Passing vs. Looking good?

[AlexisRaeMoon]

I've noticed a lot of talk around here about whether or not men can look good as women, and whether or not passing is possible, and it got me thinking: maybe worrying so much about "passing" is barking up the wrong tree. I know I used to think that that was the ulitmate goal. To walk around in public and just have people think you're female. As I spend more time dressing, I question not only whether that's a reasonable goal, but what's the point in even bothering? Without the use of hormones and/or surgery, it's nearly impossible to be totally unreadable. There's bound to be some giveaway.

BUT...who cares? Ultimately, it's just about looking good (however you choose to define it) or, put a different way, being happy with how you look. I posit that it is entirely possible for a genetic male to wear female attire and other accessories (makeup, jewelry, etc.) and be an "attractive" person. You may never avoid the dreaded, "hey, that's a dude!" But I believe it's entirely possible to be pretty.

Thoughts?

[AllieSF]

I have the same thoughts. I like to use the phrase "own it". That really defines for me being happy when dressed and out. It means accept who you are, accept that you are doing the best possible and hope to get better, do not be ashamed, be brave and confident, and most importantly, don't let other's opinions ruin your moment, because you "own" that moment, not them!

[KateSpade83]

I think passing is very important if you're going to go out shopping as a woman and try on women's clothes in the woman's fitting room. Or if you use a crowded women's toilet. I pass 95% of the time but what gets the best passable crossdressers read is that sometimes we all have distinct male facial features that still come out and get you read.

I tried on clothes in the women's fitting room many times and sometimes women would walk around braless and I'd see their tits... So they sure would panic and get pissed off if they found out I was a man.

There are a few members here who aren't passable enough and yet they go through a sex change. That would be a big disaster for me if I was them. I don't consider a sex change or messing around with hormones because ultimately no man made operation can make me a REAL woman with a real vagina and periods.

[Barbara Ella]

Face it, there are persons of each sex who do not fit the preconceived criteria of being "presentable or passing" for their sex. It is always best just to do what feels natural, and makes you happy with yourself, and then just own it, and sell it, and live with it. We all know what is going to happen, so be it.

Barbara

[Katrina Black]

I my mind passing is when you say "who cares , i look good, Im happy with the way i look".. which i believe you just said . Which i think makes you passable to the one that it matters most.

[Sallee]

I would agree and act yourself. I have often thought that. I just want to go out dressed as a female and act how I act, civilized I think, and be treated well regardless of gender appearance.

[NathalieX66]

I yam what I yam.....as Popeye would say.

[Jenniferathome]

...I tried on clothes in the women's fitting room many times and sometimes women would walk around braless and I'd see their tits...

and then you woke up from your nap? Never, in the history of changing rooms, has a woman exited her changing room braless and in view of others.

[AllieSF]

Jennifer, I would never say never. There are no absolutes in life except death.

[Badtranny]

I have the same thoughts. I like to use the phrase "own it".

You don't just use that phrase honey, you LIVE it!

I have the pleasure of hanging out with Ms SF quite often and she is so comfortable in her presentation that passing is a total afterthought. She really does own it and somehow she makes everybody feel comfortable. I can't even imagine somebody giving her a hard time. ...except me.

Passing? Blending? How about living?

[ReineD]

As I spend more time dressing, I question not only whether that's a reasonable goal, but what's the point in even bothering? Without the use of hormones and/or surgery, it's nearly impossible to be totally unreadable. There's bound to be some giveaway.

My SO also came to this conclusion, but not until she interacted on a regular basis with the people who work at the places she goes to, and they got to know her. Under these circumstances it's pretty hard to come off as a GG.

I'm just guessing here, but could it be there is such a strong desire to pass in the beginning, because a CDer feels that people will treat him (her) poorly or make fun of him if they realize he is a man in a dress? And that in time, as the CDer realizes that strangers either don't care or they keep their opinions to themselves, passing ceases to be important?

When my SO went from keeping to herself when she went out (rummaging quietly through racks of clothes, or just ordering a soda somewhere with a minimum of words), to actively getting to know others, knowing their names and engaging in general chit chat and light conversations, she did need to come to terms with being read and I think this was bittersweet for her. Maybe there was a bit of fantasy involved with being taken as a woman. I'll have to ask her. But, when she did come to terms with it, she realized that although people knew she wasn't a GG, they didn't treat her like a "man in a dress" either. They rather respected the fact that she is transgender.

We don't get into any education with the people we know about whether my SO is a crossdresser, transsexual, bigender, etc. Frankly, I don't think that people in the mainstream understand the differences between all the different layers of trans nor do I think they wonder whether my SO has had SRS or not. But they do see her as a person who is presenting as a woman and they treat her accordingly.

[Tracii G]

Part of the ability to pass is how you act and respond to others.Confidence in who you are weather or not you are a GG or not.
Dress the part and act the part and most will see you as a female.Sure some will read you and thats fine act dignified and proper.

[AllieSF]

They rather respected the fact that she is transgender.

We don't get into any education with the people we know about whether my SO is a crossdresser, transsexual, bigender, etc. Frankly, I don't think that people in the mainstream understand the differences between all the different layers of trans nor do I think they wonder whether my SO has had SRS or not. But they do see her as a person who is presenting as a woman and they treat her accordingly.

I agree with that first sentence and that happens to me and my partner in crime Rachael Sloane all the time. We do get the occasional, "Are you gay?". Instead of getting into a lot of detail we say that "We do this part time and are happy that way." It seems to clarify the situation without getting into all the details and labels. When appropriate, we do get into more details explaining who we are and why we do it (For the fun of it!). We definitely are treated as respectfully as if we were women.

[Michelle (Oz)]

Adrianna and Reine - both spot on for me too.

Blending does remain important to me particularly for those change room and toilet situations. However, interaction when out is also very important to me and I have built up a strong network of, well, acquaintances. Such engagement prevents the potential loneliness of a CDer. My male voice has me read immediately if I wasn't read before. Its empowering though and builds my confidence with people as well as their general acceptance.

You make an interesting point Reine which hadn't struck me to now. I had thought that I was seen as a man in a dress - kinda frowned upon. I wonder whether many of those that I come into contact with look beyond the clothes and are really more accepting of me. Presentation remains important though, otherwise the image would be jarring.

[Pythos]

I almost never dress to "pass". I dress to look effing exotic, and and good. I want WOMEN to see me and say "wow, you look HOT" or "wow you are gorgeous" or my personal fave "I want to peel you out of that catsuit and do naughty things to you" (I have gotten such lines....unfortunately the ones delivering said lines were hooked up in one way or another, or I know too much about to want to get romatically involved.)
I just like to put together a look that is just wild enough, and yea it is fun to fool for the first few seconds. :P

[ReineD]

Presentation remains important though, otherwise the image would be jarring.

Presentation is important mostly for the people that you have not interacted with, namely the people who pass you by on the street or the women in the restrooms. Strangers are more apt to pass judgment when they see someone from an emotional distance (no human interaction), and in these circumstances it's important to not attract undue attention, for example looking like the stereotypical crossdresser. But, something magical happens when there is human interaction that is difficult to put into words. People's defenses melt, the CDer's personality shines through more than what she or he is wearing, and often, any preexisting, slight biases melt away. The person talking to you realizes that you are a nice person and you are not a threat to them. It is at this point that "passing" is not all that important.

[Elsa Larson]

Every time I see a woman who has broad shoulders, thick waist, straight hips, strong jaw-line, adams apple, baritone voice or any other possibly male component, I wonder to myself if she MTF.

MOST of those women turn out to be normal 46,XX natal females.

But it is because of those women that some trans-women can "pass". I figure I'm "passing" if the answer to "Is She or Isn't She" is MAYBE.

And even when I'm immediately recognized as a man in a dress, I've been treated well at most of the places I go.

[noeleena]

Hi.

Passing or looking good,

The comment ill get is you are looking nice or thats smart, most times from friends with in our groups, or strangers who see me dressed in my period wear or garb, while on flights over sea's .

Passing ,

As a woman ill never pass , that sounds like im not a woman. so = i am a female / woman who does not have the feminine look no female facial features so not possibale no matter how i dress or look.

yes i know of many men who will look pass & appear more of a woman than i & ill be embarissed around them.& have done many times, & yes they can change thier clothes & be come or go back to what they are, many are very good at being able to to that, a masquerade or makebelive or similar . i dont have that privalige,

Even being on hormones for life & surgerys will never change what i dont have, or was not born with as a female,

My Peer's have judged me & passed me as a female / woman. based on my being a female who's different. so for some of us we have other qualitys that surpass's our looks & passability.

...noeleena...

[Rachelakld]

When in the ladies room, I like to think I can blend.
On the otherhand, my bod shape is very wrong for a girl and I love tight clothes or shoe string tops that show of my arms, shoulders and back, so I know I don't blend.
I still politely great the lady who is hogging the mirror in the ladies room, preventing me from checking my makeup

[Kate Simmons]

Absolutely nothing wrong with a guy wanting to look (and feel) pretty. What we get out of it is mostly up to us, despite what others may think or say. Go for it I say.:)

[Rogina B]

Being questionable as to your real gender from a quick glance is good enough for me.Once scrutinized,[while waiting in a checkout line,etc]the details of your presentation take over.If your appearance shows that you care,then they accept that you are "there to stay".In this day and age,no one knows for sure what is in your panties! Most people accept people for who they are and move on with their thoughts.

[Launa]

I know I will never pass even from a satelite photo so I can't worry about being read too much.

I've just got to look the very, very best I can and deal with any crap that comes along with being this way.

[MsRenee]

As long as I look good and can enjoy the outside I will continue to go out. Passing that Im not worried about. Trust me its always nice to get a compliment, but when I go out Im not looking for them Im just out relaxing and ejoying life these days. Lifes bbeen a work and know when time allows it ( which is usually twice a week)I get to fully dress and to get my tush outside.
Hugs
Renee

[Gretchen_To_Be]

I know I will never pass even from a satelite photo so I can't worry about being read too much.

I've just got to look the very, very best I can and deal with any crap that comes along with being this way.


That was really funny (the satellite photo part)

[genevie]

I will never pass. Too many masculine characteristics. If I think too much, it really depresses me. I still would love to try a transformation service just once to see how close or really how bad it would be. But no way am I ever going to try and go out in public. I have to be content with inside feminine stuff. Oh, I can look down at my feet and see something a little pretty. But really they are guy's feet with prettier nails. So it is probably going to always be me walking around with a little secret inside and feeling somewhat better for expressing it just a bit.

[Marleena]

I think everybody knows how I feel about "passing" by now.:D

Don't pass go, don't collect 200$ and try to blend instead.:)

[Foxglove]

My situation is perhaps a bit unusual, given that I live in a small town where everybody knows me. No matter what I looked like, I couldn't pass.

It doesn't matter. People treat me well. That's the main thing. When you're out in the world as yourself, interacting with people as yourself, and they're all being nice and accepting, then it is a real buzz. It makes you feel good about life.

It's not really about passing. It's about living. If you're being yourself out in the world, that's what makes you happy.

Annabelle

[ArleneRaquel]

As long as I fell that I look good I'm satisfied, being passable is something that I'm not concerned about at this time.

[Beverley Sims]

I think if you look presentable and look good as a dude in a dress, it messes with peoples minds enough for them to let you pass.

[Lorileah]

I "own it" most the time. I am past caring (or I don't care if I pass?). Head up, walk like you know where you are going and smile.

[Debra Russell]

I Pass, I pass, I pass, I pass, Ipass I pass, I pass, I pass, I pass, I pass ----my mama told me I could have anything I wanted - If I wanted It bad enough, I pass, I pass --- delusional minds are a intriguing study.......................Debra

[I Am Paula]

I "own it" most the time. I am past caring (or I don't care if I pass?). Head up, walk like you know where you are going and smile.

I'll take the acceptance of those around me over passing anytime. I used to obsess about it, but now I just do my best and go with it. -Celeste

[ReineD]

I still would love to try a transformation service just once to see how close or really how bad it would be.

Transformation services or makeovers are great! My SO had it done once when she was at the BeAll in Chicago, for a photo shoot. But, you can't go out in the mainstream looking like that. The makeup was for photography and it was way too extreme to wear out and about, my SO would have been read as a drag queen. They had her skin taped taut into her hairline and put a big wig on her even though she has her own long hair. She had a lot of fun with it, but she doesn't use any of those pics as avatars anywhere because this isn't what she looks like in real life.

[rachaelsloane]

I'll take the acceptance of those around me over passing anytime. I used to obsess about it, but now I just do my best and go with it. -Celeste
I have to agree with Lorileah and Celeste, acceptance way overrides passing at this stage in my life. I dress well (receive a lot of compliments) and act natural and relaxed while out, but most important, I HAVE FUN.

[ReineD]

I think everybody knows how I feel about "passing" by now.:D

Don't pass go, don't collect 200$ and try to blend instead.:)

Just curious, what's the difference between passing and blending?

To me, someone passes best (in other words she does give the impression she is a guy in a dress) when she adopts clothing within the usual range for the venue as the other women who are there, and she doesn't try to plaster on the makeup which would make her stand out. Isn't this "blending"?

[Marleena]

Just curious, what's the difference between passing and blending?

To me, someone passes best (in other words she does give the impression she is a guy in a dress) when she adopts clothing within the usual range for the venue as the other women who are there, and she doesn't try to plaster on the makeup which would make her stand out. Isn't this "blending"?

Passing is something very few can accomplish. It's not getting "read" by others even in close up social settings. Blending is easier to achieve and is when you know you'll get read up close and personal but you go enjoy yourself anyways but you try not to call attention yourself by dressing age and venue appropriate..

[ReineD]

Passing is something very few can accomplish. It's not getting "read" by others even in close up social settings.

OK, you mean being stealth. I agree, this is difficult to accomplish for most people, unless one is transitioning with HRT & FFS, and even then it takes awhile according to a few who are going through it.

[Lynn Marie]

BUT...who cares? Ultimately, it's just about looking good (however you choose to define it) or, put a different way, being happy with how you look. I posit that it is entirely possible for a genetic male to wear female attire and other accessories (makeup, jewelry, etc.) and be an "attractive" person. You may never avoid the dreaded, "hey, that's a dude!" But I believe it's entirely possible to be pretty.

Thoughts?

Very well put dear. Couldn't have said it better. I know a few CD's that I'm sure can "pass" on a good day. They just have the right combination of facial features and paint to make it happen. The rest of their bodies are suitably dressed to accentuate the best and to minimalize their "not so attractive" features.

Me? I just do the best I can and avoid "looking" for those unapproving looks, amused grins, and those expressions of surprise. If I'm there, I "own" the place with a caring and friendly attitude. I'm out for fun, and I'm very fortunate to have it in spades.

[Bethany_Anne_Fae]

Part of the ability to pass is how you act and respond to others.Confidence in who you are weather or not you are a GG or not.
Dress the part and act the part and most will see you as a female.Sure some will read you and thats fine act dignified and proper.

THIS! What Tracii G says... is spot on.

I'll add that no matter what you are trying to portray, be it in real life or on stage, CONVICTION in what you do will get you past most people without a notice ;) I do it every weekend.

[Luna Nyx]

i want to do both to be honest.

[Julogden]

Nothing but an enthusiastic thumbs-up from me. :)

Carol

[Angela Campbell]

I don't know if I pass or not. No one has ever reacted badly to me. I kind of think some people may wonder but are not sure enough to actually say anything in case they are wrong. Thats good enough for me.

[famousunknown]

I think passing is very important if you're going to go out shopping as a woman and try on women's clothes in the woman's fitting room. Or if you use a crowded women's toilet. I pass 95% of the time but what gets the best passable crossdressers read is that sometimes we all have distinct male facial features that still come out and get you read.

I tried on clothes in the women's fitting room many times and sometimes women would walk around braless and I'd see their tits... So they sure would panic and get pissed off if they found out I was a man.

There are a few members here who aren't passable enough and yet they go through a sex change. That would be a big disaster for me if I was them. I don't consider a sex change or messing around with hormones because ultimately no man made operation can make me a REAL woman with a real vagina and periods.

This is interesting.
You say: "I pass 95% of the time"
And then you say: "There are a few members here who aren't passable enough and yet they go through a sex change"

Maybe you need to re-evaluate yourself and see if you're really as passable as you seem to think you are, before passing judgment on others?

[CarolynO]

I think everybody knows how I feel about "passing" by now.:D

Don't pass go, don't collect 200$ and try to blend instead.:)

Exactly Marleen,Get out of jail free should work too:)

[Marleena]

Exactly Marleen,Get out of jail free should work too:)


Yep we'll need the get out of jail card if we don't dress properly. The fashion police are out there!:D

[Ceri Anne]

I find that young Cd's in their 20's often pass very good, and those in their 60's. It seems in the middle we have a tendency to have harder faces and broader shoulders. Young men often have slight features and softer faces. I have seen some who easily pass and could be models. Older women get looser faces, wrinkels and such. Thats makes it easier for us to pass if we are age apropriate. I am 50, and dress for 30, and most people say I pass very well. I don't beleive I pass undetected, but I do feel I look very nice despite my broad shoulders and bigger gut than I would like. Gotta loose that 30 lbs....lol.

As you said, the important thing is to pass reasonably, look and feel pretty, but not nessary to pass completely.

[KateSpade83]

This is interesting.
You say: "I pass 95% of the time"
And then you say: "There are a few members here who aren't passable enough and yet they go through a sex change"

Maybe you need to re-evaluate yourself and see if you're really as passable as you seem to think you are, before passing judgment on others?

Yeah, I pass 95% of the times, but I stopped going out as a woman often because I got used to it. I went to a crowded women's bathroom in Galleria Mall Houston and passed. I got read a rare few times. And it's true what I say about some other people here - they are not passable yet they are going through a sex change. - My point is that they're setting themselves up for a difficult life after a sex change, because they are not passable. SO I'M HELPING THEM OUT INSTEAD OF CRITICISING THEM OR LOOKING DOWN ON THEM. And I don't mention who they are so no harm either.

[Violetgray]

Yeah, I pass 95% of the times, but I stopped going out as a woman often because I got used to it. I went to a crowded women's bathroom in Galleria Mall Houston and passed. I got read a rare few times. And it's true what I say about some other people here - they are not passable yet they are going through a sex change. - My point is that they're setting themselves up for a difficult life after a sex change, because they are not passable. SO I'M HELPING THEM OUT INSTEAD OF CRITICISING THEM OR LOOKING DOWN ON THEM. And I don't mention who they are so no harm either.

Kate, some people have only 3 options:

1.) Transition
2.) Be unhappy until they die
3.) Die

That's IT. So warning someone that they don't pass will do zero for a transitioning woman but make her feel self-conscious and afraid. If she's a true transsexual she's certainly not going to be stopped by not being able to pass. It's a NEED, not an interest.

[Nicole Erin]

Kate, some people have only 3 options:

1.) Transition
2.) Be unhappy until they die
3.) Die


They could also work for secret service as a crossdressing agent.

[Nikki50/50]

Why should there be a difference in the two?

[Kerstin]

Why should there be a difference in the two?

I think 'looking good' has different meanings depending on whether or not someone passes. What does it mean to say that someone who doesn't pass at all looks good? Looks good as what - a woman or a well turned-out crossdresser? Stylish, good hair/makeup? Perhaps that's what it would mean in that particular context. Ultimately I think it depends on what you're trying to achieve, and that may differ between transsexuals and crossdressers.

[Launa]

Yeah, I pass 95% of the times, but I stopped going out as a woman often because I got used to it. I went to a crowded women's bathroom in Galleria Mall Houston and passed. I got read a rare few times.




And it's true what I say about some other people here - they are not passable yet they are going through a sex change. - My point is that they're setting themselves up for a difficult life after a sex change, because they are not passable. SO I'M HELPING THEM OUT INSTEAD OF CRITICISING THEM OR LOOKING DOWN ON THEM. And I don't mention who they are so no harm either.

You might think you'll pass 95% of the time but that's probably your opinion. It might not be reality.





You're not helping anybody here regardless whether you mention who they are or not.

[Petra_Briar]

For those that can pass, all themoer power to you. Bot for the rest of us, I think the goal should be to be comfortable and not feel like you are attracting unwanted negative attention. I am not quite comfortable with how I look in a public setting so I choose not to go out in public. maybe some day but it will be on my terms with how I feel....not on other peoples terms or definitions.

[AlexisRaeMoon]

Fascinating discussion. Thanks for all the comments!

Ultimately, look in the mirror and like what you see, right?

[Maria S]

Without trying to boast I go out most weekdays and am amongst hundreds of people of all ages both male and female and to my knowledge not one of them realises I am a bloke.

Maria

[famousunknown]

You might think you'll pass 95% of the time but that's probably your opinion. It might not be reality.

It's definitely "not" reality.

[Karren H]

I'd rather be a good looking Crossdresser than a blend into the crowd.... looking female...... wearing friggin jeans... lol

[Debra Russell]

I'd rather be a good looking Crossdresser than a blend into the crowd.... looking female...... wearing friggin jeans... lol

Atta boy - errr......GIRL Karren..............................Debra

[Stephanie47]

I will never pass as a woman, at least close up and from a frontal view. Height and weight may be proportional, but, I am on the upper end of female spectrum for body size; 6 foot even and 195 pounds. Now I am proportioned with no beer belly. I make an effort to appear as womanly as possible, even if I am a stay in the home cross dresser. If I am going to emulate a woman, I want to look like a tastefully dressed woman. I always wear a pretty dress that any woman would wear to the mall or work. I always wear proper undergarments and hosiery. I always don a wig, although I forego the makeup due to time constraints.

I see too many GG's who make absolutely no effort in making themselves presentable. (The same goes for men.) I don't mean running down to the mailbox at the curb. I mean in an environment where you expect to encounter people, like a store or mall.

I worked in a professional office environment where many professional women came to work in sweat suits, capri pants, sandals, jeans, almost to the extent of beach or BBQ attire. Now these people were interacting with CPA's, attorneys, and their clients.

I've read article indicating many firms were getting rid of dress down Fridays, because it was having a negative effect on productivity.

As to the direct question. If you know you cannot pass for a woman, there is no reason not to dress up. In a recent thread someone stated he felt he looked like an overweight woman and was ugly. I see many overweight woman who are tastefully dressed. I also see many obese woman who wear tight outfits to the extent they look like sausages stuffed into too tight a casing. Ugh!

Some of the pictures posted on this forum, who have the stature and poise and looks and wear tasteful attire, I know you'll pass in any environment. I don't mean just the very young, but, all the ages.

[AllieSF]

Fascinating discussion. Thanks for all the comments!

Ultimately, look in the mirror and like what you see, right?

Yes, exactly, BUT don't look too long!

[Michelle (Oz)]

Without trying to boast I go out most weekdays and am amongst hundreds of people of all ages both male and female and to my knowledge not one of them realises I am a bloke.

Maria

But what is the fun of passing? OK, that's an achievement but do you have any interaction with people?

I'm out most weekdays too. 95% of people are busy doing their own thing. As long as my basic cues (body shape, walk, makeup, etc) are right they'll pass on by none the wiser.

Interacting with others quickly has me read if I'm not already but engaging is empowering, validating and reduces the loneliness of a CDer. It has given me a whole new perspective on the tolerance/acceptance within the community.

[NathalieX66]

hmm.
I like that.

I have been lucky to have a couple of friends who transition/transitioned.

I' m a half-transitioner....I'm completely happy with that. I am me.

A shorty (5'6") like me has no problem in the public eye, except for certain folks who study us.

[Rachael Jones]

Maybe I will never pass personally - I don't know enough about the female persona I am emulating to even hazard a guess. I certainly have regrets I never tried earlier in life, as I am now in the middle of life, at that hard stage someone posted earlier. I'm definitely bloke-looking, but playing on Taaz I can see potential in myself to become more feminine.

But...

I'm not going to delude myself and think I will pass even then. If I'm completely honest, I don't think I want to - my personality would be destroyed if I were to try and fail, get read or have scorn poured on me. I'm not that strong a character to do that. I just want to be happy as I can trying my best to transform away from the male side, making myself as much female as I can. Lose the body hair, lose the flab, look after my skin. Things I never did whilst I remained simply male.

[paulaprimo]

i dress for me...it makes me feel good and thats who i am. when i go out, i dress conservative and not over the top. i do try to blend. i'm not trying to draw attention to me. honesty i have no idea how people view me but i don't really care. i'm sure if they look hard enough, i'm not fooling anyone!! but it's not about them, it's how i feel that is important to me. i love it and enjoy it...and that's all that matters! :)

[Launa]

It's definitely "not" reality.

You're right, I will rephrase my last politicaly correct comment and say some people might think they pass "95% of the time" but its probably because people don't want to get caught looking a CD in the eye and just quickly look away once they recodnize us.

The other 5% of the time people will look you in the eye and let you know it.

[zorianacd]

I agree with you wholeheartedly on this point. I just want to look good. Something is going to give me away. But I don't care. All I want someone to say is, "I know that's a guy, but he sure looks good." Everyone can appreciate a person who is well put together.

[Sophie_C]

The sum total of what I believe is the healthiest approach to passabilty was shown in this clip from "My Transsexual Summer." Look to blend. Realize that unless you have extreme surgery and / or good genes and transition at a very young age, it's not happening. But, it's not the end of the world, and you can still have an amazing time.

Be honest, and open, open and positive and people will react positively. It's that simple.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0VYtFP-RYvg

[missmars]

Looking good. becauseIam to tall

[Vickie_CDTV]

I know I don't pass and I have never been under any illusion that I do, but am generally "left alone" when out in public dressed. My presentation is very "non-threatening" as a GG friend once told me; I look like a short, chubby middle aged professional woman. I am almost always a bit overdressed when I go out, but I guess since I am otherwise not very interesting after being read people have a smirk or giggle and they just move on.

[Nikki50/50]

I think 'looking good' has different meanings depending on whether or not someone passes. What does it mean to say that someone who doesn't pass at all looks good? Looks good as what - a woman or a well turned-out crossdresser? Stylish, good hair/makeup? Perhaps that's what it would mean in that particular context. Ultimately I think it depends on what you're trying to achieve, and that may differ between transsexuals and crossdressers.

It may be that, possibly a step further: It depends on what you try to achieve, regardless of who you are, CD, TS, or just as you usually are. Each of us is our own island (Sorry, John Donne, but times are different now :P)

[Carol A]

Teacii G'
You hit the nail dead on the head and that is my total outlook, but I add two more things to it. #1 a nice smile when around people, #2 I always say TY to folks. Life as a CD'er is nothing but healthy for your well being.

[kimdl93]

I couldn't agree with you more. There are times, given my body structure and height, when I'm certainly not going to pass convincingly. But I do think I can strive to be nicely put together, attractive if you will, and express the peron in side...even if someone reads me as a dude.