Different type of attraction question. Gay or not gay?

[Briana90802]

Well there's so much talk on here about having sexual feeling for men while dressed as a girl and if that means you're gay blah blah blah...

What if you have attractions towards other TG people and CDer? Any feelings on the subject from those that feel the same? Or have opinions?

[MsRenee]

Id have to say Not Gay.
Even wen Im dresses up I have no urge to be intimate with a guy. Friends yes but thats were I draw the line.
When my girl and I are out and we get a rude comment about who does who, she will stand up and tell them Im her "lesbian" and you can go piss off.
Shes is not afraid to stand up for me and thats Awesome!!!!!
Renee

[whowhatwhen]

If you're a man being gay or bi is pretty much defined as being attracted to the physical features of men, so unless you find male-mode Mc Mannerson attractive then you're probably not gay.
Though if the attraction is partly because of Long Dong Silver then I wouldn't call myself 100% straight either.
:P

[Megan Thomas]

For me it's straightforward - Gender and sexuality are two entirely different things. I have always had zero interest in men. I've often been asked if being on oestrogen has made me feel attracted to men, and the answer in my case is again NO.

[April_Ligeia]

I feel attracted to some tg people. In my case, though, it is a harmless fantasy type of attraction to someone on line based on a photo, or a post, or both. I don't know how far the attraction would go in real life, especially since I'm not attracted to male plumbing. It is fun to imagine, though.

[Jenniferathome]

I live in a pragmatic world. If you have a penis and the person to whom you are attracted has a penis, that is "gay." You may be bisexual if you also have sexual attraction to women.

Now, there is the rare case where someone is transgender and sexually attracted to men. To me, that is still "gay" as there are two penises involved. To that rare person, it may be different in their psyche.

[famousunknown]

I live in a pragmatic world. If you have a penis and the person to whom you are attracted has a penis, that is "gay."

----------> I agree 100%.

[docrobbysherry]

I'm sure Brianna. They call guys who r attracted to big women, chubby chasers.

Men who r attracted to CDs, admirers.

Maybe we need a term for CDs attracted to other dressers? Something like, CD, CDs?

Anyone got a suggestion?

[darla_g]

Well there's so much talk on here about having sexual feeling for men while dressed as a girl and if that means you're gay blah blah blah...

What if you have attractions towards other TG people and CDer? Any feelings on the subject from those that feel the same? Or have opinions?

Briana, why the preoccupation with this question? Isn't this basically the same question you asked before? http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?184699-Straight-CD-vs-gay-CD-question&highlight= which is still an open thread BTW......

or this one which asks the same question and is still open : http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?189446-CD-and-sexuality.&highlight=sexual

just don't know why we need another one, kind of feel we are being overwhelmed with this topic. Some people are and some aren't gay. Who cares? Can't we just give it a rest?

[Kate Simmons]

I dunno Hon. I feel attracted to and love a lot of people. That doesn't necessarily mean I want to be intimate with them. Friendship goes pretty deep sometimes as a for instance.:)

[Lorileah]

Darla, I am sure there are many others like that too. It is one of the top five questions. And never resolved

[darla_g]

I know Lorileah and maybe its the fact I've been here over 5 years and have seen this exact question almost a hundred times. Nothing to ever resolve, either you have those feelings or not. It just seems so overplayed....and no one ever uses search....

and here are more that are still open of similar topic and still open :
http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?181103-Has-your-quot-bi-ness-quot-evolved&highlight=bisexual
http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?184721-Sexuality&highlight=bisexual
http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?183018-I-am-really-starting-to-be-more-and-more-attracted-to-passable-CD-amp-TG.-am-I-bi&highlight=bisexual
http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?182555-Just-a-cd-or-a-Bi&highlight=bisexual

[whowhatwhen]

I am dressed when gay, not the gay gay but the other gay gay.

[LilSissyStevie]

It's interesting that we feel the need to form "identities" around the things that arouse us sexually. We don't do that for most other things. For example, we don't feel the need to go around identifying ourselves as "pancake lovers" and "non-pancake lovers." We don't have endless arguments about whether people who like crepes are really pancake lovers "in denial." We don't feel a need to justify liking or disliking pancakes by genetic programming even though there may be a genetic component for why pancakes taste good to some people and not to others. The fact is that even pancake lovers vary widely in their tastes. Some like plate sized whole wheat pancakes with gobs of butter and maple syrup and some like those little silver dollar kind with blueberry syrup but as a side dish and not as the main course. Some only like a few pancakes once in a great while and would never identify as a true pancake lover.

To my way of thinking a TG attracted to another TG is neither gay, bi or straight. It's something else. A guy attracted to a TG is something else. A girl attracted to a TG is something else again. The possibilities are endless and we don't have to try to stuff every combination into one the three boxes: gay, bi or straight. Those are "identities" and political categories that don't really exist in objective reality.

BTW, I thought Jessica Rabbit was kind of sexy. What does that make me? She's not a woman, she's a freaking cartoon!

[Erica Marie]

I am attracted to other cd's and tg's. But I have no attraction to genetic males in male form. I am bisexual and enjoy spending special time with other cd's if we have a connection, but it is completely physical attraction. I dont think I would ever be emotionally connected to another cd or genetic male. I know sounds kind of confusing.

[kellycan27]

[QUOTE=darla_g;3111893]I know Lorileah and maybe its the fact I've been here over 5 years and have seen this exact question almost a hundred times. Nothing to ever resolve, either you have those feelings or not. It just seems so overplayed....and no one ever uses search....

and here are more that are still open of similar topic and still open :
http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?181103-Has-your-quot-bi-ness-quot-evolved&highlight=bisexual
http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?184721-Sexuality&highlight=bisexual
http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?183018-I-am-really-starting-to-be-more-and-more-attracted-to-passable-CD-amp-TG.-am-I-bi&highlight=bisexual
http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?182555-Just-a-cd-or-a-Bi&highlight=bisexual[/

If I was sitting on a hot rock and it was burning my butt I wouldn't just sit there and complain... I'd get up and move away..... problem solved! :eek:

[NicoleScott]

I live in a pragmatic world. If you have a penis and the person to whom you are attracted has a penis, that is "gay."

It gets a little more complicated when that person you're attracted to has a penis, but you don't know it because he appears to be beautiful woman. A lot of us here love the look of a beautiful woman, even if a CDer. As April said (post #5), it's harmless fantasy. Many of us allow that fantasy to run on, imagining some sort of romantic encounter with someone who is taken with how we look. It's a sort of self-validating thing: doing a great job transforming that men find you attractive. But, for me anyway, the fantasy comes to a screeching halt when it gets sexual. It's nice to be admired and thought of as attractive, but that shouldn't label a fantasizer as gay. Now, if one is attracted to that penis, or to that person because he has a penis, that's another story. But in a pragmatic world, where everything is real, I see your point.

[darla_g]

[QUOTE=darla_g;3111893]

If I was sitting on a hot rock and it was burning my butt I wouldn't just sit there and complain... I'd get up and move away..... problem solved! :eek:
oh its not burning my butt, its more of an observation than anything that it becomes a preoccupation for some people.

Its just that if being gay or lesbian is EVER going to be truly accepted in this society then we have to STOP making a big deal over it.

[famousunknown]

It gets a little more complicated when that person you're attracted to has a penis, but you don't know it because he appears to be beautiful woman.

Ummm, not really. Because you know there's still a penis under that skirt or dress.

[Julogden]

I live in a pragmatic world. If you have a penis and the person to whom you are attracted has a penis, that is "gay." You may be bisexual if you also have sexual attraction to women.


I disagree 100%, but so what? it doesn't matter, really. ;)

What one has between the legs doesn't determine gender identity, it defines genetic sex, and I feel that being attracted to someone because of their gender identity is an equally accurate indicator of sexual identity.

But really, this is sort of a pointless question to discuss here, IMO. Anyone who has been around the community for any amount of time knows that there's no way that we're all going to agree on this, so why bother? It really doesn't matter unless one has issues with living in accordance with one religion or another that tries to control sexual behavior and gender expression. If one lives in a part of the world where you can be imprisoned or executed for being gay, lesbian or bisexual, it's certainly an issue.

For anyone else, like whoever you want to like, it's perfectly okay.

Carol

[whowhatwhen]

Ummm, not really. Because you know there's still a penis under that skirt or dress.

Gay men like men who look like men.
While I'd hesitate to call someone whose dreaming of ladyboners 100% straight, the thing is if they're not attracted to the natural male image then they simply aren't gay.

[kellycan27]

Gay men like men who look like men.
While I'd hesitate to call someone whose dreaming of ladyboners 100% straight, the thing is if they're not attracted to the natural male image then they simply aren't gay.


Some gay men like to dress up like girls and have sex with other gay guys who like gay guys who dress like girls..
Some straight guys like to dress up like girls and have sex with gay guys.. Since they're dressed as girls.... It's not gay.
Some guys profess their straightness with such vigor that sometimes I wonder if they are trying to convince us or themselves.

[famousunknown]

Some guys profess their straightness which such vigor that sometimes I wonder if they are trying to convince us or themselves.

---> Exactly...

[andrea lace]

Lets put this as simple as I can if you are attracted to a member of the same sex then you have homosexual tendancies and are more than likely gay. If you are attracted to both male and females and find both sexually attractive then you are bi-sexual.What goes on in your head is simply fantasy and its only when you act on those fantasies that you become bi if you sleep with both men and women. Gay if you just sleep with just men. And a total wreck if you like to dress in women's clothing and make up :D

[Melissa Rose]

Yikes, another definitions and label discussion.

As long as the sex is totally consensual, no one is being harmed and no laws are being broken, who cares what it is called and what definition is being used. Most definitions can be twisted to fit anyone's desired interpretation anyway. It is often used to confirm, rationalize or excuse behaviors and beliefs. We are overrun with lawyers because we cannot agree on the meanings of words and phrases in every day life so something as nebulous as sexuality and gender is only worse. Whether a co-worker, friend, dinner companion and date claims he is straight, gay or some funky combination of his own choosing matters little to me. I am what I am and they are what they are......

[CassandraSmith]

Attraction to a picture of a CDer isn't attraction to me. I've done enough dating on the Internet to know that anything virtual has no bearing on real life. That's why it's a bad idea to write back and forth for months and postpone meeting. Usually the people finally meet and instantly realize there's nothing there.

Attraction requires being in the physical presence of someone. You are responding to their physicality, their countenance, their mannerisms, and their words. Your body goes nuts. It's completely involuntary. Your head starts turning to look at them and then back. Your stomach gets butterflies. Your blood pressure goes up. You get warm. Etc. Etc. That's real attraction. It also needs to go away or better, be put away quickly if the other person is obviously not attracted to you. On the other hand, if all the signs are there and they are responsive, now you have the makings of a possible great first date.

And remember, the purpose of a first date is to determine if you want to go on a second date. Nothing more. Make it short and sweet because it's in the time in between the date that two people actually fall for each other, not on the date itself. That's the difference between infatuation and real love.

This virtual world stuff is all fantasy. Thinking that you are attracted to someone from a picture should be instantly suspect as simply triggering your inner idealized woman (or man).

[Badtranny]

Some guys profess their straightness with such vigor that sometimes I wonder if they are trying to convince us or themselves.

What!? That's ludicrous. I'm totally straight and I would kick your ass if you tried to suggest anything otherwise to my face.

I'm just a straight guy who likes to dress up like a woman sometimes and pretend my name is Amy. There's nothing wrong with that! It does not mean I'm not a real man and would kick your ass if you wanted to test it. It's all just for fun, it doesn't mean anything that I like to hang out with other men who dress as women and call each other girlfriend and stuff. It's relaxing to let all the man stress go and just play dress up and talk about shopping and panties. Sometimes we fool around a little, so what? It doesn't mean we're gay, because when we're dressed up we're not really men anymore. Our bodies are totally shaved and perfumed so we're really a lot more like women than men, so who could blame us for getting aroused? What straight man doesn't get aroused at the site of a sexy woman?

If I was gay, then men dressed as women would NOT arouse me right? I'm a straight man who likes to dress up and have sex with other straight men who are dressed as women. What is so hard to understand about that?


****Those who know me know that this is such obvious satire that it hardly requires stating, but I feel like I should anyway****

[kellycan27]

What!? That's ludicrous. I'm totally straight and I would kick your ass if you tried to suggest anything otherwise to my face.

I'm just a straight guy who likes to dress up like a woman sometimes and pretend my name is Amy. There's nothing wrong with that! It does not mean I'm not a real man and would kick your ass if you wanted to test it. It's all just for fun, it doesn't mean anything that I like to hang out with other men who dress as women and call each other girlfriend and stuff. It's relaxing to let all the man stress go and just play dress up and talk about shopping and panties. Sometimes we fool around a little, so what? It doesn't mean we're gay, because when we're dressed up we're not really men anymore. Our bodies are totally shaved and perfumed so we're really a lot more like women than men, so who could blame us for getting aroused? What straight man doesn't get aroused at the site of a sexy woman?

If I was gay, then men dressed as women would NOT arouse me right? I'm a straight man who likes to dress up and have sex with other straight men who are dressed as women. What is so hard to understand about that?

Please don't kick my ass... It's all good!

[Melissa Rose]

What!? That's ludicrous. I'm totally straight and I would kick your ass if you tried to suggest anything otherwise to my face.

That is why I only talk behind your back.
You are about as straight as Smudge's rear leg (sorry folks, inside information joke, Smudge is Melissa's dog).

This topic reminds me of a song by the Gin Blossoms called Cheatin'. "You can't call it cheatin', she reminds me of you"

[MsJanessa]

I live in a pragmatic world. If you have a penis and the person to whom you are attracted has a penis, that is "gay." You may be bisexual if you also have sexual attraction to women.

Now, there is the rare case where someone is transgender and sexually attracted to men. To me, that is still "gay" as there are two penises involved. To that rare person, it may be different in their psyche.

I stopped putting labels on my (and other people's) sexuality a long time ago--My main attraction is to other TGs and CD's as well as GGs and on rare occasions a guy---I don't know or care if "it makes me gay"(or bi)---but I do know it makes me happy.

[Angie G]

Not gay I only have eyes for my beautiful wive of almost 45 years.:hugs:
Angie

[Frédérique]

What if you have attractions towards other TG people and CDer? Any feelings on the subject from those that feel the same? Or have opinions?

I find transgendered people to be highly attractive. Anyone who is ignoring gender boundaries looks very beautiful to me! While growing up I was attracted to anyone who was the least bit out of the ordinary, regardless of their birth gender – it was more like finding a truly interesting person, and not being drawn towards perversion for its own perverse sake. Other MtF crossdressers intrigue me no end, which may explain why I’m on this site. I mean, if I’m going to be continually chastised by the unadventurous souls out there, I would prefer to have some company…
:battingeyelashes:

[Nikki50/50]

I stated something similar in another post, that I feel compelled to reiterate here: Gay is a comfort zone within the parameters of attraction. Gay is a label name that society as a whole has created in order to sub-categotize sexuality...and for what? Atrraction does not, has not ever, and will not acknowledge gender as a requirement to manifest in a person.
How each individual guides the attraction, is another story entirely, defined by a whole system of different yet integrated comfort zones within any given person's psyche.

[CassandraSmith]

What!? That's ludicrous. I'm totally straight and I would kick your ass if you tried to suggest anything otherwise to my face.

C-C-Catfight!?!

http://skunkbears.files.wordpress.com/2009/11/kramer.jpg

[Beverley Sims]

What!? That's ludicrous. I'm totally straight and I would kick your ass if you tried to suggest anything otherwise to my face.


Melissa I will admit to the whole statement posted.
If more realised it they would not have their finger up their posterior.
There is another name for that but my mum wont let me use it in this context.

[whowhatwhen]

C-C-Catfight!?!

http://skunkbears.files.wordpress.com/2009/11/kramer.jpg

Quick!
Someone dress up as Raquel Welsh!

[Gena Gurl]

I know that people will get pissed off at me and go into the scientific deffenitions of Gay and Bi and such and all the statistics of gay vs. straight CDs. As far as I am concerned if you like a man as man or a Cd and have sexual relationsthat makes you Gay in my book, just saying. After all a man in a dress is still a man no matter how beautiful and feminine.
This said I am not a homophobe anti gay or bi just come clean and call an ace an ace and don't re-hash that you are streight, but....... I know this is not a popular view and I know it!

[paulaprimo]

i have absolutely no interest or physical attraction to other cd'ers. when i am out in femme mode i am totally straight and only want men...lol :D

[GroovyChristy]

I look for femininity, or at least androgyny in a partner. Outright masculinity is the only thing I'm really not attracted to. My partner could be a male, female, CD, TG, whatever, as long as they have some femininity and are comfortable with my femininity. I don't know if that makes me gay, bi, pansexual, or what, but whatever I am, I know that there is plenty of room for me and for all of us "deviants" under the rainbow flag. :)

[Ressie]

Gay men like men who look like men.
While I'd hesitate to call someone whose dreaming of ladyboners 100% straight, the thing is if they're not attracted to the natural male image then they simply aren't gay.

So 'gay' is a certain type of homosexual whereas a crossdresser that has sex with other crossdressers is another type of homosexual, but not gay. But both are homosexual or at least bisexual right?

[melissakozak]

ok. I'm attracted to gorgeous people.....quick, am I gay? No. Bi, yes......

[kellycan27]

[QUOTE=kellycan27;3111930]
oh its not burning my butt, its more of an observation than anything that it becomes a preoccupation for some people.

Its just that if being gay or lesbian is EVER going to be truly accepted in this society then we have to STOP making a big deal over it.


Simply not talking about it won't make it go away.

[flatlander_48]

Darla, I am sure there are many others like that too. It is one of the top five questions. And never resolved

Yes, and I doubt if it will ever get resolved. Everyone's situation is just a bit different. When your progression is from crossdressing to being confronted with gay or bisexual thoughts, it's natural for people to think it is linked with crossdressing. However, I believe it isn't. All crossdressing did was punch a hole in the polar ice cap so the submarine could surface, metaphorically speaking. The tendency was always there; just suppressed. And some of us suppress better than others.

In a way I feel very fortunate. Since I came here as a bisexual, I was never plagued with this particular set of worries and confusion. But not to worry. My other issues MORE than make up for this...

[flatlander_48]

I find transgendered people to be highly attractive. Anyone who is ignoring gender boundaries looks very beautiful to me! While growing up I was attracted to anyone who was the least bit out of the ordinary, regardless of their birth gender – it was more like finding a truly interesting person, and not being drawn towards perversion for its own perverse sake.

Yes, but...

For me, it goes beyond that. I have always sought out unusual people and there is a tendency for unusual people to gravitate towards me. It could be how they present, but it could also be what they do, what they are interested in, where they've been, what their cultural background is, etc. etc.

Many years ago, Microsoft had a contest for grade school aged kids. What you had to do was complete the sentence:

"The most powerful computer in the world would let me...."

The winning answer, and something that continues to move me whenever I think about it was:

"The most powerful computer in the world would let me...." "...see the world through someone else's eyes."

Perhaps with all of the different people that I have known from all over the world from working in different countries, rich and poor, LGBT, former guerrilla fighters, etc. maybe that's what I'm trying to do.

[Jessica86]

I stick to the books. A cross dresser is a guy...unless you like women who dress as men. If you are a male who likes another male.....to me you are gay. Being attracted to a cross dresser.....knowing they are....a cross dresser....means you are gay. If you didn't know they were a cross dreser, then you are not gay. Your senses were just fooled. I see plenty of beautiful cross dressers but I do not get turned on by any. While dressed, I have thought of men before, as I have an open mind. Didn't turn me on at all, so I haven't done that again.

[whowhatwhen]

So 'gay' is a certain type of homosexual whereas a crossdresser that has sex with other crossdressers is another type of homosexual, but not gay. But both are homosexual or at least bisexual right?

I'd go for "not straight" or just bisexual, if I cared that much anyway.
The problem with with calling them gay is that if they're not attracted to male features then it's not going to be possible to have a gay relationship beyond dressed humping.

Unless their true attraction is hidden which in that case it'll get sorted out in time.

Honest question here:
Do gay gay people ever go around accusing each other of being straight?
"Are you sure you don't really like women? I'm just saying since I've never seen you with a guy..."

[ArleneRaquel]

I'm as straight as a crooked line. It has taken me many years to admit/realize this fact.

[FoxxxyBri]

I think that sexuality is too simply defined and that there are different types of sexual attractions.

I am in no way attracted to men but I love CD's & TGirls. I tried to be objective and ask myself was I just saying it wasnt gay because I dont want that socially unacceptable brand? I just came to the conclusion that GAY & STRAIGHT were too simple to be accurate definitions of human sexual attraction.

When John Bobbit got his penis cut off people still refered to him as a "he" although he was de-dicked. Thats how I feel about CDs and TGs. They're still women although they still have that particular organ. Either way I dont think you or I are gay. We just like all gurls. With or without penises lol