Am I transitioning?

[London]

I am not a burly male. I have some fem features and use to have a fem body before the Military. Now I want that fem body back, Is this unuseual? I am contiplating a transition, but not a total. I am looking to move to a place more excepting and want to be open with myself and the world. I am a man who feels like I was ment to be a woman that still will live as a man and have fun as a woman. Confused yet, cause I am not lol. I want to find a place where I can be who I want, when I want. Atlanta is seeming like the #1 spot for me so far. But I am not gay and have no attration to men. I am soley attracted to the female body. So I guess Male me is straight and the Fem me is gay lol. SO now that I have gone off topic. And I transitioning?

[Candice Mae]

I can't tell you what your doing or what you should do, that is for you to figure out and discover your true self. Also being or wanting to be "fem" as you put it doesn't mean you are or have to be gay, not that there's anything wrong with being gay. Just that there are a lot of heterosexual CD's.

[Barbara Ella]

London, Candice tells it straight. No one but you can tell yourself what you are doing. Different actions mean different things to each individual. The name you put on your actions is not important. What is important is your inner thoughts about what you are doing, and how right they feel for you. Don't spend your time looking for the label. Spend your time enjoying what you are doing. Periodically stop and take stock of where you are and if it feels right. The only thing for certain is that you are on your journey.

Barbara

[London]

I have always been the more fem guy. Even my dad has stated that he is surprised that I am not gay after what my 2 ex wives have done to me. Wow talk about support lol. I am perfectly happy being a straight guy. I just think I was ment to be a fem anyways. I have always been more of a girly guy. I like it that way. To each to their own. I think I am actully ment to be a girl. I have always been on my own with my life and my parents seem happy that I am always doing my middle child thing. Is there a possiblility from a straight guy to have a woman who excepts me for me and not only lets me live how I feel I should, but also helps and enjoys the love? Maybe. I am just rambling I guess. Years of pent up frustration. Yep therapy, here I come. I am glad my health coverage covers this. The cool thing is I am happy and that is what I feel is most important.

[PaulaQ]

London, there are many women who'll accept this. There are many who won't , too. It's best to sort this out up front. But they are out there. If you are younger, your odds are probably better.

[Tracii G]

If you are straight you are straight dressing as a female won't change that.
Transitioning to me is when you physically change your sex surgically to match how you feel inside.
Its not a simple black and white thing and is quite complex.

[Marleena]

Hi London! It's gender confusion. If you enjoy, want, or need to remain a male you are not transitioning but gender bending. Have fun!

[Angela Campbell]

I am no expert but If you are transitioning it is a decision and you would have made that choice and would be fully aware you are doing it. It isn't something that happens while you sleep.

[Beverley Sims]

You are confusing your thoughts and need to stabilize your thought process.
Transitioning is a specific undertaking and does not happen without help.
I believe your mindset is changing after reading various threads about CDing and probably sex change.
Get the confusion out of your head and then see what route you want to take.
This does not happen overnight, it takes months and even years to decide.

[London]

Bev, You make solid points. some of what I feel is confusion. Other things is like clear and present. I am not ashamed of who or what I am. But I plan to make sure I no longer live in the North around majority consevatives. I think I am more of a gender bender. Like all say. Its a work in progress.

[Lynn Marie]

Gee whiz London, you sound just like 95% of the crossdressers in the world. I don't understand either your question or your confusion. Atlanta is just another place. To be free to crossdress wherever and whenever you want and be whomever you wish only requires you to be on your own and unattached. It's pretty simple, really.

[KellyJameson]

I would suggest you live in an area that is liberal, artistic and gay friendly because these areas usually are more tolerant of behavior that steps out of culturally defined gender norms.

Try to live in areas where the people are highly educated because this seems to help even though there are no guarantees.

Wanting to be born a woman may simply come from wanting more freedom to be who you are naturally without any expectations or consequences from others.

You may simply be a feminine male who identifies as male. If you developed a fixed female gender identity it would have happened in the first years of life so there would probably be evidence in your life of this gender identity conflict in your relationships with others.

Many, possibly most gay men are feminine but not all feminine men are gay so I would not worry about your sexuality and just allow your sexuality to "flow" where ever it takes you.

Whatever your sexuality is it "is" and there is little you can do to change it just like you cannot change your gender identity. These two things were decide largely at birth with the first years of life reinforcing and shaping what was there at birth.

You will need to use great caution in selecting females you wish to be intimate with because of the danger that you will attract or be attracted to predatory and abusive females.

Other than danger from other men this is probably the single biggest danger to feminine males.

If as a child you adopted a female gender identity this may be waiting to come out and could be a driving force behind your desire to be feminine as you try to "live up to your identity" by "becoming it"

If you have good relations with your parents you may want to ask them if you acted in ways more typical of a girl or ever expressed wanting to be one. Your childhoood is critical to understand gender identity in my opinion.

Gender dysphoria can exist under the surface and than suddenly explode out into the open when something triggers it.

The seeds are planted in the womb and first years of life and for some it goes underground during puberty only to come back out forcefully later in life.

I think for some, sexual desire may suppress gender expression so than gender identity so when sex is removed from the equation it allows the person to naturally discover and express there true gender.

Sex as a relationship with others can pull a person away from being their true self so they suppress their gender to have a relationship.

If I was in your position I would aggressively try to learn about your behavior in the first three to five years of life to see if there is a ticking time bomb waiting to go off.

You do not want to be blindsided by gender dysphoria and crossdressing is often the reason and the trigger.

If you find yourself suffering with anxiety, depression or suicide ideation take it very seriously.

Most people take their gender identity for granted and for them gender identity, gender roles and biological sex are all the same thing and their conflict is primarily with externally imposed gender roles but when they have a disconnect between gender identity and biological sex that is when their is a danger.

Gender dysphoria is extremely dangerous so anyone who moves from one gender to another needs to be very self aware of their moods, feelings, emotions, thoughts and how your body is physically affected should be watched as the "canary in the coal mine"