dealing with life

[litlejohn]

Just an update on me, and maybe someone in my heals might be able to relate. I told my wife a little over a year ago that dressing in female is something in do. scared to death before and held my breath for the reaction. I know we are better off with her knowing. My keeping this secret from the one I love was actually me lieing to her. As much of a relief as it was with telling her, it placed a huge burden on her. She has chosen to take this on. she has been nothing short of awesome. She went from shocked to supportive and all the in between. I had been decieving her and according to her that was the worst .
I don't believe she is crazy about what I do but she works with it. She allows me to be dressed in front of her and makes time for me to do so. she bought me some panties soon after I came out to her.I will never "pass" as a woman I understand this. She has helped me become more comfortable with my desire to dress in fem and i think she likes my attitude change afterwards. I am more passave and honestly believe i listen better during and shortly after i"ve been in fem.
My dream day would be a spa, make up, shopping, and evening out in fem with her. She is not there yet and maybe never will be.The last time I dressed it was depressing. I messed up my makeup(eyes)(racoon). II told her about it and that I really want to go out. She admitted that she isn't ready for that and doesn't know she ever would be. She proceeded to tell me if i really want to do that then it may be something i might end up doing on my own.
I just wanted to share how my coming out to my SO has went. I do believe coming out to her was the best thing for both of us.I don"t feel i"m cheating her anymore. Scared? Yes!Too death! I don't how it's going to end but i do know for me it is a better journey with her than around her.

[Persephone]

Hi!

Congratulations on taking "the big step" and coming out to your spouse. It sounds like you have her support and that is the best of all possibilities.

It also sounds like you need to move slowly and keep within her comfort level.

Hugs,
Persephone.

[Amy A]

I came out to my girlfriend late last year. Just removing the veil of secrecy and guilt has been a massive relief. Although I don't dress in front of her and am making a real effort to allow her to dictate the pace of things, I think that in a lot of ways the relationship is generally stronger as a result.

You've done the right thing, and I know how hard it must've been for you, so congrats for that. Like Persephone says, make sure that you take things slowly from now on; she may be accepting but if you push this too hard or she begins to feel that it's taking over then she might start to resent it.

All the best to you and your SO!

[Stevie]

Sounds like she loves you and is trying to please you. She is probably not overly thrilled about this and is hoping its just a phase. Take it slow and let her dictate how far you should go. She has given you a fair opportunity at dressing and the idea of doing a make over and shopping might be pushing it to her. Hope this helps good luck

[Marcia Blue]

Your wife, sounds like most typical spouses, that are told of our crossdressing later in the relationship. Take things at her pace. She might become more open to your dream day, some day. I also might mention that not all spouses are as receptive as your wife, so count your blessings.

I am in the same position, with my wonderful wife. She will not go out with me
en-fem. One day things might change.

[Beverley Sims]

Even if she is accepting it is advisable to proceed with caution and go slowly.

[Erica Marie]

I applaude you for being stong enough to tell your wife the truth and to remove the burden of lieing off of your shoulders. Also kudos to your wife for being accepting. It must mean alot to you for her to understand.

[WandaRae2009]

It sounds like yours is going better than mine did. We were married over 15 years when I came out to her. And yes, I think one of the biggest issues was that I was keeping the secret and hiding for all of that time. It almost ended our marraige, but an excellent counseling session with a counseler that specializes in transgender issues helped up keep it together. She tolerates and were are on a DADT status. She knows it is part of me and not going away, nor is it something the can be cured. She still wants me to stay deep in the closet. She does feel it placed a big burden on her, knowing and keeping it a secret and fear of someone else finding out. She had demanded that I keep it a secret from our kids. Things are getting better. I am still hoping the day she will want to see me dressed and start participating. That is my biggest wish. Opening up was still the best think, even though it has a different dimension now.

Good luck on going forward. You know you have plenty of support here on this site.

[litlejohn]

I am truely blessed to have a wife who loves me enough to accept me for me. Believe me she gets shown how much she is appreciated, not just for being accepting. She was already a terrific person, wife and mother of my children. Thanks to all those on here who encourage and support each other.

[Mikkigurll]

I am truely blessed to have a wife who loves me enough to accept me for me. Believe me she gets shown how much she is appreciated, not just for being accepting. She was already a terrific person, wife and mother of my children. Thanks to all those on here who encourage and support each other.I could almost say exactly the same thing, except for the fact that the children were teenagers when we met. I told her about this before we were married and I told both daughters. The younger one, now almost 36 still brings it up in passing and is very accepting. The older one, almost 37, knows but never mentions it. We are Blessed!