Man up!

[TGMarla]

Man up.
Grow a pair.
Show some sack.
Testicular fortitude.
Have some balls.
Don't be a pussy.

There are a long list of epithets that run along this same theme. In pro football, for instance, as the rules changed to protect the quarterbacks, one announcer proclaimed, "Quarterbacks should wear skirts!" as if to suggest that they might as well be women. Over and over in society we are presented daily with spoken and unspoken suggestions of how one must act if one is male, lest we be labelled as something less than a man, ie. a woman.

The really insulting thing is that this also suggests that women are somehow lesser beings than men, as though manhood is something that is strived for and attained, lest a person otherwise settle for mere womanhood. I was reading May(be)'s thread on how badly she wants to be a girl, and this of course elicited numerous responses, most of which agreed with her on one level or another. There are, of course, benefits to being either gender, but the one thing that irritates me about being male the most, other than not being able to dress and appear as I wish I could, is the social pressures that our society places upon men to "be men".

I wear pretty dresses because I like it. I enjoy it. It brings me pleasure. But this is highly frowned upon in "normal" social circles. Crossdressers, at least male to female crossdressers, are ridiculed and laughed at, called sissies, queers, pussies, and other derogatory names, while women who wear these same clothes are shown great courtesies, deference, and civility. Now, I did not, of course, grow up as a female, and I don't know first hand the pressures that girls place upon each other to "be female" as they go through their adolescence. (I think that any such pressures largely go away as women mature.) But I can report from my own experiences that boys place enormous pressures upon each other to prove their worthiness to "be men". And of course, that leads many boys to do some really dangerous, stupid things that can endanger their health and well-being. They play football, drink heavily, drive too fast, cliff-climb, and engage in "extreme" sporting activities, all while the girls watch them and shake their pretty little heads, wondering what kind of fools we all are. Sure, some of the girls may ooh and awww at their male counterparts' exploits, but most of them sigh and thank their stars they get to be girls instead.

And if any of the boys show any common sense and choose to NOT engage in any such behaviors, out come the epithets: Come on! Don't be a puss! Man up! Show some sack......etc.

I'm never going to be a woman. I cannot justify something as severe as transition just so that I can run around in high heels. But as a man, I sure could do without this idiotic social meme that elevates men over women in such derogatory ways. That's the one thing about being a man that I like least.

[Kate Simmons]

The truth is that women know the "real deal" and take it in stride Marla. How else would they be able to wear a lot of hats, run households, become family matriarchs and keep families together. All the while looking great. Despite the ritual I go through, I can't look as good as a woman on one of my best days. They know men are men in any case and take it all in stride. That, in my book, makes them the superior part of the species. If we would listen to our feelings for a change we may even approach the image of who we are trying to emulate. I personally think the best men in the world are those who have a taste of the life of the so-called "fair sex". But, hey what do I know? I'm just a "sissy", right? ;):battingeyelashes: :)

[kimdl93]

I've done all the dumb thinks you mention and it didn't make me one bit more manly nor for that matter didn't make me one iota better as a human being. Some of these silly and dangerous societal rituals probably derive from stone-age attempts to impress potential mates. Perhaps as we move along in the 21st Century women are finding demonstrations of this nature less appealing and are looking for something more in their companions. We'll see.

[Beverley Sims]

I will stick to Bungy jumping it does not have much of a following.
Jumping out of aeroplanes with a parachute is interesting.
You step out of t
..........................h
........................... e
................................pl
...................................an
........................................e!

[stacycoral]

Marla, girl that a great thread you wrote, wow, the truth too good to know, i must agree 150% on your statement, i am tried of hearing that myself, bring up my son, i never said any of those things because i know how it hurts, and yes May(be) thread is a good one to read also, thanks for oyur thoughts today, hugs girlfriend.

[Leslie Langford]

Amen, Sister, Amen! :thumbsup:

I feel exactly the same way, and the longer I crossdress and the more comfortable I become with it - including my growing acceptance of my fundamental transgendered nature - the more I appreciate women and the less I want to hang around with "the boys".

And despite the drama, mood swings, and hormonal-driven emotional roller-coaster rides that our female counterparts sometimes subject us to, I much prefer the company of women and generally consider them a more advanced form of life as far as the species homo sapiens (now there's an oxymoron!) is concerned.

I've never truly understood the "penis envy" concept. Yes, our appendages make it easier to pee standing up and write our names in the snow (although at my age, a stencil would be a definite asset to accomplish that :eek: :doh: :heehee:), but women also have us beaten when it comes to the intensity - and prolonging the enjoyment - of the sex act. Plus, they get to wear such nice clothes ;).

[Wildaboutheels]

For multiple tens of thousands of years, Men have been generally bigger, stronger and faster than women. It's only natural, that men will be seen as protectors...until men and women are of equal size and strength. I don't see that happening any time soon. It's also just one of the effects of testosterone, that "most" men will want/need to compete with other men in many different ways, many that seem pretty silly to many people.

Women generally compete with other women [for men] by trying to make thesmselves "more atractive". [Which undeniably gives them "more power" than a less attractive woman!] And there is the simple and CORRECT answer why women have so much more selection and variety in their clothing choices, hairstyles, use of makeup, body shapers etc. Females utilize all that stuff because THEY are the ones who NEED it. If women were as visual as men, men would have just as many options. IF it would help men in any way to dress "flashy", far more of them would.

Men generally don't dress to please women becuase it's generally not that big a deal to most women. I'd be willing to bet a year's pay, that should a "ton of attractive women" come out next month all over the internet, in magazines, in movies and on TV, and proclaim they love to see men, in heels, pantyhose and skirts, you would see the shelves empty of such items and that you would see most single guys wearing such stuff.

[joank]

Wow Marla,
You remember John Brodie, QB for the 49ers back in the 60's (maybe the late 50's). He is the one with the skirt comment and I heard it as well.

[ReluctantDebutant]

But I can report from my own experiences that boys place enormous pressures upon each other to prove their worthiness to "be men". And of course, that leads many boys to do some really dangerous, stupid things that can endanger their health and well-being. They play football, drink heavily, drive too fast, cliff-climb, and engage in "extreme" sporting activities,

Sure to look at those examples the whole attacking one's male pride can seem rather ridiculous. But this is just practice for when it really counts for society. Look at it this way "grow a pair" and take down that mammoth equals food for the tribe for the next few days." Man up" and assaults that German machine gun nest equals one step closer to the end of World War II. "Don't wuss out" and demand that well-deserved raise from your boss equals more money to take home to the family.


If men are to be accused of believing women are less than men then women are guilty of believing men are less than women. I'd seen this plenty of times young women accusing other women with derision of being manly for not dressing feminently, not wearing makeup, playing sports, engaging in "manly" careers, not able to find a boyfriend, for looking ugly, and a whole list of other things. Yes to the female side, for a girl to act less than girly means she is less than a girl she must be a man or manly or lesbian. This judgment I've seen is usually passed with more scorn than it is with a guy calling another guy a sissy.

[Stephanie47]

"It takes a man with balls to wear a dress!"

[Tamara Croft]

Man up.
Grow a pair.
Show some sack.
Testicular fortitude.
Have some balls.
Don't be a pussy.

Thing is with these sayings, they aren't just said to men anymore, I've heard women say that stuff to women, I've said it myself to other women. I wouldn't take any notice of it anymore, they mean nothing. :)

[Badtranny]

Here's the problem; Most men are testosterone fueled lunkheads who would rather get punched in the face than wear a skirt. Personally I like that arrangement. Just because I grew up kinda wimpy and was forced to learn to fight the hard way doesn't mean that all men should start blowing kisses to each other and wearing pastels.

Men are men. They're rough on each other and they're rough on themselves and if you don't want to play by those rules than just say so. Of course the real problem is playing by your own rules takes courage.

[Marleena]

Here's the problem; Most men are testosterone fueled lunkheads who would rather get punched in the face than wear a skirt. Personally I like that arrangement. Just because I grew up kinda wimpy and was forced to learn to fight the hard way doesn't mean that all men should start blowing kisses to each other and wearing pastels.

Men are men. They're rough on each other and they're rough on themselves and if you don't want to play by those rules than just say so. Of course the real problem is playing by your own rules takes courage.


Lol..right to the point, almost choked on my coffee!:D

[kellycan27]

Misty

And that' just the way I like them yummmmmmm! :daydreaming:

[AllieSF]

I must have grown up with a sheltered life. I don't remember all those "be a man" comments from my friends or others. Yes, I have heard that one should man up when some difficult or risky task is at hand that just needs to get done, but not as a derogatory comment to another male. As Tamara said, I have seen it used a lot by women as they take on other normally male responsibilities. To me it has just become a statement to say, let's get on with it so we can finish whatever "it" is and go home. As Melissa says, maleness is also a needed ingredient in life, just as femininity is.

Marla, I do not believe that these types of phrases are meant to elevate men over women in some type of hierarchy or as a derogatory statement about women and their roles in life. We all have our own roles and in today's world many of the m are intermingling, but a woman still needs a male involvement and vice versa for a male to procreate. Those roles are not anticipated to change in the near future, at least as far as I know. Some people may interpret it that way, but I do not. Sometimes it sounds like a male is complaining about not being able to wear women's clothes in public, when they actually can if they had the "balls" to do it, while at the same time pick on men for looking down on women. I really do not see that connection. Like Nike likes to advertise, just do it and get over it.

[KatieGG]

I don't find it insulting, and I say some of them a lot too.

[NicoleScott]

Man up.
Grow a pair.
Show some sack.
Testicular fortitude.
Have some balls.
Don't be a pussy.


Remember the OJ trial when Johnnie Cochran accused Marcia Clark of being "hysterical"? The prosecution team wanted Ito to punish Cochran for the sexist remark. And, separately, Gloria Allred (surprise surprise) also jumped all over it. Apparently, sexist remarks are not allowed, at least those kinds. Yet, I hear women say "man up" a lot, even at least one woman politician challenging her male opponent to "man up".

[Marleena]

My wife just walked in out of the cold and said she was "freezing her balls off". True story, and great timing!:)

[Rachel Ro]

I work in a traditionally male dominated field but in my instance the people in leadership roles are mostly women and the phrase I hear the most is " Put your big girl panties on and let's get to work". It always brings a smile because I always have my big girl panties on.

[docrobbysherry]

The facts r, Marla MOST men r not very macho. And, it has little to do with how they dress!

Personally, I tried all kinds of wild things when I was younger. Not to impress anyone but for the RUSH!

Same RUSH I get now from dressing!

But now, I'm more likely to sprain a finger from corsetting than break an ankle from jumping off a building, etc. Anyone here or anywhere who thinks I'm NOT a type A macho man? They'll get no argument from me! I never thot I was or tried to be.

[Betty_42]

I feel that one must rise above social norms and expectations, especially to do "what we all like to do." That said, I actually participate in bondage and fetish activities and I find it to be downright misogynistic when people say that me being girlie is somehow demeaning. It's what I like to do! Plain and simple! That said, it's also interesting to note that within these circles, cross dressers like myself refer to each other as "sissies" and "gurls" as some sort of badge of honor. I imagine it's kinda like African Americans and the "N word" really? We're just taking it, and making it our own! I'd suggest you vanilla cross dressers do the same you silly sissy gurls you!

[Tamara Croft]

My wife just walked in out of the cold and said she was "freezing her balls off". True story, and great timing!:)
I have actually said something similar a few times... like 'if I had balls, they'd be freezing right about now'... lol ;)

[Marleena]

I have actually said something similar a few times... like 'if I had balls, they'd be freezing right about now'... lol ;)

She sure made me laugh and I had just read this thread. It's funnier hearing it from you ladies.:)

[Jaymees22]

I may have over compensated when I was younger, I joined a group that said they were "looking for a few good men". Then I actually got promoted early for an outstanding "Junk on the Bunk" which consisted of displaying all your clothes and gear on your bunk. I really knew how to fold things neatly compared to everyone else. I wonder where that ability came from, I think I know now. I did manage to fit in and I think because it was more like Gomer Pyle's USMC than the Full Metal Jacket Marines. Jaymee

[Kate Simmons]

I have actually said something similar a few times... like 'if I had balls, they'd be freezing right about now'... lol ;)Yeah, if you really want 'em they can be found at "Balls Are Us!":heehee::)

[Jamie001]

I believe that women are far superior to men. Take for example violent crime. 95 percent of all violent crimes are committed by men. I believe that men commit more crimes because they are taught that it is masculine to express themselves through violence. In other words, society's expectations foster and condone violence in men. I have been called a sissy and a pussy and don't consider either term to be derogatory because it is who I am.

[Angela Campbell]

I have been hearing these type of comments all my life. I grew up in a time and place where women were thought of as less than a man in many ways.....why then, have I always wanted to be one?

[BLUE ORCHID]

My wife just walked in out of the cold and said she was "freezing her balls off". True story, and great timing!:)

Hi Marleena, My wife came in and said the same thing to me , (( I laughed I had TWO )) .

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Marla, You just have to wonder how many of those big mouth a$$ holes have a pair of slingbacks in their closets

[sometimes_miss]

<snip> Now, I did not, of course, grow up as a female, and I don't know first hand the pressures that girls place upon each other to "be female" as they go through their adolescence. (I think that any such pressures largely go away as women mature.)
Come on now, sure you know. Girls constantly criticize each other's choices in attire, hairstyles, make up, shoes, (not to mention who's engagement ring is better, who's boyfriend/fiance/husband is a better 'catch') etc.. Then add in the way they one up each other about having kids, how they raise their kids, how they dress their kids, how well their kids have done as far as school, profession and relationship, not to mention how many grandchildren those kids have 'given her'. Females put each other down just as much males, just with different qualifiers as to what makes each individual a better representitive of his or her sex. The number one 'failure' as a woman in the eyes of other women? Being unable to attract a suitable mate, and not getting married. Women define themselves by their relationships, and not being able to get married is the biggest loss there is.



Men generally don't dress to please women becuase it's generally not that big a deal to most women. I'd be willing to bet a year's pay, that should a "ton of attractive women" come out next month all over the internet, in magazines, in movies and on TV, and proclaim they love to see men, in heels, pantyhose and skirts, you would see the shelves empty of such items and that you would see most single guys wearing such stuff.
Probably not. Despite women proclaiming the desire for 'sensitive men' back in the middle of last century, they didn't actually follow up on it, they still went for the traditionally macho variety; soldiers, sports heroes, cops, firemen, and of course the corporate raiders who made tons of cash by trampling on other people's lives. Women didn't really want sensitive men; they wanted a guy who was nice to her (but was a real prick to the rest of the world) so that she could live the good life, and she didn't give a rat's ass about all the misery experienced by those disenfranchised souls who 'her hubby' put out of work on his way to the top.
So while the fashion and theatrical world (and all the celebrities who embody it) might say one thing, in general, guys are going to continue to do whatever it is that gets them laid. Nice guys, and fem guys, still finish last the vast majority of the time.

[Marleena]

Hi Marleena, My wife came in and said the same thing to me , (( I laughed I had TWO )) .

Lol.. It's hilarious when the women do that! Good comeback, too.:)

[Nikki Rich]

I try to not let that kind of stuff bother me , I'm prone to say it to one of my buddies from time to time.Just because I like to wear women's clothes doesn't change the fact that I am still male and this is just something that's inside everyone , Hell my wife tells me all the time to grow a pair or pull my big girl panties up. I only take offense to it when it's used in a derogatory manner , which most of the time it's just guys being guys.Just my 2 cents , don't let the little things drag you down.

[Rachel Morley]

I believe that women are far superior to men. Take for example violent crime. 95 percent of all violent crimes are committed by men. I believe that men commit more crimes because they are taught that it is masculine to express themselves through violence. In other words, society's expectations foster and condone violence in men.
I agree with this comment. :)

[Frédérique]

Ah, it’s a snowy day here in central Kansas, but warm and cozy in my little closeted enclave, the perfect environment to craft a response to a MEANINGFUL post…


In pro football, for instance, as the rules changed to protect the quarterbacks, one announcer proclaimed, "Quarterbacks should wear skirts!" as if to suggest that they might as well be women.

Once upon a time, I wrote a thread OP about that utterance. At least you know who, or what, you’re dealing with. It takes a lot of energy trying to be philosophical about this…


The really insulting thing is that this also suggests that women are somehow lesser beings than men, as though manhood is something that is strived for and attained, lest a person otherwise settle for mere womanhood. There are, of course, benefits to being either gender, but the one thing that irritates me about being male the most, other than not being able to dress and appear as I wish I could, is the social pressures that our society places upon men to "be men".

Of course, it’s OK for a girl to be a tomboy, isn’t it? She’s “strong-willed.” Does that make the MtF crossdresser WEAK willed? I’ll tell you, so-called real men should try crossdressing to see and appreciate how difficult it is. I think it takes a special kind of courage that is common to both genders, but marginalized by those who create societal pressure…


But I can report from my own experiences that boys place enormous pressures upon each other to prove their worthiness to "be men". And of course, that leads many boys to do some really dangerous, stupid things that can endanger their health and well-being. They play football, drink heavily, drive too fast, cliff-climb, and engage in "extreme" sporting activities, all while the girls watch them and shake their pretty little heads, wondering what kind of fools we all are. Sure, some of the girls may ooh and awww at their male counterparts' exploits, but most of them sigh and thank their stars they get to be girls instead.

I must say that there are many women who do dangerous, stupid, and life-threatening things, just like their male counterparts. However, when men do stupid (and noisy) things, they are either asserting themselves within a group, trying to fit in as best they can, or just hoping to not stick out too much (and thus become a target). It’s programmed dulling of the senses, lest these precious senses call the shots and turn everyone’s world upside down. At the end of the day, a male has to get along with other males, so he goes along with their stupid ideas for the sake of expediency. I should know – I’ve done plenty of stupid male things in my time, but, at the end of the day, I never fit in. I wound up shaking MY pretty little head! Oh, what a fool I’m NOT…
:hmph:


And if any of the boys show any common sense and choose to NOT engage in any such behaviors, out come the epithets: Come on! Don't be a puss! Man up! Show some sack......etc.

Whenever this happened to me, I would cry, and the blustery male exhorting me would often drop his façade of manliness and show compassion – it’s a beautiful thing, to be sure…


I'm never going to be a woman. I cannot justify something as severe as transition just so that I can run around in high heels. But as a man, I sure could do without this idiotic social meme that elevates men over women in such derogatory ways. That's the one thing about being a man that I like least.

I can’t watch TV for five minutes without being reminded that I have certain “obligations” to my birth gender, time is slipping away, and I'm letting the side down in some way. I think it’s a sexual game being played over and over, and the original meaning of this “event” has lost its significance – if men stop being men, according to the dictates of society, the whole house of cards may collapse. Is there anyone here who feels that this man, and this woman, should not be joined together? NO? Well, let’s actually join them together, for all time, and create heaven on Earth. Sounds good to me…

[Badtranny]

I’ll tell you, so-called real men should try crossdressing to see and appreciate how difficult it is. I think it takes a special kind of courage that is common to both genders, but marginalized by those who create societal pressure…]

NO

It takes courage to assert yourself as an individual. To Let your freak flag fly, as it were.

Anything less is just secret playtime.

[Melora]

Awesome Post Marla!
When I read this thread about Man Up.. I want to bring attention to the Other side of things...
I was watching Satellite TV a few days ago.. The channel was the Military Channel.. The show/Subject was TANKS! On the show was a cute little dark haired lady & Officer, who was showing the Show a MEREKAVA Battle tank, I think it was. She knew everything about it & I am sure that she is one hell of a warrior too! In Israel, Everybody goes to Military & everybody learns how to Fight.. Because they have to, with Palastine on their boarders. Maybe America should do the same.. Maybe there would not be such a huge difference amongst the sexes as well, = I dont know? Not likely as America has this huge Crush against personal weapons and guns and such.. Maybe we are becoming a bunch of pussies! As Obama and the Government want us to be.. = Harmless against Tyranny!
Anyways..
Girls should be encouraged to MAN-UP! and take on more masculine roles! We would not have won the 2nd Great War without our Women... Period!. They Proudly served and helped us from Mechanics to Medical.
I am proud to be a Man! I also have the Feminine side of me to prove it too. I have a couple of cracked ribs from a mosh pit about a week ago to show that I still do stupid manly things as well as dress up like a girl.
The best of both lives for Sure! I do not want to be a woman.. I like being a guy and the parts that come with it! But I Love to look and act like a woman sometimes! ;)
Katie