Should I tell my mum

[andrea lace]

Well it may be that due to circumstances beyond my control I could have my dear old mum living with us in the near future. We have a big enough house and I would love to have her living with us. The only problem I can foresee is will she get on with my other persona Andrea.I only told my wife about my dressing 3 months ago and now it seems that I should let my mum know. How will she react is my main concern will she accept that her middle aged son likes to dress as a woman? I honestly don't know. I suppose I should know my own mum well enough to know how she will react on this but the truth is I do not. I assumed wrong in thinking telling my wife would end up badly but it didn't. I would hope my mum would be fine with it but who knows.

[STACY B]

This is just my thoughts but I would ,, Unless you want her to Run your house ? Freedom is Priceless ,, Tell before not after ,, If she don't like she won't have to move twice ,, lol,,,

[JenniferMBlack]

I agree with Stacy. If she is going to be living with you tell her before she moves. Otherwise you will feel you need to hide in your own house again. I am assumeing you don't hide now since you told your wife and are asking if you should tell your mum. Just my $0.02.

[I Am Paula]

A mother's love is unconditional. If it is not, the living arrangement would have been doomed from the start anyway.

[Jenara]

Yeah unless you want to go back in hiding, you need to tell her.

[shae]

Well, yes, tell your mother at your earliest convenience; it's now your house, and you need not hide in fear of offending someone else with something as innocuous as crossdressing. Power to you, and I'm sure things will work out.

[Loni]

moms always love there daughters.
my mom and i have had so much fun going out shopping dinners, and if she can (she has a very very bad back) a day trip to sf this spring/summer.
maybe even go so far as to rent a view room in a tower just for her delight.
a months pay but she is worth it.

.

[Rachel Morley]

If I were you, I would tell your Mum before she arrives ... also if it were me, I'd ask my wife to be present when you do it and if possible ask your wife to affirm to your Mum that she is ok with it too.

[BobbieBrooks]

My wifes mom(86) moved in with us last Nov. We had her over for supper before hand to work out the details of moving in with us. After supper had the "talk" about Bobbie. She has been most welcoming to Bobbie. Wife and I agreed that hiding Bobbie would not be best for all, and if mom did not approve, she could chose to NOT move in with us. Hiding would have brought stress to the mix so being open ended up being the best.

[docrobbysherry]

No idea about your family, Andrea. In my family? Mom, maybe. Dad? Not a chance in hell!

[Beverley Sims]

Blame it on the hormones.
Explain how hormonal changes have changed your life over the years and as your wife already knows your mother may be more readily to accept you.
You are not telling a lie as hormonal changes do take over your life.
I suggest your initial dressing around your mother is tasteful and done in a slow manner so as not to overwhelm her should she be responsive positively.

[Mollyanne]

it appears that the overall if not the total majority say and agree to "advise" her of your "alter ego". I'll add my "tell her also" to the list.

Molly

[Joanne.England]

I would agree - tell her beforehand. She may already have suspicions already depending at what age you started to CD.

[Ellanore G.G.]

Hi Andrea.
I had the M.I.L to deal with and I agree that it will be good for your wife to be present.
After I had been married for maybe 7 years, something came on the tv about c/ding
and my m.i.l said to me, " you know that xxx used to do that with my clothes when he was young"
So I replied " oh he does not do that anymore" and she said "good I knew hed grow out of all that nonsense"
So I laughed and got up and hugged her and said, no he does not use anybodys clothes, because He now has his own.
lol she really is a great woman, just took her a while to catch up with the 20th century.
I hope it all goes well.

[JenniferMBlack]

No idea about your family, Andrea. In my family? Mom, maybe. Dad? Not a chance in hell!

I had always felt the same way. No way in hell I could ever tell my Dad. But when he had come out to visit me and my sister he told her, How he thought I must be gay. Because I was completely shaved, had long hair, and not a steady GF. So I decided I would tell him, and to my great amazment it was not a big deal, he said I raised you to make your own choices and live your own life and if this is what makes you happy then good. So parents can suprise you too.

[sometimes_miss]

It's a mixed bag; if she's going to be living with you because she isn't able to live alone anymore, you really have to decide if you can put up with the worst possible reactions. My mom was 73 when I told her, and it wasn't a pleasant outcome. She's in denial, thinks it was something I'd grow out of (really mom, at 42?), and won't accept any conversation about it, immediately changing the subject or shutting down the conversation. It's clear she doesn't approve or accept the situation, if she had to move in with me I might kill myself instead (or go into some type of 'witless protection program, yes, witless describes me). Living with an older relative that disapproves of your living situation in any way can be a nightmare. Read the many threads about how to find out how to tell a relative, and do everything very gradually. Because once the cat's out of the bag, there's no turning back. If 'mum' thinks your crossdressing is a silly thing, be prepared to have her put you down on a regular basis whenever she disagrees with you in order to make her own opinion more valid because you're 'just a silly man who wears woman's clothing'. If you can accept the worst possible outcome comfortably, then go for it. Remember, wishing that the whole population thinks crossdressers are just fine, normal people won't make it that way. Keep both feet firmly planted in reality, not just hoping for the best and thinking it will work out that way just because you want it to. My own experience telling friends and relatives has been catastrophic. The ones I've told? No one wants anything to do with me; friends disappeared, relatives stopped communicating. Mother and sister maintain minimal contact, and never initiate it; one word or short answers to any of my questions, and they don't initiate any discussion on the few times we do talk. No one else returns my calls or mail.
Good luck.