Do you ever wish you had someone to be girly with?

[Camille15]

Though my wife knows about my CD'ing, and is OK with it, she recently reiterated (in passing conversation) that she wouldn't ever want to see me dressed. Made me kind of sad, b/c I was holding out a secret hope that we could one day have a girls night (dress, dance, watch a movie, etc). Though I can share a bit with her about shopping and fashion, I would love to have someone to actually *be* girly with when I feel like it.

Does anyone else every feel that way?

I should specify that by "someone" I mean an actual GG, and not another CD'er.

[kimdl93]

ok, I found a key word in there. You said you were holding a "secret" hope that the two of you could have a girls night. Don't keep that a secret. Let her know that its something that would be very special to you.

One of the problems we have is that as males, we take "passing converation" and think its an acceptable way to work through this whole thing with our wives. Its not. Theres so much to talk about, and if you have long, deep , open and honest conversations, she'll understand how important this is to you emotionally, and she may overcome some of her reservations in the same process.

[Melissa Rose]

I have GG friends, but they are not particularly interested in doing primarily stereotypical "girly" things. We go out, talk, have lunch or dinner, go to a movie, shop a little, etc. - just do the things friends do. A few things could be considered exclusively girly such as getting a pedicure then having lunch, but most are the standard things friends do when out together.

Why does it have to be a GG? Among my GG friends, I am considered the most feminine, and I purposely avoid projecting stereotypes and try to blend in as best as I can. I am the one they ask to go shopping with to help with picking out clothes and makeup. It is a small joke among us. Most of the time, we just hang out and enjoy the company. I have more girls night out with a good friend who is transgendered and a member of this forum (Debglam, in case you are curious). Our last outing a few weeks back could only be considered remarkable in how unremarkable it was. We went to dinner, to a theater show then out for drinks. Absolutely no incidences or issues, and nothing particularly girly about it. The only thing that made it a girls night out was it was two girls. Two guys could have done the same exact same things and no one would have called it a girls night out. I will admit Debby and I are trying to set up a pedicure, shopping, and lunch or dinner day in the next week or two. There is nothing wrong with doing more girly things, but most things done with friends are gender neutral.

Do not fall into the trap that girls night out has to be "girly" things and done with a GG. Let go of the stereotypes! Girls night out is doing things you like with friends you like, and it is not doing "girly" things. Why limited yourself? I understand what you are expressing, but if you open up your horizons, you will see and experience more of the world.

[WandaRae2009]

All the time. My wife does not want to participate with my CD'ing. She also does not want me to go out in public. I am still debating whether to push the issue and attend a group outing in another city. In the news we see only the few bad events that happen. One of my biggest wishes that we could out out of town and do a girls night out; dinner and a movie or something. I keep hoping that some day she says let me see you dressed up.

[Eve II]

Yes, would love to have someone to "girly with"; dress-up, try on different clothes, hold each other, giggle with, etc .....

[Trishpdxcd2]

Yes, I am in the closet and would love to have someone to dress up occasionally with. I did go out dressed over the summer several nights while traveling which was fun but still did it alone.

[Jenniferathome]

When I came out to my wife, she was very clear that she was not ready to see me dressed. Over time, she became "ready." We have since gone out together and I dress in front of her freely as I like (I always tell/ask her I will be dressing).

Things may change for you but you do need to talk to your wife about cross dressing , in general. I would not recommend telling her you want "girly time" with her, but rather explore WHY she does not want to see you dressed. In my case, my wife feared that seeing me dressed would result in her seeing me that way aways, even when not dressed. That fear is no longer in the mix.

[allesha10]

Camillle, I think my wife is where yours is? I have just recently come out to her, so I have not had anytime to discuss future adventures as Allesha. But having said that I don't know if I want someone around me now, maybe someday when I feel more comfortable.

[rita63]

My dressing is one of the reasons my marriage ended. I would really like to have someone to share my dressing with, gender is not important. I am working on meeting people slowly, carefully, coming out more over the last year. When I think how far I've come the rest of the way seems friendlier. Hope to met someone this year for at least a friendship.
hugs rita

[ssmjoanne]

I am very lucky. From the very beginning my wife has not only supported my CD'ing, she has enjoyed it. I realized she was not just tolerating it when we went out to buy my first bra. We went to several stores before my wife found one she really liked. She was not going to get any bra just to get it out of the way. Now, I have no desire to pass in public. If I did, then I think her response would be different.
Camille, I think you should be grateful that your wife tolerates your dressing. My ex-wife was appalled and made me feel very bad. And I agree with the advice that you need to understand your wife's reasons for not wanting to participate more than she does.

[Maria S]

My wife is well good with me CDing but I do not abuse it. Unfortunately she will not come out with me in public. She says it's not for her but more worried about people seeing me.

I need her to be out with me. One reason is girlie shopping I can't really try things on in boy mode and then come out and "How do I look in this love?"

CDers whose wives come out with them are well lucky.

Maria

[Badtranny]

Why does it have to be a GG? Among my GG friends, I am considered the most feminine, and I purposely avoid projecting stereotypes and try to blend in as best as I can.

...and you even told me once that I wasn't being very ladylike!

I always say this but my CD friends are always put together way better than me. Honestly sometimes I think I transitioned just because I'm too damn lazy to make the effort otherwise. ;-)

Camille, I don't know where you are in Northern CA, but you've got to be somewhere close to either the Bay girls or the Sac girls so why not reach out and meet someone? Melissa Rose is also married and plans to stay that way so I think meeting somebody like her might be good for your wife.

[Alice Torn]

You are fortunate to have a tolerant wife. I am single, and have been blasted by most women i tell about dressing. In the 8 yrs i been dressing up fully, have been all dressed in front of two women, and two guys. I really dig modeling in front of men or women, but this is very seldom.

[Beverley Sims]

A lot of us have wanted what you desire.

[Buxom Fella]

I've only ever had one (strictly platonic) girl pal to be girly with, which helped enormously. We're in different time zones now, and it's.... kinda hard to just 'find' someone new to fill that gap!

[Jenni Yumiko]

I have a BFF for that, but what I really want is my wife. It's a part of me very few ppl know about and is just one of those things I feel should be shared with your SO over anyone else.