Ever tried to quit?

[Shelly117]

When I found this forum my cd life change tremendously. I have made some great new relationships that have taught me a lot and forced me to look deeper into my CD world. I absolutely love dressing and feeling pretty but I know I don't have to do it to be happy 100% it's just a hobby that I enjoy. Sometimes I wonder should I just find another hobby?

The situations and harassment that can come from bending the norm can be horrible. I see that a lot of you are courageous and dead fast in your position to be you and that is very admirable. But I don't see myself that way. I also read some horrible things that some members went through and I wonder if I stopped I can avoid those situations myself.

I also wanted to add that every single person in this forum that I have had the pleasure to come in contact with have been completely amazing and understanding.

I find myself thinking of trying to stop and am just wondering if others have felt the same way or just came up with different ideas. Also, for all of you that have accepted yourself as a cd or transgendered, I honestly want to let you know that you are awesome and amazingly brave in doing something that makes you happy no matter what others may think.

[ArleneRaquel]

I've purged at least three times, no more purging for me. Dressing enfemme is in my DNA and I love that it is. HUGS to Shelly ! :)

[NV Susan]

Hi Shelly,



Welcome to our world!! :hugs:

I would bet everyone around here has tried to quit a time or two. I have tried 3 or 4 times myself but always started again. After you quit and purge you'll find it much less expensive to just put your things away for a while. I really miss some of the skirts, bras, & panties I let go during a purge. Now I no longer want to stop....I enjoy every minute being a CD'er!!!

[SandraV]

Most ladies here will echo what's already been said. Tried to quit a few times myself and failed miserably. The need to CD keeps coming back. It's just how we are wired.

[Jenni Yumiko]

I think I have purged with every major relatnship I had convinced they wouldn't accept. Some did, some didn't. In the end, I wish I never did and did stay true to myself.

[Melissa Rose]

I think any experienced cross dresser who has not quit or purged at least once is probably lying. :-) Having doubts and playing mind games with yourself is natural and to be expected. Fear will always be a part of it, but it tends to decrease with time, experience and maturity.

It is easy to focus and dwell on the bad. Bad stories and experiences stick with you much more than good ones. For example, you tend to remember all of your speeding tickets or car accidents and forget about each of the days when nothing happened while driving. Significantly more people die in car accidents per day than from shark attacks in a year, but car accidents are not news worthy or interesting unless spectacular. Shark attacks make the news because of the rarity and spectacular nature of them. You still drive because the odds of having a fatal accident is miniscule compared to not having an accident and forget about the comparative odds of a shark attack. Bad things that can happen while cross dressed are more like shark attacks and not fatal car accidents. Humans are wired to notice and remember exceptions, strangeness, the unusual and patterns, but wired to push the usual and mundane into the background. If not, our brains would be hopeless cluttered with the inane and inconsequential bits of every day life.

[cathie pantyhose]

no point in purging, most just buy it all back. I've purged at least twice and now I have more than ever. No more purging for me either. Relaxed when dressed fem

[sometimes_miss]

Ever tried to quit?
Yup. But it's like dieting. Just like I keep finding ice cream in my freezer, eventually there'll be new panties and bras in my wardrobe. The longest time of 'being on the wagon' was when I was dating and married, about seven years. Perhaps now I'm overdoing it 'to make up for lost time'.

[Jennifer W]

I didn't willingly purge. I've been a few weeks without my fem clothes. All I have left are a few pairs of panties. My wife bought me male underwear and right away they bothered me. I wear whatever is washed in the man underwear then panties until they get washed. I haven't worn man undies in a few days even though they are clean. I miss my clothes and am sorry my wife purged them.

I need my clothes, they are part of my life.

I could never willingly quit!

xo
Jen

[Marcie R.]

Emotions always run highs and lows when you are a CD. One thing to keep in mind is that you are a CD and whatever you try to do, like trying to erase all aspects of your feminine side, "THE DESIRE ALWAYS RETURNS, even after you have purged all your expensive clothes and accessories. YOU THEN HAVE TO START ALL OVER AGAIN. Just tuck everything away for a while.

[Kate Simmons]

I can pretty much take it or leave it. I found that things were better once I made it a total choice and realized it wasn't all about just me.:)

[lingerieLiz]

Let's face it, life would be easier if we didn't CD or whatever. The fact is we are different and especially the way we express ourselves. Otherwise we wouldn't want to quit. We would put on our outfits and go where we want to go with the people we want to go with. CDing makes a lot of things dificult. Accepting that we are different and continuing it shows that there is a drive within us to express ourselves in a certain way. I've tried on several occasions. After a few small purges and one big one when I went on an eating binge, when I dropped back 2 dress sizes I regretted it so I quit purging early on.

[Foxglove]

You can stop dressing, but you can't stop being trans. That is, you can stop dressing for a while. Eventually you might decide that when you stop dressing, it simply costs you too much. It's a question of your own happiness--where will you find it?

I'm trans. I was always unhappy when I tried not to think about that fact.

Best wishes, Annabelle

[Angela Campbell]

I've been doing this since I was 4 years old and never wanted to quit. I was very careful not to get found out and would not dress for periods just because it wasn't prudent to do so. I never really wondered why I do it either, I always knew. But like I have said Inever that I can remember decided to quit or even had the urge to stop doing it. Even during times when I couldn't dress safely I still wanted to and looked on as I saw the clothes of the real girls around me.

[Stevie]

I did try to quit but it only made me want to dress more. The reason why is that I was told to quit. It was not my decision at the time.

[Cheryl T]

I began wearing my mom's clothes when I was about 7. Over the years (too many of them... :) ) I've purged and attempted to quit more times than I care to think about. All the lovely clothes I bought only to discard to some donation bin or trash bin, what a wardrobe I would have had. It would have been so much simpler had I accepted myself in my 20's and been free of all the guilt that caused me to toss all those items, only to find myself back shopping for replacements weeks or months or even years later.
Yes, I've tried and come to the realization that quitting would be denying who I am. It would be trying to put aside a big part of my being and I will no longer do that.

[finding myself]

I have quit and started back up many times and always felt guilty. This time though I have come to realize that this is who I am. There's nothing wrong us we work , pay taxes and take care of our families. The best part of crossdressing is when you can finally accept yourself for who you are.

[Candice Mae]

I've tried to quit a few times, but Candice always clawed her way back into my life. The longest I've quit for is six months, I usually only last a month or two. I've given up on trying to deny that I'm transgendered, so now I try to just take a break here and there to keep thing fresh. The last time I quit was after spending 90% of my time off for two months home as Candice, it was to see with practice how good I could look. Due to not going out much because of unwanted attention, I neglected a lot of other things in my life. At the end of the two months I was disappointed with myself, I had accomplished what I wanted, which was perfecting my look and seeing how spending a large amount of time as Candice would effect my decision on whether or not to transition. But at the cost of lost opportunities, really made me stop and smell the roses, and decided that I had enough and quit for about six weeks.

Currently I'm at a cross roads again, and not sure where Candice and me will end up.

If I have any advice for anyone, it is when you decide to quit DO NOT purge, take everything for dressing and put it away out of sight. And if you do quit and feel comfortable with the decision then purge.

[Maria S]

Quitting to me is like losing weight. You go on a diet lose the weight and then put it on again and some. You try quitting CDing. After a couple of months you go back to it putting more into it than you did previously.

Maria

[Alice Torn]

Quitting has come and gone, and come again to mind, but, as much as i dress up pretty, there is still partly a man underneath it all. I have not purged totally ever.

[Julie Denier]

At this point, I don't think I could ever quit completely. I stopped dressing for about a year and a half after being caught by my wife (had been actively dressing about eight months till then), and like so many others before me, was drawn back to it and I'm on the down-low again.

[Amberhea]

I've never tried to quit and being here allows me to read others experiences and know how far I wish to take my CD'ing. My wife knows that i don't wish to be a woman but she also knows that I enjoy wearing lingerie, painting my toes, and I'm hinting to her that i'd like to try wearing something pretty. She doesn't know that I would love to go out for coffee or a drink with her dressed up as Amber. I think we all have a certain level of comfort with what we do or who we are and we should go with it. It's our life and our decision how far we take it. While there are some unenlightened people in the world, live your life for you.

[CassandraSmith]

Ever tried to quit?

Yes. Two times. The last one was so painful. I threw out some jewelry a former GF gave me and some of my mom's stuff that I can never get back. When I need a good cry, all I have to do is think on it for a few minutes.

My advice if you need a break is find a friend or a local transformation business and have them hold it for you. It's not an addiction, so the normal addiction intervention stuff won't work on it. It's tied to identity and that's a whole 'nother thing to change. I believe that people can change their identities; however, you have to make sure that it's really you you're changing into or someone else's idea of you. We carry that societal voice around with us and it's really strong in the beginning of our lives. It was essential to fit in as a teenager because social acceptance is part of development. In our case, as CDers, it's the reason why this place is so important. You fit in here by being outside of societies normal male profile. We are equal time.

[Shelly117]

I see that pretty much all of us had the feeling of trying to put this part of ours lives aside at some point or another but it just keeps coming back. Doesn't it scare you that you might be on a slippery slope and that one day it will be just too late to be the man you once were. Sometimes I feel that way. I can't explain the feeling that I get when looking online and finding something pretty or sexy and it scares the hell out of me. I love my male self and there is so much in my life that I am grateful for. So I want to keep that part but the pink fog seems all consuming. lol Been loving the feedback from this thread. You ladies are awesome!!!!

[SandraInHose]

Been crossdressing since I was 13, and by the time I got married at 24 I just KNEW I would stop. Married a beautiful, classy lady, who dressed to the nines frequently, and catered to my every whim. Surely I wouldn't want to crossdress any more, so right before our wedding I purged everything and considered that chapter of my life closed.

Well, you all know what happens next. Maybe three or four months in I gave in to temptation and tried on a pair of her pantyhose, which were expensive ones I'd never worn before. Soon after that I graduated on to trying on a few of her clothes, even though I outweighed her by 100 lbs. That didn't work so I started buying a skirt here, a pair of pumps there, until I had my own modest stash built up again.

Seventeen years after we'd been married, she discovered my stash, and the crapola hit the fan big time. Too long a story to repeat here, but once again I tried to stop. As part of our compromise she agreed I can still wear pantyhose but no dressing beyond that. I actually kept me end of the deal for a few years, but sadly the temptation was too strong and here I am dressing as often as I can, behind her back. I hate myself for sneaking again, but I have a feeling she suspects it but chooses to remain silent.

Bottom line...as I move into my early fifties, I realistically don't ever see me stopping. Ever.

[Ariamythe]

This is more or less a "me, too!" post, to say what everyone else said: yes I tried, no it didn't go away. I did it in high school, then tried to "quit" for twenty years. All it did was make me an asshole.

If it's not interesting you, take a break. Go where the feeling leads you. But don't think of it as "quitting."

[Beverley Sims]

Quit?
Are you real?
You have just said how you are enjoying life.
I suggest you find another hobby,.......


To compliment the one you already have.

[Melissa Rose]

Doesn't it scare you that you might be on a slippery slope and that one day it will be just too late to be the man you once were. Sometimes I feel that way. I can't explain the feeling that I get when looking online and finding something pretty or sexy and it scares the hell out of me. I love my male self and there is so much in my life that I am grateful for. So I want to keep that part but the pink fog seems all consuming.
Cross dressing itself does not lead to transsexualism. Why does cross dressing make anyone less of a man? Being a man (by most forms of the definition) is about your biological sex and gender identity and not your gender expression. The saying "Clothes make the man" is not applicable. There is no damage to your testicles (unless your tucking technique is dangerously wrong, LOL), decrease in your testosterone level or shrinkage of your penis caused by cross dressing. Your brain and emotions to do not permanently change after wearing a dress, heels, makeup and a wig. Nor does your skin get softer, you grow breasts or start having a period. Providing you do not undergo surgery or take hormones, there is no permanent damage to your manhood, however you want to define it, by cross dressing. Do not fall into stereotypes and media created definitions of manhood. If your gender identity is male, what you wear or liking feminine fashions is not going to change your gender identity or biological sex. If that was the case, I'm 90% woman.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Shelly, I've never had the desire to quit I'm having way to much fun dressing for over 65yrs. now.

[Janie {3]

I quit every day, when it's time to get ready for work. Then, start back when I get home. Came home today to new shoes that I had ordered. Love 'em.

[Angie G]

I never thought of quiting . I have put it on hold for some time. It was hard coming out to my wife but I did almost 7 years ago And I've naver had it so good.:hugs:
Angie

[AnitaH]

I seriously quit a few times. I was even successful for a couple of years twice. The thoughts never went away, the stress from trying so hard not to do something so natural to me was enormous. The dressing always came back with a vengance. Of course I am now pursuing transition so your mileage as a CD may be different.

I personally know of one girl that quit for 15 years, as she said it came back with a real vengance. That does seem to be the repeating story here.

AnitaH

[kimdl93]

To paraphrase Mark Twain, cross dressing is easy to quit. I've done it dozens of times!

[Rita58]

I want to cry when I think about all the fabulous clothes I've purged, only to eventually shell out more money to build my collection again. So yes, I've also tried to quit, so I decided to quit quitting. Just too expensive and pointless.

[Laura28]

I have quit in the past when younger, was ashamed of my self, but now that i am older and have come to relize it is who i am, i am embracing it. However i notice the urge comes on at certain times of the year more then others. Winter of course becuase i shave my whole body, andf keep my toes painted, waking up every morining and seeing how nice my toes look makes me want to continue, i do feel sad when summer comes and i have to let the hair grow back and take the polish of my toes, but i dont have the urge during that time at all, but as winter approach i start to get excited.

[Ceri Anne]

I have tried to quite once, purged all my stuff and came back after 3 months to the tune of about $1000 to replace everything. I still have 1 skirt and 1 dress I really really miss. If your not feeling it at the time, put your stuff away, out of sight. Then go on your way. If you ever get the need again, then go back to dressing with no regrets. Being a CD (for me its mostly a hobby, means of expression of my other side) I take great joy in it and enjoy going out in fem, meeting people, telling my story if the ask, and just having fun. I've had minor bad experiences, but mostly been well accepted, and even welcomed heartily into other non cd groups. Good luck.

[NathalieX66]

Yep! I did, and it failed. I purged and gave it up for 9 solid years, and it hit me back one day like a brick to the face.

I am what I am.

These days, life is good (....great, actually :) ) , I'm out & about, no regrets. I'm transgender, and I accept and embrace it.

[phlover]

I think most of CDs undergo similar experiences in connection with purging.
I attempted one major purging and several other minor purgings.

The major one came when I prepared for my marriage: as many of you said, I felt guilty for my CDing for my then-future wife. But my urge to wear women's clothing returned after several years of my marriage. After then, I tried several times to quit CDing but always failed after a short period. Now I am more deeply involved in CDing after I found out other CDers through internet.

Recently I found out about tape tucking through the internet searches and tried it. As I felt much more feminine when I wore pantyhose and a body-shaper/girdle over the tucked genitals, I felt much more feminine as I look at my flat front like a genetic girl. I appear to grow more and more addicted to CDing as my body wants to feel feminine. Maybe I cannot quit CDing any more: on the contrary, my CDing appears to lead to aspire to become a TS/TG.

[JadeEmber]

Sort of. I didn't really have much of a collection when I was young, but I would get rid of everything one or twice a year, usually because of someone I was interested in. And then I went through a long stretch of workaholism where I didn't really do much outside of work other than read. Now, I wish I had a collection during that time, since it might have cut the stress.

Anyway, in the end, putting it off that long just caused it to hit all the harder. If you enjoy doing it and it doesn't hurt anyone, then enjoy.

As to "your manly self," well, it certainly won't transform you. Perhaps it will allow you to break free of things that forced you to conform. Seeing that the cd taboo is ridiculous will perhaps let you see other things are ridiculous as well. And maybe you'll change because of that. But really, if that happens, you didn't actually change; society was always trying to squeeze you into a malformed corset ;)

[Julia Stevens]

I have tried to quit before, but at the time I didn't have much to get rid of. Now I have alot of stuff to wear, and quitting would be a whole lot more serious. I still do think about quitting though. I love crossdressing, but it is still a bit of a secret (although not a total secret) in my life, and having it a secret seems to bring problems with it if you see what I mean.

[RitaCD]

Quitting is easy. I know. I have quit many times. The problem is staying quit. So I've resolved to quit quitting. No more quitting for me.

[Laura De Santis]

That s true RitaCD i agree with you