How much the perception of the world changed when you discovered you were a trans/CD?

[Ryan A.]

What's up guys? This section is a little bit down, so this is a chance to start things up! :D

When I discovered that I was CD (later bigender), I started to look gender-things differently. Ok, I think y'all did it, but it's just the way to start the topic hehehe

Years ago, my mom bought a pair of man jeans for her. I remember that I thought it was sort of crazy, but she said it was really comfortable for her that jeans (althought she never bouth a "man jeans" again). I though "well, if she feels nice in it, that's ok", but inside of me I was like "it's weird, like, it was made for man!!!".

After I discovered this another side of me, I see man and woman clothes in a different way. Althought I usually use man clothes when I'm on boy mode and woman clothes when I'm on girl mode, I don't think it's weird if someone wears something that it wasn't designed for that person's gender. So when I see my mom wearing that jeans, I feel like it's nothing wrong or weird with it.

And nowadays I can see a cisman/cisboy in a dress like it's the most normal thing in the world (because it is - that's the point)!

What I just wrote is just one small side of it, of course. My point in this thread is to y'all share some moment in your life that you see it different now! It can be about appearence, behavior, sexuallity, etc.

[mistunderstood]

I think for me it was when I was little I knew I was different but did not know why. Then when I was eight some thing happened and I did not care for a long time. I was in high school I thought I liked girls but was to scared to do any thing about it plus I had problems with past issues. I also started to wear guys clothing all the time. i was afraid to date because I had all kinds of fear about it. I had questions like what if I am not gay? I did not want to date because if I was not gay I did not want to hurt them if we had to break up. I did not date till I was 32. I took a chance and I have been dating since then. I am lucky. I have been dating same person for about 10 years. After I started dating I found out that I am trans. It has been a long road to were I am now. I now consider my self Bi-sexual.
Of all the things I have learned from this is to keep asking your-self the hard questions and to be honest with your answers to your-self.

[Andy66]

Good question. I started to feel more confident and stronger once everything started clicking. When I thought of myself as female, I had always felt like a potential victim of men, because some men treat women badly, and alot of them think women are inferior. Now I know I dont have to stand for that any more than any other guy would. I also love being a gentleman, opening doors, offering seats to ladies etc. Its really cool. :D

[Ryan A.]

Of all the things I have learned from this is to keep asking your-self the hard questions and to be honest with your answers to your-self.

This is something I do everytime with myself. I'm always asking myself to understand more and more about me.

It's curious to see your perception as noticing that something was different when you were younger. When I was a kid, I remember dreaming to have a moment like Mulan from Disney: be obligated (yes!) to dress as a boy and live some moments of life as one. I didn't understand why I wanted so bad to dress as a boy (but never letting leave the girl inside of me). This is the first moment that I remember as a "CD-memory".


Good question. I started to feel more confident and stronger once everything started clicking. When I thought of myself as female, I had always felt like a potential victim of men, because some men treat women badly, and alot of them think women are inferior. Now I know I dont have to stand for that any more than any other guy would. I also love being a gentleman, opening doors, offering seats to ladies etc. Its really cool. :D

What a deja-vu reading your post! I had thoughts like that when I was in-between 16 and 19, a time of my life that I hated men, because I felt I was victim of the gender-system of society (I felt inferior of men). I stopped hating men when I went to theraphy at 19 and discovered feminism. Feminism made me free of the gender-obligation of being a woman, also made me start asking those hard questions (that mistunderstood wrote).

It's interesting you said about being gentleman. I don't see "gentleman stuff" as a gentleman stuff, I love to do it as a woman. But I only start doing when I became stronger inside and stopped feeling feared of man (I'm not saying is your case - it's just my own experience). I still don't looove being a women, but I like it. But I can say that I love being bigender :D

___________

Oh another thing I could say that changed my perception of the world: human hair. I remember crying as a teenager 'cause I felt obligated to shave (and I didn't wanted to do that all the time). When I discovered feminism and started noticing my male side, I stopped shaving that much. I realised I could still feel feminine AND masculine shaving 2 times in a month. Now I don't think a hairy-woman is groos and a shaved-man is weird.

[Andy66]

What a deja-vu reading your post! I had thoughts like that when I was in-between 16 and 19, a time of my life that I hated men, because I felt I was victim of the gender-system of society (I felt inferior of men).

I never hated men in general, although there were specific men I thought were jerks. Most of my friends were boys.
I did feel like I had to be aware of my surroundings much more than men because I thought I would be virtually defenseless if I were mistreated or attacked by a jerk.
I always had power, but its hard to feel I do in girl mode.


I stopped hating men when I went to theraphy at 19 and discovered feminism. Feminism made me free of the gender-obligation of being a woman, also made me start asking those hard questions (that mistunderstood wrote).


I always felt in my heart that all humans are equal, but at the same time Im aware that there are alot of jerks who dont believe women are equal, and they have no problem behaving like predators. Also I dont do therapists. They kinda freak me out.

I went through a feminist phase, but it seemed too one sided for me.
Both women and men suffer, in different ways. I would not feel right standing up for one group and ignoring the other.


It's interesting you said about being gentleman. I don't see "gentleman stuff" as a gentleman stuff, I love to do it as a woman. But I only start doing when I became stronger inside and stopped feeling feared of man (I'm not saying is your case - it's just my own experience).

I am polite when
Im in female mode, but I think ladies react differently, and I feel different, when Im in guy mode.
Cooler somehow, more chivalrous, more confident, maybe more flirty.
;)


I still don't looove being a women, but I like it. But I can say that I love being bigender :D


I dont love having a female body either, cant really even say that I like it, but I can live with it. It is what it is.


___________

Oh another thing I could say that changed my perception of the world: human hair. I remember crying as a teenager 'cause I felt obligated to shave (and I didn't wanted to do that all the time). When I discovered feminism and started noticing my male side, I stopped shaving that much. I realised I could still feel feminine AND masculine shaving 2 times in a month. Now I don't think a hairy-woman is groos and a shaved-man is weird.

I never liked alot of hair on men or women, but Im more comfortable with it now. Men with beards always scared me, but now I like beards on some guys, as long as theyre neat and clean. I shave when I get in a mood for it, once every few months, or if Im wearing a tank top, or if theres the slightest chance I might get lucky and somebody might see my bod. :o

[Ryan A.]

Oh, sorry if it meant that way. When I said about "hate" it was more about my own experience. But the feel about the surroundings is very close of what I passed.

[Andy66]

No problem, Ryan. I was just saying how I felt from MY experience.

Sorry, Im having bad connection problems today. It took me several tries to write what I wanted to write in my last post.