Andie Elisabeth
03-24-2013, 01:10 PM
I haven't posted here much since last September. That was the time when I wanted and tried to start therapy but I wasn't ready for the lack of privacy I have now since I mostly live on campus and lack of trust in my parents and friends. I probably did what I shouldn't have I closed myself inside me and tried to sign up for as much classes as I could and delay dealing with myself until I'll feel close to 100% safe. Now I know it was a mistake.
Long story short last semester I almost hit rock bottom. Signing up for a lot of classes resulted that I could fail 3 or 4 of them and stay at university. And I failed 3 of them. I couldn't focus enough.
Six and half month later I came out to my mom, last week actually :), she's kind of supportive. Even though I probably should've gone back to therapy first but I didn't want to repeat September and have uncertainty about having nowhere to go to recover. I don't function in my native language and as an introvert I need quiet time.
Tomorrow I will, unless everyone there takes vacation or something, set up an appointment and will return back to therapy.
And even though I want to go to school as woman and not as a man tomorrow I have to endure until the end of semester. But I will not be a man next semester because I am tired of acting.
tl;dr: Going to therapy sometimes may not be as easy and harmless as coming out to parents.
Long story short last semester I almost hit rock bottom. Signing up for a lot of classes resulted that I could fail 3 or 4 of them and stay at university. And I failed 3 of them. I couldn't focus enough.
Six and half month later I came out to my mom, last week actually :), she's kind of supportive. Even though I probably should've gone back to therapy first but I didn't want to repeat September and have uncertainty about having nowhere to go to recover. I don't function in my native language and as an introvert I need quiet time.
Tomorrow I will, unless everyone there takes vacation or something, set up an appointment and will return back to therapy.
And even though I want to go to school as woman and not as a man tomorrow I have to endure until the end of semester. But I will not be a man next semester because I am tired of acting.
tl;dr: Going to therapy sometimes may not be as easy and harmless as coming out to parents.