You can't help me? WTH did you think you were doing for me for the past 4,999 posts?

[Barbara Ella]

This is my 5,000th post. I know, not many original thoughts, but what I hope was a lot of support for everyone here.

I have read several post recently about facing yourself, owning who you are, etc. Even had, just like Marleena, a PM with a TS sister admonishing me to own it, make decisions, and be proud.

I reference Marleena, because I want to disagree over a certain post here about helping someone. First, maybe it is semantics. Just what is meant by help someone? If you mean stating a decision, and expecting them to follow it, you are exactly right. I cannot make a decision for you might be a better title.

However, HELP is in my mind another matter entirely. If you provide one life anecdote that adds another thought to the mind of someone struggling to make a decision, you have helped that person move closer to a decision. If you even offhandedly talk about some trivial thing you did, or did not do, and why...You have added more information for someone who is unsure of themselves, and may one day struggle with the same decision. They now have more information in their life, and are enriched thereby. I really think that is helping.

Help need not move someone forward or backward, that is up to the individual., and is true about everything in life, not just our crossdressing, or TG, or TS, or Bi, or L or G or....... Please continue to help others, and me. It is the only way we will continue to grow and make decisions.

Just because you think you can't is no reason to stop. Never stop.

Barbara

PS. Loved the Post Marleena, just couldn't resist the chance to jump down your panties with my big 5,000. Hugs

[ArleneRaquel]

Barbara,
A great post, and I agree 100%. HUGZ !

[darla_g]

congrats on your milestone! thats a lot of posts in a little more than a year.

[mikiSJ]

FIVE THOUSAND POST! Congratulations.
I barely have a tenth of that number.

Barbara, I agree with the intent of your post, but sometimes we add too much advice and it simply gets lost in the noise. Often, we (myself included), don't add information that can be used to help the sister, but we often simply say "Do This!".

Sexuality and Transgenderism is not a binary phenomenon; it is a spectrum, a continuum. We should help a girl here find out where she is on the spectrum, not tell her where she should be!

[Maria S]

Barbara

Congratulations on 5,000 posts. I had a look at your stats, that works out at 11.11 posts per day every day. Don't know how you managed to come up with enough to post/reply about.

Regards

Maria

[Lorileah]

I don't even remember 5000:tongueout

[Marleena]

PS. Loved the Post Marleena, just couldn't resist the chance to jump down your panties with my big 5,000. Hugs

Congrats on your 5.000th post Barb! You've been a busy little beaver and have helped a lot of people.:)

[Julie Denier]

Congrats on the milestone! I'm barely halfway there ...

[Lorileah]

We are supposed to HELP people? I didn't see that in the rules:strugglin

[andrea lace]

Im sure at least five of those helpful posts were sent in my direction maybe more. Thanks Barbara and I will raise a glass to another 5000 you are always there with good advice and life experience many thanks. Please stop reading and get typing advice is in short supply these days. :D

[michelle64]

i understood it as only you can help yourself feel "normal" and i 100% agree with that...we are not normal in the eyes of society and no law is going to change that (one of my peevs is the we the need a law crowd thinking that a law will change attitudes) so get use to it..i gave up years ago worrying about it and life has been great for several decades now...truly what you feel is not something any of us can change..99% of the counseling services out there are useless as well...accept it..deal with it.,and get out there in the public view and make the best of it (surprising 99% wont even care or simply do not care)..what is crucial for many is hiding this from a spouse and the fear that goes along with it..if your in that boat it is going to be tuff..i tell everybody i know to tell the truth but only you know your situation in regards to a wife..i told my wife on the first date..sure we have tuff times as we all do...but in regards to CD'ing she has known since day 1 and its not an issue (ok- dont use my razor to shave your beard is verboten and of course i get please wash the dishes and mow the lawn)....i guess bottom line is only you can know what a "normal state" is in your mind..now who in the heck else knows how to get you there?..nobody but you thats who..quit lieing to yourself and your spouse would be a good first step...

[Diana Bain]

Congrats from me too....did you ever think fifteen months ago you'd come this far? This is a great forum...thanks for being apart of it:)

[Laura912]

Congratulations! You were among the very first to welcome me to this forum. I have, in turn, tried to "help" you with other areas. Your definition of help fits well with the definition of an advisor. But 5,000 posts?! An average of 11 plus per day?! Where do you keep the computer? Obviously a case of too much computer and not enough dressing. :heehee:

[Stevie]

Well said. Even though I don't agree or misinterpreted what I read I'm still greatful for the outside opinion. If we didn't have issues then there will be no need for this. I have read a lot of posts with multiple issues and seem to be able to relate one way or another. If you can't take criticism them you shouldn't be posting either. The door opens both ways. Again thank you all for the inputs on my posts. I have grown a lot this last month and will be the last to tell you I know it all. Because I don't.

[ronda]

Barbara congrads on the big 5000 i guess i better get to it and start talking more i have been here since 2005 and have not topped 600 yet i think i have done about 200 in the last year WOW you got 5000 in 15 mo again congrads and thank you for all of your support Hugs Ronda

[Lillyasia]

Congrats on your 5000th post Barbara! You must have developed an app for your phone and are typing away while you are shopping. Keep on posting away because yours are good reading.

[Beverley Sims]

It is my humble opinion,
that those that are transsexual, transgendered and/or undertaking hormone treatment have very different needs at times and sympathy, patience and consolation all help when you are dealing with a fiery and active mind.

There is depression to deal with and many different scenarios do come up.
Day to day disappointments such as hair removal treatments, stringy hair on the head that has not turned out right yet. The face in the mirror that has not softened, the disappointment because of lack of breast growth and the up coming operation in the future.

Changing relationships, the loss of friends, some near and dear to you for years, feeling like a leper because you have had to move to another city and start a new life probably in a gay community when you may feel as a heterosexual woman you do not fit. I apologize to gay people but like me as a CD do you not feel like a leper sometimes. Ostracized by the rest of the community.

Even cancer and aids sufferers experience this isolation to a lesser degree.
Some refuse to be helped and seem to want to live in their own misery.
There is strong militancy among some and they prefer to air their views in a private forum.
I agree the privacy is a good thing.

On other forums there are great cat fights intolerance and name calling.
Tongue in cheek I sometimes say blame it on the hormones, I think that is quite true.
Hormones are a powerful mind bending drug along with their other properties.
I experienced this myself some years ago.
I also grew small breasts.

I am lucky I enjoy my life without depression or therapists to lean on.
I find this forum a great place to interact and assist other with their problems.

This is Barbara's post so I should not steal it.
I feel I am adding to it but if it is considered out of place or inflammatory I will delete it.
I also apologize to those that I have probably offended.

Unlike others in this thread I am only a X dresser.

[kimdl93]

You are allowed some self indulgence when you pass certain milestones, Barbara. I'm glad that you've found support here. I agree that help can take many forms...I think that actual change, though inspired from outside, must inevitably come from within. Congratulations on 5000 posts!

[docrobbysherry]

Congrats, Barbara! It's been so enjoyable to have u here and read your posts! May u stick around for another 5000!

[stephNE]

I agree with Barbara, All of you may not think you help, but you do. I find a great comfort in all the "gurls" on this forum. Thank you to all!

And congratulations on your 5,000 post. I am approaching 500, wow, I have a long way to go. Steph.

[SarahLynn]

I'm suppose to help others. Come on girl I can barely help myself. Fact is I'm told I'm beyound help. Okay I'll help if I can. Words of advice: Don't follow, I might not lead. Don't lead, I might not follow. Lead, follow, or get the hell out of the way, but do something. No decision, not a one, you make is so bad it can't be fixed. Even if someone dies as a result, at least you learned not to do it again. (well i hope you did anyway) Buy yourself a pair of glasses with yellowish lenses. On gray days it gives you a better outlook on life. (that is a trueism)

I've now been on this blue ball of water and earth for 63 plus years and i've learned many trueisms. Number one; I will never know everything about even one thing. Number two; I'll never quit learning until I wake up to find I'm looking at the underside of grass. Number three and the finel one; someone will always know more about the things I think I know something about, so I'll keep my eyes and ears open and my mouth shut and maybe, just maybe, I'll learn something more.

Great you have done 5000 posts. I'm proud of you.

stephNE, its not the quanity but the quality that matters. And hers are good'ns

SarahLynn

[Linda Leigh]

Barbara, Congrats on your 5000 th post.


Linda

[Penny With_more]

Wow Barbara, 5000! That's awesome! Congratulations!

Also thank you for your kind words in my introduction post. As I said, I've been lurking for a while and I always find your posts very insightful. Actually, I was flattered/honored when you said hello!

Now I can also take pride in saying "I was there" for your 5000th! Let's see if we can reach 10.000!

XOXO Penny

[cdxmatty]

congrats babe :)