Questioning the hand that supports...So to speak..

[Green_Eyed_Polock]

First let me start by saying it has been a couple of years since I last posted to the site. A lot has changed for me in that time. I got divorced and then met a GG, a few months back, that supports me and my CD. Wow..what a difference that makes having someone that will take the time to understand me for me.I am SO lucky to have found someone that will be supportive and encourage me to be me!

But here is my problem, since I have never had this (support) I find myself questioning why??

Dont get me wrong, I love the support but I can't help but think the worst. Is this a normal reaction or is this just me putting up defenses? If it's the later how can I over come being my own worst enemy?

[Ezekiel]

Exactly what made you question her support? Why don't you talk to her and bring up this question? Maybe she is attracted to crossdressers and thats the reason she supports you (just an hypothesis). I think perhaps you are a bit paranoid as we've always been looked down by others and we trust less of people in general, this causes you to doubt.

[suzy1]

I was reminded of the saying ‘this is too good to be true’ when I read your thread.
In other words, you can’t believe your luck!

Give it time and then you will get used to being in heaven. [No pleasing some people]:eek:

All the best,:)
Suzy

[Gypsy Sam]

Green_Eyed_Polock,

Share your feeling of putting up defenses, and practice that as a matter of habit. The evolvement you have traveled has a learning cycle to it. Try focusing on the needs of your GG and making her feel special. "Make someone happy,then you will be happy too." a refain from a song by Singer Jimmy Durante. Not comfortable sharing your desire to dress ? Spend time with your imagination.

[Marissa V]

... and encourage me to be me!

There you go....she likes YOU. You answered your question yourself imo. Offcourse it all starts with her not having a problem with crossdressing, but the basic fact of the matter is that she can live with crossdressing all she wants, if she doesnt like YOU, it all ends for you. My gf also encourages me to be me...and all i can see is a person who sees more than just the package i'm in, be it male mode or femme. And there is no clear cut why apart from...she likes YOU. And that 'YOU' is more then what you see.

[kimdl93]

The way we react to events and circumstances - whether good or bad - is often a matter of learned behavior. You've had lots of practice in worrying about being accepted. Its not surprising that once accepted, you worry that about that.

[April_Ligeia]

I am in the same situation but have been with my current, accepting gf for over two years. My marriage was so bad that after going through the divorce and starting another relationship I figured, what is the worst cade scenario? We break up? Just take it at face value one day at a time. Getting divorced really brings your emotions to a breaking point, and I know I have the 'once burned, twice shy' feeling. It's not easy to trust again, and I think that's true whether you crossdress or not.

[Beverley Sims]

I reiterate what everyone else has said and add STOP over thinking situations.
Take it as it is.

[Lacyfem]

Well you say you now like the support you are now getting. Being who we are, gurls, we are not exactly accepted by a lot of society and therefore some dress and find that aspect exciting in many aspects. So, when all of a sudden accepted, what happens to the excitement? It's gone. Take a close look at yourself and decide whether your now finding someone who accepts you makes your dressing and femside less dangerous and exciting. Thus can be confusing.

[UNDERDRESSER]

I don't know why YOUR SO supports you. My GF appreciates me as being a guy that loves her, supports her in her quest to be a complete person, appreciates her intelligence, and doesn't get all defensive when she's better at something than I am. She understands that gender identification, and in my case, gender performance, has nothing to do with sexual orientation. So, I like to express my good looks? i want to display my body and show it off? Cool! She thinks my legs ( in particular ) are fabulous, ( In fact she's a bit jealous of them ) If I want to display them in skirt and stockings? Go for it! "No, no, not that color combination! Try this".....

[Kate Simmons]

A person really in tune with another one can sense their feelings and heart. Not to mention body language and facial expressions. They are the real verifiers of internal feelings.:)

[docrobbysherry]

Why r u asking CD's, Green? We're pretty clueless about what women think!

U should have directed your question at the GG's here. I'd love to read their replys, too!

[Stacy Myrdin]

the fact of the matter is, we love our partner no matter what package he/she is in, and that's simpel :D
xoxoxo

[Cheryl T]

You are so not accustomed to having the support that it's natural to question whether it will last or not.
When I came out to my wife and she and I talked, and talked, and talked and she finally said it was fine with her and I could dress anytime I pleased it was a bit awkward. While I wanted to dress I thought I might be overdoing it. Was she going to change her mind if I dressed too much and all those other second guesses.
You just need to relax, take a deep breath and thank the heavens you have someone who loves you and accepts you for who you are without all the judgemental baggage so many carry with them.
If you are worried about her feelings then TALK TO HER. Communication and trust are the 2 things that will resolve your fears.

[Miriam-J]

There really are a lot of people who don't start by figuring out who to exclude, though it's sometimes hard to believe when you're stuck in an intolerant situation. If we're patient and fortunate, each of us can find someone who is a good companion and who also is open to a wide enough variety of lifestyles. I was fortunate enough to find one my second time around five years ago, and it appears you've had the same good fortune now. Enjoy it, but never stop exploring feelings with one another - on this topic and the many others that are important to each of you.

Miriam

[Jorja]

Do not question why. Just live, love and enjoy it.

[Rachelakld]

My hobby is also supported by my wife, as I support her hobbies and interests.
She allows Rachel to have some girl time, so long as wife gets time with hubby as well.

She's in legal and sees a lot of the bad/crazy people.
Her ex was the "MAN" of the house and would hit anyone who disageed with how he spent his money or how he spent her money.
Husbands bashing wife and toddlers was sociable acceptable where they lived, so a CD is really a non-issue to her.
My kids support me the same as they support their school friends who are gay, disabled, CD, or any other way different.

The world has changed

[ArleneRaquel]

Rachel,
The world has changed and I hope that intolerance will continue to fade and haters will decline. Back in the 1970's, when I first took part in Gay Pride activities, mainly the Parade, the world was a less tolerate place in regard to many things, but sexual gender bending was looked at as disguisting & repulsive.

[Green_Eyed_Polock]

Thank you all for replying. It has given me more\less to think about. LOL


I think perhaps you are a bit paranoid as we've always been looked down by others and we trust less of people in general, this causes you to doubt.

I think Ezekiel hit the nail on the head, and why I am questioning the support. It's like I am waiting for the shoe to drop so to speak. Well I will take all the advice that has been given and try not to look over my shoulder and keep my eye's front.

Again thank you for all the good advice and I am sure I will be needing more. :)

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi GEP, Stop doing to much thinking and enjoy what a lucky person that you are to have that wonderful person in your life.

[MysticLady]

But here is my problem, since I have never had this (support) I find myself questioning why??


Hello Green

I too would be also if I found a beautiful woman that would "try" to understand us and would love and support us no matter what her mind may be wanting to tell her. I unfortuantly did not have that experience once I told my wife. Instead I was told that I need mental help and counciling. Anyway, have faith and embace your new found love and cherish her.

[CynthiaD]

You know how to handle rejection. Acceptance and support is new to you, and it's being on unfamiliar ground that's making you uncomfortable. Just relax and enjoy it. You'll learn how to handle this too.

[Abby Lauren]

I just wrote to you wondering how you got your SO's support. From this thread, I can see that you have no idea. Perhaps you need to ask Sam.