Where should I go dressed the first time en femme?

[alisa63]

I think tomorrow is the big day and I will have a chance to go out dressed during the day. I still see a guy in women's clothes when I dress but I may just be critical of myself. So my question is where should I go? The easy one is a McDonald's drive through but I want to get out of the car and walk around downtown or go shopping at Walmart or maybe goodwill. I really dont care what people think but would like to see what type of reaction i receive. I am open to any suggestions

Kisses

[I Am Paula]

Anyplace but Walmart. It is the home planet of narrow minded redneck inbred bottom dwellers. Always avoid anywhere that you find nascar hats and tube tops in the formal wear section. There is one saving grace. You will most likely be the most beautiful woman there. If you decide to go, dress as the locals- Pajama bottoms and crocs. Baseball hat over dirty hair. Spongebob t-shirt. Barbed wire tattoo around arm.

Best of luck. Where ever you go, have fun!

[Beverley Sims]

In answer to your question I usually say "out".
Mind you window shopping is always good to get a feel of what you are doing and shopping malls are a great place to wander through.
Unlike others I do not find Walmart intimidating.

Celeste,
You do have a good description of Wal Martians, they bear no resemblance to the real ones from Mars that have a higher intelligence quotient.
They can be easily identified as they are green.

[Fran Moore]

Hey Alisa, I agree with Celeste, and would not do Walmart. Target would be a better choice if you are looking for a box store experience. I don't know if you are in the city, burbs, or small town, but you could also do a museum, or similar public venue like a park, waterfront, or any open space that allows you the freedom to move around and feel feminine and enjoy yourself without the pressures of being restricted in a building while under camera surveillance. Wherever you decide to go, keep your head up, smile, and MAKE it a good day. The first time is a special time!

[TxCassie]

Dear, you forgot about the Honey Boo Boo smock :battingeyelashes:

[Kelly Smith]

Go get a makeover. Ulta is good but the MAC counter at Macy's is even better. Shop for shoes at Macy's then go to Victoria's Secret and buy a Bombshell bra and some pretty panties. You will have SO much fun;)

Love and hugs,
Kelly

[Eryn]

For your first outing most prefer a situation where you have to do minimal interaction with others yet are still in public. I like to go strolling at a mall. This allows you to adjust your activity to match your level of comfort. If you just want to walk you can cruise along and windowshop. If something catches your eye you can go into a shop and look at it. Salespeople tend to be very tolerant as they just see a customer. When shopping do it at a GG pace. One of the "tells" that seems to give CDers away is flitting from rack to rack rapidly. Take your time and enjoy the experience. If someone gives you a second look it doesn't mean you've been made, but your reaction can give you away. If someone looks at me I now tend to move toward them rather than away. Showing confidence seems to carry the day.

I also like shopping at Kohls as they tend to be friendly, uncrowded, and the dressing rooms are unattended. The prices are such that I don't break the bank if I buy a few things. I like DSW and Off Broadway shoes for the same reason.

One place I don't recommend is an LGBT bar. While they may be accepting, the combination of alcohol and flexible attractions may put a hesitant CDer in an uncomfortable position. Save that venue for after you get some experience.

[CassandraSmith]

Anywhere with minimal sexual competitiveness going on like a Hallmark store, Florist, Antiques shop, or even a pet store.

[Kalista Jameson]

Lol, tgirlceleste just described the Walmart where I live, in Washington. The pajama bottom thing....don't get it at all. :)

Hit the local casino if you have one. You can actually do something fun while out.

Cheers,

Kalista

[Tracii G]

Pet stores are a great place believe it or not and so is Goodwill for your first time.
Malls are Ok too just act like you belong there wherever you decide to go.
Day time is best and yes bars are not a good idea.

[PaulaQ]

Go get a makeover. Ulta is good but the MAC counter at Macy's is even better.

I'm going to have to agree with this one, even though I'm too shy to go out yet. Before I could admit to myself that I am a crossdresser, I have, over the years, bought lots of makeup for my wife as a gift. The first few times I did this, frankly, it all scared the hell out of me, because I didn't know *anything* about makeup, and oh my gosh, some of the sales associates use a LOT of product. (Little did I know that someday - *I* would use a lot of product...)

After doing it a few times, it got less scary, and in fact, they frequently tried to sell ME cosmetic products. Mostly ones aimed at men. (They read me apparently better than I read myself!) Anyway, it became obvious to me that as long as I had a credit card, they'd sell me anything I wanted and it did not matter who it was for. They will have no problem doing a makeover, showing you how to use product, etc. Because your good credit buys a LOT of non-judgement at those counters. Do this during the middle of the week, when it's dead - you will have ZERO problems, I would bet.

I am still marvelling at the irony that this all used to terrify me, but now I kind of want to go back sometime. Because I really COULD use tips on how to improve my look. (Or even master really basic techniques... lol)

[Amanda_Robinson]

My first public place was a local casino.

[Rachelakld]

I did McDonalds McCafe for an early morning coffee (6.00-7am when it's all quiet). Also had to use the ladies room while there.
It's also easy to leave if it gets to busy, and I can normally park right next to their entry.

[linda allen]

I think tomorrow is the big day and I will have a chance to go out dressed during the day. I still see a guy in women's clothes when I dress but I may just be critical of myself. So my question is where should I go? The easy one is a McDonald's drive through but I want to get out of the car and walk around downtown or go shopping at Walmart or maybe goodwill. I really dont care what people think but would like to see what type of reaction i receive. I am open to any suggestions

Kisses

First of all, dress like a GG would for the ime of day and place you intend to go. No 5" heels and heavy makeup for a 10:00AM stroll around the mall.

Malls are good, parks are good, the downtown business or shopping district of your town or city is good. I am close to a city that's a tourist destination so the tourist area gives you the opportunity to blend in with people from out of town who won't know you.

I don't think Walmart is as bad as some people make it out to be. I wouln't be afraid to go to one dressed any more than any other store, but as someone else posted, a mall allows you to walk around and shop with little or no personal interaction with other people.

[kimdl93]

I'd suggest a Starbucks or other comfortable little coffee shop. Perhaps a trip to the mall and the MAC counter. My first outing included a trip to my hairdresser

[Stevie]

Have to agree no Wal-Mart. The casino is a good place. Going to the mall is another. Others can be going for a walk in the park. It all depends on what you feel like doing at the time.

[stephNE]

Hi Alisa,
I have found the ladies working at Dress Barn are very CD friendly.
My first time out was a stop in a 7-11.
Good luck and let us know how it went! Steph.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Alisa, Wherever you decide to go try to blend in as much as you can the last thing that you want is to stand out.

[Jillian Faith]

Simple answer is anywhere you want to go and feel comfortable...well at least as comfortable as you can. First time out can be nerve wraking. But this too shall pass! My first time out was Payless, Target and Kohls. As for Walmart it just depends on the Walmart.

Good luck

Hugs
Jill

[Maria S]

A shopping centre is a good place to go. People are more concerned with what they want to look at or where their little kids are running to. Until you are completely confident in "passing" avoid times when school children are out of school. Children can be more observant and less tolerating.

Maria

[kodak82]

My first time out. I went for a drive

[Stephanie47]

My first time out was taking a drive. My first interaction with humanity was on Halloween. I did that twice. Now, I drive to a residential/shopping district and take early evening walks. That limits interaction and gives me the best control over any situation that may arise.

Looking at your profile shot, I'd say you have a better body for passing. I'm six foot even and 195 pounds. I would stand out like a sore thumb in any retail store. I dress for stress relief and comfort which would be defeated for me to strut my dresses in a mall.

I would stay out of Wally World.

[Kelly in OC]

Also looking for going out in public for the first time. I always have the thinking that if people notice, I should go back to my car and leave as soon as possible. Is it not the right thing to do?

[Leslie Langford]

The short answer to that question is like the one for "Where does a 500 pound gorilla sleep?...ANYWHERE you want...;)

[celeste26]

Its has been a long time since my first time out, I stopped worrying and just go do my business. But one of my first trips out was to a movie. In the darkness no one knows or cares what others wear.

[Georgie]

my first time was Dublin city center in the day time, nobody blinked an eye, used public transport and everything :)

[Ressie]

The answer partly depends on where you live. Big city? Rural midwest? Canada? Paris? Some of us are apprehensive about going en femme anywhere because of the area we live in.

[Carmen]

One of the "tells" that seems to give CDers away is flitting from rack to rack rapidly. Take your time and enjoy the experience. If someone gives you a second look it doesn't mean you've been made, but your reaction can give you away. If someone looks at me I now tend to move toward them rather than away. Showing confidence seems to carry the day.
I also like shopping at Kohls as they tend to be friendly, uncrowded, and the dressing rooms are unattended. The prices are such that I don't break the bank if I buy a few things. I like DSW and Off Broadway shoes for the same reason.

Yes Alisa...Eryn summed it up. You are a customer just like anyone else. I carry that attitude when looking thru those clearance racks along with several GG's. We make eye contact and smile at each other and move on with our shopping. No one screams at me or runs away. Yes occasionally the gal next to me will be cautiously studying me...until I look over and bust them lol! Then it's off to the dressing room with an armload of things to try on! Gosh I love those clearance racks at Kohls! Shop early.

[JenniferMBlack]

I went to an outlet mall my first time. You got the stores and the open air. I avoid Wal Mart at all costs any more regardless of how I am dressed. Even in pajamas and crocs.

[julie marie1]

I went out for a drive. While this has a certain degree of anonymity to it, there is a certain degree of risk (what if I get stopped?)
I enjoy walking around the shopping or eating are of a small town at night (not real comfortable in the daylight.) Just as I don't look that closely at others I pass on the street, I believe others don't look that closely at me.

[Amy07]

I was going to say, don't go out if you don't feel that you'd be safe, with what you're local laws provide.

[reb.femme]

I always find the kitchen is a good place to start. Oh,....and while you're there, mines a tea, white, no sugar!

It's all been said, so happy tripping......not of the illegal substance type though!
Love the bit about Walmart. I saw a friend of my niece go to the shops in her PJs...........unbelievable!

Rebecca

[alisa63]

I did it. I did it. I did it. It was awesome!!! I went to goodwill and tried on a bunch of clothes and bought a dress. Then it was on to the drug store for lipstick and water. Last stop was a large busy gas station to pump gas. While gas was pumping I went inside and used the ladies room! It had 3 stalls so it was only semi private. No one really looked at me funny. I did notice guys looking at me more than women so I think they were checking me out. I will share more later and pics as well but wanted to thank everyone who responded and this board in general for giving me the confidence to get out of my car and walk into the first store. Can't wait to go out again!!!!! Where to next? Hmmmmm

[EnglishRose]

Love the bit about Walmart. I saw a friend of my niece go to the shops in her PJs...........unbelievable!


If you think that's unbelievable you haven't been to People of Walmart. :D

Anyway my first time out was with my spouse and friends for dinner. The extra support made all the difference.

[nhlighthouse]

I agree with you fully about kohl's ...they have great clearance buys and SA's and fine and there if you need them. As far as dress Barn goes /....not the greatest place to go in MOP!

[I Am Paula]

I was going to say, don't go out if you don't feel that you'd be safe, with what you're local laws provide.

Local laws? Are you in an Islamic country?
Your profile says D.C. The only law is that you must wear something. Unless I'm misreading.

[nhlighthouse]

Try going to the library, a cyber cafe or Waldren's and/or Barnes & Noble (bookstore) grab a coffee and relax and enjoy the scenery! I would even attend a public hearing and just quitely in the audience and see if the people can compose themselves. A ride to the dump if you have that social activety available to you in your town. Marshalls/Targets are great places to shop around some GREAT buys on clearance there. SAVERS a store in Manchester and Portsmouth NH has some good choices. These ar just some places I thought i would share.

[Jennifer Kelly]

I haven't gone out dressed yet, and the first time I do will probably be for Halloween which doesn't really count IMO, but here is my $0.02 anyway.

I have shopped in drab at Kohls before and no one batted an eye. The unattended fitting rooms are a huge plus.

Funny you should mention Wal-Mart, because I have bought panties, hosiery, and makeup there in drab before because the one near my house has self checkouts. And I usually will buy something else like a bath towel to cover everything up until I get to the register. Probably would never go there dressed though.

I would love to try (when I get the nerve to finally go out) to go somewhere for breakfast or coffee or whatever, but my female voice is horrible, so I guess I need to practice that first.

Glad you went out en femme and enjoyed it!

[Tracii G]

Glad it went well, see its not that hard and sooo much fun.

[FoxxxyBri]

First time I went out was late at night just walking around my neighborhood. I was told later that it was very dangerous of me but I felt no danger really. More nervousness about if I was passable. Took a bunch of pictures.

But shopping will be a challenge for me.

[socalcutie]

First time I went out was to Disneyland, and a few quick errands including a trip to Walmart. Disney is a wonderful place to go from everything I've heard, but I wouldn't be comfortable going alone. Maybe that's just because I'm still nervous about going anywhere. Disney is supposed to be famously accepting of us. I'm glad to hear you got to go out shopping en femme, I haven't managed to have that pleasure yet! At least not properly. To all the people speaking out against Walmart, it's not so bad. Just don't over dress. Dress in something simple, I was in a skirt and T-shirt and some flip-flops, and I fit right in without feeling trashy.

[Ann Louise]

I went to my trans support group meeting the first time I went out fully en femme. It was such a trip at stoplights in my new, red Mustang. I got some double-takes from guys on the corners, and even though I know I'm tripping, I was thinking they were thinking "look at that old blond broad in the Stang!" (nice car - LOL!). I have a great shoulder-length wig, and have figured out my makeup pretty well, so I think I look like a pretty classy older lady. Mary Janes, nice hose, a pencil skirt, embroidered top and a nice cardigan sweater. OMG did that feel so good. Rings, bracelets and earnings, too, of course. I loved it!

[JamieQ]

I would go out pump in some gas, wash the windshield, etc. park and go use the women's restroom. I think a mall would be a very good beginners choice. Just remember, more people around are probably to your benefit, expecially in a mall. they are so busy they barely paid attention to me. As for Walmart, I went there on number of occasions without problem but it was earlier morning...As others have said..."about anywhere you want to" and yes...just dress and behave like any other girl/woman...and enjoy! A major clothing store is great also! Just take your time everywhere and do not appear rushed. :)

[Deborah Kaye]

I went to shopping malls and window shopped first time out. Second time out I bought a new wig at a shop I had purchased from previously in drab, then to a lingerie shop for a new panty. Both those places I was "modeling" for SA who had seen me previously in drab, then a pair of shoes at Payless. By then my heels were aching my feet, so I did something about, bought new shoes,LOL!

[wilt575]

Lol, tgirlceleste just described the Walmart where I live, in Washington. The pajama bottom thing....don't get it at all. :)

Hit the local casino if you have one. You can actually do something fun while out.

Cheers,

Kalista

I second that idea thats where I went the first few times. There are a lot different types of people so you can gague how you blend in. I plaid slots near the bar area just to see if any reaction from just people relaxing and not cocentrating on there game, also plenty of security at casinos if someone tries to hassle you. Never had a problem being hassled

[Jennifer Kelly]

Maybe I'll try the casino thing next time I'm in Vegas.

[Hannah_Brooks]

Try going out to a tranny bar. You may have to drive many miles to find your nearest but it would be totally worth it. :)

[katiekat]

Try going out to a tranny bar. You may have to drive many miles to find your nearest but it would be totally worth it. :)

Really? I read on another post in this thread that bars are not for first timer. I guess there's no one correct answer for this...

[Michelle M]

[QUOTE=alisa63;3129109]I did notice guys looking at me more than women so I think they were checking me out.[QUOTE]

I still haven't gotten used to that. I automatically think I'm about to be challenged, I start to get angry, then they turn away.

This dawned on me one day at Walmart. A pretty girl walked by and caught me looking. I smiled and thought "Ahah! I get it. She must get this every day."

[MysticLady]

Go get a makeover. Ulta is good but the MAC counter at Macy's is even better.
Kelly

This will be my first stop



Its has been a long time since my first time out, I stopped worrying and just go do my business. But one of my first trips out was to a movie.

Thank you Celeste,thats a great idea,Im including it in my weekend venture later.

I thinking of sitting at a park(if the weather is nice) and reading a book.

[blackmamba]

If you can go to a CD/drag friendly salon in your area. It's fun and you might meet some like-minded people.

[AngelaSmith]

Walmart was my first public outing. Don't know why.... I hate walmart! Maybe because its the only place that was open at 3am. I'm still new at going out in publiic but love going to kohls, especially an hour or so before close so 10pm on a Friday. My first time to kohls was at 6am around the holidays. I think I was the only one in there and definatly the only one not half asleep! I just wish I had someone to do this stuff with! Congrats on your outing and let's see some pics! :-)

[jessi]

My suggestion:

NYC: Stroll on 5th Avenue from St. Pat's Cathedral down to the Flatiron Building. Plenty of people out. No one will care how you are dressed. You will be too busy people-watching yourself to be self-conscious. The shopping is excellent, too.

[adrienner99]

For your first time, would night be better? I went to a gay bar (I am not gay) that had drag shows...had no problems at all....In daylight, be cautious--try to avoid teenagers, esp. girls...