suzanne
03-09-2013, 05:54 PM
Let me say first that I, unlike many in this forum, am not passable and never will be. I am over 6 ft tall and nearly 300 lbs. Any attempt I could make at passing will look like a grotesque caricature of a woman. My approach, then, is to assemble a feminine wardrobe that looks natural on my body, camouflaging my beer gut(which I am working to reduce), longish torso and lack of a bust line. Not so easy in the size 22 range. In the last couple of months, I have gotten some excellent advice from various sales ladies and assembled a good collection of femme clothes, and even shoes in my size (thank you, Pay Less!). I finally feel I can put together a complete outfit I can wear in public.
So last evening, I asked my 24 year old daughter to go clothes shopping with me. She recently found out accidentally about my CDing and admits she is still struggling with it. But she's a gamer. When she arrived at the house, I had on a pair of black slacks over my tights, a short sleeve top covered with a long black cardigan and my pearl necklace. I guess you could say the outfit was on the feminine side of "androgynous". The only debate left to settle was the shoes. I have a pairs of pumps and a pair of ankle boots, each with 3" heels. I balked, thinking King Kong doesn't need to be even taller. But my drab sneakers destroyed the look I put together, so I tried it with the boots. My daughter said "What the (heck). Do it." So off we went.
We drove to a strip mall 20 minutes down the highway to the plus size women's store, with the objective of finding tops to go with the cardigan. They had tons and we picked out maybe a dozen, pretty much anything in my size. The SA's were their usual helpful selves, since we had the store completely to ourselves. My daughter handed the first armload to an SA, asking to start a fitting room for us. There was no doubt who it was for, as my daughter is a size 8 and the smallest thing I saw there was size 14! I went in and started trying things on, quickly narrowing them down to three. I could have gone home with as many as five, but three was my preset limit.
Time to check out. My daughter had me put on top she liked best to wear out of the store and we asked about where we could get a steak. As it turns out there was a Keg just across the highway. Off we went. The restaurant was busy - who would have guessed a steakhouse would be busy at 8:00 on a Friday night? - so we were seated at the bar. I felt a bit like some of the guests were taking long sideways looks at me, but as my daughter said "F(orget) them", and the wait staff was perfect. I was obviously "No big deal" to them. We soon got a table, thoroughly enjoyed our meals, and drove home after tipping generously. We made a deal to do something like this again, maybe downtown where CDers are even less of a big issue.
So now I finally feel I am doing something to help make it easier for CDers to come out of the closet and go out in public. I see elsewhere here the debate about why we are less accepted than gays. It is true that gays have been fighting their fight longer, but that is only part of the story. A gay man looks like any other man. A lesbian looks like any other woman. Many CDs in this forum pass so well no one notices, but a CD like me looks like neither and stands out much more.
So last evening, I asked my 24 year old daughter to go clothes shopping with me. She recently found out accidentally about my CDing and admits she is still struggling with it. But she's a gamer. When she arrived at the house, I had on a pair of black slacks over my tights, a short sleeve top covered with a long black cardigan and my pearl necklace. I guess you could say the outfit was on the feminine side of "androgynous". The only debate left to settle was the shoes. I have a pairs of pumps and a pair of ankle boots, each with 3" heels. I balked, thinking King Kong doesn't need to be even taller. But my drab sneakers destroyed the look I put together, so I tried it with the boots. My daughter said "What the (heck). Do it." So off we went.
We drove to a strip mall 20 minutes down the highway to the plus size women's store, with the objective of finding tops to go with the cardigan. They had tons and we picked out maybe a dozen, pretty much anything in my size. The SA's were their usual helpful selves, since we had the store completely to ourselves. My daughter handed the first armload to an SA, asking to start a fitting room for us. There was no doubt who it was for, as my daughter is a size 8 and the smallest thing I saw there was size 14! I went in and started trying things on, quickly narrowing them down to three. I could have gone home with as many as five, but three was my preset limit.
Time to check out. My daughter had me put on top she liked best to wear out of the store and we asked about where we could get a steak. As it turns out there was a Keg just across the highway. Off we went. The restaurant was busy - who would have guessed a steakhouse would be busy at 8:00 on a Friday night? - so we were seated at the bar. I felt a bit like some of the guests were taking long sideways looks at me, but as my daughter said "F(orget) them", and the wait staff was perfect. I was obviously "No big deal" to them. We soon got a table, thoroughly enjoyed our meals, and drove home after tipping generously. We made a deal to do something like this again, maybe downtown where CDers are even less of a big issue.
So now I finally feel I am doing something to help make it easier for CDers to come out of the closet and go out in public. I see elsewhere here the debate about why we are less accepted than gays. It is true that gays have been fighting their fight longer, but that is only part of the story. A gay man looks like any other man. A lesbian looks like any other woman. Many CDs in this forum pass so well no one notices, but a CD like me looks like neither and stands out much more.