My Wife Wants Me To Dress Drag For A Party. Should I?

[Ariamythe]

I'd like to get a community opinion on this one.

As I've been chronicling over on my blog (http://ariamythe.wordpress.com) I have told my wife about my crossdressing and she has not only been supportive but also understanding. My wife has always been LBGT friendly, and she has a brother who is FTM; so I guess a crossdressing husband isn't such a big deal.

Anyway, one of the things my wife enjoys is a good drag show. She thinks drag queens are funny and entertaining and a good way to spend a Saturday night (there's a local event, Drag Queen Bingo, that's so popular you need to reserve seats weeks in advance). She also likes Ru Paul, and has watched every season of Ru Paul's Drag Race.

In fact, she and some of her friends like the show so much, that they're thinking of holding a "watch party" for the finale this season -- maybe 8-10 women, all fans, drinking Absolut cocktails (it's a show thing) and seeing who wins. As my wife is telling me about the party they want to hold, I jokingly said to her,

"If it's going to be a Drag Race party, you should hire a drag queen to come."

Her: "Do you know how expensive a good drag queen is? They're paid performers."

Me (jokingly): "Well heck, I could be your drag queen."

Wife (big, serious eyes): "Really? You'd do that? That would be such a great idea!"

Now, my wife, as I said, is LGBT-community saavy. She clearly understands the difference between a drag queen (gay men thumbing their noses at traditional femininity) and a crossdresser (heterosexual men seeking comfort, identity, or enjoyment in expressing their feminine side). And I did sort of put my foot in my mouth by offering, even jokingly.

So, should I do it? Should I take the opportunity to "drag out" in front of a room full of women? My wife insists that no one would "suspect anything"; they'd just think I was "the best husband ever" for dressing up for their party. And I'm sure I could pull it off; in some ways, my size and stature actually work in my favor for doing drag. It would be performance comedy, which would be fun; and it would be a chance to just go gonzo with the en femme, at least for one nigh.

On the other hand, would it be perpetuating the stereotype? If I do drag now, then in the future one or more of these women finds out I'm a crossdresser, they might conflate the two and assume I'm really some sort of flaming queen.

All opinions welcome.

[Kelly DeWinter]

By all means go, have fun, Jeannie and I have been to a few drag shows togeather as BFF's , Its a time to have fun, see a great show and just be yourself fo a change. Drag shows are about entertainment and when the audience particiapates it's even more fun.

[Pantyhose Vicki]

Have fun!!
I would.

[SandraInHose]

Heck yeah! If her group of friends are already fans of drag queens, I doubt they'll react negatively to having one in the flesh joining them!

Let me know if you need a sidekick! LOL

[MaidJamie]

Dont overthink it. Just do it and have fun!

[Erica Marie]

Omg Yes. I would in a minute. First off you are so lucky to have a wife that is so accepting and wants to help with your dressing. Then for you to be able to dress in an environment that will acfept you. Go for it, It sounds like so much fun.

[Nikki A.]

You have to ask. Go for it. Hell you need an assistant I'll come too

[jenni_xx]

I would be very tempted to do it. It would be great fun, and indeed funny. But I understand your concerns. You being a crossdresser isn't for the amusement of others, but that's exactly what the purpose of this night would be.

I don't think you would be perpetuating a stereotype though. You're married. You're straight. Even if in the future one or more of the women present do find out that you're a crossdresser, they are more likely to respond by saying "ah, that's why you enjoyed that night so much" as opposed to saying "you're a crossdresser, and you did drag once, so you must be gay".

All in all, if I were you, I'd do it. And have a great time doing so. Your wife is clearly up for it, and I can't see any reason why it wouldn't result in a positive night for all involved.

[crystalbath]

I would do it :) Sounds like it would be a load of fun

[Naomi Newman]

i think you would have to do it, at least it is acceptance, and any form of acceptance is good to start with

[MsRenee]

When my wife found out about my dressing she kept refering me to a drag queen. It took months for me to get it thru to her that I am not a D/q.
Now the word doesnt come up again between us because she realizes thats not who I am.
All I can say is be caredul on agreeing to be the host. She may start to look at you differently seeing she knows the difference between the two.
Renee

[Ariamythe]

Dont overthink it. Just do it and have fun!
That appears to be the consensus. :)


When my wife found out about my dressing she kept refering me to a drag queen. It took months for me to get it thru to her that I am not a D/q.
Now the word doesnt come up again between us because she realizes thats not who I am.
All I can say is be caredul on agreeing to be the host. She may start to look at you differently seeing she knows the difference between the two.
Renee
Thanks for sharing your experience. Yeah, it's not my wife I'm concerned with; she's got a clearer vision. But other people -- what you describe is exactly what I'm afraid of.

[bridget thronton]

Do it if you think you can enjoy yourself

[Ariamythe]

Let me know if you need a sidekick! LOL
LOL! We could do a dance-off. "Lip-sync for your life."

[Beverley Sims]

Don't ask, do it, do it, do it.....
When you are asked to partake in your favorite past time do not even think about it.

[Jenniferathome]

are you really asking this community? That like asking a barfly if she wants a drink.

[Badtranny]

DON'T DO IT!!!

It sounds like it might be a lot of fun and cross-dressing is supposed to be a dour shameful activity best kept to basements and other poorly lit rooms.

Nothing good can come from this except fun and self discovery and no CD worth her hip forms wants any of that.

[Cheryl T]

Go for it...sounds like a great way to be "one of the girls" for the night, have lots of fun and no one suspect a thing.
Your wife sounds fantastic...you're so lucky to have her and her support.

[tiffanyjo89]

Let me see, wife wants you to go as a drag queen...the other women there apparently would react favorably to it...and they would think you were a great husband for doing this, then by all means do it.

[Taylor186]

My wife insists that no one would "suspect anything"

If you do it well, and why wouldn't you, be assured that someone there will suspect something. But, maybe that isn't all that bad and you do have an understanding SO to run interference.

I did something similar 25 years ago, and I was nowhere as good as I would be today, and it took 15 years for co-worker comments to fade away. They were generally good natured about it but whenever the topic of drag, transvestism, or crossdressing came up (generally some SNL skit or whatever) all eyes looked to me for a reaction. Other than that one event I was totally closeted to these people (everyone at the time, actually). I'm still not out to friends and family, but my wife tells me more people know than I think.

All that said I would do it again if a fun sounding event like yours was offered to me.

[Angela Campbell]

If you think it will be fun then why not? Myself I wouldn't know how to portray a drag queen, I have spent too much time and effort just to look like a lady. But don't kid yourself. If you appear in public there will be some, maybe many who will have a less than approving view of it and the word will spread.

[Linda Leigh]

I really dont know why you asked ? It is like someone giving you a Million dollars :) Just do it (as Nike says) and have fun fun fun !


Linda

[Ezekiel]

I would not know either how to portray a drag queen, besides that, I don't even like the style. I would say do it if you feel comfortable enough. You know your wife is by your side and that is a great support.

[moniqueCD21]

I say go for it! And no not all Drag Queens are gay. The difference between crossdresser and drag queen is that crossdressers (gay/straight/bi doesnt matter) dress up for numerous reasons, its always different for each one, but for drag queens its about peformance lol just thought i'd clear that up.

Now go get a big wig, about 20 gallons of makeup, and the fanciest dress you can find and BAM! Drag race party here you come! :) lol

[Ezekiel]

I say go for it! And no not all Drag Queens are gay. The difference between crossdresser and drag queen is that crossdressers (gay/straight/bi doesnt matter) dress up for numerous reasons, its always different for each one, but for drag queens its about peformance lol just thought i'd clear that up.

Now go get a big wig, about 20 gallons of makeup, and the fanciest dress you can find and BAM! Drag race party here you come! :) lol

While its true drag is performance and crossdressing is a way of expression (for any reason), drag queens tend to be mostly gay. Yes not all of them, but most are, while crossdressers are mostly straight. The difference in the sexual orientation is what might dance on peoples head if they ever get to know, but anyways crossdressers despite being straight are usually viewed as gay too so it won't matter if he gets caught, people will still have some doubt about his sexual preference, even if he is married. People can be really really ignorant and dumb...

[WandaRae2009]

I would say go for it and have fun. I know I would jump at the opportunity. My wife prefers that I stay deep in the closet.

[Lorileah]

and all this gay/straight talk has what to do with if the OP dresses as a queen or not?

[Ezekiel]

and all this gay/straight talk has what to do with if the OP dresses as a queen or not?

He might not want others to think he is gay.

[Megan70]

Don't look a gift horse in the mouth. Do it damn it, do it. You know how many closet husbands are out there that would give their left tit to do this. You'ii miss the fleeting moment. Caution though and I had to be very careful doing this at a costume party on a cruise ship in the night club when i came dressed in drag with another ( closet) CD; Don't be TOO GOOD at it, be bumbling a bit like you really don't have the hang of it other wise they will grow suspicious. Questions will be asked of wife later " he was good does he always dress up?" then the cat is out. Act like a drag queen with over done makeup and actions and not a crossdresser . Go for it dude/ duchess!

[Lorileah]

He might not want others to think he is gay.

In court the answer from the judge (me) would be "not pertinent to this discussion, disallowed". The OP didn't say anything about worrying about sexual preference, just if they should dress as a drag queen. Thus, anymore discussion about if DQ's are gay straight red white or blue will be deleted

[~Joanne~]

If you can do it, have fun, and aren't worried about repercussions... I don't see why you wouldn't. As stated about there are a lot of girls here that would kill for that moment in time. Now if your even worried about any part of it, even the smallest thing, then I would pass. If anything has you uncomfortable there is a reason for it.

[Ezekiel]

In court the answer from the judge (me) would be "not pertinent to this discussion, disallowed". The OP didn't say anything about worrying about sexual preference, just if they should dress as a drag queen. Thus, anymore discussion about if DQ's are gay straight red white or blue will be deleted

Okay but since it can be related, the subject popped with the word drag queen. And since the OP is worried about being going on drag, some of us thought of this as a possible issue for him.

I've been thinking about it more and I guess I would do it, you have the opportunity to really please your wife in a good way. Besides, even if its drag style, its still a form of crossdressing so I bet you can pull it out very well.

[Alice B]

It could well be one of the most fun evenings you will ever have. Go for it.

[Alberta_Pat]

Personally, I would be quite willing to do this FOR my Bride.

However, I wonder if this could become more than something kept at home. It might open the doors to one of the Wife's friends to ask for a "performance" at one of her functions. Should that happen, there is no putting "Jill" back in the box.

[Joann Smith]

I know I am probally on my own on this one, I would not do it ...not wild bout being looked upon as a joke. but thats just me.

Sorry

[flatlander_48]

Possible Slippery Slope Alert!?!?!?

Think about the day after. How would you feel? What sort of reactions did you get? ...or will get?

[PaulaQ]

I would do it if you enjoy attention' and not do it if you don't.

I will say, though, that if you do go through with it, it will likely be one of your most cost effective costume purchases ever, as you'll likely reuse some, all of the clothes.

I spent $800 on a "gentleman pirate" costume once. Really nice baroque jacket, tricorn hat, the whole shebang. I don't get much use out of it.

[RADER]

I do not leave the closet; But for a chance like you have, I would go.
Even with my mustache, I would go as the grocery lady in the Charmin Commercial
The guy in the dress squeezing the Toilet Paper, He was wearing a dress and a mustache.
I would go with my mustache on just to make sure to all the "Ladies" that I was
having fun at their expense.
Rader

[Julogden]

This one's a no-brainer: YES! Quit worrying, just do it and have fun. :)

Carol

[Eryn]

Yes you should, with one reservation:

As you said, Drag Queens are talented performers who put on a show for an audience. Are you capable of entertaining your audience?

Also, as a Drag Queen, you won't be "one of the girls." You're the entertainment and if you can have fun in that role then things will go swimmingly.

[Laura912]

I concur with a lot of the others, especially the way Eryn broke it down and Lorileigh noted. You are doing this at the invitation of your wife. That it is coincident with some thing you like to do, is what is making you nervous. You will need to ham it up and overdo things a bit but you can really enjoy the before and after. As a closet case known only to my wife, I would do it if asked. Might need a sip of Wild Turkey before hand....:ms:

[jenni_xx]

In court the answer from the judge (me) would be "not pertinent to this discussion, disallowed". The OP didn't say anything about worrying about sexual preference, just if they should dress as a drag queen. Thus, anymore discussion about if DQ's are gay straight red white or blue will be deleted

To be fair, the OP did mention about perpetuating a stereotype if she goes through with the drag night - the OP's words: "they (meaning any woman present who might later find out about the OP's crossdressing "tendencies") might conflate the two and assume I'm really some sort of flaming queen."

[anonymousinmaryland]

In a NEW YORK MINUTE.

[I Am Paula]

First up, yes, do it. With your wife's blessing, who cares who your out to?
Drag queens are near and dear to my heart. I did some shows back in the dark ages.
There are two types of queens, so you'll have to decide.

There's the female impersonator, who is attempting to exactly emulate a GG. Often they will impersonate celebs. Cher, Marlyn, and Dolly being very popular. Elegance is EVERYTHING, so you'll need to drop some serious money. An impersonator that doesn't LOOK like a movie star has missed the boat.

Then there is the classic queen, in which you overdo everything. Stacked white or pink wigs, inch long glitter eyelashes, and huge boobs. Glitter (the kindergarden type) abounds.
Both types are really fun to do, but the classic queen can be done much cheaper, as alot of the supplies are available at costume shops. Huge boobs are easily made, and a sequin dress can be found at teenager type shops for about $25. Really tacky stillettos- buy payless platforms, and decorate with sequins, rhinestones, or glitter. DON'T forget a feather boa. MAC sells drag queen eyelashes, and the same glue can be used to stick on glitter.

Have fun with it. Drag show are about outrageous. Remember, attitude is everything!!!

When you look like Nicki Minaj- Stop, you're there.

[JamieG]

If it was me, I would do it in an instant. But then, I've gone to a Halloween party in drag and performed in two charity drag shows, so our circle would not be shocked if I did something like this. In short, if you want to do it, go ahead and do it. You've got the green light. However, I sense you're afraid of what people will think. Do you have a reputation for doing silly things? Do you watch the show, and do your wife's friends know that you're a fan (assuming you are)? If so, that's probably enough of an excuse to do something like this. Other thoughts: do you associate with the husbands/SOs of these friends? If so, how will this impact your interaction with them? They will most definitely hear tales of the evening, and probably see pictures of you. You might get some teasing, can you take it? Perhaps you need a bit of a cover story. Could you get your wife to say you lost a bet, or that she promised you something big in return?

[Andy66]

Maybe you would be more comfortable if you had a sidekick? Maybe a friend or one of the other ladies husbands?

[larry]

Well remember-you asked - hehe
You are kidding right ? Your wife Knows you crossdress and Wants you to do it With her friends .
I guess you are not thinking of guys like me who wonder why some people have all the luck..
Geez- I am SO envious ,,,

[ReineD]

Also, as a Drag Queen, you won't be "one of the girls." You're the entertainment and if you can have fun in that role then things will go swimmingly.

That's a great point! As I was reading down this thread I tried to imagine whether my SO would go for it or not. She used to enjoy dressing for Halloween but this has changed in the last few years. Now, she feels that she is betraying herself when she treats her feminine presentation like a costume. Also I don't think that she'd enjoy being seen as a guy in a costume, but I don't know. On the other hand, she told me a few years ago that she didn't see the harm in any girl shaking her booty. So I'll have to ask her.

At any rate, if you think you'll have a good time then you should go for it!

[Sandi Beach]

Another vote for doing it. You will have a blast.

[Michelle M]

Don't be TOO GOOD at it

YES! YES! YES! Go for it and have fun. I'd do it in a second.

But remember, guys don't know how to walk in heels, and they walk like cave men, and most can't sit with their knees crossed. Don't want to accidentally "out yourself". Girls pick up on that stuff.

[mmarmstrong]

Also, as a Drag Queen, you won't be "one of the girls." You're the entertainment and if you can have fun in that role then things will go swimmingly.

I second this point - you aren't going as a CD with others who are CDing, sounds like you're being asked to go more as entertainment for others...not a bad thing if you have that in you. I'm not sure if i do or not...good luck...

[ArleneRaquel]

Do it ! I say so even the fact is I haven't built up the courage yet myself. Maybe someday.

[suzy]

Do it! Go on and indulge! It sounds like a fun time to me!

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Arimythe, What are you waiting for, An engraved invitation or something ??

Go now and hurry up and get dresses to the Nines.

[Ariamythe]

LOL! I am thoroughly convinced. I was over thinking it, and I'm just going to enjoy this opportunity if the party happens.

[Megan70]

Guess the decisons' made, Case Closed... end of Story... ENJOY Aria

[Michelle13]

Why not? I'm sure you'll both have fun!

[Julie Denier]

What an amazing opportunity! I'll join the chorus of those saying "yea!" ;)

[denese013]

You have not learned yet? NEVER say no to wife.

[Nichola]

Just go with it, sounds a wonderful safe envirnonment for a bit of fun:)

[Teddie]

Do it. Do it. Do it. But, don't do it as your fem self. Camp it up really good, the big hair, the heavy makeup, etc. But, all in all. Just have fun. Oh yeah. We want to see pictures.

[Yvonne York]

Yes, go for it. I have done it in the past - dressed en femme for fancy dress. Love it when the GGs realise that under all the layers, you have femme lingerie and stockings. Maybe, just maybe, they know how much it means to me.

[Ariamythe]

Do it. Do it. Do it. But, don't do it as your fem self. Camp it up really good, the big hair, the heavy makeup, etc.

Agreed. Drag is performance and entertainment, not emulation. I'll be aiming for comedy with side of innuendo. ;)


Oh yeah. We want to see pictures.
Most definitely.

[CD_DIANE]

Definitely go for it ! Will some people talk...... probably.... for about 5 minutes..... until they find something (or someone) else to talk about !! ? !

Diane

[Brenda Freeman]

If my wife asked me to dress up in drag and go to a party with her girl friends (First it wont happen) but if it did I would jump on it I have met them all and I would love the follow up conversations I believe it would be all good! Plus over the top feminine finery a drag queen uniform if you will would be so fun and at their request wow! as for drag queen its an act, some enjoy, gay or staright its the level of make up and feminine swagger! All for fun and entertainment. Every time I dress up I have fun so do it, enjoy it, own it! I think the follow up converastions will be the funnest. I think your wife is great by the way, So many of us wish we were in a relationship where we could share all of our selves with complete openness (is that a word?)! Do it tell us all about it!

[Amanda_Robinson]

If your wife wants to you to do it and you want to do it then by all means, enjoy yourself. :-)
Let us know how it turns out!
~Amanda

[Shelly Preston]

I know I would not do this

You know you will be seen as the entertainment which is correct in the circumstances.

I am not sure your friends will see the serious side of dressing should you take it further in the future

[MarcyRex]

I'd concur with the others about enjoying a potentially wonderful night of letting your hair down with an accepting audience. Strut your stuff.
I, personally, would have the wife declare an (?over-the-top fem?) dress code such that you are not the only person dressed to the nines. And provides a reasonable expectation, that all participants will be looking thier best. Should reduce any expectation of you being there for entertainment only. Shared misery, don't ya know.

[famousunknown]

If I do drag now, then in the future one or more of these women finds out I'm a crossdresser, they might conflate the two and assume I'm really some sort of flaming queen.


You mean you're not?

[Ariamythe]

I know I would not do this

You know you will be seen as the entertainment which is correct in the circumstances.

I am not sure your friends will see the serious side of dressing should you take it further in the future
That had been my concern in the OP. But now that I think about it, I think people will believe what they want no matter what.

[Chickhe]

I would do it...great opportunity to get a makeover by a makeup artist. Could be some work pulling together a costume and if you are expected to put on a show etc.. but, then again, I imagine it would be a hit just being part of the party!

[Nikki50/50]

Only you retain the sole right to anwer that question. 'Should' carries tremendous weight insofar as a self-posed query. I wonder if a party-costume request warrants such a desire for affirmation among peers?

[Stephanie47]

I think you should go for it! If your wife announces that she has convinced you to be a 'drag queen' for the event, then let her suggest the other women make suggestions and assist in selecting your wardrobe. The sooner your wife announces her request and your acceptance, the more time there is available to "practice" walking in heels.

I am assuming the women will want to watch the episode, so I would not expect you to be "prancing" around during the entire episode. If it's your intent to provide entertainment, you're going to need to develop an act. Better start planning.