Found my son with girl clothes

[Cam]

I thought that you all would like to hear about this.

I have two sons. Both were raised knowing that dad wears skirts and likes pretty underwear. It has never bothered them. At different ages, each of my sons has taken some of their sisters clothes. My older son swiped several pairs of his sisters panties. I discovered this when I went to his room one night to check on him and he had fallen asleep uncovered wearing panties. When he woke up the next morning, I took him to breakfast to talk to him about it. He admitted to taking the panties and enjoying the feelings he got wearing them. I asked him if he wanted to keep wearing panties and he said not all the time. I let him know that it was okay and took him out to buy his own panties (he picked them and asked for a silky nightie as well). About two years later when he was 15 I found his things in the trash and asked him about it. He told me he didn't feel like wearing them anymore and asked if that was okay. I let him know that it was okay for him to be himself whatever that meant. He is now married and expecting. He and his wife have asked that once the baby is born that I stick to kilts or very neutral type skirts around the child. I will of course respect their wishes.

My younger son did the same thing at about age 9 except that he also took a skirt a blouse and some satin pants along with panties. After finding his stash while putting away some of his clothes I asked him about it. He said he thought it would be okay since I did it. I of course said it was okay but that stealing from his sisters was wrong. I took him to the store like I did his brother but he chose whole outfits, shorts, skirts, blouses, panties, dresses, tights. He even asked if he could get his panties at VS like I did, thank God for the Pink collection. I only ever saw him dressed once. He was very passable with his long blonde hair, red lips and extra long eyelashes. I know that he gave all his girl clothes away to a girl down the street at about age 14. I was proud of him because the girls family is very poor and because of his generosity she received several years worth f god quality clothes she otherwise would have had (he ended up dating her when she was 15 and he was 17). I know that up until he went to college he at least still wore VS thongs when he wrestled because he "didn't want his stuff to show." This son is now a US Marine combat veteran. I don't know if he still dresses at all anymore but last time he was home I did find some frilly things in the laundry that weren't mine, could be his older sisters but I don't know that for sure. When we talked about his dressing last time he was home he admitted that he mostly dressed for the purpose of masturbation which is why he only let me see him dressed once.

Both my boys are normal, healthy, heterosexual men with a wife or girl friend. Both are fabulous cooks like their father. Both are fanatical about their appearance and both are men with slightly feminine features in the face. I am very proud of the acceptance I get from my boys as well as my daughters and wife. I wish that all of you had the same thing I do, it really does make a lot of difference when the people you love care enough to let us be who we are.

Is cross dressing/ having a strong feminine side hereditary or is it learned behavior? I don't have that answer but it feels good to know that the boys understand from personal experience why dad wears a skirts and panties.:battingeyelashes:

[Kalista Jameson]

My feeling is that they saw their dad do it at an early age, and sons emulate their fathers. When my sons realized that I often shaved my legs, they would too for a bit, but then realized that that was not their thing. I think crossdressing isn't something that is hereditary or can be switched on in someone who never had interest in it ever. It just occurs with people randomly, or seemingly so. Unless their were a social norm for it, I'd have a hard time believing that since grandpa was a crossdresser my dad or I might be one too. This all gets back to why we crossdress in the first place, which ends up being circular in argument.

I like pizza but hate mashed potatoes. I love nylons but dislike stockings and garters. I prefer cats to dogs. Why? Who knows, there is probably no significant answer. It just "is". I think its true about crossdressing. Why do we like it, other than the benefits we name? Who really knows? It gets too deep for me. =)

Anyway, I digress...

Cheers,

Kalista

[Jenni Yumiko]

I believe it's genetic and neither hereditary or learned behavior, like Kalista stated, your situation sounds more like it was father son emulation or a need for approval from father, perhaps both. Without really knowing all sides of the story we can't make that judgement.

[Beverley Sims]

When it is brought out into the open like this it is only clothes. Isnt it?

[Wildaboutheels]

Thanks for sharing your story. Hopefully people will take the time to READ it.

It makes a very strong case for Nature + Nurture which I think accounts for most all Human behavior, regardless of what percentage of folks think it "normal".

[Barbara Ella]

Isn't it wonderful that in a non threatening environment where there is no judgement, people can find out what they really are and gain a pleasant certainty in knowing for sure, rather than lurking in the shadows and never fully realizing, and carrying guilt for many years. You are a wonderful father.

Barbara

[Allison Chaynes]

I think it is a learned behavior but it could have a genetic component in some cases, like in Klinefelter's syndrome. I have two young sons too and I try to hide this side of me, but I've often wondered what it would do to them if I was ever seen by them while dressed.

[traci_k]

I too have often wondered if there's a genetic component. After I got much older, I realized dad always crossed his legs more like a woman than a man.And I wonder what he thought about with his girlie magazines. I doubt he ever CDed but I do think he may have had a feminine streak he didn't talk about. On the other hand I loe femme things, but my brother sseems more male. So who knows?
Hugs All,

[Tracii G]

You are a great Dad and you have great kids too.

[docrobbysherry]

Nice inspirational story, Cam!

I think hormones may have something to do with dressing. At least, in some cases. Like folks that start in their 50's! Me, among others.

[ReineD]

Wow, what a wonderful story, and a testament to your love for your boys!! All parents should be as objective as you!! :)

It's interesting that your oldest son chose to put it aside, and your younger son too (?). I wonder if they would have put it aside, had they not felt accepted. Things tend to take on epic proportions when they are forbidden. I've often wondered what might have been the fate of the bulk of our membership here, had the members also felt while growing up that they could dress whenever they wanted, without being paranoid over being found out.

Members often say it is society that makes crossdressers feel ashamed of who they are, and because of this the acceptance process is more a question of peeling the layers back until the crossdresser can give himself permission to be him/herself, presumably for the rest of his life. But when I read stories like yours I wonder if male socialization is solely an external influence, or if in each crossdresser's core there is also a strong, innate male identity independent from social influence, that also rebels against feminine presentation ... and if it is easier to reject the feminine urges if the crossdresser while growing up does not feel like the starving child, looking longingly with his face pressed to the window, at all the delectable sweets inside the bakery that are completely out of his reach.

[Rachel05]

For a boy who struggled with my dressing from a very early age, how nice to hear a story like this that shows the supporting side of how it can and should be, someone else said up above, it is only clothes and it is only clothes

My wife would happily slip on a shirt of mine to wander around in the house but if I wear a dress or nightgown, she would absolutely flip her lid

I think the way you handled it was and still is amazing, the boys found their own place in life and made their own decisions but you gave them the safe environment to do that

Nice to hear positives like this

[nwcross]

you sound like such an awesome dad! :D love the story.
i got in trouble when i was 15 and my dad found a pair of women's jeans.. but this story gives me hope for the world.

[Lisa Gerrie]

Thanks for sharing that. In a world where so many people believe things like "gay parents raise gay children", it's nice to hear a story about real children making their way in the real world. IMO crossdressing is no more genetic than stamp collecting; seeing another person enjoy it might prompt you to try it, but it doesn't "imprint" you.

[Diversity]

Hi Cam,
What a fantastic story. Thank you very much for sharing this with us. We need more GG's like you to help others understand us. Your family sounds wonderful and the balance you have achieved with each member is to be applauded.
Kind regards,
Di

[Deborah Kaye]

I love my father, but he worked multiple jobs all the time I was growing up and my perceived insight into his influence on me is somewhat limited. My mother on the other hand always worked in offices days, but was around during all off-hours. I only began to CD recently, but the very first incident that awakened my interest was trying on the wig she kept for bad hair days at the office. I tried it on several times when alone at home, but after she caught me (I placed it back on her wig form backwards) I dropped the whole idea. It took decades of time to pass before I bought my own wigs, then clothing and forms, too. Talk about delayed gratification! Perhaps it was the concept that my curiosity wasn't a good idea the very first time I gotten spoken to by Mom turned those questions into forbidden fruit that would be plucked later. Sounds like the OP handled the issue in a way that allowed her sons to experiment that went its logical course and ended because the inquiry was respected. In my case I might still have arrived now at the same place anyway, but then again maybe not.

[suzanne]

Wonderful story! That is most certainly parenting done right. You could give a clinic on how to lovingly support and raise a child whose choices fall outside the bounds of what the world calls 'normal'. By treating your sons' choices so matter of factly, you removed the taboo factor from cross dressing,and so reduced the likelihood of sexualizing or fetishizing their experience. Ultimately, they apparently opted not to continue, and their choice was once again "No big deal". I wish my parents had been as enlightened as you.