how to approach wife?

[rickyjoe1978]

Wondering if there are better ways to approach wife/gf about dressing? im shocked my gf doesnt relize i wear her cloths i even have left her bra hooked and nothing.. anyways Im not sure i really want her to know but would like to hear others stories? and maybe story how to get to subject of wanting to meet other cds? thanks

[Gretchen_To_Be]

I just came out and told her. Of course it took 12 years...

[mikiSJ]

im shocked my gf doesnt relize i wear her cloths

You may want to rethink your statement!

As for telling your Spouse/SO/GF; there is no correct/easy/simple/quick/painless way. Sometimes the right time appears and it just seems right. Sometimes the time never happens. Sometimes we are forced into a situation where it is totally uncomfortable.

Good luck!

[Dana3]

Its been my general experince in all things in life? When you thinkyou're fooling someone? Your only fooling yourself. She knows, she just hasn't said anything or approached you about it yet!

[Amy A]

Firstly, it would be better to get some cloths of your own; wearing hers without her permission isn't fair, and I'm pretty sure that it will eventually lead to her finding out in a less than ideal way, if she doesn't already know of course.

I told my girlfriend last year, and I did so the way people advised me to on this forum eg in person, armed with information, and allowing her to then dictate the pace of further developments. You have to give her time to accept and come to terms with it.

Best of luck.

[Jenniferathome]

In my signature is how I came out to my wife. You can't hint your way, joke your way or innuendo you way to this. Shock and awe is not a good approach either (appearing dressed in front of her for the intro).

You can do this. It is a serious discussion and be ready for these two questions: "Are ou gay?" and "Do you want a sex change?"

Just start with, "I have something to tell you about myself...."

[allesha10]

Ricky, Mine asked if there was something going on that was distracting me,and i confessed. Not easy any way you go, but having read your post I have to wonder if she really does not know? And either does not care or is waiting for you to say something,either way,not talking about it won't get better with time.

[Alice B]

Open and fully honest is always the correct way to do it. Assure her of your love, that you are not gay and do not wish to transition as a female and be ready to honestly answer any and all questions. The give her time to digest all of it and leave the door open for further discussion.

[Briana90802]

One of the best threads about telling the SO is here.
http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?149851-I-told-my-wife
Read it and good luck. :)

[Rachelakld]

My GF knew long before she became my wife, I mentioned I had an interest in playing dressup and would she like to see my colection of clothes.
With the kids, a couple of years back I started wearing leggings during winter, so they got used to the idea of me dressing girlie, then they got to my size, they started borrowing my clothes and in exchange I asked if I could borrow their jumper, skirt etc and it was like "OK" just as long as it wasn't in the local area.

[noeleena]

Hi,

I would not be impressed with someone else wearing my knicker's thank you very much , why do it, buy your own. more so you did not ask her to start with, had you then may be that would have been the time to talk about what you wonted to do,

Many male's dont care do they just take what's not thier's & wear it, well youd get a right telling off from me , well im a woman, & i would ...not ..appreciate that , I did have some one ask me if they could a guy , i said nothing doing, i wont let others wear my ...... female private wear,

...noeleena...

[andrea lace]

Very carefully would be my suggestion. I told my wife after 17yrs. A new era of love and trust has opened up for both of us. But all marriages are different a lot end over cross dressing. M y wife did ask if I was gay or did I want to transition. Now she buys me make up and outfits and says I am a much calmer person now I can be myself. Secrets are never for free they always come with a price

[Deedee Skyblue]

When I first met my wife, I was in an online forum using the handle Deedee(tv) - so I don't have any advice on how to tell her. But I suggest you stop wearing her clothes asap - like yesterday - until after you tell her and discuss wearing her clothes with her. Generally, the things we most want to wear are the things she likes the most, and if you wreck her favorite item, that is going to be about the worst way for her to find out there is.

Go buy your own stuff. It is tough shopping for women's things the first time - but remember, there is really nothing wrong with doing it. Women buy men's things all the time.

Deedee

[Becky Adams]

It took 38 years and the realization we were growing apart because I was hiding "something." She thought the problem was with her so I had to level with her. I used the Tri-Ess approach anad leveled with her--had all of the recommended books on hand at the time and she read them all and then we talked. Assured her I was not gay and that SRS was not in the plans. Be honest and hide nothing as she will ask many questions and she will know when you are hiding something.

[Jenni Yumiko]

Jenniferathome's link is very good and I used her advice for me coming out to my wife. Be prepared for a lot of ups and downs if you do. You stated you want o read stories, my signature is my ongoing struggle my wife and I are enduring.

[Beverley Sims]

My wife loved me and trusted everything I told her, she did some reading but remained guided by me.
We are an operating couple that share openly with other.
I can look at girls, must not touch and come home at night.
When in Vegas we both have a chat with the prostitutes and ask how business is.
We are really more interested in the wter features that cost lots to run.

[giuseppina]

Rickyjoe, you're only fooling yourself. Most women know when their stuff has been moved about. Chances are very high she is waiting for you to come out to her.

There are some sticky threads in the Loved Ones section that I recommend you read, including this one:

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?90231-Not-telling-lies-and-hiding-things-from-a-GG-s-POV

This is a long closed thread about how to come out to your wife by a respected genetic lady who no longer posts:

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?13841-How-to-tell-your-partner&highlight=

In the meantime, get your own stuff. Most of the genetic ladies do not appreciate their SO wearing their stuff without permission.