Addiction vs. Myself?

[Sarahgurl371]

Okay, I have recently been thinking about the whole addiction vs. being true to myself / ourselves. With a recent thread about a young person struggling with this all, I thought I'd put this out there for any ideas from the wise ones here.

What is the difference between an addict and my / our behavior? Addicts sneak, manipulate others and situations, and steal away time, and resources, for themselves to engage in thier addiction. Having an alcoholic in the family, I have seen first hand how thier behavior can affect others.

I have snuck around, I have manipulated sitiuations, I have borrowed resources, (never stole), I have stole away time for me to be by myself. The difference I think is that I have had to, in the past, do these things to be MYSELF. Whether that is real or imagined, my perception that I have to be alone to be myself, that is. I feel that when I am dressed, I see MYSELF in the mirror. While sometimes there are other reasons, but even THOSE reasons, I feel as being true to myself.

So, do addicts feel that when they are engaging in thier addiction, that they are being true to themselves? I tend to believe that an addicts "thing" is to avoid the inner termoil that they have been unable to deal with. So they occupy thier brains with the addictive behavior. Or is the PLEASURE from the behavior just so intoxicating, that they crave it all the time.

How do we / you split this hair?

Geez, someday I have gotta lighten up!

[Lisa Maren]

Okay, I'll take a crack at this nut.

First, an addiction is something either chemical or emotional in the brain. CDing might be able to be chemical or emotional but if there is the addiction then it's not an addiction to the CDing but an addiction to the emotions or chemicals in the brain, right?

Second, CDers only hide what they do because society doesn't approve (and many of them do not even hide anyway). Addicts hide what they do because it's illegal or dangerous to their health.

Third, all addicts eventually get out of control with their behavior. Many CDers never do. I've never been out of control with mine and I'm sure I'm not alone on that one. But again, if there is an addiction it's not to the CDing.

Fourth, I do not believe that addiction to a chemical, be it a chemical or emotional addiction, is expressing a part of the personality. It is purely addressing a craving or suppressing pain. Can someone use CDing to supress pain? Almost certainly. But the potential to use CDing for that does not make it of itself an addiction. One could supress one's pain reading trashy novels but I don't hear that being called an addiction. CDing is definitely a part of one's personality. In my case I declare that to be true because I find beauty and meaning in my femininity and CDing and I believe that whenever you find meaning and beauty in something your soul is identifying itself to you.

Anyway, by all means this is only my theory behind that question.

Hugs,
Lisa

[Christina Nicole]

I think the answer is rather simple.

It is an addiction if it controls you. It's not an addiction if you control it. There's a certain amount of secrecy in being a TG. That's a given because of how society, family, friends, and employers potentially would view transgenderism. So "stolen moments", secrets, and the like are a given.

For example: if you take a vacation day here and there to go out of town and dress up. That's ok. If you are often absent from work for part of the day because you went to dress-up. That's bad. If you are spending some of your own personal discretionary spending money for clothes. (IE: trade beer for shoes) That's ok. If you are spending the mortgage money, grocery money, or your savings account on a ton of clothes, you may have a problem.

Warm regards,
Christina Nicole