Ex's Clothes

[Amie Marie]

When my ex took off she left some stuff behind. Finally getting around to doing an extra house purge/spring cleaning and I came across a nice dress she left. It's a nice semi-formal dress and I already have a pair of heels that would look great with it :battingeyelashes:. It don't fit her anymore, she knows nothing about Amie Marie, and she doesn't even know it's here. I am leaning towards hiding it and keeping it for myself. Is this something I should do because the guy in me wants me to wear it.

[Vanessa5]

Why would you have to hide it if she left? Do you want to hide it from her or others in your house? I guess the somewhat correct thing to do is to inform her that she left some things and ask if she wanted them back. If not then wear it and show us some pics.

[Jordan]

I say go for it if she hasn't missed it yet and if it don't fit her she wont even remember

[Kalista Jameson]

Gets back to simple ethics I think. You know it's there and you know it's hers. I'd casually let her know it's there and if she wants it or if should you send it out to Goodwill or wherever. If she wants it, then you know you did right by telling her. If not, you've got a guilt free addition to your wardrobe.

If she found something of yours, wouldn't you want her to do the same? I assume you are both on cordial terms and can at least talk, if not, then that needs to be considered as well. Only you know that. In general, I think honestly is always best policy.

Cheers,

Kalista

[kimdl93]

Is in your home, so it's yours.

[Jenni Yumiko]

How long has this ex been an ex. Usually an e. will leave things purposely as a means to come back for it and see you again.

[flatlander_48]

Whether it's the law or not, Possession = 9/10...

[olivia.tanner]

Gets back to simple ethics I think. You know it's there and you know it's hers. I'd casually let her know it's there and if she wants it or if should you send it out to Goodwill or wherever. If she wants it, then you know you did right by telling her. If not, you've got a guilt free addition to your wardrobe.

If she found something of yours, wouldn't you want her to do the same? I assume you are both on cordial terms and can at least talk, if not, then that needs to be considered as well. Only you know that. In general, I think honestly is always best policy.

Cheers,

Kalista

i could not have said it better, i have come to believe in Karma in recent years and when you do a good deed, good shall come back to you... in this case i hope you get the dress. :)

[Amie Marie]

Why would you have to hide it if she left? Do you want to hide it from her or others in your house? I guess the somewhat correct thing to do is to inform her that she left some things and ask if she wanted them back. If not then wear it and show us some pics.

My teenage daughter lives with me so all my stuff is hidden because of her.

[Amie Marie]

How long has this ex been an ex. Usually an e. will leave things purposely as a means to come back for it and see you again.

She has been an ex for 4 years and yes she left stuff behind just for that reason. I have however tried to give her other things before and she either leaves it again or just complains that Im "kicking" her out. She's a little coocoo

[jessbcuzz]

If the shoe was on the other foot and you left something at her place, wouldn't you want her to tell you that you left something? if you really like it, see if you can find the same one!

[Angie G]

If it don't fit her what is she going to do with it.:hugs:
Angie

[Amie Marie]

If the shoe was on the other foot and you left something at her place, wouldn't you want her to tell you that you left something? if you really like it, see if you can find the same one!

I understand what you are saying and i thank you for your thoughts.

Something that I didn't say in the original post is she did come in and took a bunch of her stuff while i was gone, just my daughter here. she didn't take it then.

[Diversity]

The right thing to do would be to let her know about the dress and ask if she would like it returned to her - especially if you both parted on good terms and want to remain friends.
If, however, you both left on bad terms, then I'd say go for it. She left. She didn't take it with her, so it most likely was not that important to her, or it may have brought back a few memories which she would rather forget.
Di

[Gretchen_To_Be]

Did she know you were a CD? If she did, maybe she left it for you. If not, maybe she suspected and is testing you?

[Amie Marie]

Did she know you were a CD? If she did, maybe she left it for you. If not, maybe she suspected and is testing you?

She has no idea Im a cd so it wasn't for that.

[Gretchen_To_Be]

If she left you, consider it revenge and your just spoils, and imagine yourself looking better in it than she did (or maybe you do look better, so good on you). If you left her, then she probably wants back in the relationship, so I'd send it to her with a pic of you wearing it (and looking better in it). I bet she doesn't call you anymore, because she'll think you are Kookoo. Of course, there could be a downside...if she outs you to everyone including your daughter, so maybe that's not such a good plan. Sorry, I've had a few drinks tonight.

[docrobbysherry]

I can't speak for u or your ex, Amie. But, I faced a similar situation with my ex. When she moved in, she was one hot, slim babe. Some of her old outfits reflected her work back then. As a sexy Las Vegas casino girl.

When she left me, she left a number of those hot old outfits behind. Because she'd never fit in them again. Even tho I'm 5" taller, I squeezed into some of those spandex dresses! If she ever wants them back, she can have them.

But, I'm not my pictures in them! Ha ha!

[wantstocrossdress]

how long was she gone? if its been a month then id keep her stuff for myself

the last time my ex and i met she lent me a wig she was not using and some stockings. i should have taken more of the hosiery as a few days later we broke up.

[Chickhe]

After four years!...I would call it fair game.

[PaulaQ]

finders keepers.

[mikiSJ]

Technically (I am not a lawyer and my advice is worth $0.05) she abandoned the dress - keep it, wear it, toss it, donate it...put it in a plastic bag and wait for her to call asking you where it is!

When she left for the last time, did she glance back, or just keep walking - I would probably use that as the yardstick for determining whether to keep the dress, or not!

[Angela Campbell]

I would ask her if she wants it or not and tell her you were cleaning out the place. If she wants it return it to her. I wouldn't have waited 4 years to do it though. After that much time I wouldn't contact her as it will just start her thinking about you again and start something you may not want.

[Lisa Gerrie]

How equitable was the property division? Surely you ended up with many things that were bought with joint funds during the marriage, and so did she. I don't see any ethical difference between a dress and any other household item to be divided up. (Unless the dress had sentimental value or something.)

[Beverley Sims]

I see no reason to hide it, is she going to see you wearing it?

[MsJanessa]

Well maybe you can include the dress in your share of the property settlement--lol. Seriously, if she left it there 4 years ago I wouldn't worry at all about it. Wear it to your heart's content

[Tara D. Rose]

Yes, put it on and wear it. That's what I would do. She left it behind and I'm sure she doesn't miss it at all.

[Tracii G]

When my ex skipped out I changed the locks the next day so she isn't getting back in.

[Billie1]

my ex took off

she left some stuff behind.




And the question is . . . ?
Maybe because my divorce was not a nice thing, (cheated on, lied to, stolen from, etc) the only quandry I would face would be if I would get all dolled up, in my very best Billie mode, and wear it in front of her, or not!
:D

Maybe even some new shoes.

She's gone. It's not.
Time to move forward.

[BOBBI G.]

Mine did the same thing, took everthing she wanted, and left in a semi trailor, leaving me a raped house and all the stuff she really didn't want. I held her stuff and told her to make a list of anything she missed and I would get it to her, which I did. My divorce was uncontested, me getting the house and all its debts with any and everything left there. She had a year and a half to get the stuff and my attorney said it all was mine as I saw to do with.

After going through 18 bags of clothes, Salvation Army ended up with 16, and now has gotten the rest as I replaced items with my own. But the first thing I did after she left was change the locks, so she couldn't have free reign on the place while I was out of the house. I had no one in the house, but had I, I would have let them know under no circumstances was she to come in, unless I was there and a law officer was present ( my attorneys instructions).

We are now, after three years, on speaking terms, not seeing terms, and the stuff is never mentioned.

Bobbi

[Amie Marie]

thank you everyone for your help I appreciate it. I got the dress out of the bag last night to try it on to see how it fits just to find out it has a big hole in the side. I hollered at my daughter to ask her who dress it was. She said it was her mothers and has a big hole in the side do to her big butt. All I could do was laugh, and be a little disappointed. Well I guess she gets the dress back.

[sonna]

shes your ex she left it ..... it yours

[~Joanne~]

complains that Im "kicking" her out.

Um, maybe it's just me but that's exactly what your doing and rightfully so. She's been an ex for 4 years, she kicked her self out long ago. Box everything up and tell her it's on the porch, come and get it or goodwill gets it in X number of days.

Try the dress and take pics first though ;)