How honest are we about passing

[Trysha]

I had a great talk today with a makeup artist who specializes in helping
cross dressers. He is of the opinion that appearing as a woman requires
a technical understanding of makeup as it applies to a man's skin, as well
as taping to give the face a more feminine form, and a little more makeup than
most woman require because of our skin. He thinks that many cross dressers are not really honest with themselves about wether they really pass is public, and
basically go around with a set of blinders on. I told him that I don't really care
what other people think as long as I dress appropriately, and move with confidence, and nobody want's to beat me up.
He being a cross dresser says he cannot stand the ridicule of others, or being read by insensitive people. Most woman don't wear alot of makeup every day, or dress
very feminine so as not to be bothered. So I guess we should dress in a casual, but feminine way and expect to be read, or in a more dolled up version with all the makeup tricks to really try to pass as a woman, but maybe drawing even more attention to ourselves because we look so feminine. Honesty does not have to take the thrill out of cross dressing.

[Lorileah]

Let's be honest very few CD's pass even with stage make up. I don't expect to be mistaken for a GG, that would be like trying to pass off an elephant for a mouse.

Taping, pulling tugging squishing padding an inch of make up and a dark room may help but few ever "pass"

[Wildaboutheels]

Some folks want or need to pass.

Others could care less.

Short of walking up and asking folks "did you recognise me as a guy dressed up as a woman" no one can KNOW [or should assume] they passed simply because no one said anything.

The TRUTH about passing is that very few "normal" people out in the RW care or are looking to bust CDers.

I also think your friend is incorrect. Skin is basically skin and obviously many here have the various facial features common to GGs that make it easier for them to "pass" or blend in as a female.

Since one CANNOT KNOW if they passed... isn't it rather silly to worry about it?

[arbon]

So I guess we should dress in a casual, but feminine way and expect to be read, or in a more dolled up version with all the makeup tricks to really try to pass as a woman, but maybe drawing even more attention to ourselves because we look so feminine. Honesty does not have to take the thrill out of cross dressing.

Being all dolled up with a bunch of makeup can give you away just as easily, not because you look more feminine but because most people don't typically go about their days wearing lots of makeup and they look more closely when somebody is. That does not mean don't wear it, you should if you like to, but it probably does not help as much as you think with passing.

[whowhatwhen]

Look at it this way, society expects so much of women that there are GGs that sometimes don't pass...
The deck is incredibly stacked.

Edit:
I'm referring to the superficial expectations of others, not whether or not women pass as women.

Example: "She has a bit of an Adam's apple, probably a guy"

[Being Paige]

I do not try to pass at all, If I had to be 100% passible I wouldn't set foot out of the house. I am just being myself dressed the way I want to be. I don't believe that I am ever satisfied by my looks but that doesn't, but am always trying to improve on my applying makeup. When I'm out, I am confident and have most always been treated with respect everwhere I have gone. That being said, there have been times where I have been laughed at or even called names but I do not let that stop me.

[Stephanie47]

I'm totally honest. I do not pass! That's one reason why I forgo makeup around the house as an in home cross dresser. It's a waste of time to try to convince myself that I may pass. I just don't get close to the mirrors. It's about how I feel, not how my face looks. Oh, the masculine body is a problem too!

[STACY B]

The best way to PASS ,,, Is to stay as far away from everyone else as you can ,, Go to places where you just float around an have little or no contact with people but you are around people . Stay out of peoples faces an just mind your bizzness !!

[Lady Catherine]

I know I don't pass. I agree with what most of you have said so far. With me, it is definately more how I feel.

[Sara Jessica]

Since one CANNOT KNOW if they passed... isn't it rather silly to worry about it?

A page torn from my book. Passing is so overrated because it is impossible to quantify unless you are that one-in-one-thousand who is able to pass amongst a gaggle of gg friends (and yes, I know one TG woman who can pull that off marvelously).

For the rest of us, all the effort in the world would never get us to that promised land so why worry so much about it???

[Melissa Rose]

Let's be honest very few CD's pass even with stage make up. I don't expect to be mistaken for a GG, that would be like trying to pass off an elephant for a mouse.
Taping, pulling tugging squishing padding an inch of make up and a dark room may help but few ever "pass"

I feel exactly the same way. A lot of wishful thinking, pink fog blinders, misinterpreting reactions (or lack of), and believing too much in what others are saying out of politeness or being supportive goes on. As long as it is not causing any harm or trouble, does it really matter?

The following may come come across as a bit harsh or unsupportive, but it is not meant in that way. One place where I see a lot of miscalibration occurring is in the picture section here. Someone posts a picture with the overt or implied desire to get feedback, and there is a chorus of "you totally pass" or "you look great" comments. While those saying it may being honest with their opinion or trying to be encouraging and supportive, but many times I have a hard time in totally agreeing. I admit of being critical and having high standards, but I was puzzled by the disconnect. When it came to me that perhaps a phrase was being dropped from the end of "You look great", it started to make more sense. This phrase is "for a cross dresser". Compared to other cross dressers, they may look great, but compared to GGs similarly attired and made up, they are obviously cross dressing men. Add in other body markers and gender cues, and the difference becomes even more pronounced when compared to GGs. If it was as easy as proper makeup, a wig, breast forms and clothing, most could forgo FFS, HRT and other procedures in order to fully blend in visually as a woman. Sometimes in the process of being encouraging and supportive (which is a good thing and should be done), sometimes the truth gets a bit distorted.

Unless blessed or cursed with feminine physical features, makeup tends not to make a typical male look like a woman regardless how expertly applied. It will make a male look less masculine, so it depends on the starting point as to how successful it is. There is only so much masculine facial soft tissue and bone structure and beard shadow that can be disguised or hidden with makeup especially in person (versus in pictures with controlled lighting).

As other have already stated, it is up to each person how important it is to pass. Whether you pass or not, all that really matters is how you deal with it. There is no right or wrong way. I totally understand the desire to want to pass, and I am no different in that regard. I know I get read - while I do not like it, I do not let it stop me. Most importantly, do not let my opinion or anyone else's take away your joy and stop you. Pass or not, if it feels right and good to you, embrace it.

[AllieSF]

I think there are a lot of background experiences, feelings and ideas in what your makeup artist told you. If I understood correctly he is also a CD and is also, like the vast majority of CD's, sensitive to being read when out in the real world. Also, his full or part time business is doing makeup. So, since he is sensitive about getting read, properly done makeup can help a lot, and I do not mean the caked on variety, to help reduce the number of people that may read him and, therefore, might upset him by knowing that they read him. Since it is also part of his income he has an economic interest in convincing others to use his services, intentionally or not.

In my case and that a lot of others' here who go out all the time, I believe that our focus is to get our outfit, accessories and makeup as best as we can, without overdoing it in level of effort as well as the amount of makeup that we use, so that we can hopefully get out of the house as quickly as possible to be able to enjoy the finished transformed product, us as women, as long as possible. Once I walk out of my house, the last thing I worry about is my makeup, except for maybe my lipstick, which I like to maintain throughout the time out. I also do not worry about what others think, as long as I am satisfied, I am good to go. Because of this attitude or approach to my activities as a CD, it is easier for me to accept what I have done, instead of continually worrying about it and letting it become the focus of my evening.

I would guess that I could probably do a better job with my makeup. I also believe that what I do is not that bad either. It has so far been perfect for me, it is quick and does not in any way interfere with my ability to enjoy the evening out, even getting me some nice compliments many times while out. That fits my needs better than I could ever have hoped for when I first started all this.

Do we really pass? As others have said, maybe a very small percent of us do. Do we blend? Here I think that a much larger percent, still in the overall minority, do, at least up until we open our mouths to utter a few words or until others get a closer look at our details. Passing for me would be the dream, blending is my goal, which I think I reach most of the time.

[kellycan27]

Look at it this way, society expects so much of women that there are GGs that sometimes don't pass...
The deck is incredibly stacked.

Lets get real here. I am sure that there are plenty of women out there who may not be happy with certain aspects like body, looks, hair etc but you'd be pretty hard pressed to find those who worry about "not passing" as a woman. Women don't have to pass... They are women.

[Angela Campbell]

I know several "ladies" that pass quite well. If no one told you it would take getting them undressed to know. In most cases it comes down to genetics. Some are very lucky and some are not. I also know some who will never pass no matter what they do. I would settle for others just not knowing for sure. If they wonder but cannot say it is obvious I would be happy. On a good day I blend pretty well.


Oh, and I have known a few GG's that would make you wonder if they are a man or not.

[whowhatwhen]

Lets get real here. I am sure that there are plenty of women out there who may not be happy with certain aspects like body, looks, hair etc but you'd be pretty hard pressed to find those who worry about "not passing" as a woman. Women don't have to pass... They are women.

I meant the superficial expectations of society/others more or less, any flaw and it's "she must be a guy".

Edit:
My wording was atrocious on that I guess.

vvvv
Drat!
I didn't mean it that way!

*sobs uncontrollably*

[Anne2345]

Lets get real here. I am sure that there are plenty of women out there who may not be happy with certain aspects like body, looks, hair etc but you'd be pretty hard pressed to find those who worry about "not passing" as a woman. Women don't have to pass... They are women.

:clap:

Very well stated, Kelly!

And absolutely true . . . .

[whowhatwhen]

I edited my post but I was really referring to the shallow opinions of others, not a GG's perception of herself.

[melissakozak]

Passing is also about blending in and confidence....and confidence takes time. It also helps to dress down if going out....which I love to do....

[Rachael_TX]

I quit caring about passing. I've worn a dress with a beard into a TGIFridays and sat at the bar and ordered a meal. Nobody treated me with any care. A few odd stares on the way out. I just start incorporating more feminine items into my male wardrobe. Whether it be a pair of boots or sandals or a scarf a bracelet ot a lacey top. But yet thinking of running into people I might know scares the bejebus out of me.

[Leah Lynn]

When I go out I do pass- I have a lead foot and a fast car. Oh, that OTHER kind of passing! Not a snowball's chance in hades. But I still go out often. I try to emulate females but know I can't pass as one. However, as soon as I win the lottery, FFS, HRT, SRS, and any other letter combinations that come up.

Leah

[NathalieX66]

I go out in public. I do enjoy wearing dresses too! I have a rule, it goes like this: IJDGAF..........you figure it out.

[Fran Moore]

I go out in public. I do enjoy wearing dresses too! I have a rule, it goes like this: IJDGAF..........you figure it out.

I figured it out pretty fast Nathalie, and I couldn't agree with you more! If people don't like it they'll just have to GOI.

[Miriam-J]

I don't worry too much about passing. But I try to dress and make up well enough to build up significant doubt that I'm definitely a guy.

Just sit back and watch folks walk by sometime. There are a lot of GGs that might draw as much doubt as me in gal mode, and no one in their right mind is going to call them out. That low bar is all I need to beat.

Miriam

[whowhatwhen]

I have a rule, it goes like this: IJDGAF..........you figure it out.

I just don't go and fart either, nowadays it's just too risky...

[Beverley Sims]

I use as little makeup as possible in daily life and I think I get away with it more than when I am "dolled" up.
More makeup is like a coat of plaster that I do not want to crack.

[kimdl93]

I know my limitations quite well. But I go out, not with the goal of passing, but blending in. If I can spend a few hours out shopping and not raise too many eyebrows, I consider it a good day.

[I Am Paula]

I feel that I've done a good job when:
As I walk into a store the SA sees a woman.
As I browse, but have not interacted, they begin to feel like 'all is not as it seems'
We talk, and he/she realizes I'm a guy. She sees a well presented male in drag who is friendly, polite, well spoken, and presents a possitive image about the gender gifted.
Passing? Not a chance. Passing grade? Everytime.-Celeste

[cdmcconnell84]

"Passing" can have such a range of meanings for different gurls, I think. The distinction everyone is making here between "passing" and "blending" is a good example. If you only hope not to raise many eyebrows or get too many double takes at the restaurant, a decent percent might be able to pull that off as people stroll by and never really look you in the eye.

If, on the other hand, you want to be able to have a conversation with someone and leave them not quite certain of your birth gender... well, there's very few gurls who can pull that off, and of course even fewer who can have a conversation and never cause the person they're speaking to to even wonder about their gender!

I would love just to leave folks unsure, but my gf is a pretty harsh critic and let's me know that I am not there yet whenever I dress. Of course, our loved ones can sometimes be too critical because they have an ingrained and contrasting image in their minds like no one else....

[Nikki50/50]

The media division of public advertising is what sets the standard for what women are 'expected' to look like. And this model is beaten into the female psyche relentlessly. For us as CDs, this same model is our default standard to serve as a template for us to match. We superimpose our self-expectations over this template, and add/subtract as needed to fill out the mold.
How honest are we about passing?
What does it matter? If we can fill out the mold of our own expectations and pass according to our own judgement, then nothing else should matter.

[sometimes_miss]

I had a great talk today with a makeup artist who specializes in helping
cross dressers. <snip> He thinks that many cross dressers are not really honest with themselves about wether they really pass is public, and
basically go around with a set of blinders on. I told him that I don't really care.<snip>
And that pretty much is the opinion of most crossdressers that believe that they can pass. Being honest with ourselves isn't really what we're all about as crossdressers. Most of what we want is the illusion of being something other than what we really are.

[Badtranny]

I would love just to leave folks unsure, but my gf is a pretty harsh critic and let's me know that I am not there yet whenever I dress. Of course, our loved ones can sometimes be too critical because they have an ingrained and contrasting image in their minds like no one else....

Trust me, that harsh critic is your best friend. I feel like I went through boot camp (CFM boots of course) with my beautiful Easter European roomie who was living here through my cross-dressing and the first year of my transition. Damn Bulgarians don't have a polite filter but I'll tell you one thing, I sure as heck know what's natural looking and what's not ...now. Most of the girls here could use a friend like that. Consider yourself lucky. ;-)

[Eryn]

There's and old saying "Give a man a hammer and all his problems start to look like nails." In this case, a makeup artist will naturally concentrate on achieving a perfect illusion through makeup.

Makeup is but one component of a good presentation. Other components include speech, mannerisms, walk, facial expressions, posture, etc. These all add up to a presentation which is feminine or masculine. Nobody, GGs included, do all of these perfectly. However, if you get most of them right you will be perceived as female by most observers. Invite more scrutiny by engaging strangers more closely and you raise the bar for yourself. How much interaction you do depends upon your comfort level and your tolerance for being read.

When I first started going out I didn't want to interact with anyone and my furtiveness really hurt my presentation. As I got more experience I realize that being read wasn't the worst thing in the world and this gave me more confidence to mingle and engage with others. Ironically, this closer engagement, done with confidence, resulted in me being read less often.

I was out this evening at a Souplantation restaurant and I repeatedly walked back and forth through the crowded restaurant to graze the soups and salads. I got a few looks, but no more than any really tall woman would get. I interacted with the woman at the cash register as I showed her a discount coupon on my smartphone. My voice was probably less than perfect, but my nicely-polished blue fingernails holding a pink-cased smartphone among a myriad of other feminine cues probably swayed her mind to think "female with low voice" rather than "crossdresser."

[Caroline-Grant]

I never think I pass. Other people say that I can pass but I rarely take their affirmations at face value. Truth be told if someone offered to teach me how to use makeup well enough to pass I would take them up on the spot. Learning by yourself is difficult and time consuming. Beyond that passing is a bit like speaking in different voices you can't hear it from an objective point of view because your ear is designed to hear from your frequency so you have to have others help.

[Amanda_Robinson]

I go out in public. I do enjoy wearing dresses too! I have a rule, it goes like this: IJDGAF..........you figure it out.
That is how I feel about it. Nathalie hits the nail right on the head. It took me a little while to arrive at this though.
~Amanda

[noeleena]

Hi,

Im not going to disagree with the intent of this guy, for many yes they dont or need to pass & thats not a problem.

as you know im not a dresser, or trans,& as he's not met me he'll never know what its like being different, & like many women the dont use makeup , & even some young women apply so much that it detracts the beauty they have, & they look so nice ,
i know some of these young women . so are they trying to pass with all that makeup. dought it,

i dont wear makeup im not trying to look like a female i am one just because my facial features are not like other women = female, i dont & never will pass as a good looking woman so what, i dont need to,

To me it defeats all reason that i should ...need ... to wear makeup to pass as a woman, one i am a woman & two im accepted as a woman who's normal,

Maybe in all this what i see is if those like myself cant be accepted then acting out useing makeup doing every thing like a woman to the point of your going insane to try & do this whats the point, are you going to have a life have some fun or be so dam miserble your life is worse, & you cant even go out the door for fear of ,,,,you look like a male,

Makeup or acceptance i dont need makeup to gain acceptance, & nore do my many women friends,

...noeleena...

[Karen_K]

I think I might pass to people who see me in my car, from another car. Or from behind. Or from about 30 feet away. But up close and with any interaction at all, I don't expect to. That's fine with me. I'm not as interested in pretending to be a woman as I am about going out in the clothes I like, looking nice I hope, and being accepted that way.

[AshleeM]

For my case, I think my face passes pretty well but the rest of my body gives it away. I'm 6 foot tall and have broad shoulders so you can spot me from a mile away. I'd rather not be a spectacle so I do my best to fit in though.

I've come to realize, as others have said, I'm not trying to actually fool anyone. I just want to wear a dress, paint my nails, and make my self feel pretty.

[Lisa Gerrie]

How honest are we about passing?

Based on the responses so far, the answer is that most of us are pretty honest with ourselves.

[Deborah Kaye]

I agree with MelissaKozak--I received my first "hello Ma'am just the other day on the first day I dressed down to fit in with anyone else out doing errands. The only visible items en fem I had on were my wig, shoes on the outside and bra with breast forms underneath, which of course enhanced my bust line. I can't say whether I actually passed, perhaps not, but at least the initial impression was "woman" to the female cashier at the supermarket. Of course it helped to be 15 miles from home at a store I had never been in before, LOL!

[stephNE]

I think that there are degrees of passing. I don't ever expect anyone to see me and think that I am a beauty. But if I was to overhear someone say "That sure is an ugly woman", it would make me quite happy. I have certainly had a few incidents where someone gave me the gas face, or made a comment, but when I dress to blend in most times I can slip out to a shoping center, and home whout any one noticing.
Gas face: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QYp28tEAVvs

[Maria S]

I believe that I pass as a woman and have no reason not to do so. I get no negative looks, stares and losing of underwear only compliments on how I look. If I were that way inclined I could have a boyfriend as I have had men trying to chat me up in the past. I work hard to continue my passing look and will continue to do so until the day I die.

Sorry if this seems big headed.

Maria

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Trysha, There's a lot more to passing than just wearing a dress and a wig,

[Michelle (Oz)]

Yep - don't pass - but that doesn't stop me trying to perfect the big 'cues' that Eryn covered. This is more about the challenge for perfection than the need to pass to go out though. Call it blending.

My male voice requires an honesty of being 'a man in a dress' with people that I meet. I have never had a bad reaction and enjoy the friendly interaction. Not passing is liberating and empowering.

I did have an interesting experience two weeks ago that gave me confidence when arriving in my home city after flying pretty. A work colleague of some 15 years got into the lift next to me. Didn't recognise me. While I don't pass my disguise must be OK.

[genevie]

I just remembered back in the 70's any guy with long hair got looks of wonder. They would say, "Is that a girl?" So if I keep pushing the litle cues with clothes and longer hair and other stuff, would someone glance and think girl? Baby steps to get there without makeup and all the stuff to go over the top. I think I've hit on something. Pass with direct examination? NO. Pass with a glance. Maybe. Maybe that's the best goal to have?

[Lacyfem]

Honest enough to say I don't need to go out and be ridiculed by those that chose to be cruel. That's not fun as my fem feeling when dressed is inside and I do try to look as good as possible makeup and all. Make is critical and I really don't to that well but must say many women don't do it well either. Also, I've seen a lot of women out there where I've had to do a double take as many could pass for men. But no I don't think I'm passable.

[Frederika]

I have a rather male physical appearance. So I pass by far or from the back. Twice, behind me, guys aboard a car whistled for me and made sucking noise the way we do with a cat. Once, while I went out of my vehicle, a worker called me by insisting (I did not understand at once that he addressed me): " Madam, Madam, Madam! " to ask me to move it because it hampered a truck which had to repair a lamppost. But several times some chaps exclaimed: " But you are not a girl, you are a guy! " Here, where I live, in the Indian Ocean, I also got the reactions of guys who seemed really offended as if the sky was falling on their head.
And one day an attractive blonde transsexual spotted me in my car which was parked along a pavement. She retraced her steps to encourage me and say to me: "God bless you! God bless you!" She summarized me her life in a few words: SRS then married to a Swiss man. She seemed very happy to have met me.

[Jenniferathome]

In my case and that a lot of others' here who go out all the time, I believe that our focus is to get our outfit, accessories and makeup as best as we can, without overdoing it in level of effort as well as the amount of makeup that we use, so that we can hopefully get out of the house as quickly as possible to be able to enjoy the finished transformed product, ...I also do not worry about what others think, as long as I am satisfied, I am good to go. Because of this attitude or approach to my activities as a CD, it is easier for me to accept what I have done, instead of continually worrying about it and letting it become the focus of my evening.

Do we blend? Here I think that a much larger percent, still in the overall minority, do, at least up until we open our mouths to utter a few words or until others get a closer look at our details. Passing for me would be the dream, blending is my goal, which I think I reach most of the time.

Allie is the Yoda of cross dressing, I am convinced. I think this captures my feelings well, except that I still care too much about what others may think. Need to get over that hump.

[Samantha B L]

I go out a lot and really,most people ain't that observant. If you're duded up like a woman,then chances are people will logically assume that's what you are. Most folks would never guess there's a TG/TS/CD culture out there. They're not hostile. They just never think about it.



Samantha

[Stevie]

I know that my man features are a dead give away when I dress. That's one of the reasons why I don't go out in public. Part of me would want to but lots of me would rather keep it to myself. I do know when walking within a crowd I personally can pick someone out and tell you about them in a matter of seconds. If I could tell about people then why can't anyone else.

[Badtranny]

Allie is the Yoda of cross dressing,.

Oh no, this is TOO funny. She is in for it now, this is her new nickname forEVER. ;-)

[Shananigans]

Well, clothing has a lot to do with things at first glance. I think dressing in the general attire as those around you helps you blend alright. I passed as a dude recently lol...my voice gave me away.

I was at Moe's (Tex Mex) place that you kind of go through a line and pick out your food (like at Subway). Well, there were like a million people there...I was wearing khakis and a Polo that were super baggy...it's a "casual" nursing uniform...I hate it with a passion...I lost weight and it doesn't fit anymore, but I just refuse to spend money on another uniform. (It's a "special" khaki and a "special" Polo that you can only get through our sadist school for no less than an arm and a leg). My hair was also pulled back into a bun. Super hot...let me tell you what.

So, anyway, the girl was all quickly looking around and pushing the previous order forward (of the dude in front of me...who actually was wearing an eerily similar outfit). And, as she was pushing the order along she said, "Welcome to Moe's, what can I get you, sir?"

I couldn't really help myself so I tried my fake "man voice" and said, "I'll take a junior home wrecker." (My man voice is more of a growl...where I don't breathe through my nose...I kind of have to touch my chin to my neck as I do it too...it's as awesome as you can imagine). And, the girl looks up at me kind of stunned and apologetic, "Oh my Gosh! I am so sorry, ma'am."

She said it with a surprising level of sincerity...like I had just told her my cat died, or something.

And, I kind of waived my hand like it was no big deal. She asked me what I wanted in my burrito and then passed it along the line. As I moved to the next person that would be working on my burrito, I kind if barked back at the girl in my man voice, "Thank you."

The odd thing is that this isn't the first time I've been mistaken for a man in my uniform.

I only wish that I had a good man voice...I'd probably have a pretty interesting day walking around town as a dude.

But, I agree...I'd want to not just be treated as a dude for my effort (or, my school's effort)...I'd only really have fun crossdressing if I were taken seriously. But, that's me...and, I usually only CD when I'm wearing my uniform...which, is actually just a unisex nightmare of an outfit.

Crossdressing and seriously passing beyond a quick glance is hard though! I informed my SO that if I were a dude, I'd have a face like Gerard Butler, a personality like Mathew McConnaheywhatever, and a body like Channing I Have a Stupid Name Tatum (and, I'd dance like him too, obviously). My SO was skeptical...so, I gave my best guy impression. My impression included my man voice and me attempting to walk like a dude/have a dude expression. Basically, I looked like I had lost neural control of half my face and like I had a slight limp. We laughed, I tried again...failed to pass.

I don't think I was THAT bad...I mean, the chick at Moe's thought I was passing without even trying...I would have been golden if I could just be mute. I couldn't even walk 2 steps and pass for my "professionally" CD boyfriend. (I don't know why the " " either).

It seemed easier to pass when I wasn't trying so hard. What that says about my life, I'm not so sure. Lol

[Tracii G]

That is so funny Shan I would have loved to see all that go down!!
Its funny to get read like that and to see the reaction of the person who made the boo boo.
I had a guy behind me in line at the gas station.I was in my sort of guy mode and he said Ma'am do you have change for a one dollar bill?
I said sure reached in my pocket and gave him 4 quarters.
He said Oh man I'm sorry dude I called you a girl.
I smiled and said thanks honey. :battingeyelashes: no problem I get that a lot.

[Shananigans]

That is so funny Shan I would have loved to see all that go down!!
Its funny to get read like that and to see the reaction of the person who made the boo boo.
I had a guy behind me in line at the gas station.I was in my sort of guy mode and he said Ma'am do you have change for a one dollar bill?
I said sure reached in my pocket and gave him 4 quarters.
He said Oh man I'm sorry dude I called you a girl.
I smiled and said thanks honey. :battingeyelashes: no problem I get that a lot.

Hah! That took some major girl cajones, if you don't mind me saying ;)

But, also, your post supports my hypothesis that I can use the words man, dude, and (hopefully) bro at nauseum if I were to successfully be a man...my SO explains that there is a limit and style to it...but, I'm pretty sure he's just giving me lip for critiquing him en femme.

I mean, I know that the general trope is that "women have it easy for trying to CD"...but, seriously, out of respect for men everywhere, I have to say that it's just not as easy as throwing on some trousers, limping around, and growling at people. And, apparently, this is my interpretation of the male gender...which, also makes me look critically at my own perception of things lol...it's just kind of wrong. So, basically, I think the same is very true for MTF CDing...it's much harder than just throwing on a skirt and gobs of makeup. Everyone knows this, so most people adapt a whole new set of behaviors to "pass." But, sometimes, "acting the part" can make you feel like a damn fool... We have these notions of how it would be to completely act like this whole other gender/world. However, my SO had the astute observation that if I were male, I'd probably be mostly the same as I am right now...and, I'd look like a skinny, white dude...not Channing Tatum. So, just from my observations of friends here, from observations of my SO, and an honest attempt at my best male impression...it seems like over exaggerating the other gender gives you away time after time.

[I Am Paula]

We look in a mirror and ask ourselves if we pass. We ask our SOs if we pass. Both you and your SO know that you're a guy in a dress. Your two worst critics.
The average person in line at the supermarket, or window shopping at the mall does NOT know you. They are wondering if their daughter is gay, if they should buy gas on the way home, and if the pot roast will be tender. The overly tall woman who walked by is not much of a concern. In the 1/100 of a second thought she gave you, you walked like a duck-you must be a duck. You also passed perfectly. She did not notice the tiny bit of stubble, or your slightly oversize hands. She needs to buy a biege blouse, or a box of kitty litter. If you're not actively supplying that, she really doesn't care about you.

[Tracii G]

I have some transmen friends and I have to correct them sometimes.LOL
I love them to death but they can be soo funny.
We were at a Subway having lunch and Tyler (yes I know goofy boy name)and he said hey bro' whats up with the soggy bread?
I laughed and said dude please you are whining like a girl.
He gave me a very hurt look and I said guys don't care its just bread dammit.Now man up and eat it.
His response was priceless "Guys are wusses I want fresh bread".