Not sure If SO/Wife will be okay with my newly purchased breast enhancers

[crossdressed911]

Wife comes home tomorrow and my weekend of having some quality en femme time with restraint is coming to a close. I will not have an opportunity in the near future to openly dress until one of two things happen. SO says lets have some girl time together (not likely to happen anytime soon; never has in the past) or she goes out of town again. With all that being said, wife knows I cross-dress. I have mentioned to her before that I wanted to try makeup. She said she was not interested in helping or seeing me made up. I respect my wife more than anything and appreciate her effort to be supportive of my hobby. She knows I own a few bras, some panties and pantyhose. These belongings are neatly put away in a small dresser drawer in our bedroom. She also knows I have two skirts and blouses. She actually surprised me with the two blouses as a gift one time when she went out of town a year or so ago. She tries very hard to be supportive even though the whole idea of CDing is difficult for her to accept. Lets be honest I’m still learning to accept myself for being a crossdresser. This past Friday when I dropped her off at the airport I took a trip to the store to pick up a few girly things. I purchased a new skirt, blouse, inexpensive breast enhancers and a NuBra. I also picked up a wig and some makeup. I believe my wife will not have an issue with “a few” of the additions to my wardrobe (like the skirt and blouse). What I don’t know is how she will react to me owning the breast enhancers, NuBra and the wig. My question is should I stash those items until I have had an opportunity to tell her I bought them? I just don’t want to overload her with these new items. My thought is I squirrel away these in a secure location until we have had an opportunity to discuss my weekend. She is coming home from a visiting her parents. Some times her weekend visits with her parents can be a bit emotionally draining. As with many girls it was difficult and emotional when I came out to her that I like to dress (still is). I want to be respectful and considerate off her feelings about cross-dressing. Any suggestions, advice or wisdom on how to best handle the upgrade to my closet?

[Jenniferathome]

Hiding those things is a bad idea. How about engaging her in a discussion over dinner. "Honey, do you want me to tell you about things I might buy for cross dressing?" Let her determine that. Hiding is like lying about them.

[crossdressed911]

Jennifer - I agree lying is my primary concern with these items. I am open and honest with her and I’m really struggling with this. At the time of purchase I didn't give much thought about what she would think of me owning them. I simply bought them thinking while she is out of town it would be a perfect opportunity to try making my breast look girly and the wig would finish off the whole package. I think I’ll take your advice to plan a dinner to discuss this coming week/weekend. In the meantime I will place them temporary out of site. Thank you!

[Beverley Sims]

I would just put them in the drawer with everything else and if they are found say that you wear them when she is not around.
She may surprise you and want to see what they look like on.
Do not make an issue of it this only causes angst.

[Jenniferathome]

Jennifer -... it would be a perfect opportunity to try making my breast look girly and the wig would finish off the whole package.

What you don't want her to think is that this is "leading" to something more permanent. You KNOW you don't want to transition and she THINKS you don't want to transition. You will have to reassure her.

[2B Natasha]

That's a tough one. If you hide them your lying by omission or at least being deceptive about a prickly issue. If you tell her all about them. You run the risk of association. She leaves, you buy stuff without telling her. Never a good idea unless its her birthday.
You need to have the discussion about these items prior to buying them. Even as little as saying. I do plan on buying such and thus in the future. Here's why. Ill play within our boundaries.
Personally I don't see the clothes as an issue. Not even the numbers so much. The enhances might raise an eyebrow. But the wig. That is dramatic
And could be traumatic. If she is not going to be in your opinion ok with it. I would stash it for now. A week at most. Bring up the subject. If she is ok with it. Put it in the package and bring it out the following week. If she's not.
Toss it until you and she have an agreement in it. It is never a good idea to ram down the throat of anyone what they don't want. You will cause hurt and resentment. That my friend could take years to heal and cost WAY more then a new wig.

Just my .02 cents

[crossdressed911]

I find this forum very helpful to float thoughts and ideas like this one. I agree the wig is a biggie. I'm leaning towards tossing it out until she and I have had an opportunity to discuss. If at that time I wanted to buy another one I would mention it to her first. The wig is just a cheep one I picked up from a party store. It is actually pretty bad looking and I wouldn’t wear it again anyway. It would eat away at me if I kept it and wait to discuss at a future time. If I tossed it I would still tell her “I tried it once, but tossed the wig out because it was cheep and looked bad”. I think the wig is my biggest issue. The enhancers are likely more palatable for her. I do not believe she would be over the top excited (no pun) to see my chest enhanced. I’m really not concerned about the new clothes. I plan on telling her about the clothes when I see her.

[Alice B]

That is always a difficlut situation to deal with and I, like everyone else here know nothing about your wife or your relationship. That said, like everyone else has said. Hiding things is like lying and leads to a bad result. Like most wifes she will find out that money was spent and will question it. Just put the tings away as you normally would. Give her time to decompress from her trip and then have an open and honest talk with her.

[ReineD]

Hiding those things is a bad idea. How about engaging her in a discussion over dinner. "Honey, do you want me to tell you about things I might buy for cross dressing?" Let her determine that. Hiding is like lying about them.

I agree with this. Given the way that you describe your wife's reactions to the CDing, it would not go well at all if she found the things that you bought without you having told her ahead of time.

You are considering tossing them. I suppose this is a solution for now, but it doesn't resolve the fact that you and your wife have two different ideas of your level of cross-gender expression and judging by the combined experiences we've all read about here over the years, the chasm between your wife's understanding and your own desires stands to only get worse over time. You may not realize it but this does create a white elephant in the room even if no one says anything. We do sense things a lot of things about people that they do not talk about, even if sometimes we are correct or only partially correct.

[Karren H]

Hide them! Obviously she doesn't want to participate or want to know more else she would have said "let's have some girl time".... which she hasn't and most likely never will.... so if she doesn't want to know.... forcing it on her is a BIG mistake..... usually involving lawyers and crying.....

[StephanieH]

For what it's worth, I think if there's anything a woman can understand, it's impulse buying or shopping. She might not be supportive of your dressing, but she'll probably not be that upset about you buying more than you maybe should have, because I guarantee you there's not a GG or one of us on here that hasn't gone a little nutz on a spending spree and gotten carried away.

You don't have to thrust the items at her and wave them in her face, but I'd probably tell her, in a sheepish manner, that I'd gone a little crazy while she was gone and bought some stuff. Who knows, she might get a kick out of it if you approach it with a bit of levity. I'm certain if you've been married for any amount of time that she's bought things before that you didn't approve of, or you just wondered why she blew a bunch of money at a particular time - I don't think she'll think much differently about this as long as you don't make a big deal out of it.

I agree with not hiding this - that breeds doubt in a woman's mind, and once she thinks you're hiding one thing, she's got every right to think you're hiding a lot more. That's not good for a relationship. Good luck!