Help I have got an appointment with a counsellor this week about my crossed

[gill_uk]

Hi I wonder if somebody can give me some advice.
I have got an appointment with a counsellor this week about my crossed your soon and gender issues. I just would like to know. Does anybody know what questions I might be asked and how will it be handled as Iam very nervous about this. This will be the first time that I have discussed these issues with anyone let alone a professional, I would just like to know what they could say to me and what I will be asked and what I can expect so please can somebody give me some advice as I rather nervous about even talking to somebody about these issues.
Hope someone can help me
Thank you
Love
Gill

[JenniferR771]

Not sure about crossed your soon. But if you are discussing crossdressing...I am sure he will be respectful, and keep your conversations confidential. However, keep in mind crossdressing is not an illness, you need not be cured. Take a look at the new defination and comments about crossdressing in the new and official DSM V. Keep in mind that many counselors do not have any education or study of crossdressing in their education.
If he has no books on crossdressing on his shelf, you may be paying him to educate him. No need to be nervous, chances are he has already seen some strange people. He will want to know how far cd goes and how close you are to transexuality. He will want a diagnosis.

[cdmorganashley]

hi well my experience with therapy/counseling is that they just want to encourage you to talk about what you want to talk about-not interrogate you-so it would probably be helpful to think about what you would like feedback on before the appointment and then they will probably ask you some open-ended questions so you can take the discussion where you want it to go... if you arent comfortable with their questions or if things arent going where you want them to just say that to the counselor and they should ask you something like "ok what would you like to talk about"... also if this is a first meeting there is going to be some feeling out on both ends so just remember you can go at a pace of sharing that is comfortable to you-anyway they just want to help you so try to tell them how they can do that, and try to think of some questions you might have for them that when answered will make you feel more comfortable-like maybe flat out ask them if they usually ask their clients lots of questions during a session...well hope that is helpful in some way-my therapist has helped me a lot so i hope you have a similar experience =)

[Jenniferathome]

This is not a test or a deposition. Just answer honestly. This is about self discovery

[Kate Simmons]

Basically say whatever you want to. It's your money, no?:)

[Barbra P]

After I mentioned to my Doctor that I had some gender issues she set me up with a Counselor in her Family Practice Module. I went in thinking I would probably spend maybe thirty-minutes with the Counselor and was surprised that the session lasted more than two-hours.

The Counselor, a nurse, was very pleasant and let me do most of the talking. After she introduced herself we just had a pleasant conversation and I was pretty much in control about what we talked about. What questions she asked were mainly questions asking me to clarify something I said and I never felt uncomfortable while talking to her. I was somewhat surprised that at the end of the session she told me that very few men had ever been as open and easy to talk to as I was; she told me that several times during the session she felt like she was talking with another woman even though she was looking at a man sitting in the chair.

I went in with a typed synopsis of my crossdressing history starting with how I felt when I was a child and leading up to my current feelings. She took a few minutes to read what I had written and as best as I can remember asked me how old I was when I first noticed that I had feminine thoughts. We talked about how I was envious of the girls in my early teens; they were starting to develop and beginning to wear bras and graduating from little-girl clothes to more feminine skirts, blouses, and dresses, and I was stuck with jeans, shirts, and boring boys shoes.

I was a freshman in High School when I discovered some old clothes that my mother didn’t wear anymore, including a strapless long-line bra, and a pair of wedge shoes. I’d rush home from school and change on the days that both my parents worked and I had the house to myself; to this day I still have vivid memories of those after-school escapades. After I got out of the service I started buying women’s clothes; my girlfriend at the time helped me buy a bra and some other clothes for a Halloween party.

We discussed how my feelings progressed through my adult years and at the end of the session she told me that she thought I should see a Licensed Therapist in the Psychology Department and did she have my permission to ask my Doctor to submit a referral. She explained that she would personally pick out a Therapist that she thought I would be comfortable with and one with experience dealing with gender issues. That was in June of 2011 and I have been seeing Kelly, my Therapist, on a monthly basis ever since.

A good Counselor or Therapist should put you at ease and should feel comfortable discussing personal things with them. I feel much more at ease with a female Therapist then a male Therapist. When Barbra goes in to see Kelly, Kelly always comments on my clothes and makeup and I don’t think I would feel as comfortable with a male.

You do need to be totally up front and honest with your Counselor, they can’t help you if you keep secrets from them. As has already been stated, if you are looking for a cure you’re wasting their time as well as yours. That is one of the first things Kelly said to me during our first visit, if I was there to be cured I might as well get up and leave. She could help me accept myself for what I was, help me with issues associated with crossdressing, but there was known cure. My Wife tolerates my crossdressing but is not real accepting or supportive and Kelly has help me accept that.

Good luck! I suspect that you will have an enjoyable time.

[Beverley Sims]

Just answer honestly.
One question that is always a leveler.....
"Why do you want to be a woman?"
Or a question in that vein.

[jennifer1958]

Please keep us informed about your sessions. I would love to learn through you what a professional thinks about our journey.

Jennifer

[Allison Chaynes]

They should mostly let you talk and ask the questions. Just explain how you feel and feel free to ask whatever is on your mind.

[sandra-leigh]

(Moving from the other thread you asked this in)

Gill, what you are asked will depend on the person's experience with gender and CD. If they are not so familiar, you can expect the usual "Are you gay? Do you want to be a woman?". If they do have experience with gender and CD'ing, you can still expect those two questions, but phrased more tactfully, as part of defining what issues you would like addressed.

One very general question you will be asked relatively early on (if you have not gone ahead and answered it already) is, "How do you feel about that?", as in "Is this presenting you with difficulties, and if so in what respect?" And perhaps not immediately but at some point in the first or second session, "How would you like to live?", which would likely lead to a discussion of the barriers you feel in getting there.

[docrobbysherry]

Gill, your thinking this will be some kind of 3rd degree. A good therapist doesn't work that way! Anything u feel uncomfortable discussing won't be discussed until u want to!

Instead of worrying about his or her questions, u should be preparing questions u want the answers to!

[cody]

Hi Gill
Firstly you need to be totally honest with yourself. Ask yourself a few questions. 1. Does your life give you concerns? If so, discuss this with your therapist. 2. Does your choice of life style give cause for concern to anyone else close to you? if so, discuss this. 3. Are you totally relaxed with your lifestyle? - you guessed, discuss this. Your therapist is there to talk about you and what YOU want to talk about. The only person who can answer the questions above is you and thats what your therapist is for - to help you discover the answers within yourself. There is only you that can tell you how you feel. Your therapist will help you understand your feelings.

Good luck hun and remember; When you look in the mirror, the beautiful girl looking back at you is YOU xx:battingeyelashes::)

[Stevie]

I would say establish some trust. If you can't trust your counselor then you can talk to then so that defeats the purpose. I would then slowly introduce them into your world and see how they react. If you feel comfortable then tell them the Eason why you are there. Most of all don't lie.