Not Acting

[andrea lace]

I was wondering.
How many many members of this forum actually act feminine when dressed. I have joked around with my wife and in good fun tried to soften my voice and even tried to walk like a female would while dressed.

The problem is that I am very bad at it and my wife and I would end up in hysterics at my attempts to impersonate (badly) a female.
I am no Robert De Niro, have never done any acting since primary school and decided I would not even try.
This means that I not only look like a bloke in a dress but act like one as well.
This is in total contrast to how I feel when dressed en femme but when trying to act like a girl I feel stupid.
When dressed I feel at my most relaxed and comfortable. So I tend to walk around the house dressed like a girl but looking and acting like a man.
I haven't had any desire to venture out but this forum has a way of encouraging and helping with ones self confidence to do so.
I know the journey I am on is my own but sometimes it does feel like a very scary ROLLER COASTER .

[Laura912]

When dressed, the movements, the walk, the facial expressions, and sometimes the voice sort of come naturally.

[Maria S]

I don't consider that I put on a feminine act. I am just me, perhaps I do it now without needing to think about it.

Maria

[vplshowoff]

Try some voice training http://www.heartcorps.com/journeys/voice.htm I'm not advertising this program. You can learn by looking over the website without subscribing.

[Angelofsomekind]

I agree, it kind of comes naturally. Not so much the voice, but the movements. Years ago after our first Be All, having spent all 4 days dressed 24/7, my wife and I had to go to a family party the very next day, she was worried that I would make some fem. movement or something like that, but if I'm not dressed it doesn't happen, it's not something I think about doing.

[AllieSF]

Who knows if one is acting or not. My goal from the beginning was to go out into the real world, blend as best possible and have a lot of fun, which I am happy to report that I am very successful at. To that end, for me, the basic and definite needs are a female shape (padding, squeezing and complimentary clothes that accentuate that which needs to be accentuated and hides that which needs to be hidden), wig, makeup to soften, hide and shine all at the same time, shoes, purse, coat, jacket or sweater, and other accessories, mainly jewelry. From there the physical static presentation is about right, then I need the movements, including walking and hand gestures, standing and sitting. Finally, it is the voice. I am not too good at that one, but sometimes I can make it work for me before I forget what I am doing and who I am talking to and revert back to my male voice. So, for me, even though I am a man in women's clothes, I want to lessen the negative man revealing impact on others by trying to pull that whole package and presentation together as close as possible to that of a genetic woman. It is important to me.

Though you and your wife my laugh at your efforts, with practice (over emphasizing the female motions, walk, etc. is recommended during that practice) you will find that some if not most of your male presentation will begin to soften when dressed and you will look less like a male ape in female clothes and more like a male looking women. It is not impossible, it just takes time and practice and some constructive criticism and suggestions from a trusted friend (SO's included). The end result is that your internal confidence goes up, you start to feel more like one of the other team, your presentation improves and it is much easier to enjoy your moments dressed at home and out. As your confidence increases so does your courage and those too things are key to getting you successfully out in the world when and if you want to.

[Jenniferathome]

You and your wife may be laughing because you are being a caricature of a woman and not just a person who is a woman. Take smaller steps, keep your elbows in, walk more softly, we're really not that different. Just watch your wife.

[katlee]

I find that it is half the fun to act. When I put on my eye makeup, I love to bat my eyes. When I put on my lipstick, I love to pucker and pout. When I put on heels and hose, I love to mince around. Dressing for me is a fun mental act, like I am another person

Cheers

Kat

[Emogene]

If you are interested in developing a "female" voice, print a copy of "Finding Your Female Voice, Volume One" which is available free on the Net. Once you have that you can download free software that will provided a piano keyboard so you can get the right key for your voice plus analyze your attempts visually so you have immediate feed back at the privacy of your computer. I downed loaded a free version of "Overtone analyzser"; fabulous software.

Very generous of the publishers of both for which I am very grateful.

The problem, of course, is being alone long enough, often enough, to effectively practice. Sigh!

In addition to Jenniferathome's suggestions, try also to toe in a bit as you walk. Men tend to walk with their toes out and ladies tend to walk with their toes more perpendicular to the plane of their body. Toes || instead of \ /.

Also relax your shoulders and let them move a bit, ladies are such a joy to watch because they are so smooth and loose in their movements. Graceful!

Saw a very interesting discussion on the Internet about the differences in the bio-mechanics between male and female anatomy that result in that oh so delicious stride we would so very much like to emmulate.

The Internet is so marvelous, all kinds of information available. I'm having a tremendously great time studying and trying to project the lady that I know is in here but untrained and uneducated.

[Maria S]

It seems to me that a lot of CDers trying to create the perfect woman get hooked up on trying to find a perfect female voice. They try books, videos, tapes, surgery, olive oil and many other things too many to mention.

But who is to say what is the perfect feminine voice? A lot of women have deep voices and a lot of men have higher voices. Sometimes when you hear a voice you cannot tell for sure whether it is male or female.

Personally I don't put on a voice. It would be like using a fake French accent for the rest of your CDing life. I may speak more gently and slower. I watch what I am saying, no swearing and no terminology that a man is more likely to use.

I do not want to spoil the moments of CDing clogging my brain with ensuring that my fake voice stays constant. If it doesn't it will be the biggest give away of all.

Maria

[Kate Simmons]

Honestly what helped me to walk and have the movements of a woman was learning to dance like one. I was taught to dance by gay gals. Now when in femme mode, it is just automatic. Believe it or not.:)

[Tora]

How many years of "manly" traits do we need to un-learn. It won't happen quickly.

[Stevie]

Don't think of it as much of an act. My movements have always been feminine. Talking is guy but i do have a soft voice. and never really put on make up to make the comparison. I think this feels natural because I didn't have much of a male figure to look up to growing up. Yea for single parents.

[reb.femme]

........This means that I not only look like a bloke in a dress but act like one as well.
This is in total contrast to how I feel when dressed en femme but when trying to act like a girl I feel stupid.
When dressed I feel at my most relaxed and comfortable. So I tend to walk around the house dressed like a girl but looking and acting like a man.

I feel your pain Andrea. Using a word like 'bloke' I'm assuming Brit here too?

My wife commented that I looked like a man when I picked something up, said I would have to practice, but she would find it difficult not to be amused if I tried my femme voice. In Bob mode, I've got a 'propa', 'h' dropping, southern accent doctored with a cheese grater. So rough to say the least.

Laura912 says, "When dressed, the movements, the walk, the facial expressions, and sometimes the voice sort of come naturally". Well, I did a little video of myself whilst away a couple of weeks back and noticed my facial expression in several clips when reviewing the footage. Very not me in 'Bob mode', in fact a complete opposite, but the dress I had on is my absolute favourite, so maybe I was inspired?

Rebecca

[Kalista Jameson]

I often use my video recorder to walk around the house in heels and flats as well as speak in a softer and higher register just to see what others see. I am a bit clumsy, but I remember to take smaller steps and rock my hips a bit, not in an exaggerating way, and think I got that part down fairly well. But the voice just ain't happenin'. For me my goal is not to be unreadable, since that will never happen or to even pass on any level. What I focus on instead is being classy, dignified and elegant by being clean, well groomed and wearing an infectious smile at all times. If someone were to say to me, "bro, I give you mad props. You are workin' the look.", I would be ecstatic. I'd just answer in my normal voice with a smile, "Thanks, man. Appreciate it."

~Kalista

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Andrea, When I'm dressed I always walk and carry my self like a lady.

[Tracii G]

I'm just me and tend to try not to act too girly in guy mode,very hard not to sometimes.

[Cheryl T]

Same for me as Laura912, I don't "Act", everything is just natural.
My wife and I were coming home from one of our Tri-Ess meetings and she made that comment..."you act very feminine". I just replied, "I'm not acting".

When I'm dressed, this is just me.

[Barbara Maria]

I live alone so I don't get feedback,but I find myself doing girly things more and more without thinking about it.When dressed,I find myself swinging my hips,pouting my lips,I even caught myself dancing the other night.I've never danced in my life.I've even unconciously cleaned up my language(a girl can't go around sounding like a tramp,now) I don't think it's an act at all. It's who we are and it just comes out. But as for my voice,FORGET ABOUT IT! It's beyond hope.

[Raychel]

No acting here, I walk like a man, talk like a man,
Just sometime I walk and talk in a dress.:brolleyes:

[Robbin_Sinclair]

.........but I remember to take smaller steps and rock my hips a bit, not in an exaggerating way, and think I got that part down fairly well. But the voice just ain't happenin'. For me my goal is not to be unreadable, since that will never happen or to even pass on any level. What I focus on instead is being classy, dignified and elegant by being clean, well groomed and wearing an infectious smile at all times....~Kalista

That's what I take away from the CD experience.

Doing community theater, I was one of the singing dancer waiters who were part of the opening scene in Cabaret. There were a bunch of us and one was a little tiny GG about 18. In the shadow of the lights behind the curtain before while speeches were being made, I looked at her shadow and mine doing our opening steps, which were supposed to be identical.

We could never look alike (although our costumes were) but we could move alike, if I worked on mine. More bending, more movement, less jerky, more gliding, graceful, more confident. The steps are smaller, elbows in. The previous contributors said it very well re body movement. Watching your shadow is a great help. Of course, if you're in GB, you don't have shadows, I know.

Think FEM. For me, think not being defensive. When I want to feel my new self, who is a little Robbin and a little the boy that I was, if in male garb, I usually have one little piece of clothing that sort of crosses to the other side. It may be a bracelet on the right side or certain shoes that fit as well as my favorite girly shoes. Or pantyhose, when I'm going to be on my feet a lot. That is a good better blood circulation remedy.

I'd say don't focus on your voice register as much as calm tones. Soothing. It makes me a better males and female. And, it really works in getting people to smile. My goal is to give a sincere smile and get one in return. It's amazing how that works.

Good luck. It doesn't come fast. Last December I did a post about my trip to Rachel's Hair and Wigs in Chicago. I learned so much from her. She says it takes well over a year to get it right. You gotta long time. Enjoy it.

[Ms. Laura]

I definitely act more feminine while dressed. It just feels right. I consider it practice for going out someday.

[susan54]

For me, it is ALL acting when I go out. I don't imagine for a second that I really AM a woman. If you can get the walk right the rest follows - things like rotating the wrists. I don't wear a wig or make up (except for some lipstick) at home but my walk is a sort of hybrid - I think the heels and the skirt/dress (NEVER trousers) push things in that direction. When out and about - elegance is the objective rather than femininity - the latter can look absurd if overdone - even a GG overdoing that can look silly. I find that when I leave out the make up (but keep the wig) when out and about, no one pays a blind bit of attention because the image and movements match from a distance.

I don't mind a bit if I get read, but I care that people think I dress and act well. In fact most of those I interact with (almost all women) I have known for years and they have always known I am a man, and they love my look and give me very encouraging feedback. One woman friend (who unfortunately lives rather a long way away) says I act so well as a woman she feels she can share things with me she would normally share only with another woman, which I take as a huge compliment.

I have to go out and do some shopping now, and either take off my jewellery, dress and bra and change into men's outer wear (keeping the rest of the underwear and tights) or I could keep the outfit and add make up and a wig and just head out. Decisions, decisions.

[Brooklyne dawn]

agree, same problem I have, when dressed i just feel and act different. Now if I had a softer voice.


I'm just me and tend to try not to act too girly in guy mode,very hard not to sometimes.

[Prissy Linda]

I'm effeminate no matter how i'm dressed, i've always been kinda girly.

[Beverley Sims]

Andrea, you don't have to act, try little things first and concentrate on them one at a time.
Eventually you will do some things naturally and then concentrate on something new.
Like learning to play the piano really.
It gets easier each day with practice.

[Robbin_Sinclair]

For me, it is ALL acting when I go out. I don't imagine for a second that I really AM a woman. If you can get the walk right the rest follows - things like rotating the wrists. I don't wear a wig or make up (except for some lipstick) at home but my walk is a sort of hybrid - I think the heels and the skirt/dress (NEVER trousers) push things in that direction. When out and about - elegance is the objective rather than femininity....... God, susan54 really nails it for me.

I love feeling that I can capture bygone elegance...from any era. My latest source go to feeling comes from that US PBS series Downton Abbey. Now that was elegance. I love the visuals and would like to be able to create them on a sewing machine. Now, that's elegance.

[carhill2mn]

I try my best to act like I think a lady would whenver I am en femme. Is this "acting"? Maybe. Since I am en femme more than not, I think it is just "acting" as I should.

[Stephanie47]

As an in-home cross dresser, dressing in privacy, the only time I communicate with the world is over the telephone. No sense in trying to alter my voice. It's too masculine anyway. However, I think I've been fairly good at adopting feminine movement while scurrying around the home. Having worn 3 1/2 inch heels for doing everything, I can easily negotiate the foot movements. Wearing a wig I know I push that stray hair away from my face as a GG does. I sit with my legs crossed at the knees, pulling my dress demurely down over my knees. I do not cross my legs at my ankles like a man would do. I find I do sit with hands folded. When I sit down I smooth the skirt of my dress with my hands.

I think it just a matter of time that the conscious effort to adopt the mannerisms of a woman turns into unconscious behavior.

[Julogden]

Try some voice training http://www.heartcorps.com/journeys/voice.htm I'm not advertising this program. You can learn by looking over the website without subscribing.
I bought the "Melanie Speaks" video that this program is based around about a zillion years ago. The method works, takes a lot of work and practice, of course. I used to practice in my car on the way home from work every day, worked at it for weeks with some success, achieved sort of a feminine version of my male voice that everyone said was passable, then one evening it all clicked in and I almost ran off the road as it was like there was suddenly someone else talking in a totally female voice. It actually kind of freaked me out, as it sounded so different from my male voice. I hesitated to use it when I was out dressed with friends because it sounded so different from the voice they knew, and I eventually couldn't get it back because I didn't use it enough, so I'll have to start from scratch if I want to recapture it.

Carol