I just don't know anymore...

[Betty_42]

I suppose the logical place to start would be the beginning? I don't know specifically why I want to change myself. All I know is that I do. That said, I recently started using "things" to increase the size of my bust. My wife logically explained to me about a month later that the changes in my characteristics (breasts and butt) were freaking out my in-laws whom we currently live with, and that I'll have to wait until after we move out on our own again to continue... I was extremely distraught over this and literally cried myself to sleep with my Hello Kitty plush doll whom I named Shelby. This continued for about a week until I began to feel a little better, but still... I don't know why I want this and I don't know precisely what to do about it? I'm still a bit upset, but I hide it well.

I also don't know why I'm saying this here? Perhaps I just want attention, or maybe, just maybe I want a friend and some helpful advice? I'm thinking that it's probably a combination of the two, but I welcome any input here regardless... The program was somewhat successful anyway. In the month I did it, I went from an AA cup to an A cup... However, I'm still fairly certain that surgery is not necessary for one such as I...

[SarahMarie42]

I don't know if I'm knowledgeable enough to provide any advice, but I can certainly serve as a friend :]

And I think it's cute that you have a Hello Kitty plush -- I've never had the courage to own one -.- Lol

Anyway.

I hope you feel better, obviously

-Sarah- <3

[Serana]

I'm really not sure what to make of this situation. It seems certainly one that's going to tax your mind for a while. Perhaps it might be best to look at what the most important parts of your life are, and try to prioritize them a bit? That's not to say to make it a code to live by if you do do that, but perhaps it might give some insight, and perhaps help your wife to gain some insight too? Maybe make a list of the five.. or maybe ten most important things going on in your life, and in her's, and see how you can help prioritize your lives to maybe find the best way to do things?

I'm assuming by in-laws you mean her family? I suppose I can see the pressure on her to maybe talk to you about it, but I feel that it's perhaps a bit... rough on your wife too to make her be the one who has to talk to you about it.

If you don't mind my asking, how long until you think you'll have moved out too? A month? 3 months? A year or more? Obviously that helps to sort the priorities out.

I'm only young mind, and so I don't have any real clue or experience about marriage or being in a proper relationship, I'm not really sure if there's anything I can do to help... but I can understand the pain of having to wait, or not being able to take the things that really help change your life for the better, and your mental state.

However, if you need someone to vent to, who can maybe offer some advice here and there, or just listen, feel free to PM me and we can talk about stuff~

XD Besides, I love Hello Kitty, she was the inspiration for my middle name~

Sera

[Betty_42]

Well thank you Serana! You probably made more headway than you realize. That said, it is an excellent point to say that her parents are likely placing undo stress on her as well. That said, we'll likely be moving out sometime early next year and it really is killing me inside... Not sure why? Anyway, I'm not so certain how well the priority list could go, although it may be a good idea to make one and consider emailing it to her later? The inherent beauty of my situation is that I haven't done anything just yet and so everything should remain fairly constant until I do...

[Serana]

A year almost? Heaven's above... nobody can be forced to put anything on hold for that long, it just doesn't seem right to me. I think you need to definitely try and talk to her about priorities and stuff, and... I dunno, can her parents be persuaded? Are they perhaps a bit too old and set in their ways or are they more open minded or so?

I definitely think a sit down with them over a cup of coffee and a "family chat" would really help. But that's something that might put strain on the relationship with your wife too. I'm assuming your wife was OK with it from the start or has come to accept or so? I definitely think judging the situation based on basic reactions is going to be quintessential in figuring out how to approach it, though I would definitely advise caation, as it could be something that makes one person -really- uncomfortable, who knows?

If there's anything you need though, I'd definitely be willing to help where I can, I really hope that you can sort everything out, and maybe even come to a compromise. Even if it means hiding it a bit more in the house, and being a bit more yourself with your wife on nights out and stuff? Anything to help give that feeling of being -you-, and hopefully in a minimalistic way that keeps everyone happy perhaps....

The sooner you approach this, hopefully the sooner you can nip the issues in the bud and come to a really good compromise with everyone in the house.

A personal question about the family, but is it just the parent-in-laws, or is there anymore in the house maybe? Anyone younger? Older? Helps to gain some more perspective for me, and I come from a big family with lots of ages all over the spectrum (not anymore though, had to get out of that one sadly. But the show must go on!).

Must admit, when my mother tried to stop me I cried like a baby, like a girl who had lost her puppy lol. It sucks, a lot, but hopefully you can find a way around it! :)

Because in my experience, when someone gets unhappy from something, and it's something important... it's not going to end well. Unhappy feelings can only be held in so well until someone lets their emotions out, whoever it is, and hurts someone. But you have to be prepared for some criticism too... be it positive or negative. Don't lose your smile! <3

[Rianna Humble]

I am concerned when you say that you don't know why you want to change yourself. How deeply have you discussed this with your wife? Or did you just present her with a fait accompli?

From your other posts, you don't seem to identify as transsexual, is this changing?

Perhaps this pause whilst you are living with your in-laws could give you the opportunity to start exploring these things with a qualified gender therapist?

[Badtranny]

That said, I recently started using "things" to increase the size of my bust. My wife logically explained to me about a month later that the changes in my characteristics (breasts and butt) were freaking out my in-laws whom we currently live with,..

What? There isn't an HRT program in the world that will do what you described here.

[Betty_42]

Well there isn't anything like that around here for quite some distance. Although I suppose I probably should talk about this with someone? Is there maybe a website I can go to?

[Andrea J]

I don't know if this is a stupid idea but could you wear baggy shapeless clothes around the in-laws so as to detract from the changes until you move out? I also have read that a sports bra can also reduce the apperence of growing breasts.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

my advice would be to patent the "things" and sell them to transsexuals...

it would be valuable for you to meet some like minded people and think about what you are doing and why...it can get pretty hairy if you've been denying or repressing something for a long period and it starts to surface..it can result in bad decisions ...so info is your weapon