I crossdresser

[andrea lace]

Hello everyone
I thought I would write a post as to why us men find it compelling to dress/act like a woman. I understand that there is a huge spectrum of people here and all dress for different reasons. So I thought I would write down my reasons for dressing like a woman.

First I like the process or transformation that occurs when I dress (even though I look like a man in a dress).

Another part of it I guess, is I feel a deep seated need to cross dress I suppose the reward centers of the brain are stimulated once I start the process and some parts of me changing are more pleasurable than others.

For the most part applying make up is the thing for me that gives me a lot of pleasure it is also the longest part of the process and for me the most important part of the transformation that takes a lot of care and attention and even more practice to get right.
(As a man who is considered by some to be lazy I find dressing en femme takes a lot of work and the work doesn't stop once dressed as getting back to guy mode is a bit of a hassle removing what was painstakingly applied.)

I have read some posts of people that stay dressed for days at a time and some that do it only occasionally I guess I fall into the middle of that category. I try to dress for a few hours each day when the kids are at school but it seems that it takes longer to get ready so I must enjoy the process more than the end result.

For me CDing is definitely reward center stimulation and I believe my brain is wired that way. I have read posts where some identify with being partly female but for me this is not the case. I am male I have no issues with that at all. I am trying to find the reasons why and my best guess would be CDing for me is like adrenaline junkies who throw themselves out of a perfectly good plane or drug users searching for that elusive high its pleasurable and stimulating.

I am sure most out there will say don't worry about the why just do and enjoy. What I was wondering about is to reach that sensation of pleasure when I dress is it necessary to take the experience further.
As things progress and to get the same pleasurable experience will I need to take things further like going out of the house dressed etc?
I have just started my journey and I am just trying to get a handle on things.
Thanks Andrea x

[Diversity]

Thank you for sharing your post with us, Andrea. It was interesting to read things from your perspective.
All the best,
Di

[AmyGaleRT]

I liked this, Andrea. It's been said that "the fun is in the journey, not in the destination." This applies to you in the sense of your journey from male to female each time you dress, but it may also be true in the larger sense, of your journey forward in your life as a CD. This may include going out at some future point; you will figure out how far you want to take it. This is a good thing. :)

- Amy

[NicoleScott]

For the most part applying make up is the thing for me that gives me a lot of pleasure it is also the longest part of the process and for me the most important part of the transformation that takes a lot of care and attention and even more practice to get right.

I couldn't agree more. I love the process of transforming, especially making up. I take my time and enjoy every minute, As for getting it right, others may not think so, but the guy looking at the girl in the mirror thinks it's just right.

[deebra]

YES, you will take it further and further because it just gets better and better.

[Frédérique]

For me CDing is definitely reward center stimulation and I believe my brain is wired that way. I have read posts where some identify with being partly female but for me this is not the case. I am male I have no issues with that at all. I am trying to find the reasons why and my best guess would be CDing for me is like adrenaline junkies who throw themselves out of a perfectly good plane or drug users searching for that elusive high its pleasurable and stimulating.

This is a good analogy. Crossdressing makes the mundane seem extraordinary, and I seek to keep it that way by choosing the place and time to do it…:battingeyelashes:

[Robbin_Sinclair]

Hello everyone
I thought I would write a post as to why us men find it compelling to dress/act like a woman. I understand that there is a huge spectrum of people here and all dress for different reasons. So I thought I would write down my reasons for dressing like a woman.


Thanks Andrea x

Wait, wait. Do suggest anything to me. Why men find it compelling to dress/act like a women? My quick five are:
1. Because it feels good. Look at how many replies one can get from a breast sensation post. But the products are so good. Blame technology on my addition.
2. We want to be seen. So many posts in the (more somber) writing division of this university emphasize cub scouts or church group. Somebody made them dress up and, gosh darn, the thing was fun. It may start there forever or come back later. Pretty soon we have to play a role to get the part.
3. Because I want to understand what a woman or a weaker person must do to survive in our society. I want to feel like a woman because I want to lose control of the situation. Rely on my charm, looks or some other asset, non controlling.
4. Learn passive aggression. It's so much fun.
5. Learn makeup and dress. It's so much fun. That's me. xxrbbn

[Karren H]

I have never had a reason why I do this..... I just have to..... and I'm not going to make up things to try to justify it to anyone including myself.....

[Mikkigurll]

I dress because it addresses the female part of me and that's FUN!

[docrobbysherry]

I agree with u, Andrea. I'm old and have done a lot of things in my life. Traveled all over the world and seen so much. So, what is there left for me to do that can bring back that youthful enthusiasm of doing something exciting for the very first time?
Nothing is as exciting or turns me on now the way becoming a pretty female does! However, that's normally when I dress in private.

The second thing I enjoy about dressing is meeting other dressers. At conventions or going out together. It's a lot like getting together with "the boys" for a nite of drinking, dancing, and carousing! Only MUCH MORE FUN! This is a completely different experience for me than when I dress in private!

The 3rd thing is interacting with vanillas. Probably the most difficult and uncomfortable times for me. Because I can't pass, period! But, I'm trying to learn and stretch myself with those experiences.

[Trishpdxcd2]

Well in the simplest sense I do it just because it feels good, but in a more complex way probably many reasons. Dressing is very sexual for me but I don't have to have sex if that makes sense. I feel pretty when dressed and I love to feel feminine and desired. It is just as if I tap into a part of me that is very satisfying and altogether different than my everyday life. I don't want or need to tap into that all the time, but it is such a delight when I do.

[darkbeauty]

Take a deep Breath...and Tighten those Laces honey...your in the Cat House Now !

[Stephanie47]

I have to agree with Karen.



I have never had a reason why I do this..... I just have to..... and I'm not going to make up things to try to justify it to anyone including myself.....

I do not have a clue as to why I desire to dress as a woman. I did not have an older sister, female cousins or female playmates, who dressed me up. My mother did not dress me as a girl for a youthful transaction. It was impossible because I had no older sisters or female cousins. There is absolutely no clue for my desires. I've always been in the masculine world. My first foray into cross dressing was trying on my mother's nylon slips which she hung to dry in the sole bathroom of the apartment. I did like the feel. It did not ignite a desire to emulate a woman.

I guess it is possible for a young boy to have some maternal imprinting done on him because his mom always wanted a girl. Therefore, she dressed him as a girl. Grew his hair. Showered affection on his as a girl, and, rejected him when he wanted to be a boy. At least that makes some sense.

Most of what I see posted always deals with the joy, serenity, peace, stress relief cross dressing brings. Some say it is sexual relief. To me that justifies the continuation of the desire to cross dress. It does not explain the initial urge, the cause of action, which makes a man want to go against societal norms and expectations.

I can understand the necessity of spending many hours preening oneself for the 'look.' Yes, it is part of the process. It still does not answer the why of the initial cause that ignited the desire to emulate a woman.

Today, I am fully en femme, sans makeup, battling an onset of moisture ants that have appeared on the kitchen counter. That is hardly a stimulus to be en femme. I feel totally relaxed fighting this latest battle of domestic chores. It does not answer the reason I feel totally comfortable emulating a woman fighting the terrible ants?

[Julie Denier]

First I like the process or transformation that occurs when I dress (even though I look like a man in a dress).

Another part of it I guess, is I feel a deep seated need to cross dress I suppose the reward centers of the brain are stimulated once I start the process and some parts of me changing are more pleasurable than others.

For the most part applying make up is the thing for me that gives me a lot of pleasure it is also the longest part of the process and for me the most important part of the transformation that takes a lot of care and attention and even more practice to get right.
(As a man who is considered by some to be lazy I find dressing en femme takes a lot of work and the work doesn't stop once dressed as getting back to guy mode is a bit of a hassle removing what was painstakingly applied.)



I can totally identify with this. Thanks, Andrea ;)

[Beverley Sims]

Progression does not happen over night.
It starts with lots of preparation and a short time dressed then it's all over till next time.
It is an opportunistic thing too, getting the house to yourself for short periods and then quickly changing back, sometimes nearly getting caught as well.
Months or even a couple of years later you ma walk out the door.

[Laura28]

Nicole, i cound have said it better, that is excatly how i feel when dressing.


"I couldn't agree more. I love the process of transforming, especially making up. I take my time and enjoy every minute, As for getting it right, others may not think so, but the guy looking at the girl in the mirror thinks it's just right."

[AllieSF]

I also agree with Karren. I have no idea as to what is the "real" reason that I dress. However, I can say that I like what I look like when completed and am amazed how much I can change. I like the role playing and taking that role out into the real world to meet and interact with others. I like the excitement and feeling of accomplishment that I get doing this and never getting any serious negative reactions. As to enjoying the trip as much as the destination, i.e. the transformation process, I really do not get a kick out of that. To me it is just that, a specific process that I am trying to make shorter and quicker while at the same time improving the final result. One last thing, this new alternate and part time life style is occupying a very large part of my life right now, impacting, both positively and negatively, my life and I wish that I could start balancing out my life better to eliminate the negative impacts.

[andrea lace]

Thanks for all your comments.
Andrea is taking off say to speak I now have a few outfits and loads of make up. I can see this being an expensive hobby/compulsion.

[nhlighthouse]

I FEEL THE SAME WAY Just love the tightness that panties and pantyhose gives me! I think and know that the process is part of the trip...the feel of silk,nylon and other fabric excites me to no end I am sure it is the same for other Cders. No one gets hurt in the process and it is amazing on how GREAT it FEELS!

[nhlighthouse]

I would love to chat with you girls on CDing even more But I must start somewhere! Can anyone please help me?

[Maria S]

Thanks for all your comments. Andrea is taking off say to speak I now have a few outfits and loads of make up. I can see this being an expensive hobby/compulsion.

Yes CDing is not a cheap hobby but well worth it. It is almost like keeping an extra member of the family. When I read some of the posts it often amazes me how much some must be spending.

Maria

[Lorileah]

I would love to chat with you girls on CDing even more But I must start somewhere! Can anyone please help me?

Keep posting until you get 10 posts, then you can start sending PM's. welcome to the forum

[carhill2mn]

Your post would apply to many of us here. As you have probably discovered, there is no "one size fits all" description of us who are on this forum.

[kimdl93]

Everyone has their own take on this, it seems. For me dressing is entirely a means to an end, with the end for me bing th,person I want,to be. I am dressed and ready,to begin my day in forty five minutes tops!

[busker]

[QUOTE=Stephanie47;3110757]

"I guess it is possible for a young boy to have some maternal imprinting done on him because his mom always wanted a girl. Therefore, she dressed him as a girl. Grew his hair. Showered affection on his as a girl, and, rejected him when he wanted to be a boy. At least that makes some sense."

Stephanie, this would fall under Lamarck's ideas of evolution and it has been discredited. The offspring don't develop based on something that affects the parent that is not genetic in origin. Because a mother hopes for a daughter doesn't turn a male into a CD. This idea does come up quite often though.
With the world-wide distribution of men who cross dress, this is most likely chemical in origin. We are sort of the "side effects" of nature's chem-lab. It is interesting to think about that a lot of prescription medications have side effects that effect about 1% of the users. It would also seem that there are about 1% of the male population that are CDs (as a rough guessitamate) and about 5% that are gay--side effects of nature's prescription drug? Who knows for certain, but science could find out with a little blood work.


ps Imprinting doesn't last forever. Read Konrad Lorenz: King Solomon's Ring. Lorenz first coined the term in his work with birds.

[SandraInHose]

Count me as another who basically agrees with the OP...I am fine with being a man, and don't really have the desire to become a woman. For me, the clothes, etc, give me a feeling inside that I really can't describe, all I know is it makes me feel good and I enjoy it. Kind of between 'peacefulness' and 'excitement'...yeah, I know that is like total opposites, but I'm sure some of you can relate.

[Soriya]

What I was wondering about is to reach that sensation of pleasure when I dress is it necessary to take the experience further.
As things progress and to get the same pleasurable experience will I need to take things further like going out of the house dressed etc?
I have just started my journey and I am just trying to get a handle on things.
Thanks Andrea x

Hiya Andrea, thank you for the insightful post as you sound a lot like me with the way you think. I believe what you describe is exactly the case for most of, how it's like a drug or adrenaline junky who eventually searches for the next 'high' when their current activity starts to dwindle in it's current effect. Not the same as a drug addict per say as their is a physical addiction added to the mix in those cases but still, the process of a CD is similar IMO.

The question is why is it crossdressing becomes the 'drug of choice' per say? Please don't misunderstand the use of 'drug of choice' as a bad thing as that is not my intention. Why do we get the 'urge' to dress for stimulation? What is the hidden element(s) creating the urge in the first place?

That is the most confusing question of all for us and the reason a lot of us say "I gave up trying to figure it out and just go with it" IMO. We all have the answer ourselves already but it takes a lot of hard work and going through a lot of painful memories from our pasts to figure it out which is easily enough to deter someone from going deeper.

Most just want to feel good. :)

[Wildaboutheels]

"What I was wondering about is to reach that sensation of pleasure when I dress is it necessary to take the experience further.
As things progress and to get the same pleasurable experience will I need to take things further like going out of the house dressed etc?
I have just started my journey and I am just trying to get a handle on things.
Thanks Andrea x "

You seem worried or concerned Andrea. Little wonder given that the above thought process ^^^ is one of the many common Forum MYTHS. [I am guessing you have read it mumerous times in the short time you have been here?] That we are ALL on a journey and we have no idea where we will be down the road a month or a year from now. And that we are ALL always going to want more, more, more. Or that we ALL want or need our SO to participate. Some of the silly people here will even tell you that there is a right way and a wrong way to CD...

I would not worry about the future. When the time comes YOU will know if you want or NEED to leave your house "dressed". When or IF that time comes, don't "let Mean Ol' Society" be your excuse to stay locked in the closet. Another Forum MYTH and possibly the biggest one of all.

[nhlighthouse]

SAndra....Bang!!!! you hit the nail on the head ...It is a great feeling inside of you and me and others that we just don't want to part with...you go girl!
PS Today is my FIRST for underdressing YA HOO!
Just got back from clothes sshopping...can't wait to try everything on ...so far so good out of the house with underwear on !

[Melanie Sykes]

I do it for pretty much the same reasons as you Andrea. Because it's a blast!

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Andrea, It's very simple , It's who I am and it' what I do !!

[Polly R]

There have been many replies to this post so far and I have to say, I can agree with most of the sentiments expressed. After nearly 40 years, I still don't know the answer as to why I crossdress!! It just seems right to express some internal desire to emulate a woman - I definitely have a feminine side to my nature. Perhaps one answer may have given a clue: 'I guess it is possible for a young boy to have some maternal imprinting done on him because his mom always wanted a girl.' - Yes, my Mum was one of a family of sisters and all of them only produced boys. My Mum was the youngest and she, the next older sister DEFINITELY were disappointed by only producing boys.

Perhaps the first hint of my future CD activities came at about 10 yrs old when I joined the local amateur dramatic society. Getting dressed up as someone else (male roles I should add) and then having makeup applied was certainly an interesting experience.

It was years later that true CD activities started and it just grew until I fully transformed. I change to a more softer and calmer person as many have also stated. I've no intention of going for hormones or SRS, I like too many things about my male persona but do like to transform to a classy lady from time to time. My SO helps me to choose nice clothes and makes suggestions about makeup etc so I'm one of the lucky ones.

That's my take on it.

xx Polly

[nhlighthouse]

Well ANDREA today is day two(2) for me underdressing and just the thought knowing that I will be wearing female underwear is exciting even before putting them on! Today I will step it up bit, "walk before you run" maybe a sport bar along with a white LACED thong along with Cupid Valentine's silk boxer short over them. The feeling I and others recieve is priceless and a form of a female surrounding you with affection. The bar will provide a artifical embrace like a HUG would provide. Just my take on it , does anyone agree or feel the same as I do?

[Amanda M]

For me, I think, it is both a form of escapism and a search for tranquility. Some times I feel I simply must get away from the pressures of other peoples mental health concerns completely, and I have found that the process of dressing initiates a real change in perspective and self perception. It feels comfortable, relaxing fulfilling and self nurturing - something we all need.

One of our posters has suggested that the Lamarckian approach has been proven completely wrong, and while agree that imprinting is certainly not permanent, that is only a part of the issue. To deny environmental and parental influences on the formation of character is, I suspect, naive at best.

[RitaCD]

After a few sessions with counselors and many years of self-analysis I have given up on trying to figure out why I like to cross dress. For many years it was just a few items of clothing for quick cd sessions (for lack of a better word). I have quit (purged) too many times to count and lost too many pretty clothes in the process. So I have resolved to quit purging for good. In fact, Rita's wardrobe has overtaken the closet and dressers and now some of his stuff will have to go. I still like my male side and his interests and activities, but I truly enjoy my feminine side and look forward to being Rita. The transformation to Rita is just ... :daydreaming:

[NicoleScott]

One of our posters has suggested that the Lamarckian approach has been proven completely wrong, and while agree that imprinting is certainly not permanent, that is only a part of the issue. To deny environmental and parental influences on the formation of character is, I suspect, naive at best.

Lamarck's theory was that acquired characteristics could be inherited. If a person, for example, worked out in the gym and developed large muscles, his/her offspring would tend to have large muscles. That sounds silly to us now, but not in Lamarck's time. So if a boy was raised to be feminine, using various influences, his son would tend to be feminine as well (according to Lamarck's theory).

[nhlighthouse]

Wow... I couldn't have said it any better...It is a escape and no one gets hurt in the process.Day two for me was great knee highs and bra all day long along with a Laced Thong! Oh what a feeling! Friday Pantyhose and silk panties!along with sports bra!

[Barbara Maria]

Hi,Andrea. Like you I've just started my journey though the woman inside me has wanted to come out for years. I can't explain it,but since I've been dressing,I feel like a new woman. All I know is when I'm Barbara and look in the mirror,I don't see that ugly old man any more.I see a vital,middle aged woman. I feel pretty and alive,and happier than I have in years. I don't fully understand it,I just go with it.

[Jenny Gurl]

I don't know if I will ever know the actual part of my DNA that is responsible for my feminine attributes, but what a wonderful world it would be if every human had them. Native Americans called it "two spirits" because it was a person who could understand both genders because they were two people in one body. I do know it was not a choice, it was not impression by anyone dressing me as a child. My mother always wanted a girl, but this would only come into play if her deep desires would have changed her chemistry while I was being created, however that might have effected the result of my mental makeup. I was raised completely as a boy, but I knew from a very young age that I liked feminine things. I could tell mom was taken aback by a few early childhood questions. I remember asking why boys couldn't wear pantyhose, and getting the answer that they gave us the chance a long time ago but we turned it down. :lol:

We may never know why we have these desires, but the overwhelming number of honest CD's have spoken. It is not a choice, no matter how many in the non CD population think it is, they have not been down this road. Most of this is due to rigid religious thinking, and maybe the fear that if it is out of our control then ....Gasp..... one of their children might be born a CD, Gay, etc.

Karen said it very well. Once we understand the nature of our mental makeup, we can stop torturing ourselves and live and enjoy life. This web site has been a treasure of real information for me. I now know these things beyond a shadow of a doubt so I don't have to drive myself crazy constantly second guessing if what I do is a crime, a sin, or something that needs fixed. I now know that I am not the only person on the planet that was not born to be "Gender Restricted" (did I just make up a new term?) I'll shave what I want, wear what I want, and go where I want, baring realistic safety concerns.

Until I found this site, it seems the whole world hated our kind and it made me second guess if I was some kind of freak who should live in shame. Now I live by the motto of Red in "Shawshank Redemption". Get busy living, or get busy dieing. I have a lot of living to do, and I'm not going to waste another day.




I am not blind

[Robbin_Sinclair]

I FEEL THE SAME WAY Just love the tightness that panties and pantyhose gives me! I think and know that the process is part of the trip...the feel of silk,nylon and other fabric excites me to no end I am sure it is the same for other Cders. No one gets hurt in the process and it is amazing on how GREAT it FEELS!

nhlighthouse -- when you posted this I said to myself, this girl said it all for me. She's got it together. I wish I could say that about myself. Then, the next post asks for help. And the next post says wait until you have 10 messages to sent a PM (private message). And it appears you have 13. It's all so confusing. But, how GREAT it FEELS.

All I know about myself this morning (before coffee) is that I have my outfits, my make up, my (medically prescribed) black panty hose and, if I want to, I can look and feel like a woman. If I am alone I can do chores around the house as a woman. I am quite confident (unlike the Robbin of three months ago) that I can never really fool anyone else. And I could never to this in front of my wife.

Good luck finding solace from others. This site can help, so much. My best, nhlighthouse

[Robbin_Sinclair]

Hi,Andrea. Like you I've just started my journey though the woman inside me has wanted to come out for years. I can't explain it,but since I've been dressing,I feel like a new woman. All I know is when I'm Barbara and look in the mirror,I don't see that ugly old man any more.I see a vital,middle aged woman. I feel pretty and alive,and happier than I have in years. I don't fully understand it,I just go with it.

This is another post that I so identify with. The ugly old man who has a pretty dress, hose and lovely feminine eyes. Ah, solace.

Re: Discovery of Femininity: One thing that I have never written about is a bit of a different twist. I have a stepdaughter in the house who is just starting to discover her own sexuality. Moreso, she questions things quite intelligently LGBT issues and how they relate to bullying in school.

This odd for me because I feel that we are on parallel paths --both discovering something new to us.

Other than being the voice of tolerance and understanding when asked, I remain in the role of the stable stepfather in the home. Her mother makes all decisions regarding child raising. My only asset to this family unit is to keep the house, car and garden in perfect running order. Such a life.

Perhaps, I should take this topic to the Writer's Forum.

[Jaymees22]

I started this journey looking for something sexual and found something better "Myself" a much happier self. Jaymee

[nhlighthouse]

so beautifully said...I feel the same way. I haven't got to wearing the clothes over the underwear yet and my SO still doesn't know . I was thinking of telling her this weekend seeing that there is a extra day in it! What your take?

[nhlighthouse]

Well I took that HUGE step today and told my SO about my desires about wearing and dressing in womens clothes....and God Bless her she was so supported and understood of how it was affecting me by holding it all in me. I was on edge when talking to her and she didn't deserve to be on the receiving end of my fustration. Now she has given me the green light to bring my clothes in the house a separate laundry bag for my undies or tighty whitys . Can a gurl ask for anything more? Right now I just slipped into a danskin hooded top and sending out the news of the day to all you Gurls...Nylons & Heels from Mychelle.

so beautifully said...I feel the same way. I haven't got to wearing the clothes over the underwear yet and my SO still doesn't know . I was thinking of telling her this weekend seeing that there is a extra day in it! What your take?

[nhlighthouse]

well robbin...I took my steps Sunday after telling my wife about my wants and desires about wearing womens clothes...went especially well and she is understanding and supportive in my journey. Now that I don't sneak around wearing under garments it really has kinda lost the sparkle that the underhand way of getting away with something almost like a complusive shoplifter trying to see what they can get away with ...Any takers on this view? Hey gurls thanks for being there and all the support! ...Mychelle!
PS it is so relaxing know ing that if I want to put on some say stretch pants with a spandex hood top and acceriosys I just do it Last night I slept in a Nylon night gown right along side my wife and I tell you "OH WHAT A FEELING" I love my wife even more n ow knowing what women have to go to make them selves just right for you...what an education...Looking for FEEDBACK

[JocelynJames]

have been out to my s/o for just over a year. i have known for 30 years i liked to dress. it's a rush and a calm all at the same time.