Passing off womens shoes in guy mode?

[FelicityMay]

So the first thing that got me into CD is the shoes.
walking around in femme shoes is my favorite part overall, but how well can you pull off making it look natural if you were to go out wearing a pair of ballet flats without dressing up all the way?
would it make it seem different to go around with tight pants with it? or would you think i would have to dress all the way up to justify it?

[cathie pantyhose]

not sure for me as I only wear heels that are 4-5". Not sure I could pull that off in guy mode

[linda allen]

In most situations you will look pretty strange wearing a pair of ballet flats while dressed otherwise as a male. It's not something I would do.

[Jodi Anne]

It is up to you, don't let anyone Else tell you what feels ok to you. my suggestion would do a test run wearing whatever shoes you want and go to a store that you can see what the public response is. You maybe surprised that not many notice or they just do not care.

[Rebecca Watson]

I'd suggest just giving it a shot! Sounds like fun. If you're wearing long trousers, they will tend to cover the shoes mostly anyway. Moreover, if you had black socks with black shoes it'd be very hard to tell anyway, I think. (If you have bright pink shoes, or black shoes with white socks, on the other hand, it might be much easier.)


"I mean, seriously, how often do you really look at a man's shoes?" -- Shawshank Redemption

I once wore high heeled boots out in public in the city centre, otherwise dressed as a guy (I even had a fair amount of stubble). People everywhere, but nobody batted an eyelid. I was astonished how there was no reaction. They even made a rather loud sound on the footpath as I walked, but still, no reaction. I suspect people simply have more important things to do with their lives than to worry about what other people are wearing.

Alternatively, you could do like I do, and wear flat-heeled boots (mine have gone unnoticed [or, at least, unmentioned] for over a month).

- Becky

[Wildaboutheels]

Contrary to a common Forum MYTH...

There is no RIGHT or WRONG way to CD. Just wear what you want and treat people you come into contact with, with Courtesy and Respect. I'LL bet 99% won't care what you are wearing. Why should they?

[amy96]

I wear my keds quite often and they pass...also the Nikes I have now do a great job of passing...but then again, I'm a nike, vans and keds girl so heels are out of it for me

[Jamie001]

There is no reason that you can't pull it off. Women wear men's shoes all of the time, so why can't you wear women's shoes as a man? I do it all of the time with women's sandals and bright red toenails. I recommend the following website.

http://www.hhplace.org

Please example this website and you will see that men from all walks of life wear high heels, flats, and other women's shoes as a man. You will also learn that 90 percent of the fear is just in your own mind.

[Stevann]

Daily, I wear women's shoes that are sort-of male, but with 1.75 inch heels. I'm sure people notice, but no one has said anything.

[Vanessa5]

I too have worn womens shoes while in male mode. Usually I am wearing long pants that cover them up and they look somewhat like cowboy boots. Not one person has noticed. As a added bonus some heels that I wear actually help my feet feel awsome (I have flat feet and heels are just like my inserts but more gentle on my arch).

[Jamie001]

Daily, I wear women's shoes that are sort-of male, but with 1.75 inch heels. I'm sure people notice, but no one has said anything.

People know that you are wearing women's shoes but no one cares; it is really none of their business. You are not violating any laws.

[Nikki A.]

A bunch of my work shoes are womens, sneakers, boots , clogs and shoes. Noone has said anything

[Daryl]

My boots and sneakers I wear everyday in public. Also when the weather gets better I'll wear mt flats.

[I Am Paula]

One day I was leaving the house in drab. I noticed my new jeans were too long, so I slipped on a pair of pumps. In a store a SA said, really loud and enthusiastically 'OMG, are you wearing stillettos?'. I pulled up one pantleg and turned a bit. 'That is so awesome, more guys should wear sexy shoes, did you ever see Prince?'. I'm glad a few people can see beauty in unexpected places.
Wear whatever you're comfortable in. Sketchers sneakers, in pink, lavender, and orange, look great with jeans or capris.-Celeste

[Ressie]

Penny lovers can be worn by men or women. Not a bad compromise if you wear trouser socks with them!

[Beverley Sims]

I have some runners with pink flashes on the side.
They are Nike.
I have a couple of pairs of slip on flats and the heels click on the pavement.
The worst offenders are actually mens shoes and I get looked at all the time wearing them.

Who is the woman coming up behind me?
Just some dude in noisy shoes.

[flatlander_48]

So the first thing that got me into CD is the shoes.
walking around in femme shoes is my favorite part overall, but how well can you pull off making it look natural if you were to go out wearing a pair of ballet flats without dressing up all the way?
would it make it seem different to go around with tight pants with it? or would you think i would have to dress all the way up to justify it?

One important aspect of fashion has to do with scale. In other words, little tiny women should go around with 20 gallon totes for purses. It just looks "off". In the same vein, I would wonder how closely fitting shoes with very thin soles would work compared with male clothes. Seems to me that the proportions might be off.

[Eryn]

Almost all of the shoes I wear to work are women's, but they are athletic shoes. I just like wearing a little pink and I can get away with it on those shoes.

I couldn't get away with ballet flats, though! If that's what floats your boat, have fun!

[brandi.tgurl]

i don't know about ballet flats... but vans and converse are pretty universal as far as gender goes. i wear them in both drag and drab. the colors and patterns are male or female oriented, but i wear both.

there are also some dress oxfords/mules that might be pulled off without too much fanfare in drab....

[Diane Smith]

I no longer own a single pair of men's shoes, although to come totally clean, the black sneakers I wear to work most of the time are essentially unisex even though they came from "her" side of the aisle.

In addition to those, I've worn everything from ballet flats to 5" stilettos as my daily footwear for 15 years or so now.

I can count on one hand the number of times anyone has commented or even acted like they noticed my unusual shoes. Most people don't look, most who look don't quite see, most who see don't care, and most who care are at most just curious, or even mildly positive about it. When I do get comments, it's usually in safe places -- in stores when I'm shopping for other shoes, at the salon, in a doctor's office, or as a compliment when standing in line at the MAC makeup counter.

Long pants help. I usually wear them long enough to cover all but an inch or so of my heels. I have a few "stealthy" heels with wedges or relatively thick heels that don't scream "femme" quite as loud as my favored spikes, but most of the time, I don't go out of my way to wear unobtrusive shoes. As something of a lark, I just did order these from Nine West and am waiting for them to arrive:

http://www.ninewest.com/Evlo/033784485343,default,pd.html

I bet I can wear those almost anywhere and nobody will notice a thing.

At least around here, I can speak from experience that ballet flats would almost never get you any special attention.

- Diane

[Tracii G]

I wear these jeans and boots in guy mode all the time and I have have had a few GG's compliment me.
Guys have not said anything.

[Geneva Lake]

Tracii ... You look magnificent!

[winny]

Ahh the shoes... My first crossdressing love... I can remember wearing my mom's shoes at a very young age trying to emulate her...

In the present day, i still have the love of heels, sandals, loafers, boots..... Then came the issue of wearing them on a daily basis... I basically started buying and wearing women's shoes that are hardly noticed... Flip flops, tennies, sandals with a low heeled wedge... I also love to wear my stilettos and heeled boots ( underneath my girl jeans).. people hardly notice and when they do, they rarely say anything.
--winny

[FelicityMay]

wow it looks like we have a very wide variety of how open people are here! haha...
yea im a big fan of flats, and i just got some last night, wandered around the park in the dark with them, didnt feel weird at all.
right now im up after having stayed up all night, so my brain is pretty much mush. i kinda wish i always felt like this though, because nothing seems weird to me right now. i dont think i would even notice if i just dressed up and went to work like that haha...
so i guess that seeing something weird after a while becomes normal to you, but it still may seem weird to someone else...

[darla_g]

In most situations you will look pretty strange wearing a pair of ballet flats while dressed otherwise as a male. It's not something I would do.

totally agree with Linda. Everyone would certainly notice and if you don't care its fine, but don't delude yourself that no one will notice or care.

[danielle3]

I don't think it registers with most people. I have a very narrow foot and typical men's sizes do not fit at all. So for over 20 yrs I have only had shoes in women's sizes. I do mostly wear oxford styles in dark colors, but also Keds and sandals. Also winter boots with 1" or under heels. I can't remember ever getting a comment, maybe a quick glance but that's it.

[Jamie001]

In most situations you will look pretty strange wearing a pair of ballet flats while dressed otherwise as a male. It's not something I would do.

Women wear masculine shoes all of the time. I don't see the problem.

[Tracii G]

I have these on today in 50/50 mode and not any OMG that sort of a guy is wearing womens boots !!

[FelicityMay]

yea, so i suppose the real question is "how much do you have to wear to make the shoes blend?"
if you went all out, the shoes would look normal, but half and half i guess you would just have to decide for yourself!

[AlanaG]

I wear these occasionally in guy mode. http://www.amazon.com/dp/B002FB5TPS/ref=pe_175190_21431760_cs_sce_dp_1

[Rachel Morley]

I wear navy blue Keds or Saltwater Sandals with skinny fit girls jeans in boy mode and no one has ever said a thing to me. I've have one guy look at my Keds once. What I would like to be able to do is wear wear black ballet flats, but I just can't seem to bring myself to do it. I'm too chicken!

[Jamie001]

I wear navy blue Keds or Saltwater Sandals with skinny fit girls jeans in boy mode and no one has ever said a thing to me. I've have one guy look at my Keds once. What I would like to be able to do is wear wear black ballet flats, but I just can't seem to bring myself to do it. I'm too chicken!

It seems like all of the skater kids are wearing those bright pink Keds. Maybe they are making them for guys now.

[Jenniferathome]

100% of the human population will notice. It's unlikely anyone would say anything, people just don't care. But it you want to to go unnoticed, forget it.

[jjjjohanne]

I go out wearing a skirt and women's shoes with my male upper half. People almost always notice. They normally hide their reaction. Occasionally, people will try to find their phone to take a picture. So, that is your control group. That's what people do when they definitely notice. If you go out in feminine shoes, the people who notice will be fewer, but they aren't going to make a show of things. (I should clarify that I do not dress like this around people who know me.) I have worn Keds with my jeans in public and I have noticed only a small few of women glance down at my feet. Ballet flats would be more noticeable. I personally would seek out shoes that are not dainty or feminine so that it matches stylistically with my masculine outfit. I predict that no matter what you wear, people will not react if they notice (assuming that you go to places where decent people are found).

[Geneva Lake]

Ok, I wear "women's" shoes 24/7 in drab. Guess what? It's no big deal. A few people look, but that's all. It's all we carry ourselves. My shoes are my shoes. We tend to overthink these things. Just wear what you like. Stop being so terrorized. Oh, and your boots are excellent, Tracii!

[linda allen]

Women wear masculine shoes all of the time. I don't see the problem.

It's not the same. Women wear pants and it's accepted. Men wear skirts and it's not.

I'm trying to give a person some real world advice, not trying to advance the cause of crossdressers.

[Jamie001]

Ok, I wear "women's" shoes 24/7 in drab. Guess what? It's no big deal. A few people look, but that's all. It's all we carry ourselves. My shoes are my shoes. We tend to overthink these things. Just wear what you like. Stop being so terrorized. Oh, and your boots are excellent, Tracii!

I 100 percent agree and always wear feminine women's sandals with red toenails in my femme male mode. I am not trying to pass as a woman. Most of the crossdressers on this site tend to create very large demons in their own mind that really don't exist especially when it comes to wearing any feminine item in male mode. The reason is that most of these crossdressers are extremely closeted when in male mode and are afraid that they will give little tell-tale signs that they crossdress. If you want to wear feminine shoes in male mode just do it. The Earth will not stop rotating on its axis. People just don't care. They are too busy going about their own lives to care about your shoes. The world does not revolve around you.
See http://www.hhplace.org/ to learn about men wearing women's shoes as men.

[Jamie001]

It's not the same. Women wear pants and it's accepted. Men wear skirts and it's not.

I'm trying to give a person some real world advice, not trying to advance the cause of crossdressers.

It is real world advice. I wear feminine women's shoes almost everyday in male mode and people don't care. We create too many demons in our own mind. Check out http://www.hhplace.org/ to learn about men wearing women's shoes as men. The Earth does not stop rotating on its axis. People just don't care about your shoes and it is none of their business. If they ask about your shoes, just tell them that you like the style. It is really that simple. Also more importantly, "own" what you are wearing and be proud. If you act like a scared rabbit people will know that something is up and you will get treated accordingly.

[famousunknown]

100% of the human population will notice. It's unlikely anyone would say anything, people just don't care. But it you want to to go unnoticed, forget it.

I agree. I personally don't see why anyone would want to wear female shoes in male mode. But hey, whatever floats your boat. I think it mostly depends on where you do this. I would advise against doing it in any redneck areas unless you're just looking for a fight. It might look completely normal in California...in Arkansas and Mississippi aka "the south"...not so much.

[Taylor186]

I wear these occasionally in guy mode. http://www.amazon.com/dp/B002FB5TPS/ref=pe_175190_21431760_cs_sce_dp_1

Love these and Zappo's have them on-sale!

[Jamie001]

I agree. I personally don't see why anyone would want to wear female shoes in male mode. But hey, whatever floats your boat. I think it mostly depends on where you do this. I would advise against doing it in any redneck areas unless you're just looking for a fight. It might look completely normal in California...in Arkansas and Mississippi aka "the south"...not so much.

The reason to wear female shoes in male mode is to obtain a more feminine look while still presenting as a male. Quite often women attempt to masculinize their look my wearing one or two men's fashion items while otherwise presenting as a woman. There are many articles on the internet and in women's fashion magazines that describe to add men's items to their wardrobe whether it is shoes, a man's watch, necktie, or other items. It is a free country and you can wear women's shoes anywhere that you like.

Most of the crossdressers here on crossdressers.com operate like a switch that has only two positions : 1. full male mode, or 2. full femme mode. They do not understand the concept of a feminine male that is content presenting as a male with feminine characteristics. Examples are myself, Sissy Stephanie, Butterfly Bill and maybe a dozen others. We are the opposite of a Tomboy and just like to express the feminine in our look but we are not trying to deceive folks into believing that we are women.

[bobbie c]

jamie..add one more...i like to go that route also. why is it always overthought out when it comes to this type of subject. wear the shoes, stand up and go. others don't care. i have and do, and of course take my surrandings in mind as i would with anything...my goddess ...and traci....love the boots, have some just like that and wear them in guy mode...never a comment except from a lady who gave me a nice comment....be you!!!!

[FelicityMay]

i think it does have a little bit to do with the area you live in.
some places think so harshly when they see someone who stands out.
i personally dont dress up in places i might be recognized, or thought of as a creep.
so im a little shameful in public, but i will make it there some day :)

[kimberly.e.hong]

I personally think society is becoming more and more accepting of trends that go against the old norm -- "hipsterism" as a few would call it. I guess it depends where you live, how socially liberal it is.

[roby54]

i wear womans boots and i drive truck and am in 10 states a week.I hardly ever have anyone even say anything ,i like them cus they are light and they are soft,they do not last long so i get new ones every few months

[Candice Mae]

Tracii's done it right if you want to attempt this, as for heel's your gonna need some long jeans if you plan on covering them up.
http://i1070.photobucket.com/albums/u498/crystal8812/003_zpsbb1d9ff2.jpg

These jeans don't have a huge inseam but when I'm bare foot they touch the ground. So if your wanting to cover them up make sure to have a pair of jeans with atleast a three inch longer inseam then you regularly wear. And then there's the distinct heel sound, I had a pair out loud dress shoes in the past, but the sound is definitely different then heels.

[Jamie001]

jamie..add one more...i like to go that route also. why is it always overthought out when it comes to this type of subject. wear the shoes, stand up and go. others don't care. i have and do, and of course take my surrandings in mind as i would with anything...my goddess ...and traci....love the boots, have some just like that and wear them in guy mode...never a comment except from a lady who gave me a nice comment....be you!!!!

Bobbie,

You are correct, "others don't care". Why would they care about something as insignificant, inconsequential, and trivial as the shoes that you are wearing? Unfortunately it is very difficult to convince some of the folks here because they have created a very large demon in their own mind.

[SarahBJackson]

I have a pair of brown flat heeled boots that I wear under pant legs. I know, it's not that daring, but I love knowing that I'm wearing women's boots.

[Jennifer in CO]

kind of the same theme everyone else has shared - I don't own any "male" shoes. My daily wear are a pair of Payless "Believe" loafers:

http://www.payless.com/store/product/detail.jsp?catId=cat10088&subCatId=cat220004&skuId=099738130&productId=53543&lotId=099738&category=&catdisplayName=Womens#

very comfortable and never a comment

[Jocee]

Sandals, boots, loafers and sneakers on regular basis.....

[Geneva Lake]

Oh, Candice ...gorgeous shoes on gorgeous feet. A perfect combination.

[donnatracey]

kind of the same theme everyone else has shared - I don't own any "male" shoes. My daily wear are a pair of Payless "Believe" loafers:

http://www.payless.com/store/product/detail.jsp?catId=cat10088&subCatId=cat220004&skuId=099738130&productId=53543&lotId=099738&category=&catdisplayName=Womens#

very comfortable and never a comment

Thanks for the tip, Jennifer! They do look comfy.....

[crazybiker]

I use to go out all the time in my flats when I was living in my own place for a couple of years. All the time to movies and groceries, and once to the mall cause I hadn't planned on going and the only person to say anything was a little kid that was like 3-4 ft tall, just a wee boy but old enough to just blatenly blurt out, "hey, aren't those girls shoes(while looking at me) and then he runs back to dad and asks why is that guy wearing girls shoes.
PS, they were only ever black flats with a slight wrap at the toe or a small black bow that wasn't really noticeable with my boot cut jeans so the top of my foot didn't show like it would wearing like slim cut or skinny's

[Tracii G]

Long jeans are the only way to wear heels in guy mode.
Went to P.F Chang's for dinner and had the same boots on with longer jeans than in that pic I posted.
Femme guy mode would be the way I presented.Hoop earrings,light mascara, deep red nail color and a few rings/bracelets.
Got seated next to a group of older couples on one side and two young girls on the other.
The younger ladies just looked and smiled I didn't seem to bother them how I was dressed.I did hear one say in a lowered voice I like his boots they are really cute the other said yeah they are cute.That was it no big fanfare.
The older couples never batted an eye and went on about their dinner.

[FelicityMay]

wow... you girls have inspired me! i am feeling more and more comfortable wearing womens clothing in guy clothes every day now! (not that ive done it yet, but getting close to doing so)

[STACY B]

I agree. I personally don't see why anyone would want to wear female shoes in male mode. But hey, whatever floats your boat. I think it mostly depends on where you do this. I would advise against doing it in any redneck areas unless you're just looking for a fight. It might look completely normal in California...in Arkansas and Mississippi aka "the south"...not so much.



UR AZZ !! I do it all the time ,,, Don't be Scared ,, lol,,, Just do it ,,, Go Big or Go Home !!

[Jamie001]

UR AZZ !! I do it all the time ,,, Don't be Scared ,, lol,,, Just do it ,,, Go Big or Go Home !!

Amen! Go big or go home! You can wear any shoe that you want to wear in male mode. After all, women wear masculine style shoes all of the time. It is only a big deal in your own mind.

[Avrial]

...feminine male that is content presenting as a male with feminine characteristics. Examples are myself, Sissy Stephanie, Butterfly Bill and maybe a dozen others. We are the opposite of a Tomboy and just like to express the feminine in our look but we are not trying to deceive folks into believing that we are women.

Agree completely- my dressing is to express myself as a feminine male, not female. You can add another name to that list now. :wave2:

Geneva Lake, I love the shoes in your picture... certainly something to aspire to. I'll be shopping for a pair of flats this weekend. If the shoe gods are smiling upon me, I'll be sure to post the results. For the past few years, my daily shoes are Puma Speedcat, which is a unisex style.

[Brenn]

I wear women's shoes in guy mode all the time-I'd probably count myself in the "feminine male" category. I have women's penny loafers that I wear with my suit and I wear ballet flats and mary-janes with my jeans and shorts all the time. I agree that people will and do notice, but other than an occasional strange look I have not had any issues.

Some of my shoes are:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/47135785@N04/8210404425/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/47135785@N04/8131776828/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/47135785@N04/4983908530/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/47135785@N04/4696818574/

I would love to see ballet flats become a mainstream fashion item for men. I don't expect that in my lifetime, it could become more acceptable. Things from the women's aisle I have seen become fashionable (or at least wearable) by men are: athletic tights, low-cut socks, earrings, cropped pants (capris); even pantyhose has a more prominent, but not quite accepted yet status.

[JeanneF]

I wear flat women's leather boots as a guy pretty regularly in the winter, and I have a pair of Uggs that I always wear when dog walking. My casual shoes are usually Chuck Taylors, which are pretty much unisex. No one ever even raises an eyebrow.

I think that ballet flats or heels would definitely get attention, if that's what you want then awesome, but if you're looking to completely blend then it's not going to happen. :)

[famousunknown]

UR AZZ !! I do it all the time ,,, Don't be Scared ,, lol,,, Just do it ,,, Go Big or Go Home !!

uh huh...rightttttttttttt...

[Jamie001]

I think that ballet flats or heels would definitely get attention, if that's what you want then awesome, but if you're looking to completely blend then it's not going to happen. :)

There is no fun in blending. It is simply being part of the herd; the normal severely limited male mindset.

[Jennifer in CO]

Under the category "forced to wear girls shoes", about 3 weeks ago I was rushing around the house trying to get out the door late for an appointment across town. As I'm walking out the door my wife asks me to run down to the barn and let the horses out. Got to the appointment then realized I was still wearing my barn shoes...I forgot to change them! Nice black slacks and top, and dirty ol barn shoes. Well, I had a black pair of Mary Jane's (Cross Trekkers Sport) in the trunk I hadn't taken out yet so i wore those all day. From what I could tell (and believe me I watched) not a sole paid attention to my shoes. It was fun, exhilarating and educational. Haven't worn them out since but I don't think I'll be worrisome if I have to (or want to) again.

Jenn

[Brenn]

Under the category "forced to wear girls shoes", about 3 weeks ago I was rushing around the house trying to get out the door late for an appointment across town. As I'm walking out the door my wife asks me to run down to the barn and let the horses out. Got to the appointment then realized I was still wearing my barn shoes...I forgot to change them! Nice black slacks and top, and dirty ol barn shoes. Well, I had a black pair of Mary Jane's (Cross Trekkers Sport) in the trunk I hadn't taken out yet so i wore those all day. From what I could tell (and believe me I watched) not a sole paid attention to my shoes. It was fun, exhilarating and educational. Haven't worn them out since but I don't think I'll be worrisome if I have to (or want to) again.

Jenn

I think mary-janes or flats that are "sporty" might be accepted as unisex before more feminine styles. The first pair I wore out were Skechers Bikers Sightsee mary-janes, similar to Cross Trekkers Sport that Jenn wore. I picked this shoe specifically because Skechers advertised them as "tomboy mary-janes."

[famousunknown]

I think mary-janes or flats that are "sporty" might be accepted as unisex before more feminine styles.

mary janes ? unisex ? you're kidding, right?

[Jamie001]

mary janes ? unisex ? you're kidding, right?

No, in fact Mary Janes were also worn by boys in the 1940's. If you do some research you will find this fact. We need to stop worrying about the gender of shoes and just wear what we like. Women have been doing this for years.

[STACY B]

mary janes ? unisex ? you're kidding, right?



You Worry to Much what people think an say ! You live close to me ,,Follow me around sometime ,,You will see how the Big Girls Roll ,,, Get you Some !!!

[Geneva Lake]

uh huh...rightttttttttttt...

What does that mean?? Seriously, are you just trolling this site?

[Jamie001]

To answer your question, it depends on what you are trying to achieve. If you want to go unoticed, then no. If you wear obviously female shoes, or any other clothing, it will be noticed and thought of as a man wearing female attire. If you do not care what others think then you do not need to justify it. Wear what you like. There is no law forbidding it. No one will give you any problems wearing them, and many will not even look.

It is not a big deal. Women wear men's shoes all of the time and no one cares. Just wear whatever shoes that you like, but if you wear open toe sandals, be sure that have a good pedicure with colored nail polish on your toes.

[Brenn]

No, in fact Mary Janes were also worn by boys in the 1940's. If you do some research you will find this fact. We need to stop worrying about the gender of shoes and just wear what we like. Women have been doing this for years.

Not only is Jamie correct, but even today the Scottish wear what is called a "buckle brogue" with their kilts that is essentially a "mary-jane." Additionally, what we call ballet flats today were one male-only footwear in the middle ages. The Koreans also have shoes worn today with their traditional dress that is not too dissimilar to ballet flats, worn by both men and women. I have seen men in China wearing the "kung-fu mary-janes" on occasion. If you look around, it is only here in uptight-America that there is so much fashion prejudice.

[famousunknown]

You Worry to Much what people think an say ! You live close to me ,,Follow me around sometime ,,You will see how the Big Girls Roll ,,, Get you Some !!!


How am I gonna follow you around ? are you out on parole?
Get some ? ummm, no thanks, don't need or want any....

seriously though...if that's your thing, go for it. I just can't jump on the bandwagon for female shoes in male mode.

[linda allen]

To answer your question, it depends on what you are trying to achieve. If you want to go unoticed, then no. If you wear obviously female shoes, or any other clothing, it will be noticed and thought of as a man wearing female attire. If you do not care what others think then you do not need to justify it. Wear what you like. There is no law forbidding it. No one will give you any problems wearing them, and many will not even look.

That pretty well sums it up. Reality in one paragraph. :thumbsup:

[STACY B]

How am I gonna follow you around ? are you out on parole?
Get some ? ummm, no thanks, don't need or want any....

seriously though...if that's your thing, go for it. I just can't jump on the bandwagon for female shoes in male mode.


I mean if your wearing Camo pants or shorts an heels now that's one thing ,,But if you dress kinda fem an wear NORMAL shoes that other woman would wear in that same situation you can do it when ever you want ,,, Sure if someone was to GAWK at you an look you up an down I'm sure yull get busted out ,,But if got thin skin you might want to move WAYYYYYYY To the back of the closet an stay in the safe zone ? But I like to live an let live ,,I'm the kinda person that don't pay any mind to what other people are doing an wearing unless its in my face . Like I said ,,, I am always around ,,Just come around an let me show ya how its done . As a matter of fact as soon as the store opens this morning I am going to make a run an see what today brings . So hold on to your heels Ladys ,,Its time for new pair ,, Just do what makes you happy !!

[krisinpink]

I'm happy to put in my $0.02 on this topic. I agree with much of whats been said in this thread; and would like to confirm that Mary Janes have been menswear in the not-too-distant past.

I've got an opinion and a story or two to share on this topic.

What works for me, and may for a few others of us here is this: I wear women's shoes almost exclusively. This means to work, to the mall etc. The same is true of my jeans. Having said this, I only get to do full femme every couple of weeks, so most of my life I spend blending my wardrobes. The trick IMHO is to do what others here have suggested, and that is to blend our shoes with our outfit and the situation. For instance, don't wear pumps with shorts if you're going back-packing with the guys...

We in this forum get to take advantage of the HUGE variety in women's shoes available to us, and it's great! I've got a few pair of ladies western styled boots that work well with long pants, I've got some very plain Born-brand shoes that have more than an inch of wedge heel, but are not noticed as women's and I wear them to work a couple days a week. Today I wore a pair of misses loafers with big rubber heels and make-believe buckle ornaments. I'm sitting at a coffee shop right now with my legs crossed and a great pair of flashy grey ladies western boots that blend just fine with my jeans, my shirt (drab) and belt.

In the summertime, my toes are always painted, and I wear flip flops anywhere I go --where such shoes are appropriate--. I've also got a pair of Merrill brand suede shoes with a mary jane strap that I've worn with shorts to the Home Depot a number of times without so much as a second glance. They are tan/brown and pretty subdued. Again- pick shoes that work with your outfit, and if you're going out and not trying to pass as femme, resist the urge to wear the ones with the cute bows, open toes, or ornate buckles. (We should all have these, I say just save them for those days/nights with a skirt or a dress)

Recently, I bought a GREAT pair of Clarks western-styled booties with almost 2" of heel, and have worn these many times to the mall, the pub, and the grocery store...most often with long jeans. I do have a story to share about these shoes; The last time I was at the Grocery store, the young lady who pushed my cart out to my car (this is a full-service store) did point enthusiastically at my shoes to a co-worker as he passed us in the lot while she thought I wasn't paying attention. Evidently my jeans were a little short that day, and the heels of these shoes were evident. Nothing came of this other than I smiled to myself, and the kids probably got to chat about me later in the store.

Bottom line, take advantage of the wide variety of shoes available to us now, select shoes that are situation and age appropriate, and just enjoy living! I wouldn't wear my pink bow-on-the-toe pumps to work no matter how long my jeans are, just as i wouldn't wear my blue sparkly tennis shoes with a dress.

To answer the initial question in this thread, our bow-on-the-toe flats are probably pushing it for going out in drab; that is, unless being noticed is your intention!

Happy Dressing!

-Krissy

[krisinpink]

wow! These are GREAT! LOVE 'EM!

[CynthiaD]

I wear women's shoes in guy mode all the time and nobody pays any attention. Mostly I wear a pair with a slight heel that are open enough at the top to show my pantyhose. The only negative reaction I've gotten is from a couple at a local buffet restaurant. They both burst out laughing when I walked past their table. They were both seriously overweight and dressed in clothes that looked like they came out of the rag bag. I found that I didn't much care what they thought of me.

[Jamie001]

I mean if your wearing Camo pants or shorts an heels now that's one thing ,,But if you dress kinda fem an wear NORMAL shoes that other woman would wear in that same situation you can do it when ever you want ,,, Sure if someone was to GAWK at you an look you up an down I'm sure yull get busted out ,,But if got thin skin you might want to move WAYYYYYYY To the back of the closet an stay in the safe zone ? But I like to live an let live ,,I'm the kinda person that don't pay any mind to what other people are doing an wearing unless its in my face . Like I said ,,, I am always around ,,Just come around an let me show ya how its done . As a matter of fact as soon as the store opens this morning I am going to make a run an see what today brings . So hold on to your heels Ladys ,,Its time for new pair ,, Just do what makes you happy !!

I don't understand why some folks make a big deal out of wearing women's shoes. Women wear men's shoes all of the time. I have even seen and talked with women shopping for men's shoes for themselves. Not a big deal. Why should we make a big deal of wearing women's shoes in male mode? Also, what about other folks that are out there and really look different? People with tattoos over most of their body will certainly attract more attention that wearing a pair of women's shoes, yet the folks wearing the tattoos go about their business like everyone else. They don't care if you don't like their tattoos or piercings because it is none of your business. I don't recommend violating company dress code, but when you are not at work, you can dress as you please.

[CarmenSkye]

In most situations you will look pretty strange wearing a pair of ballet flats while dressed otherwise as a male. It's not something I would do.

Agreed, there's not much justification for a male wearing ballet flats.

[Jamie001]

In most situations you will look pretty strange wearing a pair of ballet flats while dressed otherwise as a male. It's not something I would do.

It is not a big deal as I know many women that wear ballet flat while wearing blue jeans and a tee shirt. Therefore you can wear blue jeans, a tee shirt and ballet flat. I will look fine. I got a great pair of flats from Payless last week (style name Claire) and wear them with tee shirts and jeans in my normal feminine male mode.

[Jamie001]

Agreed, there's not much justification for a male wearing ballet flats.

Why do you need justification? Does a women need justification when she wears men's shoes? If we keep thinking this way, we will never obtain the fashion freedom than women obtained many years ago.

[CarmenSkye]

Why do you need justification? Does a women need justification when she wears men's shoes? If we keep thinking this way, we will never obtain the fashion freedom than women obtained many years ago.


I was agreeing with Linda and I agree with you. You're going to appear strange to others. It's up to the individual to regard what others think. There's no such thing as fashion freedom until and individual drops what society believes as normal-- you don't have to be a cross-dresser to understand that. That's how fashion trends begin in general. I was just answering the question; there is no way to make it look natural-- it'll be different--challenging it is a different question.

[Jamie001]

There's no such thing as fashion freedom until and individual drops what society believes as normal-- you don't have to be a cross-dresser to understand that. That's how fashion trends begin in general. I was just answering the question; there is no way to make it look natural-- it'll be different--challenging it is a different question.

I agree with carmenraquette that there is no such thing as fashion freedom until the individual says "to hell with what society believes is normal"! Different is good! Being different is how men started wearing earrings. Being different is how women started wearing tattoos. They just got out there and started doing it without giving a damn about what other folks thought. You can be a member of the herd (a sheepeople) by allowing other folks to define how you should dress, or you can be part of the solution by proudly getting out there and wearing women's attire in male mode. You can be part of the solution or make excuses and be part of the problem.

[linda allen]

I agree with carmenraquette that there is no such thing as fashion freedom until the individual says "to hell with what society believes is normal"! Different is good! Being different is how men started wearing earrings. Being different is how women started wearing tattoos. They just got out there and started doing it without giving a damn about what other folks thought. You can be a member of the herd (a sheepeople) by allowing other folks to define how you should dress, or you can be part of the solution by proudly getting out there and wearing women's attire in male mode. You can be part of the solution or make excuses and be part of the problem.

I really believe you are trying to promote a cause, not give helpfull advice. Sure, you would like wearing women's clothes as a male to be in fashion and if you convince enough people to do it, it will be.

In the real world it is not in fashion. Not in 2013 in the USA or the rest of the world as I know it. Wearing women's ballet flats as a male will be noticed by many people. They will think you are strange. If you don't care, that's fine. If you do care what people think of you, it's a bad idea. You will embarass your wife and family. It might affect your job or chances of promotion. If you own a business, customers may stop doing business with you. Some of your friends may no longer be your friends. This is what will happen in the real world.

Your argument that since women can wear men's shoes, men can wear women's shoes is preposterous. It just doesn't work that way. It the same as saying that since women can wear pants, men can wear skirts.

If you are going out dressed as a woman, by all means, go all the way. If you are presenting as a male, you've go to wear male clothing and shoes. No ballet flats.

[Jamie001]

In the real world it is not in fashion. Not in 2013 in the USA or the rest of the world as I know it. Wearing women's ballet flats as a male will be noticed by many people. They will think you are strange. If you don't care, that's fine. If you do care what people think of you, it's a bad idea. You will embarass your wife and family. It might affect your job or chances of promotion. If you own a business, customers may stop doing business with you. Some of your friends may no longer be your friends. This is what will happen in the real world.


The situation that you described is the normal doom and gloom situation that occurs in the HEADS of many crossdressers. Did you read another thread yesterday that folks really don't care? You will not loose friends or you job over something as insignificant as a pair of shoes! It is completely a silly notion. The reason that more crossdressers don't get out there and when what they like is because of bunk like this perpetuated on this forum. Consider folks with many tattoos or visible piercings. Do they have a really difficult time? Do they loose their jobs and all of their friends because they have chosen a fringe form of fashion expression?

[kelliT]

I went thrift shopping with a co-worker yesterday. Found a killer pair of shoes for 13 bucks, my coworker thought they were great. I instantly eyed a pair of cute boots for my wife. Couldn't find the size so I tried them on, since my wife's the same size. Perfect fit. Found out it was buy one get one free. Double awesome. Get home and see they are 10s, I tell my wife, these say tens but wouldn't be a 10 in men's, are these womens shoes? "I guess so" she replied. My wife tried them on and said she's going to have to borrow them sometime.

I looked awesome in them, go easy try women's that are maybe not so noticeable and slowly move toward the ballet shoes.

[kelliT]

Also hanging out here in different peoples closets

http://stylelikeu.com/

You'll be like hell ya, I can find my own style

[Jamie001]

If you want to read about men wearing women's shoes as men in everyday life, the visit the following site:

http://www.hhplace.org/

They don't get lynched by folks with pitchforks, they keep their jobs, and they still have their wife and families. :brolleyes:

[famousunknown]

Why do you need justification? Does a women need justification when she wears men's shoes? If we keep thinking this way, we will never obtain the fashion freedom than women obtained many years ago.

You'll never see that kind of "fashion freedom" in your lifetime...

[Jamie001]

You'll never see that kind of "fashion freedom" in your lifetime...

Yes, with that attitude you never will. The only way that we will see the fashion freedom is to get out there and wear what we want to wear. It is not illegal to wear womens shoes. As I have previously stated, women wear men's shoes all of the time. It is only a big deal in our minds. We create our own Demons and let them control us. We are either part of the solution or part of the problem.

[famousunknown]

Yes, with that attitude you never will. The only way that we will see the fashion freedom is to get out there and wear what we want to wear. It is not illegal to wear womens shoes. As I have previously stated, women wear men's shoes all of the time. It is only a big deal in our minds. We create our own Demons and let them control us. We are either part of the solution or part of the problem.

You can run the whole "women can do this and men can't" routine connected to anything on this forum. It really doesn't mean much.
No, it's not illegal. Yes, you can sure do whatever you want. But NO, the majority of society certainly isn’t required to approve of your decisions and some will voice their opinion. If you’re good with that, go for it.

[charla42]

Here in Florida I wear wedged (1 1/2 in) sandles just about all year long.

[FelicityMay]

Yes, with that attitude you never will. The only way that we will see the fashion freedom is to get out there and wear what we want to wear. It is not illegal to wear womens shoes. As I have previously stated, women wear men's shoes all of the time. It is only a big deal in our minds. We create our own Demons and let them control us. We are either part of the solution or part of the problem.

I've noticed you have a strong passion for this answer from the 18 times you have used this same argument in this thread lol. Psychology is strange, you cant convince someone to not be nervous about something, its something we all have to just decide whether we really want it and then work our way up to it. its all just a personal choice!

[STACY B]

Come onnnnnnnn ,, I love this thread ,,Lets here some more about guys wearing girl shoes ,,,My son stays on my azz about it ,, He calls me a sissy all the time ,, An I say your just jelous .. An no you can't wear them ,,, lol,,, I get it a lot !!

[Jamie001]

But NO, the majority of society certainly isn’t required to approve of your decisions and some will voice their opinion. If you’re good with that, go for it.

It is not anyone's business to voice their opinion. It is the same situation with folks that are different because they have tattoos or piercings. Do they constantly hear opinions, or do that not care about opinions? We can't allow other folks to dictate what we can and can't wear or we are giving up our freedom. Women learned this long ago.

[famousunknown]

Come onnnnnnnn ,, I love this thread ,,Lets here some more about guys wearing girl shoes ,,,My son stays on my azz about it ,, He calls me a sissy all the time ,, An I say your just jelous .. An no you can't wear them ,,, lol,,, I get it a lot !!

If you don't give a rip, I believe the Isley Brothers said it best:
"It's your thang, do whatcha wanna do". As someone else said - it's all about personal choice. It's just not a choice I personally would make.

[Jamie001]

Come onnnnnnnn ,, I love this thread ,,Lets here some more about guys wearing girl shoes ,,,My son stays on my azz about it ,, He calls me a sissy all the time ,, An I say your just jelous .. An no you can't wear them ,,, lol,,, I get it a lot !!

Tell him that you are proud to be a Sissy and proud to wear sissy shoes because they are much better looking than fugly men's shoes.

[IngeInCO]

Wasn't this about "passing off women's shoes in guy mode?" We all can choose to wear any shoes we fancy. There are boundaries of course both societal and mental. Personally I don't think most men can wear women's shoes without being noticed. I think most people wouldn't say anything, but they would notice.

Now one can wear femme clothes or shoes as a man, but one must be honest. People will know. If one is trying to make a statement... Be Proud! Don't worry about what others think and tell them why.

[FelicityMay]

i honestly think it is nice to be asked about when you are wearing female clothes while in male mode!
"why are you wearing girls shoes?"
"because i like them"
nothing else to it... heehee

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Felicity, It's mind over matter , If you don't mind than it doesn't matter !!

[Avrial]

http://i1310.photobucket.com/albums/s656/AEAx/P3161468_zpse209e588.jpg

http://i1310.photobucket.com/albums/s656/AEAx/P3161470_zps009124fc.jpg

http://i1310.photobucket.com/albums/s656/AEAx/P3161475_zps8d4afe91.jpg

Whether or not it's passing is debatable, but I don't think they're too "in your face". Rocked them through Home Depot Saturday, and no one cared. People have better things to do. These are my first pair of women's shoes, and at that time, I had owned them for all of 15 minutes. If you want to try something, just jump in and do it.

I love the look of flats and can see this becoming a regular item for me.

[FelicityMay]

Avrial,
you are my hero! i think i am going to start doing that now :D

[famousunknown]

Whether or not it's passing is debatable, but I don't think they're too "in your face". Rocked them through Home Depot Saturday, and no one cared.
I love the look of flats and can see this becoming a regular item for me.

Maybe nobody cared. But did they notice you were wearing female shoes? Yes, no question about it.
the only way you passed is if people thought you were a matador.

http://www.toroshopping.com/222-91-thickbox/bullfighting-shoes.jpg

[Avrial]

Maybe nobody cared. But did they notice you were wearing female shoes? Yes, no question about it.
the only way you passed is if people thought you were a matador.

Oh, I'm sure people noticed, no doubt about it. No one cared enough to say or do anything directly to me though. It's just not a big deal to people. I guess for the purpose of this discussion, no, I guess we can't really call them passing. I don't think a subtle flat is going to get noticed too much though. The noise and color of my bright red flip-flops probably attracts more attention.

Felicity, I like your answer of "because I like them" if someone does ask... and I really do like them. Flats looks good, and I'm not afraid to say it should the opportunity arise. Go for it, and let us know how it works out for you.

[Jamie001]

Maybe nobody cared. But did they notice you were wearing female shoes? Yes, no question about it.
the only way you passed is if people thought you were a matador.

http://www.toroshopping.com/222-91-thickbox/bullfighting-shoes.jpg

Nobody cared because it is none of their business! It really isn't any different than a person that has visible tattoos or body piercings, or anything about their appearance that is different. In fact, the shoes are much less noticeable than piercings or tattoos. Anything that is different will most likely be noticed, but it is not a big deal. We need to stop worrying about what other folks think, because to do so is to give them power over yourself. Also, the flats look very good in the pictures that Avrial posted. Much nicer looking than clunky/fugly men's shoes.

[Jennifer in CO]

my main response is "because they fit". I tell people that I have an extremely narrow foot (AAA) and to buy a mens shoe that narrow costs BIG bucks, while a nice fitting womans shoe is under $30 at Payless or under $50 dang near anywhere else.

Jenn

[Brenn]

I think there is a certain irony here in that some think it is going to be perceived as strange or weird if a guy incorporates women's shoes into his "guy" wardrobe. Yet, many CDers go out fully dressed--and I'm sorry but very few can pull off passing--with the intent to deceive people into thinking they are women, but are probably just as likely to be "made" as someone noticing a guy in ballet flats. Is that any less strange or weird? I know that most CDers don't think of it as deception, but that it is often how it is perceived.

[Jamie001]

I think there is a certain irony here in that some think it is going to be perceived as strange or weird if a guy incorporates women's shoes into his "guy" wardrobe. Yet, many CDers go out fully dressed--and I'm sorry but very few can pull off passing--with the intent to deceive people into thinking they are women, but are probably just as likely to be "made" as someone noticing a guy in ballet flats. Is that any less strange or weird? I know that most CDers don't think of it as deception, but that it is often how it is perceived.

Yes, that is the issue. Most folks are not going to notice the guy wearing women's shoes, and if they do, they will just assume that he likes women's shoes and is the male equivalent of a Tomboy. On the other hand, they will be much more confused by the CD that doesn't pass.

[barbie lanai]

I bought a pair of these at Kmart for my wife. She really loved them and I had to get her another pair, but in black. After all her telling me how comfortable they were, I decided to try a pair for myself. Online only $15. $30 in the store. I've been wearing them in drab a couple days now. Think I'll be ordering a pair in black for myself as well. With jeans they just look like cowboy boots. But the heel is higher than any cowboy boots I've worn. So definitely lets you know you are in women's heels. They feel better with nylons, but that's a bit much for me in guy mode, so I just wear black nylon men's dress socks. Frankly they are almost too high for me for outside use. But I'm certain with some practice I'll get used to walking over rough rocks, sand, and slopes. Normally all I do is walk from the bedroom to living room on carpet.

http://www.kmart.com/shc/s/p_10151_10104_035VA49728801P?lid=TECORDER1&rioptype=KC&sid=IEx20130320TransKmartShipConf

[sherib]

I sometimes wear my Ballet shoes around the yard and many times to the store. I would say 95% of the time no one notice.

[Jamie001]

I sometimes wear my Ballet shoes around the yard and many times to the store. I would say 95% of the time no one notice.

People notice, but they just don't care. Why would they care what shoes you are wearing? If you think logically about it; it doesn't even make sense.

[Geneva Lake]

Great look, Avrial! I do it all the time. Be yourself. Wear what you love!

[STACY B]

I wear these all the time ,, An never get any grief . Got some more in a different on order ,, All depends on what they are an what they look like ? So don't hide your fancy
Sandals wear um an show um to the world ,, LOL,,, I do !!200302

[famousunknown]

People notice, but they just don't care. Why would they care what shoes you are wearing? If you think logically about it; it doesn't even make sense.

It’s not that wise to make a general statement like this. No, some people just don’t care. But yes, some people do pay attention, and they have zero problem getting in your face about it. Is it their business? NO, but has that ever stopped loud-mouthed bozos? A lot of it depends on where you live and where you go. Whether you agree/disagree, whether it’s right/wrong, whether it’s fair/unfair, doesn’t matter in real life. It will never be generally socially acceptable for a male to wear women’s clothing/shoes in public. Please live your life however you want to live it.

[Jamie001]

It’s not that wise to make a general statement like this. No, some people just don’t care. But yes, some people do pay attention, and they have zero problem getting in your face about it. Is it their business? NO, but has that ever stopped loud-mouthed bozos? A lot of it depends on where you live and where you go. Whether you agree/disagree, whether it’s right/wrong, whether it’s fair/unfair, doesn’t matter in real life. It will never be generally socially acceptable for a male to wear women’s clothing/shoes in public. Please live your life however you want to live it.

Did you read my other comments about other folks that just don't fit the norm? For example, a person that is covered in tattoos or piercings. Folks don't get into the face of someone that has a lot of tats or piercings. Wearing women's shoes is much less noticeable. Did you realize that tattoos were originally only worn by men, and that back in the 1950's and 1960's earrings were only worn by women. Why has this change in the year 2000? The reason the change occurred is because women just got out there and wore tattoos and men got out there and wore earrings. That is how change is effected. If anyone got into these folks faces, what do you suppose they did? They told them to mind their own business. No one has the right to criticize anyone's appearance regardless of what they are wearing as long as it's covers the appropriate body parts. It is none of their business. Anyone who is in the minority will may need to stand-up for what they believe. Women did this long ago. When they first started wearing pants, people called them lesbians but they dealt with it. I also remember men being called gay for wearing earrings, but guess what, they kept on wearing earrings and now a lot of men wear earrings.

If you don't get out there and wear what you want to wear as a male, then change will never happen. I suggest that you go over to http://www.hhplace.org and read how men successfully wear high-heels as men. In the end it is just shoes and it doesn't matter if they are women's. When someone asks me if I'm wearing women's shoes, I respond "no, they are my shoes".

[famousunknown]

Did you read my other comments about other folks that just don't fit the norm? For example, a person that is covered in tattoos or piercings. Folks don't get into the face of someone that has a lot of tats or piercings. Wearing women's shoes is much less noticeable.

Your tattoo/piercing analogy really doesn't work in this case, as it's not the same thing. It really does matter what people do. But that doesn't mean you aren't free to do what you want.

[linda allen]

Did you read my other comments about other folks that just don't fit the norm? ..............

Jamie, perhaps in your world men can prance around in women's shoes, etc. without reprecussions, but some of us have families and careers to think about. We don't want to hurt or embarass our families and we don't want to hurt our careers by "not fitting the norm". Now if we decide to go where nobody is likely to know and recognize us, prancing around in women's shoes or even 100% dressed as a female is just fine.

I believe our choice not to wear women's ballet flats in male mode is just as valid as your choice to wear them. It's an individual decision based on personal circumstances. I hope you can at least agree with that.

[Jamie001]

Jamie, perhaps in your world men can prance around in women's shoes, etc. without reprecussions, but some of us have families and careers to think about. We don't want to hurt or embarass our families and we don't want to hurt our careers by "not fitting the norm". Now if we decide to go where nobody is likely to know and recognize us, prancing around in women's shoes or even 100% dressed as a female is just fine.

I believe our choice not to wear women's ballet flats in male mode is just as valid as your choice to wear them. It's an individual decision based on personal circumstances. I hope you can at least agree with that.

I understand your point of view, however, the only way that change is ever affected is by not fitting the norm. It is only shoes, a very trivial thing that doesn't make you a criminal or a bad person. I have learned in the past several years that there is a very big difference between myself (feminine male) and the average full-on crossdresser. For me, it is all about incorporating women's items in my normal feminine male look without attempting to emulate or pass as a woman. Essentially, I'm like the opposite of a Tomboy and I believe the term that has been used on this forum is "JaneGirl". I realize the most full-on crossdressers are extremely closeted in their everyday lives to the point that some of them even hide their secret from their wives and other loved-ones because of their fear of rejection. I am beginning to realize that a full-on crossdresser will be judged much more severely by society and loved-ones as compared to a male that just like to incorporate feminine items while presenting as a male. Most full-on crossdressers that are closeted are extremely concerned about wearing feminine in male mode that may insinuate that they are possibly a crossdresser. They don't want anything to tip their hand because if someone sees one feminine thing than they feel that everything may be exposed. I believe the reason for this concern stems from the thought process that if they are seen wearing a feminine item, folks may start thinking that they may be a full-on crossdresser that attempt to emulate a woman and since they are so closeted to friends and coworkers this is the last thing that they want to happen. I have come to realize that there are a lot more consequences to a person that is discovered as a full-on crossdresser as compared to a feminine male that just like to incorporate some feminine items into their male presentation. There difference in consequences regarding being discovered as a full-on crossdresser that emulates a woman as compared to a feminine male is huge!! A feminine male is not a big deal and is just like a Tomboy, however a full-on crossdresser is analogous to a women that puts on a fake beard/mustache and stuffs a sock in her pants. I didn't understand this concept in the beginning but I am now beginning to understand why the closeted crossdresser that fully emulates a woman may not want to be exposed because they may be judged severely as compared to a feminine male.

[TNRobin]

I wear Skechers all of the time. Not exactly super feminine, but I like them, though I have to find them in a wide size.

Due to my own physical constraints I cannot wear heels, at least not anything more than 2" tops and they can't be pointy at that. :(

[Brenn]

I understand your point of view, however, the only way that change is ever affected is by not fitting the norm. It is only shoes, a very trivial thing that doesn't make you a criminal or a bad person. I have learned in the past several years that there is a very big difference between myself (feminine male) and the average full-on crossdresser. For me, it is all about incorporating women's items in my normal feminine male look without attempting to emulate or pass as a woman. Essentially, I'm like the opposite of a Tomboy and I believe the term that has been used on this forum is "JaneGirl". I realize the most full-on crossdressers are extremely closeted in their everyday lives to the point that some of them even hide their secret from their wives and other loved-ones because of their fear of rejection. I am beginning to realize that a full-on crossdresser will be judged much more severely by society and loved-ones as compared to a male that just like to incorporate feminine items while presenting as a male. Most full-on crossdressers that are closeted are extremely concerned about wearing feminine in male mode that may insinuate that they are possibly a crossdresser. They don't want anything to tip their hand because if someone sees one feminine thing than they feel that everything may be exposed. I believe the reason for this concern stems from the thought process that if they are seen wearing a feminine item, folks may start thinking that they may be a full-on crossdresser that attempt to emulate a woman and since they are so closeted to friends and coworkers this is the last thing that they want to happen. I have come to realize that there are a lot more consequences to a person that is discovered as a full-on crossdresser as compared to a feminine male that just like to incorporate some feminine items into their male presentation. There difference in consequences regarding being discovered as a full-on crossdresser that emulates a woman as compared to a feminine male is huge!! A feminine male is not a big deal and is just like a Tomboy, however a full-on crossdresser is analogous to a women that puts on a fake beard/mustache and stuffs a sock in her pants. I didn't understand this concept in the beginning but I am now beginning to understand why the closeted crossdresser that fully emulates a woman may not want to be exposed because they may be judged severely as compared to a feminine male.

Well said Jamie.

[Avrial]

Jamie, excellent post. You brought up some very good points.

I'm in the same boat as you as feminine male. For me, and I assume many of us, there's no such thing as fully dressed. My feminine things don't stay in the closet for special occasions; it's who I am every day. Everyone knows and expects that my presentation will be feminine... and not just appearance, but also personality and mannerisms. It's not possible for me to be exposed as anything that I don't already openly share. I have nothing to lose by wearing a pair of shoes.

This is in very stark contrast to those who have significantly different masculine and feminine modes and do believe they have something to lose by being questioned.


I suppose this is getting pretty far off the original topic though at this point...


For the purpose of the original discussion, I truly believe that a completely plain pair of black flats could pass if dressed accordingly.

[Geneva Lake]

"I'm in the same boat as you as feminine male. For me, and I assume many of us, there's no such thing as fully dressed. My feminine things don't stay in the closet for special occasions; it's who I am every day. Everyone knows and expects that my presentation will be feminine... and not just appearance, but also personality and mannerisms. It's not possible for me to be exposed as anything that I don't already openly share. I have nothing to lose by wearing a pair of shoes."

Bravo for that wonderful post, Avrial!!! Indeed, my "feminine" things are part of everyday life. I admit there are two schools of thought presented in this thread. In one, we wear what we like as part of our true selves. That's me. ... Others, it seems, feel they must to go fully dressed in wigs, makeup, dresses, lipstick, stockings and heels ... just to wear an earring. It is they who are prisoners of society, IMO.

I think younger CDs - me included - just wear what they like in "guy mode" or whatever. Of course, I wear nice shoes 24/7. Luv it.

[FelicityMay]

I definitely enjoy womens shoes more than mens... but since i havnt gotten used to shamelessly wear whatever i want in public yet, the nerves would make it not even worth it.

It could take some time, but eventually i will get over it and start going out with completely femme shoes

[Brenn]

I definitely enjoy womens shoes more than mens... but since i havnt gotten used to shamelessly wear whatever i want in public yet, the nerves would make it not even worth it.

It could take some time, but eventually i will get over it and start going out with completely femme shoes

You have to be comfortable in your own skin and take it at whatever pace is comfortable to you. I stated off wearing Keds, but now days some unisex looking Skechers or women's running shoes are a good place to start.

[Geneva Lake]

I love your avatar photo, Felicity!!

[Jamie001]

"I'm in the same boat as you as feminine male. For me, and I assume many of us, there's no such thing as fully dressed. My feminine things don't stay in the closet for special occasions; it's who I am every day. Everyone knows and expects that my presentation will be feminine... and not just appearance, but also personality and mannerisms. It's not possible for me to be exposed as anything that I don't already openly share. I have nothing to lose by wearing a pair of shoes."

Bravo for that wonderful post, Avrial!!! Indeed, my "feminine" things are part of everyday life. I admit there are two schools of thought presented in this thread. In one, we wear what we like as part of our true selves. That's me. ... Others, it seems, feel they must to go fully dressed in wigs, makeup, dresses, lipstick, stockings and heels ... just to wear an earring. It is they who are prisoners of society, IMO.

I think younger CDs - me included - just wear what they like in "guy mode" or whatever. Of course, I wear nice shoes 24/7. Luv it.

Geneva and Avrial, It is always wonderful to hear from two more feminine males like myself. I first started wearing women's sandals years ago and since I live in a warm climate, my feet are on display in women's sandals almost everyday. After I started wearing women's sandals I went to a nail appointment and my nail technician suggested that since I wear obviously feminine women's sandals, I should wear bright red nail polish on my toenails like a woman. I have been getting pedicures every two weeks and wearing red polish on my toenails ever since that day. It is one of my signature looks. My friends and family expect to see me wearing women's sandals, red toenails, a femme hairstyle and carrying a women's purse and bright red women's wallet. When people meet me for the first time and see my women's sandals and sassy red toenails, they know that I have a very strong feminine side and I am not afraid to express the woman within me. I was in a beauty supply yesterday the the clerk noticed by high-heel sandals and told me that she loved them and wanted to know where I purchased them. I get a lot of compliments from women on my shoes and for the most part, men just ignore them. The great thing about this situation is that I don't have fear about wearing any style of shoe and will even wear extremely feminine strappy high-heel sandals with rhinestones and other adornments. These types of sandals with the red toenails just scream feminine, but the wonderful thing is that it is normal for me and therefore I don't feel out of place.

I agree that the majority of the crossdressers here on this forum are prisoners of society by having two distinct modes of 100 percent masculine or 100 percent feminine. They are binary like a light switch and are usually very worried about anything feminine being exposed because they are worried about being exposed as a crossdresser. Being a feminine male has so much more advantages because you don't need to hide and you can't talk women's fashion with other women. Also, one of the most fun things is to go shoe shopping and to nail appointments with GG friends. Being a feminine male is so much better for me than living my life worrying about being discovered as a crossdresser, because in my case there is nothing to discover.

[Geneva Lake]

Hi Jamie! I wish I could hit "like" a hundred times on your post. And I wish I could see your shoes! :)

[FelicityMay]

I love your avatar photo, Felicity!!

Thank you! :) it means a lot...
i actually really like yours too

I love seeing pictures of all the girls here! its so much more interesting when you can see the people you are talking to, especially when they are posting pictures of clothes and shoes they are talking about

[StephanieJ]

I wear these to work all the time. Only had one negative comment so far...

[RachelPortugal]

For many years most of my flip-flops, sandals, sneakers and clogs/mules have been "for women" and no one has ever commented about it to me. So recently I went out to town in my ballet flats. Picked up a prescription from my doctors, popped into a supermarket for some bread, went to the ATM at my bank and then to the pharmacy. Did not notice any reactions.

I think that as crossdressers we have a fixation about women's shoes so we tend to notice what women are wearing, whereas most people don't notice what others are wearing on their feet.

[Jamie001]

I wear these to work all the time. Only had one negative comment so far...

Those are nice shoes but they really don't look feminine. They look more like Doc Martins.

[crazybiker]

I think I agree with Nomad-Rachael, and I had flats in my room that I wore on and off, more during the evening more recently and my gf's brother never noticed them, or even when my pants would move and show the tops of my feet. It was t until I told him I was girly that he notices all the time now.

[JenX]

I have totally rocked peep toe flats with women's jeans and top (in guy mode).

[ThiHi]

We should all choose to wear what we'r emost comfortable in. Me, my go to shoes are Keen MJs. SO comfy. Not stealth at all.
http://www.zappos.com/keen-harvest-mj-pink-stripe

I also have some other very femme shoes I wear. First time out? Yep, nervous. But now, I don't even think about it. I do get questions now and then, usually kids ;-) "Are those ladies shoes?" "They're my shoes." is my usual answer. I've had some very macho guys tell me they wish they had the guts to dress as I do. Too funny.

Anyway, it is about choice. I'm not wearing skirts in public every day, yet. But I do present pretty femme, I guess. I'm just not part of the gender binary apparently. My wife is very accepting, we do shop together sometimes which is GREAT. Oh, I'm also not a 'young' person, in my 50s, an din the public eye all the time. My shoes and general demeanor do seem to upset some people, but no major issues yet.

[Jamie001]

Oh, I'm also not a 'young' person, in my 50s, an din the public eye all the time. My shoes and general demeanor do seem to upset some people, but no major issues yet.

If shoes upset some people, then those people have some major issues and need to seek help.

[IngeInCO]

Here's one angle

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?192513-Guy-in-mary-janes

[ThiHi]

If shoes upset some people, then those people have some major issues and need to seek help.

We all have our paths to walk. As long as they mean me no harm, they're free to travel however they need to.