Ack! or Trying Not To Go Manic About This

[Julie1123]

Quick recap: My girlfriend knows I like to crossdress but doesn't particularly care for it but she loves me a lot so we came to the understanding that as long as she didn't have to see it, it wouldn't bother her. She has always shown an aversion towards men dressed as women as well. I told her that if she ever wanted to talk to me about it she could, and she has stated that she probably never will.

So the other night two things happened and I'm trying to not drive myself crazy over analyzing them. We were out at a club with some of her friends. There was a pretty good band and the floor was packed. Really loud music. One of my girlfriend's friends mentioned that she was thinking about going to a drag show in a few weeks. I expected my girlfriend to shrug it off, which is what she generally does if she doesn't like something that others do, but she didn't. She said that she would be up for that, that she'd never been to one and that it might be interesting.

The other thing that happened was that my girlfriend noticed a guy in a kilt standing at the very edge of the upper level of the club. She pointed it out to me and said, with a lot of humor, doesn't he know you should never stand on the edge of a balcony when wearing a kilt? And then she placed a hand on my chest very gently and said "You never stand at the edge of a balcony when wearing a kilt." I don't wear kilts and the whole intimacy of the moment has got me wondering if she was implying skirt.

Ack!

As always, would love to hear feedback and comments from everyone. If any GG's have any insight on if this is a good sign or if I'm getting ahead of myself here. That would be very appreciated.

[NikiMichelle]

It might be a case of hearing what you want hear but it might also be a case that your g/f has spent some time thinking about your CDing. I would "very carefully" press her a bit on "what she meant" with respect to her actions when a good moment presents itself...but be prepared that it could be nothing or even an attempt to embarrass you.

[sandra-leigh]

Go to the drag show with her. And let the remark about balconies ride. Except, of course, to take it to heart to never stand near the edge of a balcony or the edge of open-air bleachers when wearing a skirt.

[ThisIsBob]

Go to the drag show with her. And let the remark about balconies ride. Except, of course, to take it to heart to never stand near the edge of a balcony or the edge of open-air bleachers when wearing a skirt.

I have to second this. Definitely go to the show with her if at all possible. The kilt comment was definitely too ambiguous to deal with, so just let that one go. If more similar comments occur, then you may want to try to gently turn it into a dialogue, but I wouldn't push it on a single comment like that.

[Jenniferathome]

Don't read into this too much. BUT, this makes for a great conversation starter. "Hey babe, I thought a drag show wouldn't be your thing. What's up with that?" "You know I don't wear kilts, were you trying to protect me from the next time i'm in a skirt?"

Get the conversation going.

[PaulaQ]

My first thought on reading those comments was "she's setting you up for a test", aka "IT'S A TRAP!!!!"

No way to know though - so go, but step gingerly.

[katlee]

If she talked to you before that she didn't want to see you in dress, than I would take it as her being playful. Remember it is one thing to see guys dress as girls, it is another thing to see HER guy dressed as a girl.

[Beverley Sims]

You are overthinking the kilt bit and the drag show would be acceptable to most.
Go and be in the fun and do not refer it to yourself even if you would like to.
Let it paint a pleasant picture in your girlfriends mind.

[andreanna]

to be honest with you, sounds to me like she may have had a few to many drinks

[NicoleScott]

we came to the understanding that as long as she didn't have to see it, it wouldn't bother her.

Remember this (^^^) and don't push it. If she is softening her position, let her reveal that to you instead of pulling it out of her. Go to the show with her, but let her lead any discussions about [your] crossdressing.

[Ressie]

The kilt remark was a way of letting you know there are rules women have to avoid being tacky and you don't know what you're getting into. Mind reading is never accurate with women, so you'll have to start asking her questions to find out more.

I have a feeling that she's strongly against you going out dressed in public, but I'm probably just thinking of one of my ex's view.

[Lacyfem]

I think you got your answer. Go to the drag show and leave the kilt thing alone.

[Megan72]

As stated, first go to the show, they are a lot of fun for both men and women. My instinct tells me that your other half was being playful and using something that she knows you like as a focal point to play with, it's not a bad thing, my wife does it all the time; it's a conversation building technique. It does not mean she is warming to the ide of CDing, it also does not mean that she is being hateful either. It sounds like she was just playing, but only she will be able to tell you that for sure.

[April_Ligeia]

I had similar experiences with my exwife (note the 'ex').

[Karren H]

I vote trap but still..... I think you should go for it! You know that someday your going to have to confront the issue so why not do it in public at the drag show! don't forget to take photos.....

[Julie1123]

I'll be out of town the weekend of the show so the conversation was pretty much just between the gf and her friend. I wasn't really skeptical that she was trying to set me up for something, considering there wasn't a chance that I could go, more just surprised that she expressed interest in going when her friend brought it up.

Edit: I don't really plan on bringing it up unless she does. Definitely not going to be pushy about it.

[Kate Simmons]

Gotta watch those kilts Hon. They may just make you feel feminine while looking like a guy. Then again, it's all mostly mindset anyway. Just an example of head games that are played sometimes.:)

[Wildaboutheels]

Your GF was most definitely sending you a message.

Of some sort.

"She pointed it out to me and said, with a lot of humor, doesn't he know you should never stand on the edge of a balcony when wearing a kilt? And then she placed a hand on my chest very gently and said "You never stand at the edge of a balcony when wearing a kilt."

When a woman says something twice, there IS a motive.

Of course since she's a FEmale, it could be mean most anything. I think it was wise of you to not pursue the remark. Just file it away and wait till she goes to the drag show and wants to "discuss" the drag show with you. My guess is she will. Then you can casually ask if any of the men at the show were wearing kilts allowing her the opportunity to expound on her earlier kilt remark if she chooses. She may very well pretend she doesn't remember the remark.

Maybe she has reconsidered or softened her stance but to do so would be to admit she was "wrong" initially. My guess is she wants to talk about it. If she does, JUST listen and don't try to offer any "solutions" of any sort!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Also, what may help, [per Mars/Venus] is to maintain eye contact and throw in an occassional nod or grunt so she KNOWS you are listening. The trifecta is to know the RIGHT time to offer a hug and something to the effect of "Honey, it's no wonder you feel the way you do" and then stop talking. There are a few variations of this phrase.

A great oversimplification perhaps? ^^^^

Amazingly effective?

Yes - for many women.

Of course, having to sit and listen and ONLY being able to nod and grunt might not seem fair or "doable" to many guys.

Just make sure in ANY conversation with a female about ANYthing that you do do "way more" listening than talking.

[DonnaT]

Personally, I don't think she had any agenda or hidden message. I would think it to be a bit of conversation with a touch of innuendo humor. A bit of innuendo you and she are only privy to. A small crack in the closet door.

If she is going to the drag show, just remind her that these are over-the-top entertainers, not 'common' crossdressers. Then leave the subject alone, until (or if) she brings it up after the show.

[ronny0]

If you are in a good relationship.
Why ponder what she might have been trying to say.
Just ask her if their was something else in the conversation that you missed

[Jenniferathome]

Edit: I don't really plan on bringing it up unless she does. Definitely not going to be pushy about it.

I think this is a terrible lost opportunity. Discussion is the only way to any compromise and this is a perfect conversation starter! "Honey, are you really going out with Marsha toa drag show? I thought you hated cross dressing."

[audreyinalbany]

I don't know either, but I do know that my wife has always had a kind of approach/avoidance. Sometimes she gets into the 'that's so weird' mode. Other times she'll make a joke about it. Lately she's lightened up a bit and seems not to be taking it quite so seriously, although she stil down't want to be directly involved, she'll ask casually when she comes home if I dressed up while she's been gone.

[Leah Lynn]

Many years ago I was in a pipe and drum band at a Marine base. We wore kilts, the Marines have their own tartan. As instructed, we went "Regimental". Was she referring to that aspect?

Leah

[Alice B]

She was not reffering to a kilt and I agree that she is starting to loosen up about your dressing. Let nature take it's course and don't push it.

[kimdl93]

Never read minds. Wait, watch and listen.