Bridging the gap

[Betty_42]

Well my male self is Donnie and my female self is known as Betty. Well, more than one person has been suggesting that instead of operating in different "modes", that I should try to be both people at the same time for surely they both exist within me and my psyche right? I'm still not so sure though? I mean, the more I dwell on it, the more I'm coming to realize that this has never been about those people... This is about me and how I choose to live my life. I'm thinking as long as I have an "androgynous mode" like I'm operating in right now, that I should be fine...

[Stephanie47]

Operating in an 'androgynous mode, would be very confusing to me. When my male masculine side wants to be dominant, I want to be that male. When Stephanie wants to come out to play and assert herself, she does not want any masculine traits evident.

[Beverley Sims]

I would try the three modes and work out which one you prefer.
To go androgynous straight away may work it means not moving too far from your comfort zone.

[Rachael Jones]

This is an interesting look at our psyche. Who knows if both male and female exist, or is the one a fabrication of what 'could have been' if we were born female? For me, I am a creative person (I think it's called a left brain mind) and so do creative things like write, photography, music. Especially for the writing, you have to get into the mind of the characters, to understand who they are, what they do and importantly, why.

So, for me, I'm almost like writing my female side, the Rachael side, but the boundaries are blurred because of my introverted male personality. Hence, some aspects are similar, some aren't.

To me (and I may be wrong to others) - my male side is the prominent, but likes to explore what could be in Rachael. If I chose to be more androgynous about it, I would personally feel more confused. I like to term male as male and vice versa. The only androgynous part of me is what to do with my nails, my eyebrows, etc. Features that typically define me as male need to be pulled in to make the switch to either mode easier. That's as androgynous as I'll go.

Essentially, you're right - it's about how we choose to live our lives.

[Joanne f]

I find that androgynous works well for a while as it is like snacking but it will not stop you wanting that big meal every so often and it is much easier for your everyday part of life when you are running from one place to another all the time and it can be quite simple and quick to dress it up a bit with accessory's so it woks quite well for me . It can be quite surprising how far you can push androgynous.

[Persephone]

It is not surprising that we feel like two different people or two different spirits. It is because humans draw such great distinctions between male and female and there really are no words for "both." If your gender is confusing, even little children will ask "are you a boy or a girl?"

So it isn't unreasonable that we think of ourselves, and refer to ourselves, as two different people, it is merely a social convenience.

Hugs,
Persephone.

[genevie]

Androgynous mode is fun. Pushing bounderies and watching reactions is interesting. I was getting my haircut yesterday. This was my second time with her. The first time I gave her an example of what I was looking for:

198000

She didn't bat an eye. So she's giving me what I want. She told me yesterday that her mother-in-law has the same haircut. She said it looks great on her too.

Little steps and blending of modes makes it easier when you can't dress and role play as much as you want.

[Betty_42]

Interesting? Well I know that while I live with my in-laws, I can never "go over the deep end" into being Betty anyway! Although Betty appears to have two facets. One is as a maid to my wife and the other is a raging ****! That said, I should keep the latter side in the bedroom here for obvious reasons. And the maid thing appears to give me much pleasure anyway. I'll continue to push it though, for example, I need to get a haircut soon and I'll look through the female styles to pick one that I like. Just remember what I've learned though, take it nice and slow so that I don't get into a situation that I'm not prepared to deal with...