suzanne
03-11-2013, 02:24 AM
In a recent radio interview, Dan Savage was asked what was the reason for the recent victories in the advancement of gay rights, in particular the states that voted in favor of gay marriage recent US elections. His answer was simple “Gay people came out of the closet” He went on to explain that since gays represent approximately 10% of the population, they cannot achieve a majority in a public vote without support from the other 90%. When they come out of the closet, more members of the majority discover they actually know someone who is gay (or BLTQ) and the question of rights becomes more personal. Instead of “those F**s” in some detached way, gays can be friends, neighbours, co-workers, even family members, and much, much harder to dismiss and deny them the rights and privileges the rest of us enjoy.
In some similar way, we crossdressers need to consider the relative costs and benefits of getting out in public. I truly admire all my sisters who have learned to present their femme selves and just get out there and do everyday things. I believe every one of us who goes out en femme acts as an ambassador for the rest of us, showing the general public that we are just folks and that the sky doesn't fall when a man puts on a dress. Outing people against their will is a bad idea, but every demonstration of how easy and fun it can be to go out in public represents a gentle nudge in that direction. It's a more feminine way to do it anyway.
This is already happening, of course. I read with pride every day in this forum about all those who get out dressed, and go about their business with no negative consequences. Hey, even a longer than normal sideways glance is not necessarily negative, but maybe just curiosity. Threats and conflicts seem to be rare – thank God.
I am not passable as a female nor have I made many great strides in making crossdressers more accepted, but I have recently begun making my own contribution to this cause. I spent a couple of hours on a Friday night shopping and dining in a restaurant with my daughter, wearing a complete femme pants outfit and 3” heels, with no makeup, forms or wig. And I definitely want to do it more. My plan is to present as a man with feminine taste in clothes without coming off as a freak or drag queen. I think it will be trickier than for those lucky ones who can pass as female. On the other hand, being less invisible might help this cause more. Who knows? Could it be that the greatest barrier is our own fears? Either way, getting out more helps us all get out more.
In some similar way, we crossdressers need to consider the relative costs and benefits of getting out in public. I truly admire all my sisters who have learned to present their femme selves and just get out there and do everyday things. I believe every one of us who goes out en femme acts as an ambassador for the rest of us, showing the general public that we are just folks and that the sky doesn't fall when a man puts on a dress. Outing people against their will is a bad idea, but every demonstration of how easy and fun it can be to go out in public represents a gentle nudge in that direction. It's a more feminine way to do it anyway.
This is already happening, of course. I read with pride every day in this forum about all those who get out dressed, and go about their business with no negative consequences. Hey, even a longer than normal sideways glance is not necessarily negative, but maybe just curiosity. Threats and conflicts seem to be rare – thank God.
I am not passable as a female nor have I made many great strides in making crossdressers more accepted, but I have recently begun making my own contribution to this cause. I spent a couple of hours on a Friday night shopping and dining in a restaurant with my daughter, wearing a complete femme pants outfit and 3” heels, with no makeup, forms or wig. And I definitely want to do it more. My plan is to present as a man with feminine taste in clothes without coming off as a freak or drag queen. I think it will be trickier than for those lucky ones who can pass as female. On the other hand, being less invisible might help this cause more. Who knows? Could it be that the greatest barrier is our own fears? Either way, getting out more helps us all get out more.