I think I've met the love of my life...

[jenny_cheerleader]

Hey ladies,
Well the subject speaks for itsself, so I have only one question for ya'll - when do I tell her about my love for boots and cheer uniforms. We have only been out on a few dates. But i think she could be the one. Please HELP!!!

[Sharon]

You tell her when you're sure she's the right one.

Oh -- congratulations and good luck! :)

[susiej]

Jenny,

The "cost" of outing yourself to your SO must look like a "U" shaped curve, if you'll forgive me going mathematical.

It's high when you've just met her, because you don't know her well enough to be assured she won't blab your story to everyone in the office or the club where you met her. And, you don't want to gab your intimate personal details to somebody you just met on the street -- this stuff is reserved for extra special people.

The pain -- and difficulty -- of disclosure goes down as you get acquainted, as each of you has invested emotional capital and time in the relationship. After you've been together for a few weeks or so, you figure she'll at least stop to think of your good points in deciding to stay with you or not.

Then, at some point, the cost starts to creep upward again, because of two factors: first, the pain you anticipate in losing her if she reacts badly, and second, the additional burden of "why didn't you tell me sooner?".

I submit that your gut will clearly tell you when the "why didn't you tell me sooner?" is kicking in -- that's the time to tell her.

Take it from me, and a *lot* of other girls here, you're at a fork in the road of life, and one of the choices is very dark and lonely. If you and she like each other, and you keep your CDing a secret, you could wake up some time in the year 2034 and discover you're like I am now. You'll be well into male menopause, having dressed your entire life, and not been able to share it with anybody. I heartily do not recommend this as a life style choice in the 21st century.

Hugs,
Susie

[swiss_susan]

But I would suggest not leaving it to long. Try and feel her out subtly at first to help break the ice.

I recently did it and it was great. :D :thumbsup:

Susan

[Tamara Croft]

Well congratulations Jenny, but don't leave it too long if you think shes the one and hey..... she might even know how you can hide your boots :D

[kathy gg]

Congrats! I would not wait too long, but don't tell to soon....loads of help ! I think feeling her out with general questions related to 'differetn' people is a start. Sometimes it helps to even see if she is open minded enough with others to be so with those close to her. IF you get green light signals, then proceed with caution.

If you do decide to tell, dont' make it some depressing dark thing. Make it sound like this cool unique thing (which it is!) and let her know your persoanl boundaries, give her info, like this message board, invest in printing some info thta pertains to your feelings, dont' over whelm her and let her go at her pace. We like it when we aren't feeling rushed or pushed.

keep us informed!

good luck!

[Holly]

Congratulations, Jenny. Like the others, knowing what I know now, I wouldn't wait too long. If she's THE one, it'll be okay.

[Lisa Maren]

Hi Jenny

My theory is that you should first make sure that you feel that she's a person who can be trusted with your secret. Let's face it -- if you can't get to the point where you feel you can trust her not to spread your secret around then she's not right for you. (Be especially cautious if you met as strangers like from a personal ad or something. If you were already friends, then that part is easier.) Once you've established that you feel you can trust her, then keep a sharp eye out for the time when you both begin to feel ready talking about your deep secrets. That's your cue to share with her!

If she pushes you to share before you feel you can trust her, that should probably be setting off your alarm bells.

Remember, yes, you should follow your heart, but for god sake make sure your brain is along for the ride! :) That's one of the most human mistakes people make with romance. (I've made that mistake myself, though thankfully not with revealing Lisa).

Good luck!

Hugs,
Lisa

[Sweet Susan]

If nothing else, you will truly find out if she is the one for you. Tell her. What have you got to lose?

[Abby Lauren]

Many of us have been through it at one time or another. It is best to share it when you feel she is very important to you. Of course, as was mentioned, that's also the hardest time to do it because you will then have something very precious that you could lose. Despite all that, do it. I don't think you'll regret it.

[jenny_cheerleader]

thanks all. keep it comimg if anyone else has any advice. I see her a week from today so all help is appreciated. (she lives in auburn and i am at college)

[JoannaDees]

Be cool, be mellow, be sweet. When you have both reached a rapport, I think then is the time. She'll know you, you'll know her. At least, that's my plan. That or go to Baltimore!

[Jesse69]

I think women will think you are odd. But I'm odd too - I love womens suits, some dresses, and some blouse and skirt outfits. I also have 2 cheerleader uniforms and two schoolgirl uniforms and a wedding dress.

How many cheerleader uniforms do you have? I got mine on ebay. Where did you get your's?

I think your boot fetish is odd, but everyone has a fetish.