Children and Crossdressing

[Melissa Anne]

Hi Ladies,

This thread may have been discussed in the forum before, but I am relatively new here so forgive me if I am beating a dead horse. My wife and I are expecting our first child in April and the question has come up of how to address (if at all) the CDing issue with our children. My question is have any of you had any experiences with this? Do your children know about your CDing? Are they OK with it? Is it good to share this with them, and, if so, at what age? I'd love to hear what you all think.

Thanks,
Melissa

[DonnaD]

Both my girls are still a bit young to tell them or have them find out 4 and 7 is a bit young yet for the understanding purposes.

Of course, no one knows about me yet lol .


Donna

[Lawren]

I can't help you with that one Melissa. Right now I have no kids that I know about. :D

LoL, Lawren

[Rachel Elizabeth]

I have not seen it work well with young children. It often doesn't work well with adult children. Gender, however, seems to make girls more understanding than boys.

Young children will think nothing of it if you dress normally. They will believe that that is normal....until they start visiting other homes and talking about their parents or home life. While it may make no difference to the child, the other children AND their parents can make it very uncomfortable. On the play ground, someone will taunt the child about their "daddy" being a "mommy" [or worse.] They will share the story until it can become quite widespread.

I have met other CDs who have shared their knowledge with their children but those children have all been in their teens. The boys were threatened; the girls were surprised and expressed hurt but came around.

I have three children - all adults. If they know, they didn't find out from me. Telling the truth doesn't mean you have to tell everything.

Hugs....

[Tyler]

If you get a boy: Tell him while he's young, and if he ever wants to be like ole dad, Let him...

If you get a gal: Tell her when she turns 11, She will have been a gal for long enough and understand you...


I wonder if my GF is a lesbo.. She kisses me while I'm in Full girl drag.. Hmm.. :)

[Wenda]

Hi Ladies,

This thread may have been discussed in the forum before, but I am relatively new here so forgive me if I am beating a dead horse. My wife and I are expecting our first child in April and the question has come up of how to address (if at all) the CDing issue with our children. My question is have any of you had any experiences with this? Do your children know about your CDing? Are they OK with it? Is it good to share this with them, and, if so, at what age? I'd love to hear what you all think.

Thanks,
Melissa
Hi Melissa, I suspect one of the reasons that I so enjoy crossdressing is because my mom was so dominant and so deviant (Holly sh!t!! I just realized that my mom, my aunt and my grandmother were CD!!!!!!!!!!!! wow....Holy cow..... that is... like.,,, revelation..Thank You!!!!(. The only thing that I have not forgiven her for, however, (she passed away in 1995) ) is sharing too many adult things with me.
In my community, many of my classmates' fathers were not their biological fathers.... doesn't win you browny points to point that out! I would say (my kids are grown, at least one is CD) don't MAKE it into an issue. Don't force it on them before they have a context in which to understand it. Don't give them a big, dark secret to carry. Little kids think that secrets are valuable and powerful, which they are, and want to share them with others.
I think Tyler is pretty close, only don't tell the boy too young. Don't forget where you live. Disney et al have created a very powerful image of what a dad is, and he sure as hell isn't wearing a lace bra and panties. In Utah, Montana, Alberta, etc, he is wearing blue jeans, boots, a hat or hard hat, and keeps lacey things and thoughts to himself. If you just relax and enjoy it, you will know when the time has come. (no star wars themes...) just from personal experience. wenda

[clarissa3d]

Well I have two childeren and when my wife and I had split up after a major falling out, she told both my childeren, my son has not made mention of my dressing but my 5 year old daughter has just outright made statements about my dressing. My daughter is a real fire bug
She calls me maudy isnt that cute

I guess the thing is I had no choice but I would suggest to wait until they can make there own minds or at least be old enough to some what comprehend it.

I hope that helps.
Clarissa

[Julie]

This is a tricky one. Unless you live in a CD/TG community :rolleyes: your kids will be exposed to people who for the most part are uneducated about TG issues and will have prejudices and misconceptions they will pass on to their kids. When your kids are with their friends there will most likely come a time when "proper attire" comes up. At that time your kids will have to be prepared to handle the situation, regardless of their age.

Here's a link to an article (http://www.rainbowtrail.info/july.html) where a couple told their children. Good luck and I wish you and your family all the best.

[Melissa Anne]

Hi ladies,

Thank you all for your advice and thoughts on this subject. My wife and I have pretty much decided not to tell our children about my cding, at least until they are older. We plan on having one weekend a month when we will send the kids to grandma's house and I will be able to dress for a while :). Hopefully this will work ok. Both my wife and I feel that kids have too much to deal with these days without having to worry about something like having a TG parent. Thanks again for all of your thoughts and advice.

Melissa

[Marianne]

I have four kids. (One of my own, plus three step kids).

ages are 19, 26,30 and 34 tho.

Youngest said she 'suspected' after I came out, then told me I looked 'gorgeous' when I first showed her a picture.

Eldest said "whatever floats yer boat Pops!"

Second youngest said something like "ok, that explains a couple of things, no big deal tho".

I've yet to have the conversation with the last one.

I'd say wait until they're 'old enough to understand', which is a judgement call on your part. Some kids are 'old enough to understand' at 12, some have to be much older, some can be much younger.

[Cami]

Kids are smarter than we think. If they grow up in a family with a CD or TG as a parent or gaurdian, they will turn out to be the best they can be in a loving home. I'm no therapyst but I think if you try to hide the truth from them that would be the problem. My best friend (male) was raised by a CD hetero male (his dad) and a Lesbian ( room mate) . He is married with kids today and does not have any desire to try my lifestyle (CD). Trust them with the truth, Thats about all I've learned from my experience. I was not influienced by his home, I started CD'ing at age 12 with my friend at the time (female). She dressed me up in her clothes for lack of anything better to do, but thats another story.... :)

[Jerry]

I have 4 kids under 12. I have no plans to tell them anything. Every.
If it comes up some day, I'll cross that bridge when I get there.

I agree with Rachel Elizabeth, not everything that is true needs to be said.

By the way, once they get into school, it opens up a lot of time.

It may be counterproductive to our dreamy world where gender doesn't matter, but give the one we're in, I go with discression.

Hog hugs, Jerry

[Sharon]

I have three kids, grown and out of the house. I also have four grandchildren and four nephews who are almost like my own in many ways. I have never confided this part of my life with them and I have absolutely no desire to. I have only been dressing as often as I currently am for the past year-and-a-half, and everyone knows to call before visiting because I work at home and I need time to finish up whatever project I'm working on. That's the story I tell them anyway.
I want to be nothing but Dad or Pop-Pop to them. Pop-Pop Sharon just doesn't work. :)

[Rachel_740]

Hi Girls,

My Boys are 8 and 9 and they seem to go through good and bad times with Rachel. Having said that, as you will know, I am further down the road than just CD

Rachel

[Sweet Susan]

If you are going tell a child, at least wait until the child is old enough to figure things out for himself or herself. Much too big of a burden for any adolescent to carry around, to say nothing of an elementary kid. I've three sons, and I don't feel a need to tell any of them. Telling them could be construed as selfish, depending on how they take it.

[Sierra]

When kids see it from day 1 on [say shoes,under garmets,sleepware,boobs that are real] they may not grasp why but they come to accept daddy likes girls stuff and even laugh and tease.So they have honesty and with me a masculine role model that also enjoys pretty things who may wear some girls stuff and yet a dad who is a lumberjack,ironworker,good at waterskiing and handyman trades.A good parent instills God love in their children and love,values and respect for others so they see what is more important than clothing.

[Tamara Croft]

Our daughter is 10 years old and she calls Tammy a girlie... now I don't know where she gets her ideas from, but she often says 'when you gonna dress dad up in girlz clothes!!!' Now either she has seen her one night sneaking into the bathroom or she just has some weird thing going on in that head of hers. I think at her age she could handle the fact that Tammy is a CD, as for our other daughter who is 16 (and don't I know it!!!) I don't think it would look 'good' for her 'image'!!! You know what teenagers are like... *looks for the valium* J/K :p

I suppose telling your children at a young age, depends on how much of your neighbourhood you want to know that you crossdress and if it's accepted as part of the norm where you live. As you know we live in a cruel world and children can be so cruel to other children. Hopefully, in a few years it will be accepted as a normal thing, but for now I would be cautious and think very carefully if it's the right thing to do, not for yourself, but for your childs own protection.

Tamara x

[Sharon]

arghhhhhhh!!!? Tamara -- you okay?

It's the fear of the kid's loose lips that initially prevented me from telling them or letting them see me. The kids were great (still are!!TG!), but all they would ever have to do was make some simple comment and their lives may well have ended up much differently. Other children may have done terrible things to them. or at least been nasty and cruel. And I wouldn't he surprised if their friend's parents would have disallowed any further friendship.
Telling them would have been selfish.

[Tamara Croft]

I guess it's up to us really to make the next generation accept that CD'ing is normal and there is nothing wrong with it. Unless we make the first move with our children, how will things progress into the future??? But then there are the parents who are totally against it and like you say Sharon, parents will stop their children playing with your children, then the neighbours start talking... it's like a vicious circle that I can see no end to :( Maybe we should buy an Island for us all to go live on and do wtf we like with no one to answer to!! Life would be so much simpler :)

Tamara x