Hooooooly crap, a new level of "coming out".

[Nicole Erin]

Well, I was kind of trying that online dating thing...
I had one guy who it looks like it might turn to something, maybe...
Yes he knows full well I am TS. Not the details of my "privates" but knows I am TS. I was very clear about this.
Anyways, I had a new voice mail. I thought "Damn, I just talked to that guy, I told him we would be in touch soon" I think he is afraid i won't like him.

"Please enter your password" beep beep beep beep "You have one unheard message"So then I listen, expecting this guy to be leaving a message.

I hear, "Hello Josh..." and I am thinking "what smart ass called and used my old name? (Josh wasn't my male name, just for props)

Then I hear it - "...This is Eydie. I don't know if I called too late but i will try again later."
If you remember about a year ago, I was talking about trying to re-connect with a teacher i knew and was friends with many years ago. Well about two weeks ago, I wrote a letter, put it in her mailbox, and left my contact info (cell phone number too). I wasn't expecting anything. I almost dropped my phone.

All my friends and co-workers know me as Erin. My family knows but still calls me the male name (whatever...) hearing my male name is weird enough. Erin causes my knee-jerk response these days.

Great, so here i am, no longer "Josh". How do I handle THIS one?

"So what have you been doing since the time you were a runt in elementary school?" "Oh ya know, became a woman...." Nope...

My life is just getting weird lately.
What to do?

[Shameonu]

I'm not sure I followed your story correctly (it's late) but the way I am I'm reading it is that you wrote Eydie and left her contact information signing the letter "Josh," and she has now left a message for you using that name. I keep re-reading what you wrote and I don't understand why you are surprised. Why come? Huh? Huh?

Anyhoo, you haven't had contact with Eydie since elementary school, so no matter how much she once meant to you she really hasn't actually meant that much for some time now (I can't access profiles to see your age, but I'm guessing you graduated grade school more than a fortnight or two ago.)

Am I correct in my interpretation? Eydie once, some time ago, meant something to you but you haven't had contact since? Fess up and be honest about yourself and your name! You haven't anything to lose if she reacts poorly and doesn't respond. Meanwhile, you don't need to pretend being Josh and feeling bad and icky about doing so.

Now then, what about the guy you began your post about? Cute? Successful? Nice? All three I hope. To be honest, he sounds much more pertinent to your life in 2013 than Eydie.

Good luck!

[Rogina B]

"Hi,this is Erin,or Brenda or Nicole or?" and you used to know me as "Josh,or Nosh or?",I have been thinking of you and....." How is that for a plan?? And how come you have another name you want me to call you..huh? lol

[Jessinthesprings]

If you were unprepaired to tell him about Erin why did you contact him? If I was you I would look at it this way. Do you plan to stay in touch? If so I would say Erin needs to come out at the beginning. No sense in wasting anyone's time if he cannot accept it. If you do not plan on staying in touch then catch up as "Josh" and move on. I see no sense in comeing out to those whom I do not plan to take along in my journey.

[EnglishRose]

"So what have you been doing since the time you were a runt in elementary school?" "Oh ya know, became a woman...." Nope...

Why not? It's kind of an important thing in your life...

[Beverley Sims]

You are on your way outing yourself in steps.
I have said a casual acquaintance, someone not connected to my family is easier to come out to than immediate family and friends.
Does she know the rest of your family personally and likely to tell?
Assuming not I would do as you say, "I have become a woman thread would be in order.
It would shoot her between the eyes and you would have a wonderful dialogue.
I would be disappointed if this did not turn out this way.
I am judging on an instance I was party with about five years ago.
I know I was interested seeing the story and resultant relationship unfold.

[Nicole Erin]

She does not know any of my acquaintances etc. But as i am "out" out, not like I am hiding anything.
Just have not known her for umpteen years. She actually tried to call again.
This is pitiful but it is like I am nervous about talking to her at all. Nervousness doesn't normally stop me from doing anything.

[StephanieC]

If I was in this situation, I'm not sure I would highlight any transition. I am who I am, regardless of how I look on the outside. I would not necessarily lead off a conversations with "I'm a lesbian" or "obsessive/compulsive", etc. Intimate friends might be different. I understand how, for us, this might be radical, but looking back in 10-15 years, will it have the same relevance?

I dunno, I wouldn't lead with that. I think when we reach a certain point, we need to continue forward. People pop in and out of our lives, I'm not sure it makes sense to bring them up to speed on details.

-stephani

[docrobbysherry]

Erin, you're so gutsy, I hate to see u making a mountain out of a mole hill!

Call her. Chat about what each of u has done with your lives. So simple! Your job, her job. You're unmarried and unattached at the moment. She's---- whatever she is. Chat about the folks u both know or went to school with, etc., etc. She won't see u and if u can just get your mind off Erin for 20 minutes u can connect, sign off, and agree to check in again in --- years!

Unless u have this overwhelming NEED to tell her about Erin? Then, do it rite off. But, if the conversation drags after that, don't be surprised!

[Aprilrain]

If Nicole Erin talks to this person how is she going to NOT tell her about Nicole Erin? Won't the person kinda wonder why "Josh" doesn't sound like "Josh" any more? I recently had a guy I used to be friends with call and when I answered the phone he asked for "Adam" (not my old name BTW). If I wanted to have a conversation with this guy I was going to have to tell him about April otherwise he was going to wonder why a girl was claiming to be "Adam".

Nicole Erin You got this it ain't no thing, just tell her

[Beverley Sims]

Nicole, she is only someone out of your past that may find you interesting.
She probably has had contact with a myriad of other pupils in her time. Yours would be just another event in her life, no big deal.
As April has also suggested, just tell her.