Service-Oriented Crossdressing and Male Chastity

[Miss Mandy]

This past week, due to tension with my wife over my dressing, we have agreed to revert to a completely service oriented relationship while I am Ms. Jessica. After purchasing an actual housekeeping uniform from a supplier, I am allowed to become our female house keeper twice a week for 5 hours each session. Last night was my first session on duty and I worked diligently and thoroughly to make our home spotless. Moreover, I am now wearing a male chastity device most of the time and especially while I am serving as our housekeeper. My wife wants my dressing to be professional with regard to her and mostly non-sexual.

This agreement is likely the only way I can dress and preserve our marriage! What are your thoughts?

Ms. Jessica

[whowhatwhen]

Floats your boat, she gets a clean house, sounds like a win-win.
:P

[RonniCD]

The most important question is not what our thoughts are but what yours are. This arrangement might be fun for a week or two, and a whole bunch of us here might have had a fantasy or two along these lines but I'd never do it in real life. Its not me to let someone dominate my life.

Are you going to resent her dominance over you, or is that your thing? How would you feel about being reduced to her slave and sleeping in a dog bed a the foot of the bed, if she wants to take it that far? How about not having sex with her the way you used to, whatever that was. If you are down wiht it all the way, the clean away baby, and don't miss a spot!

Good luck Ms Jessica, whatever you choose.

[RADER]

I agree with Ronni; Doing that sounds like some fun, but could get rather boring if
it lasted for a long time.
My wife is Handicapped, so I Must do the housework, Thats OK, and I can do it dressed or not.
I do not run and get dressed just to put in a load of laundry.
However, If you and your wife are enjoying yourselves, Go for it.
Rader

[BobbieBrooks]

Depends on who has the key to the chastiy device, "most of the time" Although fun right now , the fun will soon wear off me thinks.

[whowhatwhen]

Get a duplicate key made.

"Front door key sir?"
"Nope, it's my **** lock!"

;)

[Jill Devine]

As everyone is saying:
1. Whatever floats your boat. Matters what YOU think.
2. Unless you love being dominated and controlled (point #1) then this arrangement isn't going to work long term.

For me it would be a big no no. I believe in and support equality - sounds like your wife is controlling you in a way no spouse should - regardless of gender. She isn't "understanding" you or really compromising IMHO. She's taking you for a fool. Just my opinion.

[Jenniferathome]

I've never understood how people can be together based on pain, humiliation or domination. That's not a relationship. You each fill some base need for the other, but that is not love. I'll never get it.

[Beverley Sims]

I say a bit of what ever floats your boat.
Your wife may get pleasure being a mistress.
You may get pleasure out of being submissive.

[freeindress]

BDSM lifestyle may float and rock your boat in the short term, but later sink or strand when the cruise is over.

[Stevie]

It's cool that you have a compromise and hope it works, but I have a lots of questions about this. Does your wife see your dressing as a fetish. Is this more than a fetish for you?

[andrea lace]

If your wife insists you start wearing a gimp mask and if she starts carrying a whip run.!!!!!!!!!!!!

[mmarmstrong]

I think the BDSM lifestyle - where one dominates and the other is submissive - works for a lot of couples, and works quite well when done to meet the needs of each party equally. I agree with Jill in that I support equality in the sense of equal happiness, which to the outside world may not fit everyone's definition of equality. If it works for the BOTH of you, awesome.

My thoughts on your situation, which really mean little because it's not my situation :) are if you like dressing and she will let you dress to clean the house for 5 hours...then sweet!

[Danielle Gee]

I say a bit of what ever floats your boat.
Your wife may get pleasure being a mistress.
You may get pleasure out of being submissive.

EXACTLY!!!! Beverly, you got it right

[whowhatwhen]

If your wife insists you start wearing a gimp mask and if she starts carrying a whip run.!!!!!!!!!!!!

No gimp shaming!
:P

Edit:
How can people breathe in those anyway?

[Stephanie47]

Since my wife is still working, I do a lot of the domestic engineering around the home-laundry, ironing, vacuuming, baking, meal preparation, some gardening, washing dishes all en femme a la June Cleaver. I would love to be able to do the same in her presence in heels and a dress. I know it's not going to happen. The idea of wearing a chastity device does not appeal to me, nor humiliation. Maybe your wife is trying to break you of cross dressing, but, it's really backfiring.

[Leah Lynn]

It may work for now, but sooner or later, you're going to realize that you're missing a huge part of the girl. Good luck.

Leah

[BLUE ORCHID]

Depends on who has the key to the chastiy device, "most of the time" Although fun right now , the fun will soon wear off me thinks.

Hi Bobbie, That was my very first thought, Who keeps the KEY ??

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Jessica, Sounds like the begining of a B&D S&M story.

[I Am Paula]

I guess I'm really lucky. I can clean the house, and not have sex anytime I want.-Celeste

[JenniferR771]

Its not for everyone. But to me it sounds like fun...an erotic BDSM adventure to be sure. I am thinking your house is very clean.

[MissTee]

Omitting the chastity device, what you described has been a role play fantasy we've acted out here and there in our marriage. Couldn't ever see it as a lifestyle.

[Tracii G]

Someone dominating me or trying isn't going to work at all.
A small voice in my head is saying she is taking you for a fool. I would be wary.

[Lorileah]

I think it is wayyyy toooo much information for here to start with. I also agree you are going to get tired of it pretty quick (and that is coming from a sub)

PS this is a borderline thread...one person steps over that line...buh bye

[PaulaQ]

I'll be honest here. Although parts of this are a pretty common fantasy, unless your wife is into D/S pretty seriously, I don't see how this saves your marriage. Sorry. If you two are playing and having fun - then cool, you are living the dream. (Well, someone's dream anyway.)

I'm unable to comprehend the idea of a sexless marriage. I know such exist, and are fairly common - but I could never live in one.

I'm not passing judgement here, personally it's fine by me what you are doing - just saying that it is not an arrangement I would envision for saving a marriage, except in fantasy stories.

[docrobbysherry]

Jessica, this is obviously kinky enjoyment for your wife. No vanilla person would ask or want u to do those things!

Curiously, you've asked what WE think about your arrangement without revealing anything about how u feel about it!? I find THAT quite odd! As, most folks would either make that deal because THEY find it appealing, or they'd just say, "No!"

If I didn't know better, I'd say u were here simply to stir the pot rather than to find real answers?

"No gimp shaming!
:Edit:
How can people breathe in those anyway?"

Oh, and 3W? Masks r no problem to breath out of for me. What makes me breathless is wearing a tite laced corset. In more ways than one! Ha ha!

[Tara D. Rose]

Like most post's so far, I'm all for whatever the two of you agree to. If she's having problems with your dressing and an arrangement has been worked out. I think it's cool. For you said it will be twice a week and for only 5 hours and non sexual. So this means that it is not full time all the time. So all is good, just dress and clean.
But since it's non sexual, I really don't understand the chastity device as they call them. Matter of fact though, even for any sexual purposes, I have never understood the need for one of those. I do understand some forms domination and some humiliation, but the chastity device is puzzling to me in any aspect of my mind. If these 5 hour sessions are to be non sexual then the chastity device to me would seem obsolete. It would seem that under the agreement that neither party makes no sexual advances and keep cleaning the house. Is this arrangement also part of role playing? Or is it the only way she will tolerate that you relaxing with your feminine side? To me the chastity device is not a from of cross dressing, so enjoy the 5 hours twice a week. The chastity device,,,very puzzling?
Love & Respect,
Tara D. Rose

[DebbieL]

This past week, due to tension with my wife over my dressing, we have agreed to revert to a completely service oriented relationship while I am Ms. Jessica.


This agreement is likely the only way I can dress and preserve our marriage! What are your thoughts?

The real question here is what does your wife get out of the deal? Does she enjoy dominating you? Does she enjoy the control?

Power exchange can be very intensely satisfying for both partners and there are several excellent books by BEA, Sarah Desmaris, other Amazon books that deal with "Sissy" themes. However, power exchange should be by mutual consent. If she enjoys having the power, and making you do things that you aren't quite thrilled with doing, but you are satisfied in other ways, then you may have found the magic formula that makes your marriage click.

I've had relationships that involved dressing, bondage, serving, and self-imposed chastity as well as cuckolding, that also included appropriate ways for me to meet my needs - and be incredibly happy for an extended period of time. On the other hand, if the relationship becomes totally one-sided, or the "Alpha Male" decides he doesn't want to share "his woman" with a sissy, will your wife dump him - or the sissy? In all three cases, I was the one dumped.


Ms. Jessica

[PaulaQ]

The real question here is what does your wife get out of the deal?

A really clean house?

Actually, I wonder about that. I read an interview one time with this dominatrix, and she'd tried this game out, hoping to get actual housework done. Nobody did a good job cleaning though. Worst one, according to her, was actually a professional butler. She thought "man, this guy is PERFECT, I'll put him in a maid uniform, and he'll do an awesome job of cleaning up - it's what he does professionally, afterall." Turns out though, he was the worst of the lot. He kept breaking stuff, and then expecting punishment. This as more work than just cleaning her own house, and it really made her angry that stuff got "accidently broken!"

[heathr1]

A GG friend has me crossdress while I give her manicures, pedicures and do her hair. This is an arrangement which suits us when both of us are happy to do it.

She also helps me shop for my female clothes.

If either of us need a break, that is fine.

She told me that with previous friends/partners, it is very difficult to get someone to regularly do household chores to a high standard, when all they want to do is crossdress.

I love crossdressing and pampering her, but should it be on set hours, on set days, with strict conditions imposed, I may feel differently about it.

[docrobbysherry]

Jessica,
1. Do you enjoy wearing the ‘device’?
2. Do you enjoy cleaning your (also hers) home?

If the answer to both is yes, then have at it.

If the answer is NO to either, then she is not being an accepting, loving wife, IMO.

CD'ing is supposed to something you find enjoyable or relaxing-or just plain fun.

Why does she insist on the device while cleaning?

You say you 2 made an agreement to a ‘mostly’ [?] non-sexual session 2X/wk.?

What does she think you’re going to do? Force yourself on her in between scrubbing the toilet and vacuuming?

*“we have agreed to revert to a completely service oriented relationship while I am Ms. Jessica” So, you are returning to a former condition, practice??? i.e.: You used to engage in this same type of arrangement during a previous time in your marriage???

Just been reading some of your prior posts, your wife sounds very accepting and loving towards Jessica. What happened? Does not make sense anymore.
Snow, I'm sure u know some CDs get sexual excitement out of dressing? Maybe cleaning turns Jessica on? Their whole plan is all about kinky pleasures, it seems to me. The device doesn't allow Jessica to satisfy herself when she becomes excited. So, she needs her SO's permission. It's all about sex games!

These consensual BDSM arrangements between couple can be very involved and may seem weird. But, both parties involved get their jollies. Jessica left so much out of her thread. I believe it was intentional? So, we'd take her simple, silly premise and run around like chickens with no heads while she laffs hers off!

[suchacutie]

I would start with all that has been said, but there is the option that your wife is pressing it as hard as she can to see where the limits are. You might want to determine those for yourself just in case, so that you are prepared for a request you can't accept.

[Tania D]

What ever works for you is what you should do (the chastity device sound a bit scary) my SO and I have just embarked on life as sisters, it works for us and I have never been happier

[linda allen]

I've never understood how people can be together based on pain, humiliation or domination. That's not a relationship. You each fill some base need for the other, but that is not love. I'll never get it.

Me neither. The whole thing sounds strange. And sad.

[sometimes_miss]

This is actually a very similar scenario I was going to offer my ex wife, well, with the exception of the chastity device. It was simply an attempt to get her to see at least one positive thing about my crossdressing for her, because she hated doing housework, and I really didn't mind it because I had lived alone before we got married. Jessica, I don't know where this will all lead; but if it helps her learn that there are some positive things she can appreciate about your crossdressing, then I say go for it. Go further; offer personal service like washing and doing her hair, make up, nails, etc, whatever you can do, and be very careful not to connect anything sexual about it to what you're doing. Make it 'all about her'; let her know how much you love her, and want her to be happy, but at the same time want to be happy with yourself too. Don't forget to 'be the guy' in her life, don't force her to start making all the decisions, as women still need to feel like women, they like to be taken out, wined and dined, etc., with you making the plans. Prove you can still be the guy she wants, while only being the girl sometimes. Maybe it will work, maybe as time goes on she will accept you being Jessica for more than just cleaning time.
Good luck.

[LilSissyStevie]

I've never understood how people can be together based on pain, humiliation or domination.

Apparently you know nothing about being married.:straightface:

[darla_g]

Apparently you know nothing about being married.:straightface:that's not what i would want in my marriage

[Diversity]

In all honesty, it just doesn't sound like a normal, healthy relationship. It sounds as though your wife wants to feel in power over you. Dominate you. It appears that it is more of a punishment being given to you, rather than a 'professional' relationship as a housekeeper, because you are crossdressing and she does not approve of it. That's how I am reading this. Good luck to you, Ms. Jessica.
Di

[Alice B]

Seems like a reasonable situation, except for the chastity belt. Can't understand why that is necessary.

[whowhatwhen]

It may be a shared kink, some people like those dirty sort of things.
Not me though, I'm as pure as the driven snow.

:angel:

[suzy1]

Me neither. The whole thing sounds strange. And sad.

Just because you don’t understand something doesn’t make it strange and sad Linda. It just means you don’t understand it.

I enjoy bondage. Does that make me sad?

Don’t judge!

[becky77]

This past week, due to tension with my wife over my dressing, we have agreed to revert to a completely service oriented relationship while I am Ms. Jessica. After purchasing an actual housekeeping uniform from a supplier, I am allowed to become our female house keeper twice a week for 5 hours each session. Last night was my first session on duty and I worked diligently and thoroughly to make our home spotless. Moreover, I am now wearing a male chastity device most of the time and especially while I am serving as our housekeeper. My wife wants my dressing to be professional with regard to her and mostly non-sexual.

This agreement is likely the only way I can dress and preserve our marriage! What are your thoughts?

Ms. Jessica

You haven't given anything away regarding how you feel about this? I can only give my opinion which doesn't count, because It probably has no relation to you or your wife. Not sure if you are asking for advise or just telling us a story?
Some people like that kind of thing and if that's you too, then good for you, otherwise i'm not sure what I can add.

[Miss Mandy]

The fact is, I have mild OCD so cleaning tends to calm me. I hate clutter and love order and cleanliness! I had part of the day off today, so I got dressed in my uniform about 2:00 PM this afternoon and cleaned until around 10pm this evening. The house is immaculate, my wife was extremely happy when she got home this evening, and she "rewarded me about a hour go. What more does an man-women need?

To all of those who have told me how dysfunctional, sad, and unhealthy my relationship is, my advice to you is to quit hiding in your self-righteousness, have your wife buy you a uniform, get off your A** , and get to work!

Haha,

MJ

[PaulaQ]

The house is immaculate, my wife was extremely happy when she got home this evening, and she "rewarded me about a hour go. What more does an man-women need?

What was the "reward," she asks naively? My first thought would be ice cream - but that would be bad for your figure.

[linda allen]

The fact is, I have mild OCD so cleaning tends to calm me. I hate clutter and love order and cleanliness! I had part of the day off today, so I got dressed in my uniform about 2:00 PM this afternoon and cleaned until around 10pm this evening. The house is immaculate, my wife was extremely happy when she got home this evening, and she "rewarded me about a hour go. What more does an man-women need?

To all of those who have told me how dysfunctional, sad, and unhealthy my relationship is, my advice to you is to quit hiding in your self-righteousness, have your wife buy you a uniform, get off your A** , and get to work!

Haha,

MJ


This past week, due to tension with my wife over my dressing, we have agreed to revert to a completely service oriented relationship while I am Ms. Jessica. After purchasing an actual housekeeping uniform from a supplier, I am allowed to become our female house keeper twice a week for 5 hours each session. Last night was my first session on duty and I worked diligently and thoroughly to make our home spotless. Moreover, I am now wearing a male chastity device most of the time and especially while I am serving as our housekeeper. My wife wants my dressing to be professional with regard to her and mostly non-sexual.

This agreement is likely the only way I can dress and preserve our marriage! What are your thoughts?



When you post a situation on an Internet forum, you have to expect a lot of different responses. If you're not willing to consider them, you shouldn't post in the first place.

I think once you get older and wiser, you will figure out that this situation is, in fact, "dysfunctional, sad, and unhealthy".

A real marriage is based on mutual love and respect.

[Sarasometimes]

The most important question is not what our thoughts are but what yours are. This arrangement might be fun for a week or two, and a whole bunch of us here might have had a fantasy or two along these lines but I'd never do it in real life. Its not me to let someone dominate my life.

Are you going to resent her dominance over you, or is that your thing? How would you feel about being reduced to her slave and sleeping in a dog bed a the foot of the bed, if she wants to take it that far? How about not having sex with her the way you used to, whatever that was. If you are down wiht it all the way, the clean away baby, and don't miss a spot!


Good luck Ms Jessica, whatever you choose.

Well put Ronni! I'd like to add something..but I got nuthin' Good luck (oh yeah you missed a spot on the mirror! kidding)

[whowhatwhen]

A real marriage is based on mutual love and respect.

As are kinks, it sounds like it's just a spice-up both of them seem to enjoy.

[docrobbysherry]

-------------
I think once you get older and wiser, you will figure out that this situation is, in fact, "dysfunctional, sad, and unhealthy".

A real marriage is based on mutual love and respect.
Yeah, Linda. Those "real" TV, movie, and storybook marriages maybe. But, I've been married AND divorced in REAL life.

I don't believe that anything 2 people do in private, that hurts no one, is, "dysfunctional, sad, or unhealthy", if they enjoy it together. If Jessica, or anyone, can keep their marriage happy, caring, and enjoyable, they have MY respect. Because after a few years together, that can be dammed hard to do!

Judging anyone without walking around in her heels is usually a BAD IDEA!

[Maria S]

When you post a situation on an Internet forum, you have to expect a lot of different responses. If you're not willing to consider them, you shouldn't post in the first place.

I think once you get older and wiser, you will figure out that this situation is, in fact, "dysfunctional, sad, and unhealthy".

A real marriage is based on mutual love and respect.

I could not agree more with Linda. We have all posted on this forum in the past and not necessarily liked some of the replies we have got back. Your situation does sound dysfunctional, sad and unhealthy but at present you may be unable to see that. Without mutual love and respect a marriage is not a marriage.

Maria

[LilSissyStevie]

You've got to love it!! A bunch of dudes sitting around in skirts and panties looking down their noses at someone calling them dysfunctional, sad and unhealthy!!!!!

HAAAAAAAAAHAHAHHAAAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!

I love this place.

[suzy1]

Suzy, I enjoy that you enjoy bondage! What does THAT make ME?:battingeyelashes:

Your friend,
Snow

Super sad!:heehee:

Your good friend,

Suzy:)

[Lorileah]

A bunch of dudes sitting around in skirts and panties looking down their noses at someone calling them dysfunctional, sad and unhealthy!!!!!
.

Not to mention rude and insulting.

I am going to make a call here.... this thread is done