Cis-gendered male sexuality and the transsexual woman

[KellyJameson]

For those who identify as female regardless of state of transition but absolutely believe they are woman, I have a question.

As a WOMAN how do you FEEL about male sexuality as a whole.

Not heterosexuality versus homosexuality but as a woman in relationship to ALL male sexual behavior.

This is not about your sexuality but your gender in relationship to male sexuality so your answers may not reflect your own sexuality.

Suspend your own sexuality but instead imagine you are sitting at a table with other woman talking about men as sexual beings.

What would you say to these other woman?

I want to know how you feel, so use emotional words.

Not technical,logical or rational. There is no right or wrong answer and this is not a test. The answers do not have to be nice or politically correct.

I'm looking for how you feel at the deepest parts of your core about "male sexuality"

Answer how you feel and not because of how you see others answer.

Do not be influenced by others.

Answer from the heart and forget about what others may think.

If everyone can do this honestly I think it may be very enlightening.

Remember you are a WOMAN in relationship to all men as sexual beings.

You as a singular person in relationship to all men. This is key.

Close your eyes and really imagine it and see where it takes you and than share if you would.

Lets have a conversation about male sexuality as WOMAN and see where it goes.

[Aprilrain]

Hmm? Well, when my girlfriends and I talk about a mans sex it's usually pretty straight forward, like size, shape other pleasing features, any quirky behaviors and how good (or not good) the sex is (was), Other than that we usually just talk about the relationship more than the sex. I have noticed that woman my age or younger who aren't married will talk pretty freely about sex, like what actually happened during sex, In my experience this is a departure from the way males talk about sex with each other but I digress. Anyway, back to your point I guess I'm not exactly sure what your getting at? How do I feel about men as sexual beings? I don't usually think about men I don't find attractive so if I'm thinking about a man or just sex in general I'm thinking about someone I'd want to have sex with, in which case I usually get myself turned on:o

[Angela Campbell]

I do not like men at all. Not interested in them. Have no use for them, a little scared of them. I think most men are mean, pushy, and disgusting.

[ChelseaErtel]

I dream as a woman. I've had sexual relations as a woman with a man in my dreams. I can imagine that if I had not been "acting" male all of my life, I would welcome a man's advance after transition. But, since I have lived 52 years and and attempted (poorly by the way) to behave sexually male I can't see myself having any sexual relations again. Too confusing for me, too much confusion for any partner being TS so no thank you. I love the look of a woman's body, but in a "oh I wish I could look that good." I have imagined what it would be to kiss an attractive man, as a woman, but that is all. Those thoughts until very recently have been buried.

I am attracted to men to a degree based on recent investigation into my sexuality, but only as a woman. I hate my penis, but find the thought of another's not unappealing. My dreams have been pleasant and left me feeling loved. I love when men open doors for me and treat me like a lady. I think a man who is caring and thoughtful would be nice. As a sexual being, the get it done and over with aspect is not appealing. Men are very visual and I don't think they'd be turned on my me in any case, certainly not naked (after transition). And age has a lot to do with it, things slow down as you get older and get less demanding.

In my latest dream involving men, I was on a date (I think, you know how dreams are) and we were eating dinner, walking and sometimes holding hands. I told my date I was TS and not transitioned, but he said it's what's on the inside that counts to him so he was fine with that. All I remember after that was a good night, quick kiss. I awoke quite content until I realized I was back in reality.

When exploring my own sexuality I found I was aroused by the thought of being a woman performing acts on a male member, and some other things. After all to men it is all about their naughty bits. But, for me it comes down to my previous life as a man, and my accepting that I am a woman and my internal conflict with what was and what is. I know I'd like to be caressed and treated tenderly, but it's not to be. Too much confusion. Things may change, who knows, I've yet to start HRT and my feelings may come into better focus. But oh how I worry about my wife. Its very hard on her.

[kellycan27]

How can this question be addressed without taking our own sexuality into account?

[Aprilrain]

I do not like men at all. Not interested in them. Have no use for them, a little scared of them. I think most men are mean, pushy, and disgusting.

Misandry much? Imagine if a man said the same thing about a woman here what do you think we'd do to him? tear him a new one perhaps?

[Rianna Humble]

I'm afraid that for me, your question makes no sense. You cannot divorce the question of men as sexual beings from personal sexuality.

When I am with my closest friends discussing anything like potential partners, men never enter into the equation.

[KellyJameson]

My sexuality has occupied my thoughts much of my life as much of this all encompassing obsession with gender and sexuality has.

The whole perspective to life changes when you realize that your brain and mind is female and always has been so you have been relating to everything from this perspective without realizing it until you completely accept that you are female.

There are many "Aha" moments like small epiphanies where much of past behavior made no sense until you realize that you were always relating as female even when you did not realize it.

Up until the point I had this realization I was really quit sure I was insane because nothing made any sense because everything was backwards because I was outside of everything.

I have always been puzzeled by how I viewed men as separate from me as a "group" so they were outside of me and I was not related to them. I really did experience men as foreign like they were some other species.

I did not fear their violence so much as reacting to their "foreigness" or "strangeness" as different. It is a very soft hidden feeling. It is not dislike or fear but something else.

I also did not trust male sexuality and viewed it as potentially dangerous but did not know why.

I did think that I must have misandry feelings toward men but yet misandry did not quit feel right because I am not prone to making these types of judgements toward groups of people regardless of catagory.

I do not naturally dislike whole groups of people so was confused why I felt uneasy with men and always have, yet I'm also strongly drawn to the energy in certain men which added to sexual confusion.

My whole relationship and attitude toward men has profoundly been changed by the realization and acceptance of what I am.

I see now how my female brain sensed men as different so dangerous and their sexuality is completely opposite my own as an ENERGY.

Once I understood what I am I was than able to understand men. It was like a whole universe of understanding opened up to me where I was blocked from this understanding before.

This has also happened in my relationships with woman. My relationships with men and women now make sense from the perspective of being female brained.

I suppose that I am absolutely stunned by how not being aligned with your body impacts every facet of your life.

The dichotomy of a female brain not aligned with the body touches every single aspect of a persons life and "twists" the persons perception of reality.

You basically cannot understand reality until you completely see the ramifications and this is largely dependant on living in the world as a woman.

Your whole life story becomes rewritten now from this new perspective.

I see why the real life experience is so important. This gives your mind time to catch up with reality.

[Angela Campbell]

Misandry much? Imagine if a man said the same thing about a woman here what do you think we'd do to him? tear him a new one perhaps?

Well I was never beat up or made fun of by any girls.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

yes but there are girls that beat up and make fun of other girls...in fact making fun of other girls is serious stuff...

and of course i feel silly to say it, but i will, all men do not beat up and make fun of people..

[kellycan27]

I do not like men at all. Not interested in them. Have no use for them, a little scared of them. I think most men are mean, pushy, and disgusting.

We can't judge all men because of the actions of a few. Just as we don't want to be judged by the action of others

[Beth-Lock]

My sexual orientation changed about the time my sex changed but am not quite sure about men, though I do accept them as logical to date instead of women. Nonetheless, any relationship with a man would have to be very egalitarian since I won't take much from them if they assume they can treat me that way because I am a woman.
Recently, a major concern has made itself felt. I fear problems in my transition including being denied HRT at the crucial window extending a year or two, during transition, may have left the sexuality part of my (female) persona badly damaged and needing years of expensive therapy I don't think I can afford.

[noeleena]

Hi,

men. Hmmm. Post 8

you can not understand realitly till youv lived in the real world of women.
...& your life becomes rewriten,
...& you see why its importaint to live in a real life liveing experance,

Okay since im a female from birth i would have to say from age 10 till now would be enough 55 years, even though im intersexed, it changes nothing .

My life does not need to be rewriten from what to what, my life is my life ,& iv never been out side of the real womens world
Plus its been going on all of my life, you see i did not transition or have i changed, , yes there are changes that go on during your life as you grow & yes i have grown as a woman or into a woman , i sure cant change how im wired or change my mind or change what i knew going back over my life, so yes im a little different,

This sexuality of men, im struggling with that because im not or ever was male, & as well how my Mother & i were treated puts me in a total those bloody men in thier attitude concerning women & how we have & are treated, does nothing for me except to say a total distrust & very anti men ,

Yes rape being strangled to the point of being killed, the rage temper strength you'd have no idear till youv seen it & have the marks to show, had Mom been killed i would have as well. so i know what its about is it any wonder im like i am, & its not something i can just forget, those scars mark you for life, both body wise & Psychologically & Emotionally.

I see something in men i have never liked hate is more the word i did not know men were like this i found out yet my first 6 -7 years of life were blocked a mind blank my brain woke up at age 10 i dont know what happened only what Mom told me & yes did tell Jos a few details,

Even though i have no memory of then i know things went on its so buryed, there was one detail that effected me , if any one came near me & went to put thier hands near or around my neck / throat my hands were up so fast to shield my neck / throut something i did not fully understand, this was when i was very young till some 40 odd years later,so my defence mechinism was real quick .

Im not saying all men are like this its just our experance ,

All though my life i have never related to or with men, allthough as iv grown as a woman i seem to be getting along better with them. i wont say all there are a few that treat me well & respect me as a woman. & yes will look out for me,

Sexualy , dont touch me dont even think it, iv had to deal with two situations so they were told in no unsertian terms
so i know what its like . Iv allso had to help out other women in similar situations so first hand & other women ,

so you wont real life im in it & have been all my life,

...noeleena...

[Paula_56]

I do not like men at all. Not interested in them. Have no use for them, a little scared of them. I think most men are mean, pushy, and disgusting.

This is why I resigned!!!!!!!!!!!lol

[groove67]

I for one during tansition and very passable find myself more and more attracted to men all the time. I love having doors open for me and just over all being treated like a lady. I have feeling now that i never knew i could have.

[Jessinthesprings]

What a loaded question. There are so many factors to take into account. Your own sexuality, age, situation, comfort in your own indentity, and of course you have to take into account the physical and the emotional.

I have found myself in the situation of talking to other women about men. And, I found it difficult to respond. While still attracted to men I find myself more so to women. With that said. I like how men take control. They lead, and can make you feel desireable. And, of course making one feel like a lady. I hope I am not way off track here.