Dressed in front of people for first time

[Amy A]

I decided that today would be the day I'd spend some time as Rachel somewhere other than the house on my own, so I set out for Dee Selecta's (a CD shop in Bolton) with a bag full of clothes.

I felt like throwing up before I got there but made myself go through with it. I got changed in a room at the back, tried to keep my hands still enough to do my makeup, and then stepped out. I was absolutely petrified and walked across the shop with my head down whilst everyone watched me!

Anyway, to cut to the point, Helen, Lisa (the women that were running the shop) and Carla (a forum member here) were really nice to me and Helen said some really lovely things about my looks. I kept quite quiet as I tend to do anyway around new people but inside I felt wonderful.

So hopefully it's onwards and upwards from here for me, and hopefully I can leave the self hatred and depression behind.

[Rhonda Ann]

I admire your courage, hope it's onward, upward and happy days ahead for you. My adventuring out consist of walking to my truck, riding around, maybe go thru a drive thru, or go and get gas. Usually late at night when there aren't many people. Best wishes to you

Rhonda

This made me think, last night I dressed up and just hung around the house. I stayed up late and didn't take my make up off or anything. LOL I get up this morning unable to find my cell phone. I think well I must have left it in my truck, I go 'OUTSIDE' not thinking, walk to my truck, a couple cars pass, the mail lady drives by, my neighbor is in her front yard. When I opened the door to my truck, I notice my nail polish still on (a pink that really POPS) and I'm wearing fem sandals and my toe nails polished (same color) and I think OOOOOOOOO crap mascara, eye shadow, eye liner......... OH WELL I had to laugh.

[Bree Wagner]

Congratulations on that big first step out the door. It gets easier!

Good luck Rachel!

-Bree

[Linda Leigh]

woohoo 1 huge step you :)

[KiwiKate]

Good for you Rachel.It must be terrific being around others who are accepting of your feminine side.I think you look very pretty! Best of luck.

[Teri Ray]

Great post Rachel. A big step and I am happy that it worked out for you.

[Carla Stevens]

Rachel, it was great to see you at Dee's today & congratulations on making that first big step.:thumbsup:
You certainly looked great.
As I mentioned to you, my first time was just over 12 months ago & I made that walk out of the door into the shop feeling very nervous.
Remember, we've all been there.
You certainly looked more relaxed by the end of the afternoon.:)
I must admit that Helen, Lisa & myself did kind of bombard you with lots of information & advice. Quite alot to take in all in one go.
You will feel more relaxed & at ease every time you visit the shop & dress infront of others. I certainly do.
I really enjoyed the afternoon as it was my first chance to dress since before Christmas & it was great to chat to you, Helen & Lisa.

Hopefully I'll see you at Dee's again soon.

Remember, hold your head up high, shoulders back & be proud to be who you are.:D

[Diversity]

Hi Rachel, let's just take the self hatred and depression out of the way, and celebrate your first outing! You've got me beat by a mile, and I admire your courage to have done it. I am still trying to get there, so be proud of yourself and celebrate your success! In my book, you're an inspiration! Thank you for sharing your story with us.
Di

[carolinewalker_2000]

Hi Rachel,

I've been to Dee Selcta a few times. You chose a good place to visit for your first outing. I'm sure you will go from strength to strength. (On one occasion I went straight from Dee's intp Manchester for the first evening of Sparkle - memorable!!!)

[Lady Slipper]

Congratulations Rachel! I'm sure you looked great, and having a friend with you must have been a confidence booster!

I didn't know you were in the UK. :eek:

[GinaM]

AWESOME!!!! The first time out is so frigen scary.... It gets easier. For a while I was going out a few times a week even going to the mall during the day and so many other places. Even spent a weekend away dressed which was really exciting. I haven't been out in a few months but plan on getting back on in a few weeks.

It is def. a rush when you get out in the public.

[Jodi Anne]

Congratulations Rachel on your first day out, glad you did it and you lived to tell us.:D

[Camille15]

Congratulations. I really admire your courage! I hope you're really proud of yourself. :)

[Stephanie47]

If that's an actual picture of you on the bio page, you are a lovely looking young woman. I'm sure your presentation was very well done. I would not read you for a young guy. I'd hire you for a part time job, no problem.

[PertyX]

If that's an actual picture of you on the bio page, you are a lovely looking young woman.

I agree with that 100%. And, I'm deeply envious of your looks and your courage.

X

[Tammy Nowakowski]

Congratulations on that big first step out the door
hope you have many more good ones

[Kimberlyfaye]

Congrats Rachel! It takes alot of courage to step out for the first time. I know, I've done it. It gets easier each time. With looks like yours I don't think you need to hide. You look gorgeous.

On another note, this shop sounds interesting. I might have to visit sometime. Kim wants to get out more and more now. Once you've made the first trip you never want to stop.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Rachel, The world didn't stop turning and life goes on as usual.

[Angela Campbell]

That first time is scary isn't it? A lot of us have gone through the same thing. My first couple of times I was shaking so badly I almost fell apart. It gets easier every time. I only went out of the house for the first time last summer. I go out several times a month now and I am not nervous at all in most situations. Good going and congrats!

[kristinacd55]

Congrats Rachel, felt very freeing didn't it? I'll never forget my first support group meeting, it was wonderful.

[Leah Lynn]

Congratulations! That's a huge step to take; many of us know first hand. The heart pounding, the self doubt, but you made it.

Okay, then, when's the girls night out planned?

Leah

[Amy A]

Thanks everyone for the lovely messages. Today feels a bit like a new beginning. Now that this is done and out of the way, I feel like I can start to let Rachel grow.

Carla: Thanks again it was great to see a familiar face when I came through the door. And all the advice was great!

Stephanie47: That is me, thanks so much for the nice words, it really is a confidence booster to hear such things!

Kim: There's a really strong LGBT community in Manchester so if you are ever planning a weekend away, I can't think of many better places! Dee, Lisa and Helen are really friendly. They even do accompanied shopping trips in Manchester. :)

Leah: A night out is definitely on the cards someday soon; it's not something I would have ever dared imagine once upon a time, but now there's some hope for me!

Thanks again everyone! :)

[Kalista Jameson]

Congrats Rachel, you are an inspiration. Thanks for sharing your story. It definitely helps build the rest of us up.

Cheers,

Kalista

[Beverley Sims]

I suggest you do anything that they wish to help you with.
You do not need hatred, depression and self loathing following you.
Hold your head high, smile and walk out the door.

[Stacy Sissy CD]

You look so cute. I look forward to hearing about your future outings.

[Kelly Smith]

So hopefully it's onwards and upwards from here for me, and hopefully I can leave the self hatred and depression behind.
"Self hatred"? Life is too short and has the potential for too much beauty to hate yourself for who you are. Presenting yourself as a woman doesn't make you a bad person. Ease up on yourself.

[Anacita]

You are a rock star! Well done!

[mandytg]

Well done Rachel, the first step outside of your home is always the most difficult, one over the threshold you will wonder why you did not do this earlier.
My first outing was to Sunny Blackpool, to a t girl meeting, never looked back since.

Mandy

[Sarah Doepner]

Rachel, I've said this before, but there are all sorts of firsts we face. That first time in front of other people is a major one and you deserve all the credit in the world for finding the strength to succeed! There was that first time you actually got fully dressed and the first time you admitted to yourself that you are a crossdresser. In the future will be firsts that will take courage, but looking back at my life, I think you've done most of the hardest ones already.