How commonly do TS's experience fetishes for CD'ing at some point in their lives?

[Katherine20]

Yes, I know CD'ing isn't the right word for TS's but you know what I mean: Dressing for the gender they were NOT assigned at birth.

(You can flip this question round for FTM's too.)

So I used to think that CD'rs commonly experienced fetishistic feelings for CD'ing and some men have fetishes for the fantasy of being female, but that TS's did not have these fetishes. TS's just needed to transition to be happy. So if this is true, whether someone has a fetish for CD'ing or not could be used as a diagnostic tool to see if someone is TS.

But the more I look into these things the less clear cut they seem to be. I have read accounts from two MTF TS's, both transitioned and post-op, and I believe happy with their transition, but both had strong fetishes for CD'ing at one point.

So what I'd like to know is how common is this? How commonly have TS's had fetishes for CD'ing etc. at some point in their lives? Can this fetish or lack of it be used as a TS diagnostic tool?

Now I know that this is the sort of thing that people don't really want to talk about so I'm just hoping that I will get some information.

[SarahMarie42]

I asked a similar question a while ago and received dozens of varying answers. You are the only person who can decide what your feelings mean, and you must decide that in consultation with an experienced gender-therapist (that was the most common answer I received, and it's a damned good one). Sexuality and gender are enormously complex, and if you, like myself, start seeking out simple answers in hopes of instant clarification -- you will be gravely disappointed. Turning these questions over to a whole community of individuals with diverse opinions will only serve to further confuse you. The above answer is the only worthwhile answer which will be provided, and it WILL be provided by many.

I'm figuring myself out too, but I've realized that I can't ask other people to tell me who I am or what I'm feeling.

[docrobbysherry]

What Sarah said! I came here looking for sign posts, too, Kathy. And, like u, after reading so many posts here, got to where on the TG/TS road I thot I stood.

I waited 4 years for my "female side" to show herself. And, for arousal when dressing to stop. Now, I've given up waiting for those shoes to drop!

[Kittie]

Talk about trying to find a grey answer in an ocean of grey. This type of question will never have a clear cut answer in a community of such diversity and differing life experiences. The only answers people can give are those of personal experiences and those types of answers will not help you find out who you are.

As for this being some kind of diagnostic tool - It is highly likely that if you seek transition, you will be asked whether or not you get sexual arousal or gratification from how you dress.

I'm also going to be a little obtuse and say - I don't consider my wearing female clothing to be "crossdressing". :thumbsup:

[Rianna Humble]

I have not studied your question, and am not scientifically qualified to give an authoritative answer, but I do know from what I have read here and people I have talked to IRL that a number of us try cross-dressing as a coping mechanism whilst we are either trying to understand who we are or simply in denial.

It would not be impossible for some of those to experience the dressing in fetish terms for at least a period.

If what I just wrote is true, then using fetish as a diagnostic tool would be seriously flawed.

[I Am Paula]

For a very short while in my teens, dressing became sexual. Part of it may just be being a teenager. Everthing makes a teenager horny. Very quickly I discovered my need to BE female, and the erotic aspect disappeared-Celeste

[Xrys]

it never was a fetish for me. it was my first physical act of self acceptance. there was no arousal the first time i put on womens clothes, just a lot of crying and emotional stuff for me, which was a bit awakard because i was in the mens dressing room at kohls. each of our journeys are different and ti makes little difference what questions you ask on this forum in trying to find indicators. you will always get some yes, some no, some mabey, some i dont know, and you will always get only you can know for you and get profesional help to figure it out. there are no constants in the ts equasion. we all have different values to the variables in our own equasion. there is no sure fire indicator for figureing this out. i spent seven years looking for one. it aint out there. i hope you figure things out, but i know how long that can take sometimes. be patient, get help when and where you can, and just keep at it.

[Starling]

The first time I ever wore a dress of my mother's, at age eleven or so, I painted my toenails and imagined I was a girl. There was no sex involved. Later, in my alienation and confusion over who and/or what I might be from the limited range of choices available in my youth, I did seek sexual gratification from wearing various items of female clothing, particularly shoes.

But years later, after a girlfriend skillfully dressed me, wigged me and made me up for an amateur theatrical, I looked in the mirror and saw me in there, for the first time! From then on, dressing was not enough; it couldn't quiet the noise in my heart.

So in answer to your question, Kath, I believe the only true diagnostic for trans-ness is that you identify as the opposite gender and want to get repaired. All the rest is simply a stopgap measure.

:) Lallie

[Aimee20]

I would think it safe to assume that many MTF transsexuals experience some form of arousal related to the first times dressing, most of this comes from the reaction of a testosterone soaked brain responding to a flood of emotions. I can only really soak on my own experiences in saying that the typical male arousal is very disheartening for someone who is female gendered.

I've only clearly understood myself for a couple of years and it took finally seeing a therapist to help me break down twenty years of unhealthy coping mechanisms that I had used to black out most of mychildhood and the extreme physical abuse I had received when my father was trying to "beat the gay out of me". When i first started dressing there were so many emotions that I felt and they were translated as arousal followed by guilt, shame and confusion.

To answer your question about dressing being a fetish before transitioning, in my experience I would say no. And during transition, I can again only speak for myself but I look forward to losing the ability for typical male arousal.

[Katherine20]

Thank you for all the advice and the kind words. And to those people that used the shortened form of my name, it was so nice to hear as I have only chosen it recently no one has done that before.


Talk about trying to find a grey answer in an ocean of grey. This type of question will never have a clear cut answer in a community of such diversity and differing life experiences. The only answers people can give are those of personal experiences and those types of answers will not help you find out who you are.

As for this being some kind of diagnostic tool - It is highly likely that if you seek transition, you will be asked whether or not you get sexual arousal or gratification from how you dress.

So does that mean that the therapists might use it as a diagnostic tool? Even though most people here seem to be saying that it shouldn't be used as one?


and it makes little difference what questions you ask on this forum in trying to find indicators. you will always get some yes, some no, some mabey, some i dont know, and you will always get only you can know for you and get profesional help to figure it out.

This is a good and interesting point but I think it still is helpful to read about other peoples experiences and this can give a better insight into these gender issues as a whole.

[Nicole Erin]

Shoot I still got a sexual fetish for hosiery. To a lesser extent, high heel sandals also. The rest of the femme garb doesn't do much for me though.
So what if someone "enjoys" certain articles of clothing or whatever? Doesn't mean they are less of a TS or whatever crap.

Honestly - I think a lot more TS have fetishes related to certain femme things than they would admit. I mean SOMEthing has to drive it.

[Rogina B]

So what if someone "enjoys" certain articles of clothing or whatever? Doesn't mean they are less of a TS or whatever crap.

Honestly - I think a lot more TS have fetishes related to certain femme things than they would admit. I mean SOMEthing has to drive it.
Well put! There are however some TS's that have little interest in the trappings of femininity,as they feel "everything is in their head".So,they feel it is alright to present as if they are off to a goat roping which causes uncaring people to view them as a "very mixed bag".Sometimes there are consequences from that. Just what I see..

[LeaP]

Well put! There are however some TS's that have little interest in the trappings of femininity,as they ...

Completely different topic.

I get what you are saying, Erin, but don't view sensuality attached to something like lingerie as fetish. It can be if it is a craving and needed, but that's an entirely different level of focus and intensity.