I told another friend

[Amy A]

I went around to my friend's place tonight to watch the football. He's been one of my best friends for the last 16 years, and has always had a relentlessly carefree and positive attitude. The thing is, he rarely talks about anything particularly deep, so whilst I knew he is a good person it was still hard to gauge what his actual reaction would be.

I told him everything, about how long I've struggled with this and how transitioning was constantly at the forefront of my mind. And this carefree party guy suddenly changed into the most thoughtful and sympathetic person anyone could wish for in a friend. He spoke with clarity and seemed to understand exactly what I was attempting to communicate, he asked questions and even offered to introduce me to a group of open minded friends in a different city.

He is the second friend I have told in a week, and the response from both has been amazing.

I'm posting this here because I hope it shows that the fear many of us live with can very often be unjustified. True friends should always come good. A year ago I could never have imagined talking about this to anyone; now my SO and two of my best friends know everything, and it gives me the confidence to move forward in redefining who I am.

Rachel :)

[allesha10]

Rachel, Thank you. I have to come out to more people. I did feel so much better when I came out to my wife, it was a relief. I have only told two people in my whole life, both wives. It would be so great to have a friend like yours to talk with about Allesha.

[Annette Todd]

Rachel,
I think it is wonderful that you have sought and found positive reactions. I envy the courage it takes to open up such a personal aspect of your life not really knowing what reaction you may get. However, the friend you chose of 16 years may have really had more insight into your person than you may have been aware of and he was only waiting for the time when the subject "came up". I am happy that things are going well for you and hope that they continue.
For many of us who fear what reaction there may be to coming out of the proverbial closet or have no one to confide in always have this forum and the others here who can be counted on to listen with an accepting ear. This has been my only refuge in my world gone mad! (according to the "normal sensibilities" of society)

Cheers

Annett

[Kalista Jameson]

Rachel,

I am in the same boat as you this week. I came out to my mom and best friend since 1982. Both were wonderful about it. So I tap my beer mug (or wine glass) to yours. :)

Cheers,

Kalista

[Jenni Yumiko]

What Annette said is very true. I told my friend a few weeks ago, we have known each other n dated since high school. After I told her she said she always knew. It's great. To have good friends who know and are supportive of your lifestyle!

[Beverley Sims]

It is a fine balance between telling and not telling.
The situation has even got to be right for success.

[Amy A]

My friend genuinely didn't know; he said that he'd wondered if I was bipolar but then he'd never known me to be really happy so he'd discounted that. He often felt that I was 'on edge' though. Anyway, he sent this message today:

'Thanks for opening up to me yesterday. It gets frustrating when you see a friend so down and you don't know how to help him. It took a lot of guts to tell someone what you told me. I hope it has helped you. I'm really proud of you.'

If that isn't proof of a good friend, I don't know what is! :)

Allesha: You've got the big one out of the way. You should be proud of that, I know how hard it is. :)

Annette: The rest of the world is crazy, there's nowt wrong with you :D. I'm glad this place brings you comfort.

Kallista: I'm really happy for you! Mine's a traditional real ale jug, just with lipstick smeared around the top :D

Jennialy: I couldn't agree more! :)

Beverley: I gave both friends forewarning that I needed to talk, but otherwise it just came to the point where I couldn't put it off anymore. There are others who may find it harder to cope with the whole thing, but now I have a few people on my side I feel stronger and more able to cope with whatever comes next.

Rachel :)