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View Full Version : Friends, Friends With Benefits and 'Relationships', versus Acquaintences



Beth-Lock
03-16-2013, 09:08 PM
I think we can easily forget that a woman showing the sort of friendliness typical of men in talking with a casual acquaintance, even if no more friendly than the sort of outgoing helpfulness characteristic of any nice guy, projects quite a different message when it comes from a woman instead. It seems to assume more intimacy. It can as a result, even be taken as a signal you are looking for a 'relationship' with the person, when no such thing is intended. Really, guys often are more outgoing or get a bit personal in remarks towards strangers, just because they want to be helpful and are used to being blunt in getting to the point, even with a complete stranger. Apparently GG's mind their own business a lot more reservedly than men.

Then there is the 'Good Samaritan,' something that at least a lot of church goers try and practice in life, but could easily be misinterpreted as 'trying to work an angle,' or being overly intimate in sharing or in some other way. In fact, church goers are in a church community which encourages them to care about others' lives and problems, more than happens normally in the outside world, e.g. in the workplace or in business/sales deals, which are dominated more often by the motivation to compete.

What experiences have you had with behaviour that means different things now you are publicly a woman, quite different from what it used to mean when you were presenting as a man?

KellyJameson
03-17-2013, 04:02 PM
The challenges are probably different from one person to the next because of personality and temperament.

I do not think I have ever started a conversation with anyone in my whole life but only respond once someone talks to me, otherwise I simply do not talk.

I do not like being looked at and I do not want to be the center of attention. I have always been the "wall flower" type.

I am not naturally a joiner, not because I'm anti social but because I am extremely cautious with people I do not know regardless of what gender they are.

I have lived my life trying to be invisible and this is why transitioning has been brutally hard and one reason I have fought the need to transition so fiercely.

It is my relationship to "others" that made me bury my identity and not allow it to take on physical form. I tried to transition while staying invisible to others.

It is easy to be invisible when you present as male but damn near impossible when you do not.

I really really miss my cloak of invisibility.

The loss of that is causing me all sorts of social anxiety that just adds to my problems.

I have not changed one thing about how I behave but the world around me has changed and it is freaking me out.

I find myself "binding" and hiding behind clothing now so I'm crossdressing in reverse to reduce social anxiety but the anxiety is caused by completely different reasons than before.

I feel naked, as if for the first time people are "seeing" me and I do not like the experience.

I feel like I have thrown away the shield I have always used to hide behind.

I never joined society and now I feel like I'm being pushed to join and I do not like it.

I will never be a social creature, I just simply want to feel "normal"