Variation on a common question

[Christinedreamer]

I have posted before about my attraction to CDs/TGs who present as very feminine and not camp. On the surface, some would see this as bisexual or gay as I myself am a CD. I am curious though if anyone who feels similarly can distinguish between attraction to a CD who is technically a male and just being attracted to the PERSON without much consideration that like me, he has a penis.

I hope I made that clear. To me, the PERSON in their every aspect is physically and emotionally attractive and the fact that he is a male is secondary and not at all important. I am not overwhelmingly fascinated with genital equipment as a qualifier, but rather the WHOLE person.

Am I alone in this distinction?

[Melissa Rose]

.....just being attracted to the PERSON without much consideration that like me, he has a penis.
I hope I made that clear. To me, the PERSON in their every aspect is physically and emotionally attractive and the fact that he is a male is secondary and not at all important. I am not overwhelmingly fascinated with genital equipment as a qualifier, but rather the WHOLE person.

This is essentially the definition of pansexual or omnisexual, or being gender blind. The attraction is to the person regardless of their biological sex, thus falls outside of the typical gender binary (hetero-, homo- or bi-sexual). It may seem the same as being bi-sexual, but there is a difference. So, you are not alone in the distinction.

[missmars]

It is similar than gay attracted by masculinized female.

[suzy1]

If a CD Looks just like a real woman and is attractive then a heterosexual man is going to be aroused. Perhaps the only thing stopping him is knowing it is really a man.
Are you saying that even knowing it’s a man you would still start an intimate relationship?

If so then I don’t come cheap but give me a call sometime.:battingeyelashes:

[docrobbysherry]

I'm assuming when u say "attraction", u mean that sexually, Christine?

Because I've met many men I liked and respected. Including quite a number of CD/TG/TS's since I've been dressing.

But, sexually? Nada, nothing, zip, zero!

Have I seen CD/TS's that were sexually attractive to me? Yes. Some that were extremely fem looking. But, none that I've gotten to know. Could I get "involved" with one I got to know and liked?

Even tho I'm straight, I'm not sure!

[Christinedreamer]

I can be attracted to someone without having sexual interaction as the underlying goal. In that, I KNOW I am not alone.

[Xandra]

This is essentially the definition of pansexual or omnisexual, or being gender blind. The attraction is to the person regardless of their biological sex, thus falls outside of the typical gender binary (hetero-, homo- or bi-sexual). It may seem the same as being bi-sexual, but there is a difference. So, you are not alone in the distinction.

Thank you! Pansexual, omnisexual: that's the closest I have come to describing my sexuality.

[Wildaboutheels]

I can't really answer your question but I'll bet a certain movie might give you an excellent clue. Or two.

http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=trailer+for+the+Crying+Game&mid=9E0B271FC538982961B89E0B271FC538982961B8&view=detail&FORM=VIRE3

I personally think it should be required viewing for any male or female over 10 years old...

[Erica Marie]

This can be difficult. Everyone has their own preferences to the person they are attracted to. I myself am bisexual. I can find myself sexually attracted to pretty cd's but not at all attracted to any male in his male form. Also I could never see myself becoming involved with another cd as far as a relationship knowing that he is a male. Difficult to explain. I never met a tg before so I dont know if I ould feel comfortable in a personal relationship or not. I feel it would be easier because thay do present as a female. I hope that makes some sense. Most of the time I am confused myself.

[Alice Torn]

I have been attracted to GG's, that i have no sexual attraction to. Their face, hair? But not there body. Attracted to GG personalities, but not their look. Attracted to CD' looks, and the way they are dressed, but not sexually. I have been sexually attracted to very few people, especially lately. In younger years, sexually attracted to many GG's. What bothers me, is that i am sexually attracted some, to the lady i present as, in the mirror!

[Andy66]

This is essentially the definition of pansexual or omnisexual, or being gender blind. The attraction is to the person regardless of their biological sex, thus falls outside of the typical gender binary (hetero-, homo- or bi-sexual). It may seem the same as being bi-sexual, but there is a difference. So, you are not alone in the distinction.

Thanks, Melissa. That about describes me too. Im particularly fascinated by masculine women and feminine men. Occasionally I will see a very androgynous person who is dressed well, nice haircut or whatever, and I think to myself, thats a really good looking... um... person. :heehee: Its not easy being outside the mainstream, but it can be alot more interesting.

[Christinedreamer]

Now, if we could only come up with a general term for attraction that does NOT involve sexuality. I must be a non- sexual pansexual. I am NOT attracted to males in drab at all. However a sweet personality in an attractive package that happens to be technically male in fine for bases 1-3 but does NOT have to necessarily include home. I guess I just have my own little niche.

[Angela Campbell]

I think I can understand. I could have an attraction to a feminine appearing cd or TS with no problem as long as they looked and acted like a female. In fact I have had physical encounters with a couple of TS's but not a relationship per se. I am not at all attracted to a male presenting as a male. I am attracted to the female form and what is between the legs is not really important to me. I do not have relationships with men to tell you the truth. I have had very few male friends in my life and tend to want to spend my time only with females. I don't care if this means I am bi, pansexual or whatever, I never really thought about it much. I like who I like and that is good enough for me.

[Melissa Rose]

Now, if we could only come up with a general term for attraction that does NOT involve sexuality. I must be a non- sexual pansexual. I am NOT attracted to males in drab at all. However a sweet personality in an attractive package that happens to be technically male in fine for bases 1-3 but does NOT have to necessarily include home. I guess I just have my own little niche.

Relationships and being attracted are two different things.

The word attraction for most comes with sexual connotations so it may not be the best description (i.e., it is the wrong word to use). We do not use "attraction" to describe our bonds to family and friends. We are drawn to certain people because of their personality, charisma or some intangible quality, but not in a sexual way so the term attraction is not used in these cases either. They are intriguing, interesting, fun, engaging, etc. so we become intrigued, enthralled, enchanted, mesmerized, fascinated, etc. by them and want to be around them. This is not attraction using the standard connotative meaning of the word. But isn't friendship a form of attraction?

Bases 1-3 as I understand them are sexual unless you are Bill Clinton.

[CassandraSmith]

I've found that I'm intrigued by some others here but it's not sexual attraction. But that's just me.

[Leah Lynn]

A lot of it depends on the icing on the cupcake.

Leah

[MsJanessa]

I have posted before about my attraction to CDs/TGs who present as very feminine and not camp. On the surface, some would see this as bisexual or gay as I myself am a CD. I am curious though if anyone who feels similarly can distinguish between attraction to a CD who is technically a male and just being attracted to the PERSON without much consideration that like me, he has a penis.

I hope I made that clear. To me, the PERSON in their every aspect is physically and emotionally attractive and the fact that he is a male is secondary and not at all important. I am not overwhelmingly fascinated with genital equipment as a qualifier, but rather the WHOLE person.

Am I alone in this distinction?

No you're not alone in that distinction---I feel the same way---if you are at all familar with the gay scene, you know that TGs, CD's etc are tolerated by gay males---sometimes even liked but are usually not the object of attraction by gay males who, generally prefer more masculine lovers. So when I have an attraction to another CD, it's usually nothing to do with liking men, but liking CDs, or more pricisely, a particular CD. That said, I don't mind or take offense if someone calls me gay or bi or whatever. Some folks feel an overwhelming need to put labels on everything and every body--that's their issue and not mine. I am what I am and am not ashamed of it.

[Candice Mae]

I have no attraction to other CD's at all, for me its a GG or nothing.

[Rogina B]

It is a form of attraction as many have pointed out.In my experience,many T's play well together as they are coming "from the same playground" . This bond over comes social and financial backrounds in my observation by experience. Proof is how well people have fun together at First Event,SCC,Diva Las Vegas,etc. There is a lot of attractions going on at all these events!

[Gypsy Sam]

Melissa Rose,

The Flickr photos are very enjoyable and so sexy. Thought the wardrobe selections and photo placements are warm and inviting,and the bedroom poses get the motor humming.

[Ressie]

I have posted before about my attraction to CDs/TGs who present as very feminine and not camp. On the surface, some would see this as bisexual or gay as I myself am a CD. I am curious though if anyone who feels similarly can distinguish between attraction to a CD who is technically a male and just being attracted to the PERSON without much consideration that like me, he has a penis.

I hope I made that clear. To me, the PERSON in their every aspect is physically and emotionally attractive and the fact that he is a male is secondary and not at all important. I am not overwhelmingly fascinated with genital equipment as a qualifier, but rather the WHOLE person.

Am I alone in this distinction?

OK, so you'd still be attracted to the 'whole person' when the make up is removed and in male mode? I find CDs attractive because they look like women. I find women even more attractive because they have curves, soft skin and other physical and emotional attributes that can't be imitated. Men are attractive in their own way, but which sex organ involved (whether male or female in appearance) makes a big difference of where we're going sexually (if at all).

It sounds like you're saying you're not gay or bi, but if the attractive person comes with a penis it's OK. Genitalia is part of the package no matter what mode the person is in IMO.

[April_Ligeia]

I understand what you mean. There are some members here who, based on what they write in their posts, combined with their avatars, are extremely attractive. But it is a combination of the femme appearance and the personality that comes through their writing.

[Frédérique]

To me, the PERSON in their every aspect is physically and emotionally attractive and the fact that he is a male is secondary and not at all important. I am not overwhelmingly fascinated with genital equipment as a qualifier, but rather the WHOLE person. Am I alone in this distinction?

Yes, it’s the person, not the gender. It’s sad that in real life I never met another male who was something other than the male he was expected to be – obviously they are out there, but I never had the pleasure of bumping into one of them. There were inklings here and there, but nothing concrete. I crossdress because females either possess or exhibit those characteristics that I deem to be attractive, but males could be just as attractive if they leaned towards this WHOLE person concept you have described. You are definitely not alone…
:battingeyelashes:

[Nikki50/50]

I understand what you mean. There are some members here who, based on what they write in their posts, combined with their avatars, are extremely attractive. But it is a combination of the femme appearance and the personality that comes through their writing.

If that holds to be true...then I must swing wildly between sexy and utterly grotesque. LOL!!!

[Beverley Sims]

I quite often relate to an attractive CDer better than an attractive GG.

[flatlander_48]

If a CD Looks just like a real woman and is attractive then a heterosexual man is going to be aroused. Perhaps the only thing stopping him is knowing it is really a man.
Are you saying that even knowing it’s a man you would still start an intimate relationship?

If so then I don’t come cheap but give me a call sometime.:battingeyelashes:

Shameless self-promotion! (but it sounds like fun...)

[Brynna M]

I'm attracted to a beautiful female presentation. Chromosomes and sex organs aren't part of that initial equation. I wouldn't be upset to find that they were male.

[jenni_xx]

This is essentially the definition of pansexual or omnisexual, or being gender blind. The attraction is to the person regardless of their biological sex, thus falls outside of the typical gender binary (hetero-, homo- or bi-sexual). It may seem the same as being bi-sexual, but there is a difference. So, you are not alone in the distinction.

No it isn't. Christine has made a distinction in regards to gender, and even more specific than that, in regards to feeling a very specific attraction to a certain kind of person (namely a cd/tv who is feminine but not effeminate). That does not align, in any way whatseover, to the definition of pansexual or omnisexual, or indeed, being gender blind. The attraction is not regardless of their biological sex at all, for one simple reason - Christine talked specifically about men.

Christine, you are right - on the surface people would consider what you say as bisexual or gay feelings. But it's interesting how you rationalise it. You say "some would see this as bisexual or gay AS YOU YOURSELF am a CD". This begs the question. How do you regard yourself? Do you CD because you have such feelings, or do you have such feelings because you CD? Or, and I think this is more likely to be the case, the two are not actually intertwined at all? Or perhaps it's a bit of projection on your part. You see in other cd's (cd's who are in your own words very feminine") what you would like to see in yourself, thus the attraction isn't so much centered on them, but rather on yourself and how you want to present yourself (that is, as a very feminine cd)?

The fact that he is male is not secondary, simply because it can never be secondary. You have an attraction to cd's. By that statement alone, you are attracted to men who cd. That would be men. Not women who present themselves as male, but males who present themselves as female, and are very feminine in doing so. You stress that the "genital equipment" plays no part in your attraction, which does make me think that you are indeed projecting.

All I can say, in my own humble opinion (and it is only that, my opinion), is that you try it. And then see how it makes you feel.

[Makayla]

i put it this way to my SO, if u had of had a penis it wouldn't have changed the way i felt about u when i met u.

[cdmorganashley]

i find it fascinating that so many cds are straight!! i dont have any judgement about it but to me i am most attracted to other cd or tg identifying m2f persons then men then women... i would say this is because i prefer a versatile or submissive role, which to me i link more to my female side even if not dressed... do others link that sort of role to their female side or no?

[flatlander_48]

i find it fascinating that so many cds are straight!! i dont have any judgement about it but to me i am most attracted to other cd or tg identifying m2f persons then men then women... i would say this is because i prefer a versatile or submissive role, which to me i link more to my female side even if not dressed... do others link that sort of role to their female side or no?

I would mostly agree. I wanted that experience from a female perspective and it was stimulating. Different from what I would have guessed, but stimulating nonetheless...

[Christinedreamer]

Jenni I think you may be partially correct about my experiences. I dress because to me, it is a stress reliever. I am not the least bit passable. I enjoy being a big guy with a deep voice and treating a lady whether a GG or CD/TG/TS as a lady. Obviously I realize that there is usually male equipment down there BUT as I mentioned before, the PERSON is what attracts me. One of my oldest friends and I met when he was a female impersonator in DC. He was beautiful, genuinely feminine without being effeminate and very genteel. We were attracted to each other almost immediately. We ended up seeing each other and yes having a limited sexual relationship.
The way I looked at 'her' as a person, the genitals simply seemed like a large clitoris. (AMF, that IS what they look like) We talked a lot, cuddled, shared deep feelings and personal beliefs and fears and it was great. The sex was a very minor part of the relationship.

I guess at this point in my life, a physical sexual relationship is not something I need. I just prefer the honest companionship. I would imagine I am in the minority.

I am sure there is some level of projection onto anyone I may be attracted to but then again, the typical male side rears its ugly head so to speak and i cannot imagine myself as a CD with a man. Kind of complicated I guess.

[ThatTabooFeeling]

Someone's mind is their sexiest body part... although for me there has to be some physical attraction too. I consider myself mostly straight, but open-minded, and am attracted to other cd's if they are feminine. I could definitely sleep with another guy if he was clean, decent-looking and around my age. If he were feminized, then even better!

[PaulaQ]

We ended up seeing each other and yes having a limited sexual relationship.
The way I looked at 'her' as a person, the genitals simply seemed like a large clitoris. (AMF, that IS what they look like) We talked a lot, cuddled, shared deep feelings and personal beliefs and fears and it was great. The sex was a very minor part of the relationship.


I am not implying any type of judgement here, but this is certainly evidence that you have some bisexual tendencies. There is nothing wrong with this and it is nothing to be ashamed of, and is generally better accepted in society than your choice of attire, quite frankly. Although I think society is uncomfortable with bisexuality too - the idea we're either TOTALLY STRAIGHT or TOTALLY GAY is less threatening, because, whichever way you swing, you aren't worried that you might be one of those other ones. Whichever they are that have you worried.

Unfortunately, this idea is wrong for a lot of us. I think some degree (and the degree varies a lot) of bisexuality is a LOT more common than society likes to admit.

I don't think these labels are especially helpful, except possibly in a medical context. Everyone should just love who they love, and the rest of us need to quit worrying about it one way or the other.

edit: @Christine - I'm not trying to call you out or anything. Your relationship sounds like it was nice. I can't honestly say that under similar circumstances I would've done anything different than you did. And yes, this is all very complicated.

[Roberta Marie]

Why worry about labels? If you are attracted to someone and the feeling is mutuall, the only people that should be concerned about what's between the legs is the couple involved. Live life in you comfort zone and bee happy with who you are.

[Christinedreamer]

Paula I agree that technically I am likely to be labeled as bisexual. I have no problem at all with that. My personal distinction is that a male who looks and acts like a 'typical' male does nothing for me, much the same as a GG who is not overtly feminine in appearance of actions also does nothing for me.

[PaulaQ]

I think that there this could best be described by coordinates in a space with multiple axes. That is, if anyone would ever answer honestly, which most wouldn't. Also, its hard to incorporate fashion into biology.

Love your dress, BTW Christine, although of course I'm a straight macho manly-man! ;)