in the end it all worked out!

[Aylineira]

From my point of view, it's not that you were accepting and so he's settling for you... it's that you were supportive and that just made him appreciate and love you more. I mean.. I know that's how I was when I told my wife before we got married.

[Shelly117]

It wasn't a problem for me in high school. I dated a lot and never had a problem with women. I guess the pink fog never really entered my mind. Cd was more of a personal thing that I did when I had the time. Which I rarely did in high school. Surprisingly never affected me in dating.

[Chickhe]

I never really had the courage/social skills to walk up to a girl and talk to her when I was a teen, although I would have loved to have a girl friend. Later on CDing did have a fear factor to it although for the most part I could do it on my own time...but ya, doing something like shaving your legs back int he 80's would have been a huge issue if you were discovered.

[Leslie Langford]

I was always attracted to "girly" girls who dressed fashionably and in what I would consider a feminine manner, even back then - i.e. skirts, dresses, hose, heels etc. Being a budding crossdresser, I guess I was living vicariously though these girls at the time.

Of course, back in the 60's and 70's when I was dating, that was a non-brainer, as that was the era of miniskirts, tights, go-go boots, "hot pants" and big hair, and girls rarely wore pants. And if they did, it was usually jeans which would have been appropriate to the type of activity they might be doing at the time - hiking, horse-back riding, miscellaneous grubby chores etc. - and they (and those gawd-awful flip-flops) had not yet become the clothing of choice for everyday/everywhere wear as is the case today.

It also seems to me that back in those days, girls dressed either primly or sexily, as opposed to s.l.u.t.t.y (thank you - censor-bot!) which seems to be the norm nowadays, nor did they have the "potty-mouths" that are so common these days.

I also tended to be attracted to tall girls, probably as a result of a sub-conscious fantasy of possibly fitting into their clothes and shoes and borrowing them for myself from time to time. That never happened, my wife is 5'4" tall whereas I am 5'10", her dress size is 4 sizes below mine (16 vs. 10), and her shoe size is two sizes smaller (9 1/2 vs. 7 1/2). Go figure... ain't love strange! ;).

And as for those tall girls - if I had ended up marrying one of them, she'd likely be borrowing clothes from me at this point rather than the other way around, considering the varied and substantial female wardrobe that I have accumulated over the years. :eek::eek: :heehee:

[Foxglove]

Boy, does this thread bring back some bad memories. But not to worry, Katie: my past isn't your fault, is it?

I did very little dating in high school and on into my 20's, and the few dates I had generally were an awful embarrassment. I'm trying to remember, but I don't think there was a single girl I dated more than once. Normally, you get three strikes. I only ever got one--but I have to admit it was always a big one. I don't blame the girls in question.

I was certainly lacking in confidence. There could have been various reasons for that.


IMO, they were making a subconscious choice that the crossdressing was more important to them than any relationship with a GG ... which makes sense, when you think about it. It's not a pastime or a hobby and they'd rather be alone than risk finding someone who will not accept.




I don't understand where you get this reason. It may or may not be subconscious, but I do not believe that it is because crossdressing is more important to them. Rather, I think that if one crossdresses they are much more concerned with how does he tell a girl friend as a young teen or a mature adult,


I see where you are coming from. I agree that some may put dressing as a higher priority. However, since for many others it is something they have do

This idea makes sense to me, but I wouldn't say my reason was fear that some girl might find out about me. I'd say that my heart certainly wasn't in dating. In high school, I had a vague awareness that I'd rather be a girl than date one. That full realization was still some years down the road, though.

Annabelle

[ArleneRaquel]

I know that my dating girls/women was hindered by my desire to dress enfemme, but I did marry at the age of 22 and I stayed married until my wife's death almost 33 years later. During that time my crossdressing was very limited. I never talk her, but know I dress nearly 24/7 and have done so since 2003/04. I did find many girls/ladies attractive, but I knew where my ultimate future would be and I always desired, to varying degrees at different times to live as a woman. Btw in 6th grade my nun reprimanded moi for being too attracted to one female in particular. She was named Maureen and was of Irish descent and a brunette, and who also wore glasses.

[becky77]

It pretty much destroyed my self esteem so I would say yes it affected dating a lot, as I had no confidence in myself.

[outhiking]

I crossdressed all through high school and college. I think it affected my dating since I would act as a gentleman, the way I would have wanted to be treated if I were a woman on a date. I guess it gave me more empathy for the girls I was dating and boy did I envy their clothes and hair (it was the Big Hair 80's).

[Lainie]

Yeah that makes sense Reine esp for a high schooler because like Jenni pointed out kids can be mean. After we had been dating for a little while I was scared he was only with me because I was supportive and maybe he would just settle for me because it was easy.

Finding the one-in-a-million who accepts you for who you are is not settling--it's winning!

[KatieGG]

Finding the one-in-a-million who accepts you for who you are is not settling--it's winning!

Lol I dont feel that way now, but you try explaining that to a 17-18 year old girl, it made sense in my head at the time, but we went through some things that quickly made those feelings go away.

[Leslie Langford]

I crossdressed all through high school and college. I think it affected my dating since I would act as a gentleman, the way I would have wanted to be treated if I were a woman on a date. I guess it gave me more empathy for the girls I was dating and boy did I envy their clothes and hair (it was the Big Hair 80's).

If that was the case, then I'm willing to bet that like me, this automatically disqualified you from being "boyfriend" material and consigned you that dreaded "friend" or "like a brother" H*ll from which there was no escape.

And like me, you were likely also the one they came running to in order to complain how shabbily the "bad boy" jocks and bikers that they dated because they were so interesting and "dangerous" (not to mention needed their TLC to help them see the error of their ways) treated them. Duh!

[sandra-leigh]

If that was the case, then I'm willing to bet that like me, this automatically disqualified you from being "boyfriend" material and consigned you that dreaded "friend" or "like a brother" H*ll from which there was no escape.

... The times I thought I was dating someone, only to find out afterwards that she had never considered it that way. There is one in particular that now, 25-ish years later, I still feel like "the one who got away". My Persian beauty...

[EllieOPKS]

when I was dating in high school, I wanted to get in girls panties....period.

[LilSissyStevie]

I can honestly say that I've only asked a girl out on a date once in my life. I was so painfully shy that the thought of it could almost make me wet myself. But the only times I've been without a girlfriend were when I wanted to be alone and when I was hitting bottom with drugs and alcohol. Girls were always attracted to me, at least a certain kind of girl. I had that tortured bad boy loner thing going on. I was attracted to them except that I had a conflict. They saw me as a guy and I could not get into the idea of myself as a guy sexually speaking. But when I was under the influence, I'd try anything. So I spent a lot of time under the influence. The kind of girls that were attracted to me were of the Borderline Personality Disorder variety - AKA psycho bitches from hell. When we had sex, or tried to, I would steal their underwear for myself. We deserved each other. I finally got so bad that I had to be a tortured bad boy loner all by myself. Even the PBFHs didn't want to have anything to do with me. It wasn't crossdressing per se that affected me in dating. Crossdressing was merely a symptom. It was my inability to see myself in a masculine roll either socially or sexually.

[Tess]

I wasn't a big dater in high school but I did date. My CDing had nothing to do with who or how I dated. They were separate parts of my life and they still are today.

[giuseppina]

... IMO, they were making a subconscious choice that the crossdressing was more important to them than any relationship with a GG ...

I'm afraid I must disagree with you here, Reine. Some choose not to date for various reasons. Not dating was one of the ways I kept myself somewhat safe.

[SarahLynn]

By my junior year in high school i was going to school, going to welding school, going to work, going home to sleep. My days started at 0630 and usually ended at 0300 the following day. I'd get up at 0630, shower, walk to school, go to classes until 1530 then walk to a professional welding school and attend classes there until 2030. I'd then hop a ride to the place where i worked and work until 0200 the following day. At 0630 it would start all over again. Weekends (Friday night and Saturday night) was home work and sleep time for me. Sunday night at 2030 my "day" started again. Who had time for dating?? I went on my first highschool date to the senior prom. In my mind it was a bust.

SarahLynn

[ReineD]

I'm afraid I must disagree with you here, Reine. Some choose not to date for various reasons. Not dating was one of the ways I kept myself somewhat safe.

I know that people have different reasons for not dating. I was referring to the members here who have said they would not date a woman unless she knew and accepted the CDing. And others have said that they broke it off with women when the relationship was getting too close, for fear that she would find out about the CDing.