Why is it necessary?

[Kate Simmons]

I've noticed that many folks seem to have the need to be somehow validated en femme as they will often ask if others plan to vote, serve on a jury, go to exercise class or dance class or similar things en femme. I'm kind of wondering what the motivation for this would be. Do some have the need to be identified as TG or feel that they have something to prove to others by doing this or perhaps just something they want to prove to themselves? Are they trying to make some kind of statement or just pass? In many if not all of these situations ID is required, so what is really being accomplished? Not that I have any problem with it, but I, personally, never saw the need to do that. Whatever I do or want to do I can do in either mode without a problem if I so desire.Otherwise if I desired to be a woman, I would transition to become one. As the old ad for People magazine used to say: "Inquiring people want to know." :)

[Beverley Sims]

I think some people want to make a statement to establish themselves.
I present for official duties in the mode I am comfortable with.
As I progress I may present more often as a woman, but it is a progression that will take a long time.

[Chickhe]

I think its like you say, self validation, but there is also an adrenaline rush and feeling of accomplishment after years of being too scared to leave the house.

[Foxglove]

I'm living full time now as a transperson, so I want to do everything in my trans identity. It is a problem for me since all my documents are still in my old drab identity.

I'd only been out for a few days when we had a vote on a referendum here in Ireland. I went along en femme because I wanted to be me. The woman in charge of the polling station was very decent and allowed me to vote even though my identity didn't match my appearance.

Next week I plan to change my name legally. The question is whether I need to go to the office in question in drab so as to establish my identity before I change my name. One of my contacts who knows the ropes says that that office is well used by now to transpeople changing their names, so it shouldn't be any problem for me to appear as myself. Once I have my name changed, I'll be changing lots of documents.

I won't deny it's a buzz doing stuff like that en femme. But that's not the main reason I do it. The real reason is that I want to be me, every hour, every minute from now on.

Best wishes, Annabelle

[Melissa Rose]

Based on my observations and talking with others, I think for many cross dressers it is more desire than a necessity or for validation. There is a subtle difference, thus they easily become confounded variables. For some, it is a natural progression of exploring and expressing their feminine side. A smaller mountain has been conquered so it is time to move onto a different or bigger quest. For others, it is part of a fantasy in their head, a created story or what they imagine as defining a woman. The reasons are probably as varied as the people involved. Many of the expressed desires seem to be opportunity or situational driven such as election time, being in a particular venue or an activity where there is some type of a perceived gender divide especially if it is visual (i.e., how one dresses). If it was purely for validation or a necessity, the activity or venue would not matter very much. Many of the posts seem to revolve around a particular activity or venue, thus the specific activity or venue is a significant driving force rather than just a need for validation. Validation would occur anywhere and not be very situational or venue dependent.

[busker]

is indeed between the ears, as many have indicated, is there any necessity to do anything but recognize that one is different and that is all that needs to be done. We could all eliminate the hassle of cross dressing just by accepting that we are indeed "of a feminine mind "and let it go at that. If I am who I say I am, then everything else is window dressing. N'est pas?
Most people don't seem to believe it when we say we have a different mental attitude--they just think we are weird or worse.

[AllieSF]

I look at why I go out dressed. First it was to prove that I could do it and because I already knew that if a dressed a lot, I would get bored at home and would want to get out in the real world. Then it was to go to restaurants and shop that I would go to as a male. Then based on my personality, and on my growing new experiences it was to interact with others. Then there is my Bucket List to do some extra things en femme, like riding a train, going to a public pool in a woman's bathing suit, flying en femme, taking public transport, and too many more to list. One thing is that all the while I want to blend in, not to hide better, but to make my presentation more real to others and myself. So for me, it does include some type of validation, need to prove to myself that I can do it and do it successfully, and most importantly to have a lot of great fun, which I am also successful doing.

[ArleneRaquel]

I just love to present myself as a woman as often and to as many people as I can.

[Foxglove]

Then there is my Bucket List to do some extra things en femme, like riding a train,

This was one of my dreams, too, and I've done that. It is a fabulous experience.


going to a public pool in a woman's bathing suit,

However, I'll gladly spare the public the horror of this sorry spectacle.

Annabelle

[ArleneRaquel]

A few years ago, when I still owned my own home, I was wearing a one piece bathing suite while gardening and an elderly waked by and started a chat with me. I believe she thought thought I was a real woman, which certainly made my day. Maybe this post was a bit off topic, but I had to enter it. here HUGZ!

[Kate Simmons]

A few years ago, when I still owned my own home, I was wearing a one piece bathing suite while gardening and an elderly waked by and started a chat with me. I believe she thought thought I was a real woman, which certainly made my day. Maybe this post was a bit off topic, but I had to enter it. here HUGZ!It's okay Arlene. The more the merrier. I look forward to the time when we can all matter of factly interface with anyone without them blinking an eye lash.:)

[2B Natasha]

I look at why I go out dressed. First it was to prove that I could do it and because I already knew that if a dressed a lot, I would get bored at home and would want to get out in the real world. Then it was to go to restaurants and shop that I would go to as a male. Then based on my personality, and on my growing new experiences it was to interact with others. Then there is my Bucket List to do some extra things en femme, like riding a train, going to a public pool in a woman's bathing suit, flying en femme, taking public transport, and too many more to list. One thing is that all the while I want to blend in, not to hide better, but to make my presentation more real to others and myself. So for me, it does include some type of validation, need to prove to myself that I can do it and do it successfully, and most importantly to have a lot of great fun, which I am also successful doing.

Like you where writing my story. My bucket list is different then yours but otherwise it's very similar. I get some validatin. out if it. Still. That is a secondary motivation.

I do have to throw in here. That I have never shoved it in an establishments face or forced my rights to go and present as one gender or the other. That holds no interest to me. Not even the thought of it. I s'pose part of me is tempered in the fact that I wear a gender mix of clothing and rules of society about what I can and can't wear are more like recommendations. I find that helps to curb allot of desire.

Cheers.

[wilt575]

I
I've noticed that many folks seem to have the need to be somehow validated en femme as they will often ask if others plan to vote, serve on a jury, go to exercise class or dance class or similar things en femme. I'm kind of wondering what the motivation for this would be. Do some have the need to be identified as TG or feel that they have something to prove to others by doing this or perhaps just something they want to prove to themselves? Are they trying to make some kind of statement or just pass? In many if not all of these situations ID is required, so what is really being accomplished? Not that I have any problem with it, but I, personally, never saw the need to do that. Whatever I do or want to do I can do in either mode without a problem if I so desire.Otherwise if I desired to be a woman, I would transition to become one. As the old ad for People magazine used to say: "Inquiring people want to know." :)

I just think most people who ask are just courious as to how common it is, not validation. I just do things in the mode I feel comfortable in, mostly fem ,and no not trying to make any statement or be obvious. As far a situations where ID is required I do have fem ID, drivers lic, baptismal cert, voter card etc.

[Vickie_CDTV]

Some people also get a sense of... excitement for lack of a better word, from doing something perceived as risky and pushing the envelope (not unlike some cis people like to do, in a different context.)

[Rogina B]

Some people also get a sense of... excitement for lack of a better word, from doing something perceived as risky and pushing the envelope (not unlike some cis people like to do, in a different context.)
Or a sense of accomplishment for showing some more people that a TG person does live a regular life like everyone else.We aren't a deer in the headlights and we aren't running away,so people best treat us as nicely as we treat them..I have a button pin that I was given last year that puts it best .. "I'm Transgender,and I vote".

[Xrys]

I think it is as simple as wanting a return on investment. Why spend so much time and money to change our appearance if nobody ever sees it. what artist does not want their masterpiece to be admired, what musician dos not want his music to be heard? This part of us that yearns to be expressed, also wants to be recognized and accepted by others. We spend so much of our time and energy polishing and perfecting our presentation, we want to know if we are sucessful, if we are actually getting somewhere, or if we are just waisting our time. My father was a wood worker, he spent lots of money, time, and energy in his workshop. He loved to show people the things he made out there. It was a feeling of acomplishment and pride in his work. I do not see us as being any different.

[Angela Campbell]

If I could I would always look like a female. It is not in the cards for my situation but if I could I would. I have always wanted to.