Knowing who you can tell......

[angelinamillar]

Hi Girls, You know I have been dressing well a while, The usual, I've felt like this since trying on sisters leotard and tights when I was young and 30 years later here I am. I have been with my gf for 18 years and Angelina and her do not get on so well these days so we tend to keep them apart. I have one of my best friends who knows. Kind of told him whilst very trashed on my 25th birthday and he is really cool bout it thank god.

Now I have another small group of friends I truly can call friends.... Well if it wasn't for the fact that I just know there is no way they would understand if I told them are they really true friends. The problem is as many of you may well know is that we get our girly nights. the time we can let our hair down (or put hair on) dress up, do our make up, do our nails and have a few glasses of wine.
Now annoyingly one of my friends has a bad habit of just showing up out of the blue even thou I have said so many times please call before you just show up....falls of deaf ears.

You know your nails are done and full makeup so there is no way you can do the obligatory run upstairs and quickly cover up. So you have to sit quiet in your own house with your so called best friend knocking on the door. Even thou u know he can see in, he knows my motorbike is in the drive and the lights are on.

So bloody annoying as I have now not spoken to him for 2 days and he prob thinks I was just ignoring him for the sake of it and that is not the reason. If I was to tell him why then all become clear but I simply do not think he would be cool.... So bloody frustrating girls..... Why does this life feel like you are living a double live!! Ok rant over.


Angelina xoxo

[PaulaQ]

Why does this life feel like you are living a double live!! Ok rant over.


Because you ARE living a double life. Many of us are. It is hard.

[Jamie001]

Friends that cannot accept the real you are not friends. A good way to determine who is really your friend is to tell them that you wear feminine items.

[Lorileah]

So you are ranting about you having a friend but you don't want that friend to be your friend and you don't want to trust that friend with your life? To be rather blunt, you have two options. Stay the way you are, put up with not answering the door and hiding when anyone shows up or telling your friend about you and if he is a true friend he will accept it (or at least stop coming over uninvited).

[angelinamillar]

So you are ranting about you having a friend but you don't want that friend to be your friend and you don't want to trust that friend with your life? To be rather blunt, you have two options. Stay the way you are, put up with not answering the door and hiding when anyone shows up or telling your friend about you and if he is a true friend he will accept it (or at least stop coming over uninvited).

Thanks for your honestly.. I think.

[Laura912]

The litmus test of the friendship and the solution to arriving unannounced are the same...tell him.

[Wildaboutheels]

NO ONE can predict who will "accept", who will or won't tell others, who will drop you like a hot potato or who might think being a CDer is just the coolest thing...

You have 2 CHOICES here. Tell your bozo inconsiderate friend and take your chances or take what's behind door #2. Go on doing what your doing. And be miserable.

Keep in mind that no amount of "education" [or lack of] nor # of years of friendship will have any bearing on whether anyone will accept your hobby/habit/obsession/drive or anything else you might wish to call it.

The REALITY is that many folks CLAIM to be open minded but few are.

[Christie ann]

NO ONE can predict who will "accept", who will or won't tell others, who will drop you like a hot potato or who might think being a CDer is just the coolest thing...

The REALITY is that many folks CLAIM to be open minded but few are.

it does seem that often its OK for some amorphous person out there to be a CD but its not OK for my husband, son, dad, friend. I do appreciate the stories here about accepting relatives and friends, I just haven't personally experienced it.

[Beverley Sims]

Open the door to him one night dressed and say I am going out, want to come?
He will either accept or go away.

[Jenniferathome]

Actually, a good lesson was taught to this person. The "pop by" can be annoying regardless of the state of dress.

Now, if you really want to out yourself, the thing to remember is that your FRIENDS do not have nearly as much invested in you as your girlfriend/wife. It's a thing they can walk away from anytime they like, so the reaction is likely to be far more mild than that of your girlfriend.

By the way, you need to discuss Angelina with your gf. Your "these days" comment smells like a change has occurred.

God luck


Friends that cannot accept the real you are not friends. A good way to determine who is really your friend is to tell them that you wear feminine items.

Come on, this is too extreme. Friends do not have to accept or embrace every part of you. They are allowed to be confused, just like anyone. This isn't a hobby that is hard to understand, like bird watching. Cross dressing is weird to virtually anyone outside the cross dresser congregation. Hell, it's weird to ME and I wear dresses!

[suzy1]

Friends that cannot accept the real you are not friends. A good way to determine who is really your friend is to tell them that you wear feminine items.

If only life was that simple. If only life was that black or white.:straightface:

A very good friend of mine died the other day.
But like most people [including me] he was not perfect.
He found it hard to accept homosexuality and I could never imagine him ever accepting CDing.
But he was one of the best friends I ever had.

[Nikki Rich]

I have a good friend I really want to tell , his wife already knows , my wife and his suggested I write him a letter for him to read with his wife present because his initial reaction my be negative but we all believe after he has a little time to process it he will still love and accept me. I have to remember this is going to be a shock to him , he's know me one way and this is going to kinda change our relationship in a way. Sorry for rambling but I guess my point is maybe a letter to your friend might be a good way to break it to him in a non threatening way for you.

[Stevie]

Yep we are living a double life. I didn't even want to tell my wife. What you said is sort of what I'm dealing with. Hopefully you and him can start talking again. Time will tell. But I wouldn't tell him if you feel he's not receptive of it.

[angelinamillar]

Thanks for all the feedback and advice girls. Lots of thinking to do. Maybe the issue is just to say to turning up uninvited, Just call first as I might be busy, Simples. Too much worry telling someone I just don't think will understand and think may tell others.

Thanks all,

Hugs, Angelina x