Does crossdressing make you less of a man ?

[Nikki Rich]

It's a simple question right ? I personally don't feel it makes me any less a man. What defines us as a man ? Besides our plumbing. Women can do anything we can do , so what's so special about us ? I drive a dump truck and I work with women that can drive just as good if not better than most of the men I work with. Just some food for thought and curios to see what y'all think.

[ArleneRaquel]

Living and dressing female makes me feel whole. I don't care if it makes me less of a man, people will think whatever feeds their prejudices. I have to live my life as I see fit as long as I don't harm anyone else.

[Jamie001]

Living and dressing female makes me feel whole. I don't care if it makes me less of a man, people will think whatever feeds their prejudices. I have to live my life as I see fit as long as I don't harm anyone else.

Amen. The way that I see it is that crossdressing makes me more of a woman and that is a good thing.

[Missy]

for me cross-dressing has made me more of a man then I ever thought of after so many years of struggle I am glad I am who I am

[Calisol01]

I feel its made me a better person in general

[Gretchen_To_Be]

My belief is that it makes me a better, more whole person. For years I was the rough, gruff type of macho man that suppressed these thoughts and feelings. 25 years in the Army. I was a Paratrooper, a Drill Sergeant. On the civilian side a respected business executive. There is only one person on Earth that knows about this, my wife. Married 12 years and we have 3 beautiful children together. I am an excellent, loving husband, father, and provider. I respect, no revere women greatly, especially my wife. I am far more a man--even though I thoroughly enjoy shaving my legs, wearing sheer hose with stiletto pumps, dresses, skirts, etc.--than many insecure macho types that treat women like excrement and think that makes them more manly.

[CarolynO]

That's just what I want it to do.I wish while I'm dressed real breasts,curves,vagina,alabaster skin,silky hair and overall physique would appear and my maleness underneath would disappear.:praying:

[KatieGG]

I don't think it makes my husband any less of a man. He makes me feel safe he provides for me and makes me feel like a princess every day.

[SarahMarie42]

I hope it does for me >_> <_<

[Beverley Sims]

No less a man but certainly more woman.
Have been for years.

[Dana L]

With any hope Yes! Seriously though, is it less of a man to be more gentile, more careing, more in touch with your emotions, or even closer to your wife? I've been a man long enough. It's time to be the woman that's traped inside. Expectations for men are just too primitive. I'm much happier as a woman and feel complete. I do everthing that any husband and father would do only I'm able to be a much better person when I'm able to be the woman inside.

[Brittany CD]

Not at all. Nothing about me is feminine and most people view me as masculine. I just happen to like women's clothes

[NathalieX66]

I don't feel less of a man.....I feel more whole as a person.

[SandraV]

Maybe so, however I could care less. It does make me whole as a person, which is all that matters to me.

[Nicole Erin]

Yes, I am afraid so. One night your equipment might fall off when you are asleep.

[UNDERDRESSER]

My GF certainly doesn't think it makes me less of a man.

[Rachel Morley]

Does crossdressing make you less of a man ?
I sure hope so! My goal is to be more like a woman in how I am in a general sense, that includes how I think and act in boy mode too as well as girl mode. I want to less like the men I know.

[prene]

I don't think it makes my husband any less of a man. He makes me feel safe he provides for me and makes me feel like a princess every day.

I wish there were more gg's out there like U.

[linda's angel]

no, it does not make feel less of a man if anything it makes me think like a woman and I can understand them in certain situations.

[Ceri Anne]

It takes a real man to have the courage to crossdress.......lol. As a CD and not Transgender or TS, I've stated I embrace both sides of my personality, masculine and feminine. There are typical male behaviors.....hunting, fishing, building and fixing cars that "define" parts of manhood, but just as I am a great cook, I know women who really enjoy and are good at those activities also. Some of them are very girly girls also, not just tom boys. Danica Patric comes to mind this week. I believe being CD makes me a better man, since I don't have the need to hide my femine traits I can be more open when in male mode, I am not threatened by showing my feelings, talking and such. Boys are taught to suck it up, hide your pain and feelings, present as macho..........I've grown past that to accept others, and share the real me. I've actually become more confident since I started dressing regularly.

[Nikki50/50]

Visually, and self-definitive? Yeah...It does. But I thought that was the point. LOL!
:P

[AmyGaleRT]

Less of a man? No. When I deconstruct back to drab mode, I'm the same man I was. But I do hope that crossdressing does make me more of a woman. Ultimately, I'd like to be able to handle myself in either role, and use the experiences of both halves of my soul to enhance my total self.

- Amy

[docrobbysherry]

Does dressing make me less of a man? NO!

Being less of a man, period, makes me less of a man!

[Diversity]

I second ArleneRaquel's reply, as it is how I feel also. Being a CD'r does not make me any less of a man, as I have not changed in being a man, I have just come to terms with an added dimension of who I really am, and am able to express this dimension with a degree of comfort and conviction. I feel much more at peace and a much more balanced person in all.
Di

[Eryn]

Does crossdressing make you less of a man?

I certainly hope so! :)

When I'm dressed I'm not a man. Getting that thought out of my head makes it easier to interact with society with confidence. I'm just me, and they will have to accept me as I am. A large, non-beautiful GG doesn't worry about passing. She just does it. I try to follow that path.

Now, when I am not dressed I can be as manly as is required by the circumstances. I have decades of experience in acting manly and it's no trick at all.

[PaulaQ]

I'm not sure how to answer this question. I think in other people's eyes (society in general, not you lovely ladies), the answer would be overwhelming "oh hell yes it makes me less of a man."

However, it begs the question "how much of a man am I to begin with?" Because surely before we can say whether or not we are any less, we need a baseline for comparison.

On the one hand, I hate sports. Period. Pretty much all of them. I can't actually fix **** around the house. I am very sentimental and I cry in movies. I like to avoid conflict when possible. Not very manly, really.

On the other hand, I mostly deal with unwanted critters around here. I like knives and multitools. (Ironic since I really am inept at repair!) I've fathered a son, raised him and another - by all accounts was an OK dad. I like sportscars and stuff that goes fast. I deal with the yard. I cook outdoors, over flame.

So I don't really know how to answer the question.

edit: I'm over thinking this a lot. If this doesn't make you less of a man and more of a woman, at least for a while anyway, well, it seems like a somewhat pointless activity. :)

[TxCassie]

Less of a man for dressing as a woman. MMMM Good Question. I believe I am all the man I ever am going to be. Allowing Cassie to emerge at times in this period of of my life (I'm 53yrs), is allowing me to be the woman that was was always there but never allowed to develop.

I believe each of us are different in the gender scale. If you know deep down your masculine self is a facade, then you never were. Is sort of like when I came to terms being gay. I had a sad, angry feeling I gave being "a man", gave up fighting to be straight, I gave up being straight, but I never was straight, so how can you lose what you don't have.

I have masculine features, I live as a male, I feel male, I react like a male, I think like a male, I even like other males (HA! :heehee:) But, allowing Cassie to emerge, slipping on my nylons and things, doesn't destroy or lessen my manhood, it develops my feminine womanhood. For Cassie is part of me, the flip-side of the same coin. I had a continuous thought when I first began seriously dressing,

I never realize how much of a man I was until I tried to be a woman but I always known how much of a woman I could be every minute I am a man.

Confused yet, honey? :eek:

It's not that you're losing your manhood, you're merging your womanhood to co-exist with your manhood.

Now as I said, dressing may have started allowing you to feel, realize, become aware of feelings, desires, realities, that you were not totally aware, or figured out yet. In such, you may feel like you're becoming less of a man or is it, you're just letting go a false sense of self you held on and used, to keep the peace in your head, your family, your life in general.

Are you a man in the traditional sense, NO,that's obvious. Does that make you less, only you can measure and decide that. Remember, no one can make you less unless you allow it.

Be kind to yourself dear.

Cassie :love:

[katlee]

I think it really depends on the type of the reason why you CD. Some will do it try to be another persona. If you are doing this you are doing everything to reduce your masculinity. I just think of the thing that I am proud of in male mode, I try to tuck back and hide when I am in Kat mode. However, I don't think that this makes my male side less masculine. I treat the two sides separatley.

[PaulaQ]

I treat the two sides separatley.

Well, I think that's what I'm doing too - but you know, when I think about it, I wonder if that's really the case?

[noeleena]

Hi,

What if your not a man to start with, does the clothes have a bearing then ,if i wear male clothes does that change any thing about who i am as a person, So take away the clothes what then does that change the part of you that is the core person, of who you are,

If i wear a sack as in sack cloth & ash's I maybe humiliated & thought of as... weird , i am any way... so no it does not change who i am,

For males i dont see a change in the person or makes you any less of a male,

...noeleena...

[vivianann]

Only if you want to be less of a man

[Breeze]

My husband is more of a man now than when he was denying who he really was.
He is a man and a CDer and he is a lot happier with himself.
He knows who he is and that is a caring father a considerate friend and a compassionate husband.
He can still be a grumpy git on occasions but can't we all!!!
He makes me feel safe and loved and that is who he is a CD man. :)

[LilSissyStevie]

I think this is a case of having the cart before the horse.

[Kate Simmons]

Not unless crossdressing makes you less of a woman as well.:battingeyelashes::)

[Lynn Marie]

Ever notice how men have this deathly fear of appearing sensitive or feminine in any way? I no longer have that fear. Confidence and fearlessness are a powerful aphrodisiac. I'm more man, and woman for that matter, than I ever was.

[kimdl93]

I've rephrased that expression to say...makes you a better person. The other way does imply there's something special about being male.

[Asche]

My first reaction to this question was to pull up my skirt and check -- yep, sure looks like I'm as much a man as ever (FWIW).

My second was to think: in the years since I started wearing skirts & stuff, there's gotten to be a bit too much of me (but remember: correlation != causation.) I (especially my knees and ankles!) could really afford to be a bit "less" of a man.

My third thought was: if being "less of a man" means being less like certain "manly" men (whose names I won't mention, but you can probably think of quite a few, too), then maybe being "less of a man" is a Good Thing(tm).

[MissTee]

I don't think so. Asked my wife and she said I'm not less of anything, and that I am simply more complete and so is my wardrobe :battingeyelashes:

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Nikki, When I take off my bra and pantyhose I'm as manly as the next guy.

[Stephanie Miller]

I'm very much less of a man when I'm being a woman. (That's the whole point, isn't it?) As much so that I am very much less of a woman when being a man. Both sides of me need to be the best, and most complete, that I am for those whose lives I impact (self included). They deserve it, as much as I do.

[Nikki Rich]

So far some great answers , I'm still early in my " coming out " process I repressed these feelings for so long , which is something that I deeply regret. I know I'll be a better person when I can truly stop repressing my inner female side and inbrace what we all love so much about the women we are trying to be more like , whether its the way we dress or the way we act. Having some female traits is a good thing in my opinion.

[Marissa V]

not sure if it makes me a lesser man, but it does make me a 'more complete' person. Now if that were to mean that it does take away some of the man...so be it. I really dont care wich of 2 personas has the upper hand, my male self and my femme side complete the person, and thats all that matters to me.

[genevie]

Sorry. I'm stuck being a womanly man and a manly woman. I wish I could be more of a womanly woman. But I certainly don't want to be a more manly man. Tried that for many years. Tiring. Right now I love the feeling of my breasts pressed against the table as I type this. Do I wish they were real? Yep. But then I wouldn't be a man anymore. That won't work with my wife. Would I cry if the parts fell off overnight. Not so much. Would I like being scared and feeling weak when going out? No. Do I revel in sometimes feeling like a powerful male? Yep. Would I revel in feeling like a beautiful woman? Yes, please. A lot of contradictions. I cry when I have to take off the girl stuff. I can't wait for the one day a week when I can put it all back on. Can we be both and do both well? I'm not sure what that means. I do know that I'm getting more and more womanly when in man mode. Feels great. Freeing. Free your mind. You might not be able to have the body, but you can have the thoughts and feelings and a better approach to life and the world.

[Lacyfem]

Well I guess I'm like Jekell and Hyde. When I'm not dressed I'm all man and when dressed I'm all woman. Think this is true of most cds.

[Jamie001]

Since I am a feminine male all of the time, I don't have two personalities. I am just my normal sissy self all of the time. It is wonderful to be yourself without having to worry about switching back and forth between masculine and feminine mode like most folks on this forum.

[Lorileah]

All the songs that come to mind here.

Define man, define woman, define less.

[CynthiaD]

I think that accepting myself as a Crossdresser has made it easier to be manly. When I was in denial, I always had a hard time figuring out how to react to things. Once I realized that I was female inside, and that the manliness was largely an act, I found it much easier to play the man part. I could separate my male feelings from my female feelings much more easily, and it became easier to see which was which.

[Julie Denier]

Well I guess I'm like Jekell and Hyde. When I'm not dressed I'm all man and when dressed I'm all woman. Think this is true of most cds.

This is certainly true in my case. I'm really not the least bit feminine as a man.

[Reba Kay]

I don't think it make you any less at all. I was always told, " It Takes A Real Man, To Wear A Dress"

[JadeEmber]

All the songs that come to mind here.

Define man, define woman, define less.

Yeah, really, this is my immediate response. I'm not even sure what those terms mean, except with respect to how a culture in some place at some particular time views it on average.

It's interesting to ask how people feel about it -- some people say they think CD'ers mostly feel one way or another, sometimes based on responses to these types of threads, but it's hard to say. We don't really have enough of a sampling of behavior. Some people exhibit dual behavior and are quite different, some don't. I, for example, don't really change. But then, it's sometimes confusing as to whether or not I'm CD'ing or not. How much do you have to wear to break the barrier between men and women?

[IngeInCO]

Well I guess I'm like Jekell and Hyde. When I'm not dressed I'm all man and when dressed I'm all woman. Think this is true of most cds.

I'm all man all the time, no matter what I wear.

[Angela Campbell]

Men are yuchhy....I don't want anything to do with that!

[mmarmstrong]

I agree with some of the other posts here - I feel like when I'm dressing I'm certainly doing my best to improve/increase my femininity however that doesn't lower or reduce my masculinity when I'm not dressing.

Very interesting topic...good thread!!

[Angie G]

Not at all Nikki. I all man at work or with friends.But when I'm home well I feel all woman.:hugs:
Angie

[FoxxxyBri]

As society defines manhood? Of course.

But I also think Crossdressing makes me more of a full human being. I really dont care for many of our society's social norms/rules anyway.

[Stevie]

It actually makes you more of a man. You have to be strong to stand up against everyone that disapproves our lifestyle.

[Angela Campbell]

OMG!!! there are some who disapprove?

[freeindress]

Yes if it means less of a man defined by feminity-suppressed person, which implies more of a feminity-enhanced man.

[suzanne]

Society as it is right now will tell you you're less of a man, but they have it wrong, wrong wrong. I have discovered I am a more complete human being because of my crossdressing. My personality is a mix of both male and female (I usually say 60% female) and to deny either side is not healthy for me. My guess is that everyone in this forum is a mix of both in any proportion ranging from 10% to 99% femme and we're all beautiful people (speaking only my own case, it's just inner beauty)

[Frédérique]

Does crossdressing make you less of a man ?

It makes me more of the man I want to be, meaning a more balanced individual. You can’t listen or subscribe to other people’s notions of what “being a man” entails. Most men are insecure, and they are on guard against any intrusions into their fortress of masculinity. Interesting men do not bother with such made-up nonsense. They (meaning we) take what they have and see what they can do with it. It takes courage to crossdress, drop the injurious vestiges of “male,” and become more of a man than any other man could possibly imagine. Just imagine your “self” and make it happen…
:battingeyelashes:

[sometimes_miss]

Beauty, and 'manliness', is in the eyes of the beholder. Sadly, this winds up meaning that to most women, we are 'less of a man'. That means it's not a big problem if you're interested in having sex with men, and expect to have a male life partner, because there are men out there who are interested in having sex with a reasonably attractive mtf crossdresser. But women? Very, very few. You're more likely to win the lottery than find a woman who is attracted to a mtf crossdresser.

[CarolynO]

I'm all man all the time, no matter what I wear.
That's funny.I don't see a man at all in your avitar:)

[Jamie001]

That's funny.I don't see a man at all in your avitar:)

Yes, I agree. Looks like a pretty girl to me.

[Jenni Yumiko]

It levels me out, otherwise I'm a raging ahole :-(

[Ottcdbiguy]

Of course it makes you less of a man.... But then again, that's the whole point!

I'd equate this to a question like "does eating a steak make you less of a vegetarian"

[Ms. Laura]

In a humorous way, my wife said, "Well, no, but having Tinkerbelle as your avatar might." :) (No insult actually intended)

[LoriFlores]

Yes, it makes me less of a man and more of a girl. Which is exactly the way I like it!! If only I could make it 100% girl and 0% man!!

[flatlander_48]

There's some great answers here, but I would expect no less from such a neat group of people.

So, my answer...

In the time that I have been crossdressing, my male persona, behaviors and interests have not changed that much at all. Such that you can see, anyway. What has changed internally is that I have just about given up the notion of having to make my masculinity bulletproof to the point where no one would question it. All my life I have invested an extraordinary amount of energy in this, but what I have finally realized is that it has NO POINT. Once I started to relax about that, a sense of relief comes not unlike outing yourself to someone. Basically you come to understand that some things can just be given up and you don't have to carry that burden anymore.

As men, we carry of lot of B/S that society has given us. Stuff like "Be a man.", "Don't cry.", "Don't act like a sissy." and many other similar verbal daggers. It can make us feel that any sort of tenderness and compassion just shouldn't happen. As I said, B/S.

So, it may well be that some of us feel less than a man sometimes. If that works for you, fine. Don't let anyone tell you any different. Conversely, don't say that you think you are not less of a man because that's what you think you should say...

[Nikki Rich]

Ms Laura tell your wife she's too funny :) , I really love the diversity of this group , as a I originally said I don't think I'm less of a man than I've e ever been. I now just allowing a side of me show that's always been there , I've come to realize that trying to supress this part of me makes me a asshole which does more damage to my relationship with my wife than crossdresseing could ever do. I've been out to my wife about 4 months now , so we are still navigating these uncharted waters.

[jenni_xx]

It's a simple question right ? I personally don't feel it makes me any less a man. What defines us as a man ? Besides our plumbing. Women can do anything we can do , so what's so special about us ? I drive a dump truck and I work with women that can drive just as good if not better than most of the men I work with. Just some food for thought and curios to see what y'all think.

In my opinion, yes it does. Both in the eyes of others and in regards to ourselves. The majority, if not all, of the members of this site for example will refer to each other using a female pronoun, and there are many threads which discuss not only our desire to look like women, but also expressing how we want to feel like women. And when dressing in public, numerous members talk about how enjoyable it is for them to be treated as a woman.

In regards to others, our dressing will result in questions about our masculinity and, much to the annoyance of the straight cd's, our sexuality. While one shouldn't necessarily confuse the idea of being masculine with the the notion of being a man, as masculinity and femininity are a little more fluid than our actual gender stipulates, they are nevertheless terms which work as signifiers in terms of how others view us, and indeed how we present ourselves. An effeminate man may not necessarily be gay, but just like many crossdressers have experienced, it will result in others questioning their sexual orientation. For some, such questions are justified by the answer given - that is, some crossdressers are gay, just as some effeminate men are.

But I digress. Personally, I do regard myself as less of a man. I am effeminate, I am gay, and I do crossdress. It doesn't bother me in the slightest that others would regard me as less of a man than an "average Joe", because that's exactly how I regard myself. For other cd's however, it may be as simple as turning on and off a switch - when they present themselves as male, to others they wouldn't be regarded as any less of a man than any other man. But there nevertheless remains a part of them (which is a part that makes up their whole) which does align more to the notion of femininity, the idea of being a woman, and that part (which makes up their whole) is far removed from what being a man encompasses. And it's on that level that I believe your question should be addressed. Not the job we do, or the truck we drive. Anybody, be they male or female can do jobs that are traditionally/socially more commonly associated with the opposite gender. It's from inside ourselves where your question should be answered. When you dress, do you feel like a man, or desire to feel like a woman? At the risk of being presumptious, I would say the latter. And the clothes, the make-up, the external presentation of ourselves when dressing is simply a means in order for us to be able to embrace our feminine side.

[EllenJo]

Shania Twain once sang "Man. I feel like a woman" Sums it up for me.

[MysticLady]

Less of a Man??....................What is a Man??

There are many things in life we don't understand and crossdressing is just one of those many things. It doesn't change what I feel in my heart just softens the blows I recieve from the world and its rigid society.

[flatlander_48]

Oh My Gawd, we're all getting in touch with our FEELINGS. We are NOT supposed to do that. Says so right here, on Page 9 Paragraphs 18 and 19, in the Guy's All-Star Shoe Band Guy's Handbook.

Read'em and weep. Whoops. We aren't supposed to do that either...

[Barbara Jo]

Yes, it make one less of a man in the stereotypical sense. After all, we love these strictly female sensations
However, the question should be if it make you less of a person which is of course no.

[Mikkigurll]

ABSOLUTELY NOT! It makes me somewhat angry when people say it does. When I told my mother about it, my wife was with me. She said, even though I dress, I'm still all man, except for this little part of me.

[Natalie Wood]

My belief is that it makes me a better, more whole person. For years I was the rough, gruff type of macho man that suppressed these thoughts and feelings. 25 years in the Army. I was a Paratrooper, a Drill Sergeant. On the civilian side a respected business executive. There is only one person on Earth that knows about this, my wife. Married 12 years and we have 3 beautiful children together. I am an excellent, loving husband, father, and provider. I respect, no revere women greatly, especially my wife. I am far more a man--even though I thoroughly enjoy shaving my legs, wearing sheer hose with stiletto pumps, dresses, skirts, etc.--than many insecure macho types that treat women like excrement and think that makes them more manly.

I couldn't agree more.

[2B Natasha]

My belief is that it makes me a better, more whole person. For years I was the rough, gruff type of macho man that suppressed these thoughts and feelings. 25 years in the Army. I was a Paratrooper, a Drill Sergeant. On the civilian side a respected business executive. There is only one person on Earth that knows about this, my wife. Married 12 years and we have 3 beautiful children together. I am an excellent, loving husband, father, and provider. I respect, no revere women greatly, especially my wife. I am far more a man--even though I thoroughly enjoy shaving my legs, wearing sheer hose with stiletto pumps, dresses, skirts, etc.--than many insecure macho types that treat women like excrement and think that makes them more manly.


I couldn't agree more.


I'm all man all the time, no matter what I wear.


I agree with all three of these individual's. Getting my inner girlie on does not make me more of a man nor does it make me less. BTW Women can do almost anything a man can do. The things that women can't do or perhaps not does as well or feats of strength. That is just physiology nothing more. When it comes to the mind neither is better then the other.

Cheers

[Barbara Jo]

.......... I'm still all man, except for this little part of me.......

So a little part of you is not a man. Then, it follows that it makes you a "little" less of a man.:)

[Raychel]

I would not say that crossdressing makes me any less of a man, I still do all the manly stuff all week long,
I work as a mechanic all week long, I just happen o like the finer womens clothes when I get the chance.

[cdxmatty]

Isnt that the point? :)

[Stephanie47]

I think for the longest time my cross dressing was perplexing to my wife. My personalty that attracted her really has not changed at all over forty plus years. My cross dressing was not a premarital secret. It developed along the way. I did nothing to try to compensate for my cross dressing. I did not become boorish. I did not become a "man's man" to conceal my cross dressing. I worked hard all my life. I supported my family. Everyone went to college on my dime. I served my time in the military doing the ultimate 'manly' things. What's between my legs has not defined me.


I don't think it makes my husband any less of a man. He makes me feel safe he provides for me and makes me feel like a princess every day.

[Rachel05]

What an excellent question, for me personally I don't feel less of a man, I used to do when I was younger but not now, but I am sure my wife sees my girlie side as me being less of a man to the one she married, I am happy with me and as someone else said, I don't harm anyone, this is something for me

[wantstocrossdress]

My belief is that it makes me a better, more whole person. For years I was the rough, gruff type of macho man that suppressed these thoughts and feelings. 25 years in the Army. I was a Paratrooper, a Drill Sergeant. On the civilian side a respected business executive. There is only one person on Earth that knows about this, my wife. Married 12 years and we have 3 beautiful children together. I am an excellent, loving husband, father, and provider. I respect, no revere women greatly, especially my wife. I am far more a man--even though I thoroughly enjoy shaving my legs, wearing sheer hose with stiletto pumps, dresses, skirts, etc.--than many insecure macho types that treat women like excrement and think that makes them more manly.


i'm like that and it still puzzles me at times how the machoest of of some men opt to dress up en femme whatever their reason is.

it makes me feel more understanding to women and how much time and effort they put in to make themselves lovely. i understand why they hate wearing pantyhose because of how it feels and its bothersome to put on. i understand why they take so much time to put makeup on, why fixing their hair takes several minutes, and why they get bored with their clothes (i wanna get a new dress too!) :D

[Perla]

No. the answer is no in any way. Its just a feminine side of me living the momento.

[Jenniferathome]

When I am dressed, I am the same man as when not dressed. I never consider myself a "woman" because I am not. Clothing, it would seem, does NOT make the man or woman. Now, there is also no question in my mind that cross dressing and the archetype of "man" do not go together. So, if that is the comparison, then yes, I am less a man than the male archetype. But then, all women are less feminine than the female archetype. My wife doesn't think of me as less "male" and that is all I care about.

[Barbara Jo]

It's a given that were are the same person whether "dressed" or not. That is not the issue.

The OP asked if being a CD made one less of a man. As someone asked, is that not the point? :)

Actually I think we first have to open the can of worms labeled "what is a man"? ;)

[NicoleScott]

Isnt that the point? :)

Sometimes the shortest answer is the best, as in this case.

I'm an occasional dresser, but when I transform, it's the whole nine yards.
I am 100% man, except for those occasional times when I'm en femme.
Then, while living out my fantasy, I'm not 100% man.
So, my answer is that crossdressing makes me less of a man.
And that's the point of my crossdressing.

[misstracy90]

Heck no! I am not manly at all anyways but I still feel like a man.

[Barbara Maria]

In my case,the woman has pretty much taken over. I don't go into guy mode until I absolutely have to. My job requires me to appear manly,and sometimes stay that way for 2 or 3 weeks at a time. During these periods,I adjust and feel as much a man as ever. But emotionally,the feminine side is dominant.

[Ericaxd]

Well, it makes me feel more like a woman.

[Tess]

In my opinion, yes it does. Both in the eyes of others and in regards to ourselves. The majority, if not all, of the members of this site for example will refer to each other using a female pronoun, and there are many threads which discuss not only our desire to look like women, but also expressing how we want to feel like women. And when dressing in public, numerous members talk about how enjoyable it is for them to be treated as a woman.

In regards to others, our dressing will result in questions about our masculinity and, much to the annoyance of the straight cd's, our sexuality. While one shouldn't necessarily confuse the idea of being masculine with the the notion of being a man, as masculinity and femininity are a little more fluid than our actual gender stipulates, they are nevertheless terms which work as signifiers in terms of how others view us, and indeed how we present ourselves. An effeminate man may not necessarily be gay, but just like many crossdressers have experienced, it will result in others questioning their sexual orientation. For some, such questions are justified by the answer given - that is, some crossdressers are gay, just as some effeminate men are.

But I digress. Personally, I do regard myself as less of a man. I am effeminate, I am gay, and I do crossdress. It doesn't bother me in the slightest that others would regard me as less of a man than an "average Joe", because that's exactly how I regard myself. For other cd's however, it may be as simple as turning on and off a switch - when they present themselves as male, to others they wouldn't be regarded as any less of a man than any other man. But there nevertheless remains a part of them (which is a part that makes up their whole) which does align more to the notion of femininity, the idea of being a woman, and that part (which makes up their whole) is far removed from what being a man encompasses. And it's on that level that I believe your question should be addressed. Not the job we do, or the truck we drive. Anybody, be they male or female can do jobs that are traditionally/socially more commonly associated with the opposite gender. It's from inside ourselves where your question should be answered. When you dress, do you feel like a man, or desire to feel like a woman? At the risk of being presumptious, I would say the latter. And the clothes, the make-up, the external presentation of ourselves when dressing is simply a means in order for us to be able to embrace our feminine side.

Jenni, I like your answer. It certainly covers how I feel...less of a man. Definitely.

[suchacutie]

There is no one answer here because everyone first had to define, operationally, a number of concepts such as "man", what being "less" of a man is, etc.

From my perspective, Nicole has it right. When I transform to Tina, the idea is to allow Tina to come to the fore, so the male side is left behind. When I transform back to being male, there is no Tina present. So, from the time perspective, the time that I'm Tina diminishes the time that I'm in drab.

Emotionally one could argue that for the last 7 years I've been able to separate and identify my two gendered selves whereas before that I was just "me". That would make me more of a "man" when I am in drab.

Hmmmm, maybe we should discuss how many angels can dance on the head of a pin :)

[Allison Chaynes]

Personally, I feel I've been there, done that, and earned my "man card" several times over. I have a state high school football record, done the "jump out of planes/go to war/get shot at/lead others in combat" thing with the Army, hunt, fish and established myself as an Olympic class sharpshooter years ago. For me, it's not about being less of a man, but a more complete PERSON. The more I embrace this side of me, the better I feel, and honestly my wife is starting to embrace her too. I'm not saying she loves it, but I think we're both happier together since I've admitted to myself who I am. Actually, I'd say that I try harder to be more supportive and understanding of her, do things for her, and make it a point to love her more and better than I used to.

[Allison Chaynes]

I think it has made me compromise more and be a better spouse, and if that means less of a man, well, then I'm less of a man!

[Richelle423]

crossdressing has made me more a woman than ever!!!

[Sid]

Gender is a purely social thing as far as I'm concerned. I have typically macho guy friends who drop that act completely when not around their male friends or trying to hook up with women. I also have very girly female friends who live in heels and glitter, yet will happily don camo overalls, gun, get caked in mud and swear like a truck driver when out paintballing. Both will revert back to their stereotypical gender roles afterwards. In my experience, there is really very little difference between biological males and females in terms of gender personality. The majority of people behave in a way that we feel will impress others and obtain social benefit. Our current society dictates that certain behaviour is labelled as feminine or masculine and that biological males or females are only allowed to pick from their designated list. So, if you mean, does crossdressing make a biological male less of one, then I would answer no. However, it would (deliberately) make you less of a male gender in the eyes of mainstream society.

[ashleymasters]

I agree it absolutely does not make you any less if a man. I'm a combat vet, father and husband. And I look good in heels and lipstick. The definition of a man is taking responsibility for your actions, putting the needs of others above your own. On a biological level it's more often you see men inclined to be the provider and women inclined to be a care taker it just come from evolution. In today's society we don't have to live by it. Either way if you prefer traditional gender roles you can still be the MAN and dress. Or you can take on a new role as still be a man.

[nhlighthouse]

The botton line is simply this...Who is doing the and how do you define and what is a man?

[Kelly Smith]

There many ways to define the word "man". Many of those definitions are subjective and involve parameters loosely defined by the traditional "Manly Virtues". Crossdressing has no effect on some of those virtues (courage, martial honor, the ability to find reverse in an old 4-speed stick). But making a serious effort to have yummy cleavage and wearing a wig, makeup and pink satin panties does raise One's girliness score thereby lower One's subjective masculinity. At least I hope so. For me that's the point.

[Nikki Rich]

I really appreciate all of the thoughts and opinions that have been expressed in this thread. That being said, it kinda seems like being "manly" is like beauty, it's in the eyes of the beholder.

[Stephanie Scott]

I think that the point, most obviously, is to express some innate femininity. So while one is dressed, he is giving life and voice to his feminine side. But here is the question: What does that do in terms of his overall manhood? Is he necessarily "less of a man" overall because of those periods of indulging a feminine side?

I think we should flip the question. Does dressing in fatigues and combat boots for work make a woman necessarily less than a woman? Does playing sports with the boys make a girl necessarily less of a girl? Does wearing flannel shirts and jeans to work as a mechanic make a woman necessarily less of a woman? What if the rest of her life is defined by her happy conformity to her traditional "gender role?" Wife, mother. Wearer of dresses and skirts. Nurturer, caregiver.

Part of our frustration, it would seem, is that the rules do not apply equally to both sides. Women are free to express aspects of masculinity in areas of their life, and many are actually celebrated for it. Ahhh...but this is not true of men. If we express femininity of any kind, our manhood and sexuality and worth are called into question. We lose respect. We gain ridicule and fear and shame. It would seem as if it is the ultimate expression of sexism, actually. When women do traditionally masculine things, they are "stepping up" in life and are to be commended for "rising above their station." But men are mocked because they are voluntarily relinquishing power and elevated status and thus are "weakening" themselves purposely.

But here is how I (continue to) look at it even after 4 years of not dressing. A man could be less of a man depending on how he executes the expression of femininity and how he uses it in his life. But he CAN be MORE of a man for learning to treat his wife in an understanding way, as Christian husbands are called to do, for example. I learned all sorts of lessons about what I should be doing as a REAL man to protect, provide for, serve, and sacrifice for my wife. I gained some small additional appreciation for things she goes through as a woman that I never gave any thought to until I indulged my feminine side. I learned about vulnerability and the need for security. I learned about notions of body image/appearance and how powerful a force it is in a woman's life. I learned why things sometimes take so long. I gained an appreciation for HER daily work and sacrifices which far exceeded my own. I learned how to really listen and not try to "fix" everything. I think; I hope that those lessons have made me a better man -- MORE of a man, if you will. Even if I still have those same old feminine feelings -- even if I don't act on them.

[Jamie001]

Part of our frustration, it would seem, is that the rules do not apply equally to both sides. Women are free to express aspects of masculinity in areas of their life, and many are actually celebrated for it. Ahhh...but this is not true of men. If we express femininity of any kind, our manhood and sexuality and worth are called into question. We lose respect. We gain ridicule and fear and shame. It would seem as if it is the ultimate expression of sexism, actually.

When women first started wearing pants and other men's clothing, they experienced the ridicule and shame but they had the balls to get out there and do it! Women don't have frail egos like men. It is extremely important to understand that women wear men's items/clothing as women. They are not attempting to deceive anyone that they are men. The problem with most crossdressers is that most of them stay in the closet. Additionally, most crossdressers attempt to deceive that they are really women. The only way for men to make progress like women previously did is to wear women's clothing, nail polish, makeup, etc as a man. It is also important to proudly own what you are wearing and not attempt to make excuses like splitting nails for wearing nail polish. In the case of nail polish, just tell people that you like having red nails, or wearing women's jeans, shoes, etc because they are pretty or they feel good. That is what is meant my "owning it", and it is exactly what women did when they started wearing pants and other masculine items. Do men have the courage to do this? Unfortunately, I don't think so as most crossdressers would rather cower in the closet or make excuses when they are busted. Therefore it is unrealistic to think that men will ever obtain the same gender freedom as women because they are not willing to take the risk. No risk, no gain - it's really that simple.

[Lady Panda]

My SO is a CDer....I knew him before when we were in high school...and I always thought he was a wonderful person STILL do.That being said I can honestly say that I am glad that he came out of the CDing closet...He is more comfortable with himself/herself since.....he has always been a shy , quiet person. I do not see him as less of a man for Cding. I see him as being STRONGER. I am so glad he is coming to terms with who he is ...all the parts that make him who he really is. It just is another facet to who he is . And I love him for it.

One thing I can say tho is that since he has come out of the CDing closet ....It has made me able to come to terms with who I truly am also. He makes me a better person. I have a very masculine side to me that for many years My EXH used to ridicule me for it by complaining that I was too much like a guy. I am a tomboy that can be very much a lady. I have a tool box , I fix things around the house , maintenance on my car, make things, refinish furniture ....lol When my SO is infemme it allows me to express the masculine side of me w/o repercussions and also allows the very feminine side of me to come out too. Seeing him dealing with his CDing side has given me the strength to deal with my past demons and to heal myself and let go of my abusive past (dad and EXH were both abusive) By him being strong and very sensitive (CDING side ) It gave me the courage to be able to let go of having to be strong all the time and allow myself to fall apart and cry when it all seems too much. By seeing him at his most vulnerable ...made it OK for me to allow myself to be vulnerable too.
So his Cding has not only made him better and more of a man it made me a better more complete woman with a strong masculine side.
I wouldn't have him any other way...!!!!
So I hope that gives you an answer from the GGs point of view.

[Nikki Rich]

Thank you for your response my SO also knows about my crossdressing and is ok with it, which makes it a lot easier to be who I am with her. She had been great I'm not gonna lie and say its been easy ive made some mistakes along the the way and still make some now but I feel like its getting better, just taking day by day.

[melissakozak]

My answer to this question is...how do you exactly define what a woman or a man is? I have never felt like a straight man, don't know what they feel like and never have....I honestly believe most straight men worry constantly about being the perception of not being manly...again, I don't know what this means....other than I feel a lot of men are fairly insecure about their masculinity in some situations...thus, they won't go to the salon, get their hair actually "done" instead of just cut, etc. In male mode, I do all of these things...the typical girly types of things, and I am simply being 'me.' I couldn't care less what others think as I sit back, read Redbook and get my nails done.....

[ArleneRaquel]

I don't think that dressing as a female makes me less of a man, but my homophobic next door neighbor is sure that by living, almost all of the time enfemme, will condemn me to h*ll. To me my dressing completes my humanness.

[Sabrina133]

My belief is that it makes me a better, more whole person. For years I was the rough, gruff type of macho man that suppressed these thoughts and feelings. 25 years in the Army. I was a Paratrooper, a Drill Sergeant. On the civilian side a respected business executive. There is only one person on Earth that knows about this, my wife. Married 12 years and we have 3 beautiful children together. I am an excellent, loving husband, father, and provider. I respect, no revere women greatly, especially my wife. I am far more a man--even though I thoroughly enjoy shaving my legs, wearing sheer hose with stiletto pumps, dresses, skirts, etc.--than many insecure macho types that treat women like excrement and think that makes them more manly.

Amen Shibumi. I dont think how i dress, act or look should define me as a Man. i've known many "Manly" men who were downright despiclable - disrespectful, deceitful, dishonest and just downright mean. If thats what it means to be a man then i dont want any part of it.

[Ambergold43]

What exactly is meant by "less of" a man, anyway? I still have the same hardware, so to speak, and I still enjoy the same manly activities whether I am dressed or not... I just also happen to enjoy being girly and doing girly things to an equal, but separate, degree. Would playing a wizard in a roleplaying game make you "less of" a business executive (or whatever) in real life?

A question with the same logic might be: Does being a man make you less feminine?

[EllenJo]

I am just me in both modes. The fact that I have a strong feminine side enhances who I am as much as my masculine side. When the wife finally accepted my crossdressing, she said it was because she realized that many of the traits she loved about me were more feminine. I take care of her, provide for her and try to make everyday a good day for her and will as long as I have her. My ability to give up many of my manly pursuits and be happy as a housekeeper and caregiver are what she came to understand was the Ellen Jo in me and she has grown to like Ellen Jo.

[Joanne108]

No! I'm still a man, I just have a talent for disguising myself as a woman! I do love making my disguise as real as possible! However I'm still attracted to women! Whether I'm dressed or not I'm still me, and I'm a man!

[DebbieL]

No, lying about who I am, what I am, how I feel, those make me less of a man. Expressing anger easily and being afraid to giggle, show tenderness, or say a kind word to a man or woman because I'm afraid of what they will think of me - that's when I am less of a man. In other words, when I am so worried about trying to "pass" as a man - I give up a very important part of myself.

The question itself is insulting, not just to transsexuals and transgenders, but also to women! It suggests that expressing feminine aspects makes one less of a person than a man who acts consistent with society's current definition of masculinity and man-hood.

I find that those who DO attempt to conform to the traditional "Masculine" roles are the ones who deserve less respect. Growing up, the boys who were violent, selfish, and angry were respected, even feared, while those who were gentle and kind were mocked and persecuted. In Jr High and High School, the boys who were sexually aggressive to the point of being rude, lewd, crude, and abusive in their descriptions of women, their interactions with women, and their interactions around women, were viewed as "Masculine" and were respected, while those who spoke with respect, kindness, and friendship around women and about women were called "faggots", "fairiys", or "queers", regardless of their actual sexual attraction. Often, they would reinforce this behavior as "inferior" by engaging in physical abuse toward the men who were respectful and kind regarding women. Sadly, women often chose these "Alpha" males, even though they were abusive, because they had a good "line", or just intimidated the competition. Then these women were shocked when the man became abusive, even violent, some even verging on rape.

Around the world, the "Alpha" males were often the worst as sexual partners, spouses, and parents. The were often violent and abusive toward their wives and children, especially if their wife wasn't ready willing and able to give them whatever they wanted. They often drank too much, did not work reliably, or even turned to crime. Many were soldiers at some point in their lives, escalating the violent behaviors to a deadly level. These men were literally conditioned to kill anyone on command, men, women, children, even infants, when ordered to do so, without hesitation. In a military combat situation this was often necessary, since insurgents were often women who would strap claymore mines between them and their babies, assuring that anyone who tried to rescue the baby after the mother was killed would be killed, along with anyone within 50 feet. However, when these men came home, there had been no conditioning or training to prepare them for living in a peaceful society, family, and community. The skills that won them respect in the battlefield had little value in domestic life, in a civilized peaceful workplace. Many men who came back from battle eventually committed suicide, unable to cope with life in which anger, rage, and violence were liabilities, and kindness, compassion, and gentleness were the required skills for a father, professional, and community member.

In effect, these poor fellows had been conditioned by the schools, peers, parents, and military to do everything they could to "kill" everything "feminine" about themselves, effectively killing off 1/2 of the skills and personality traits that are REQUIRED of human beings in modern society. They became less of a man than a well rounded man would be.

[CherylFlint]

It takes a lot of guts to go out in public dressed.
The more you do it the better you get and the easier it is.

[JC]

make me less of a man? this depends on the person making the evaluation.

To me - no.

To the majority of society - yes it does make us less of a man.

Remember that there is no set definiton in our world.

[Nikki Rich]

Probably one of the shortest answers to the question but in my opinion one of the best :)

[Darla Jean]

Just read the thread and so agree with Eryn...when I dress I am more of a woman and when not, I'm just a man ... being female is a bit more of a challenge as I have less practice and there are more social taboos (many more than a female being male). What I find most interesting is that my mind and body can live in these two different dimensions, willingly and with zest...when dressed I truly am female (at least within my brain) and if others cannot see that I am not at fault....

[MissTee]

Can't answer as I have yet to figure out what "less of a man" looks like. Who defines that?

[Jessica Who]

More of a man. Case closed :D

[Christine.Lolita]

Not sure if it make me more or less of a man. It does make me more of a person.