Be who you are not who you are supposed to be!

[Amy Hepker]

I see so many post should I do this, maybe I will do that. Be who you are. You know if dressing is right for you whether it is for a few minutes or a life time. I wish I could go back and be the person I am inside instead of living the lie of trying to be someone I was not. I have always known, (but to scared to come out about it) that I was female and not male inside. Now, I regret not living as myself all those years. I know that my mother would have supported me no matter what, my father died at an early age, but I know he probably would have hated me for being Amy. That is one reason I tried to be male all those years. Plus I was afraid of what might happen to me, by so-called friends and people that were not my friends. I would have been beat up, kicked around and humiliated, but when I was in my 20s is when I should have made the change and my whole life would have been so much better.

GOD LOVES us for who we are no matter what clothes we wear. I am sure he would much rather have me be Amy, than the rude ignorant person like so many other males I have known. OK, stop right there, I am not saying all males are like this, but most of the ones I knew and grew up around were.

The thing is that the whole world would be better off if we could all be who we really are, instead of being who we are supposed to be. I also know that many males have it beat into them to be masculine males, me I ran into one of these ignorant males and he beat my face up pretty bad and all I was trying to do was her his girlfriend get away from his abuse. I know that he had it beat into him, as that was the world he grew up in.

Sorry I got carried away.

GOD LOVES You all!!!
Amy

[Persephone]

Hi Amy!

Wonderful post! I agree completely.

But why is it too late for you? I lived this my whole life, but really only "came out" a few years ago and now I truly love my life. There are still bumps caused by the past, but the moments you can have are better than those that you skip.

Hugs, and God Bless!
Persephone.

[Kate Simmons]

We hold the key Amy and we are who we allow ourselves to be. The programming of society can go pretty deep until we learn how to reprogram ourselves. Then, it's mostly up to us my friend.:)

[Beverley Sims]

Amy,
You are preaching to the converted here.
I gave up being what I was supposed to be years ago.
I should have taken the high dive when I was 20 but I was stopped midstream b all the conflicting information around.
So I am who I am these days and enjoying it.

[kimdl93]

I agree with the admonition to be who you are. I also have great sympathy for those among us who don't know exactly who they are, struggle to reconcile their identity with belief systems and societal norms, or feel constrained by very real obligations to others. I still have to balance these obligations and expectations with the person I really am. But, I put the conflict to rest a long time ago by accepting myself. Accepting who you are is perhaps as important as living who you are 24/7.

[Ezekiel]

The programming of society can go pretty deep until we learn how to reprogram ourselves. Then, it's mostly up to us my friend.:)

The key to control people, education and media, governments do it all the time. Control the media, control the mind.

[docrobbysherry]

That's all well and good, Amy. For u that u you've always known who u r. But, many of us don't know!

I knew exactly who I was until age 50 when I began dressing. That was over 15 years ago and I'm still working it out. Went thru these stages so far:

Why do I suddenly want to dress in ladies gear? I must be a gay perv!

Then, not gay, just a perv. So, what happens next?

I've heard I must be a woman inside? I'll just wait for that shoe to drop! Still waiting------

So, who do ask about who u r? You're parents? Teachers? Preacher? No! As Kate says, u need to work it out for yourself. Even if it takes your entire life!

[sometimes_miss]

<snip>, me I ran into one of these ignorant males and he beat my face up pretty bad and all I was trying to do was her his girlfriend get away from his abuse. I know that he had it beat into him, as that was the world he grew up in.

See, this is the thing. I have absolutely no desire to get into fights just because of who I am. I went through that as a kid, and simply have no need to have to do it again just because other people feel I should flaunt 'being myself' to the world. Sure, I grew big enough to be able to defend myself, but that doesn't mean I want to have to keep having to get into fights 'just because'.

[Jamie001]

See, this is the thing. I have absolutely no desire to get into fights just because of who I am. I went through that as a kid, and simply have no need to have to do it again just because other people feel I should flaunt 'being myself' to the world. Sure, I grew big enough to be able to defend myself, but that doesn't mean I want to have to keep having to get into fights 'just because'.

It is important to understand that it is not illegal to crossdress and that anyone that physically assaults you is guilty of assault in a court of law. You have the right to dress as you please as long as there is no indecent exposure. Don't let other folks dictate how you can dress! Gay folks made progress by getting out there and showing the world that they are proud of who they are. If we hide in the closet, then change will never happen. I believe that most of the fear is in our own minds. People don't care what you wear; they are too busy going about their own lives.

[sometimes_miss]

It is important to understand that it is not illegal to crossdress and that anyone that physically assaults you is guilty of assault in a court of law. You have the right to dress as you please as long as there is no indecent exposure.
What is legal to do, and what is safe to do, are two different things. Kind of like going through the intersection on a motorcycle, even though a truck is coming the other way, and that truck having a stop sign, yet you have the right of way. Just because you're 'legally' right won't keep you from getting run over should that truck break the law.
We also have the right to chant the n word out loud while walking down the street in harlem in the middle of a hot summer night while wearing a white sheet. Doesn't make it a good idea.
So for those who want to, feel perfectly free to carry the banner for the rest of us, and we'll financially support your relatives in the legal case against the nuts who kill you should, god forbid, it ever comes to that.
Me, I'd rather not go through the hassle, and the legal fees, of defending myself should I have to beat the crap out of somebody because he wanted to prove to his idiot buddies that he was tougher than 'the faggot in a dress' by instigating a fight. Maybe you don't believe it happens anymore, but I assure you, it does. Living in the pink fog can get you injured, or killed.

[Angela Campbell]

Yes I lived in the deep south when I was growing up and the "manly" ways are pretty much beat into us. No one ever knew I was a girl inside except for me but I just didn't match up to the other boys in so many ways that I was a target for the abuse they learned to dish out. I learned though, how to avoid conflicts when possible, how to run when I have to and how to defend myself if there is no other way. I find it repulsive to get into a physical altercation but I did have to face the fact that I was a target.

[Jamie001]

Me, I'd rather not go through the hassle, and the legal fees, of defending myself should I have to beat the crap out of somebody because he wanted to prove to his idiot buddies that he was tougher than 'the faggot in a dress' by instigating a fight. Maybe you don't believe it happens anymore, but I assure you, it does. Living in the pink fog can get you injured, or killed.

Consider out gay brothers and sisters and how they fought and are fighting for their rights. African Americans throughout American History had to fight for their rights. If we cower in the closet we will not make any progress. Also, we need to remember that the majority of the fear is in our own minds because we create our own demons that are not rooted in reality. It is our choice: Cower in the closet, or become part of the solution.

[Dana L]

Well said Amy! As a teenager I fought back the woman inside and became an overly masculin jerk. Trying to prove how tough I was to others when acctualy I was trying to prove it to myself. I come to terms whith who I am and am much better for it. My wife supports me but no one else knows about Dana. I would love to think my family especialy my kids and my mother would accept me for who I realy am. With that maybe I could deal with society later. But someday Dana won't be kept in.

[AmyGaleRT]

"This above all: to thine own self be true / And it must follow as the night the day / Thou canst not then be false to any man." (Hamlet, Act I, scene 3)

Amy, you and Shakespeare are right in sync on this one.

- Amy (also :))

[sonna]

i think every one has a switch that just clicks on some sooner some latter, they just get the the point were had enuff.

[Amy Hepker]

One thing I wanted to point out, is that I was dressed as a Male when I was beat up, trying to help a friend. These days I believe a lot of guys will not try to fight me as they do not want to be known for getting the S_it beat out of them by a guy in female clothes. I do not like to fight and never did, but like most of you I had to defend myself in school and after. I always said, "it takes a bigger man to walk away from a fight, than it does to start one".

As far as finally being who I am, I am very happy now, and feel great inside. But, I feel that I missed out on so many things growing up that I could have enjoyed, if I had only been born female. I also wish that I would have came out years before. I do go out everyday and do the things I need to do, get groceries and other necessities. Go to clothing stores, thrift stores, yard sales and just do everything as Amy. No Regrets. I am always greeted with respect by everyone. I guess if people do say things behind my back I don't hear it and frankly I do not care as long as they leave me alone.