Did my mother cause this?

[MysticLady]

Hello All

As I sit here all made up and dolled up and see myself in the mirror,I see my mothers beauty:daydreaming:. I was first born and I was wondering if when I was in my mothers womb did she have thoughts or wishes of having a girl? If so, is this maybe a reason for my love for emulating a woman? I have never had a converston with her regarding whether she wanted a girl or not but I was just wondering if any of have spoken with your mothers regarding this and did the answer surprise you or not?:eek:

[Jenniferathome]

No, she did not cause this.

[kimdl93]

Nope. Its a pleasant romantic notion, but that's not how it works. You see your mother, of course, because you have half her DNA. I look something like my mother too. Most likely, the reason you are as you are relates to genetic factors or the hormonal environment of the womb, either of which affect development.

I do know that my mother was hoping for a girl. She'd had six sons in a row before my birth. That may actually be the reason I am as I am - there is a birth order effect that relates to hormone exposure in the womb. The more older male siblings, the more likely that subsequent male offspring will be either gay or have atypical gender identification.

[ArleneRaquel]

Crossdressing is in the DNA, at least in mine. Your mother didn't cause your crossdressing at least not in the way that you imply in your OP. HUGS & BEST WISHES !

[stephNE]

My mother (and father) didn't want to have any kids. So if they could have wished something and made it happen, it wouldn't have been a different gender.

[SandraV]

That may actually be the reason I am as I am - there is a birth order effect that relates to hormone exposure in the womb. The more older male siblings, the more likely that subsequent male offspring will be either gay or have atypical gender identification.

Really?! I'm first born to my parents. Go figure... :idontknow:

[Annaliese]

IT is an interesting though, I am the third child two older brothers, My mom had a girl name pick out for me, I would think she was wishing for a girl, then I came out, she did get a girl next and she got my name.

[busker]

Hello All

As I sit here all made up and dolled up and see myself in the mirror,I see my mothers beauty:daydreaming:. I was first born and I was wondering if when I was in my mothers womb did she have thoughts or wishes of having a girl? If so, is this maybe a reason for my love for emulating a woman? I have never had a converston with her regarding whether she wanted a girl or not but I was just wondering if any of have spoken with your mothers regarding this and did the answer surprise you or not?:eek:

This notion is ,whether you are aware or not, based on the theories of evolution by Lamarck and they have been discredited.
The most likely reason would be biochemical/epigenetic since there are millions of cross dressers around the world. In the science world, there is generally one simple explanation rather than a tangle of odds and ends reasons. Everybody couldn't have a mother with thoughts of girl children or been at the corner of 5th and Lexington on new yeas eve.
This is, of course, my opinion, since I don't have the wherewithall to prove it.

[Wildaboutheels]

Awfully hard to produce any concrete evidence about how much of anything babies in the womb can hear or "understand". At least one study has "shown that" babies hearing classical music have better math skills. [and Music IS a form of math]

http://www.modernmom.com/article/when-can-a-baby-hear-in-the-womb

[Amanda_P]

I sometimes wonder about my mother having a part in this. I was about 10 when she dressed me and my in a beautiful white dress my older sister had. And with 4 boys and 1 girl our undershorts would run out faster then laundry could keep up. So she put us in my sisters panties. I guess I just got stuck in this pink fog and never found my way out.

[Stephanie47]

I'm the second born son. My mother's picture of the perfect family included a son, first born/oldest, followed by a younger second born, daughter. From 1883 until 1959 there were no daughters born of my paternal sides sperm. Since, my father's sperm faked mom out, she did not have that daughter for another twelve years. I heard a lot that I was suppose to be a girl. I told her when I was a young kid to shut up. She got the point. If I developed a cross dressing tendency, it was not because my mother expressed the desire for a daughter. I was a rough and tumbled, get in trouble kid who liked sports. I have done all those manly things. I can't figure it out, so I stopped trying. Go buy yourself a new dress. A little shopping therapy may be needed.

[Shananigans]

While I do recognize the popular trope of blaming the parents, I rarely find causality. (But, to be fair, I rarely find causality in anything). I think in your case, it's a nice thought...you really aren't "blaming" as is usually seen. However, if I were to agree with you about your mothers thoughts Causing your own personal choice, I would also (by the same logic) be validating those people who look for causality in actually blaming their parents for their own mistakes. I recognize that you aren't inserting animosity towards your mother for "causing" this...but, by the same rule of thumb, if it is true, you are also validating all of those who do have animosity and seek to blame their parents instead of owning their own actions.

So, no, I don't believe there is a causal or even a correlation all relationship here...but, I think it's a sweet thought and perhaps in some way you are expressing traits that you valued in your mother. But, in the end, it's still your own choice and you are not guided by any spiritual or psychic influence that you encountered in utero.

It sucks to get such a resounding NO, but you have to see that acceptance of your positive experience would mean acceptance of what most people use on negative experiences. And, though I do believe your environment influences your actions, I still believe that people are ultimately responsible for their own choices. Perhaps, we might find that we are in fact guided by an unseen force that pushes us (sometimes unwillingly) into doing things that we follow without any personal will...but, I doubt it. :-/

[kimdl93]

Really?! I'm first born to my parents. Go figure... :idontknow:

What I cited accounts for maybe one third of variations in sexual orientation or gender identification. There are lots of other, less well verified forces that influence development...and some evidently affect first borne children too!

[Angela Campbell]

I don't think that a mothers thoughts while pregnant will change the life of the child. But what can I say, my Mother wanted a girl because she already had a son, but she raised me as a boy. The desire to be a girl came from me, not her.

[Adrienne Heels]

My mother always made it clear she never wanted to have a son. And she would tell people that when I was with her. So I'm sure she influenced this in some way!

[AmyGaleRT]

I've often wondered if my mother was expecting me to be born a girl, or was hoping for one, or if anything unusual happened to her while she was carrying me, that might account for my Amy-self. After all, I did take my femme name from the girl name she always wanted to use but never got to. I also wonder how she might react to knowing that she does actually have a "daughter" of sorts, who is keeping that name safe. I wouldn't "blame" her because there's nothing to "blame" her for; I love being Amy when I can and feel like I've been given a gift.

- Amy

[VikkiDave]

I've often wondered if my mother was expecting me to be born a girl, or was hoping for one, or if anything unusual happened to her while she was carrying me, that might account for my Amy-self. After all, I did take my femme name from the girl name she always wanted to use but never got to. I also wonder how she might react to knowing that she does actually have a "daughter" of sorts, who is keeping that name safe. I wouldn't "blame" her because there's nothing to "blame" her for; I love being Amy when I can and feel like I've been given a gift.

- Amy
I have to admit that I feel the same, and my Femme name is the name I would have been given had I not been male. My mother has told me many times that I should have been a girl, and for the first 5 years at least she definitely treated me in the same way as a girl (without the pretty clothes unfortunately), and encouraged me to play with the girls next door that were a year older than me. When my Brothers came along I helped clean and look after them just like an older sister.

[Beverley Sims]

My mother died when I was 14 so I never got to question her.
All she did was find my stash and sort of, objected to the practice.

[MysticLady]

I remember growing up and seeing how my mother and her mother(my grandmother) were always prim and proper and very elegant in thier ways regarding thier womanhood. What I mean is that I never saw either in rollers,half dressed or all messed up once they got out of bed. I remember my mother would always be up and done before any of us were ever up. I never seen her all "ragged out" so to speak. I also come from a strong line of dominant male births and having a girl was something special.( As a matter of fact,my grandmother would refer to me and my brothers as "barons"...or did she mean ... barrens:heehee:.) As I grew older is when I starting noticing this because I remember visiting friends and meeting thier mothers and was sometimes surprised at how they presented themselves regarding thier appearances. In most cases I was very surprised since most them really didnt seem like they cared what they looked like:eek:.
To me,the way my grandmother and mother presented themselves was always the perfect elegance of a woman and I was very attracted to that. I wonder sometimes if this may have also been a factor. I not complaining or blaming them for anything regarding my crossdressing but I am very thankful that they "showed me" how to present myself as an elegant and attractive impersonation of a woman.:)

[Karren H]

Stop blaming her..... It wasn't her fault....She was probably abducted by the same group of aliens my mother was!

[asherdog]

Here's an unrelated but interesting fact, women do not suffer from colour blindness, but a male whom is colour blind which is common (1 in 10 males) have had is passed down from there mother whom is the carrier of the gene.
Unfortunately though, I don't think the same situation applies for crossdressing as well......

[BillieJoEllen]

When I was younger my mother had me do many girlish things that were (I believe) kept from my father. Although she never came right out and said it she alluded to the fact that she didn't really want a boy. She mentioned what my name would've been had I been born a girl many, many times. Somewhere when I was a little kid I thought I was really a girl. I was taught very quickly not to say anything about that but the feelings persisted the rest of my life. I don't feel my mother caused any of this but she certainly helped in the way she treated me when we were alone.

[vetobob9]

Do you innuendo, common misbelief, or do you want hard science?
Women cannot consciously cause their children to be TG. Dads especially have no role.
In the woman, however, because the fetid needs resources to grow and develop, it is in the fetus' interest for the mother to eat lots and lots of food (sugary food in particular). The fetus addresses this by shooting the mother with regal hormones that make the mother crave foods even when she would not normally eat the stuff. This is what causes pregnancy diabetes in women. It is also happens to women with male fetuses much more than to women with female refuses.
This is because bearing a male is much much more resource intensive than carrying female refuses.
If the male fetus were to have total control it could kill the mother. So what is a woman to to? Well she can do nothing consciously but her body won't take no for an answer. It returns fire, shooting its own hormones at the fetus in attempt to feminize it. The goal is to convert it from a boy into a girl. This is because girl fetuses require less resources and are easier to carry.
This hormonal war for control results in minor DNA changes that have some big consequences. Homosexuality is the most extreme consequence. This covers the whole spectrum of TG depending on hoe much female hormones you had fired at you in utero. A minimal amount results in simple crossdressing. A higher amount results in homosexuality in men. The highest level of hormonal feminization in utero results in transsexuality.
For FAB transgenders, they would have been exposed yo excessive levels of testosterone in utero with similar effects. We do not know why this happens yet.
This is the science. It has nothing to do with tight or wring. All it foes is say shay is going on. You have to make your own judgement. Just bear in mind that this is new stuff because until recently it was illegal for scientists to look at this stuff.

[Annaliese2010]

Yeah, it's probably your moms subconscious yearnings that got conveyed, even affected the biochemistry of development before you were born and voila! Against all odds: Behold! A lil TG girl! Aww...

[sometimes_miss]

As a toddler my mom dressed me in 'hand me down' dresses and outfits from my older sister whenever no one else was around. Also let my hair grow long as long as she could get away with it, told my dad various things like, the barber was closed, we got there too late, didn't have enough money for bus fare if we had to stop a second time, the long hair would keep me warmer, etc.. She explained my wearing my sisters clothes by saying it was so I wouldn't damage my 'good boy clothes'. Same with toys, up to a certain age, I was playing with dolls and such, older sister's cast off toys. By the time I was four it all stopped, other than her sewing blue and red threads on my sister's old panties to make them look like my dad's fruit of the loom briers. All explained away as ways to save money, of course.
None of it mattered; by the time I started school, I was sure I was a boy, and acted and felt that way. It was only a couple years later when a child molester threw my sexual identity into turmoil, and then all my mom's behavior seemed to indicate that he was right, that I was really a girl. took decades to fix the psychological damage.

[TGMarla]

I think the only thing my mother ever did to contribute to this was leave her dresses hanging in her closet for me to try on when no one was home.

[KimberlyJean]

I think the only thing my mother ever did to contribute to this was leave her dresses hanging in her closet for me to try on when no one was home.

My mother actually left dresses in my size in my closet. It took me years later to figure out that she knew and sort of supported it. I was also supposed to be a girl, and my name is what she would have named me.

[giuseppina]

Here's an unrelated but interesting fact, women do not suffer from colour blindness...

I have a sister and a female cousin who are partially colourblind.

Colour sensing is on the X chromosome. The reason it is rare is the genetic ladies have two chances to be not colourblind rather than one for genetic males. I don't know about intersex individuals.

[Kate Simmons]

Partly. Your Mother was 50% responsible for you being here.:)

[Allison Chaynes]

I have no scientific data but I would guess she would be a definite influence, but not necessarily the sole cause.

[rita63]

Used to see some discussion on exposure to the drug DES as causing some CD behavior. It was given to women who had had problem pregnancies from the 40's to the 70's. I don't know much about it but it supposedly bathed the fetus in estrogen. It strikes me as a real possibility in my situation but I would like to know more.

hugs rita

[Rebecca Watson]

The idea seems to be largely wishful thinking (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wishful_thinking). There are no neuronal connections between a mother and a fetus, so a mother's thoughts can only affect the fetus through indirect means (e.g. stress leading to dietary change). As far as I can tell, the only plausible mechanism for altering a fetus' sexuality through thoughts is a change in the transport of neurohormones (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neurohormone) to the fetus. Realistically though, the fetus will only be able to detect general emotions, e.g. if the mother is happy or stressed (and not individual thoughts). Moreover, a fetus doesn't even understand the concept of gender.

- Becky

[sometimes_miss]

Here's an unrelated but interesting fact, women do not suffer from colour blindness, but a male whom is colour blind which is common (1 in 10 males) have had is passed down from there mother whom is the carrier of the gene.
Unfortunately though, I don't think the same situation applies for crossdressing as well......
Where in the world did you hear that? While color blindness is rarer in women than men, they certainly aren't immune to it. Amazing how much misinformation is out there.

[Kelly Smith]

Awfully hard to produce any concrete evidence about how much of anything babies in the womb can hear or "understand". At least one study has "shown that" babies hearing classical music have better math skills. [and Music IS a form of math]

http://www.modernmom.com/article/when-can-a-baby-hear-in-the-womb

There is no evidence that hearing classical music in the womb "causes" an improvement in a baby's math aptitude. It may, but causality can not be established by an observational study. Observational studies detect correlation. In this case there is at least one potential lurking variable. People who listen to classical music tend to be smart. Smart people tend to have smart babies.