Questions for the ladies & their SO’s who know/don’t know about www.Crossdresser.com

[crossdressed911]

Curious mind(s) whant to know:

1A - Does your SO know you are part of the crossdresser.com community?
1B - If so, does she read your postings?
1C - If so, is she also a participating member of crossdressers.com?

2A - If you have posted pictures does your SO know you posted them?
2B - If she doesn’t know you posted pictures how would she feel if she found out?
2C - If roles were reversed (she was in your shoes (LOL)) would you be okay if your SO posted pictures on the internet?

3A - If your SO knows you crossdress, but doesn’t know you are active with crossdressers.com. Do you think she has done her own internet research on the topic?
3B - If so, do you think if she came across this site would she be able to recognize your postings?

[nhlighthouse]

Yes,No, NO, No,ok,ok as long as she was not in my clothes,maybe and not a chance! and that concludes or Sunday survey stay tuned for for our upcoming Easter Virgil Q & A's seminar!

[Jenni Yumiko]

Yes
No
No
No
N/a
Yes
N/a
N/a

[Persephone]

Curious mind(s) whant to know:

1A - Does your SO know you are part of the crossdresser.com community? Yes
1B - If so, does she read your postings? No. Sometimes I tell her about my posts, I read other's interesting posts to her. Once in a while she looks at a picture.
1C - If so, is she also a participating member of crossdressers.com? No

2A - If you have posted pictures does your SO know you posted them? Yes
2B - If she doesn’t know you posted pictures how would she feel if she found out?
2C - If roles were reversed (she was in your shoes (LOL)) would you be okay if your SO posted pictures on the internet? Don't know, hasn't happened.

3A - If your SO knows you crossdress, but doesn’t know you are active with crossdressers.com. Do you think she has done her own internet research on the topic?
3B - If so, do you think if she came across this site would she be able to recognize your postings?[/QUOTE]

[EllenJo]

1A: Yes, she found it in my browser history and spent some time on this site. She is now much more accepting of Ellen Jo.
1B: She has read some of my posts but does not keep up with it.
1C: She is not.

2A: I do not post pictures
2B: I don't think she would like it but it is a moot point.
2C: Never thought about it.

3A: She has done a lot of research on the topic.
3B: Here she would know me by name.

[Eryn]

Answering those questions that apply to my situation:

1A - Yes, she knows. I asked her if it was a good idea before I joined.
1B - I hope she reads my postings.
1C - Yes, she participates. She joined soon after I did.

2A - Yes, she knows I posted pictures. She often takesthe pictures I post.
2C - She is free to do what she wants, and if she decides that posting pictures is in her best interest I would encourage her to do so.

[Diana Bain]

1A - Yes
1B - Some yes
1C - No, but she has added to some of my posts.

2A - Yes, she has taken most of the pictures.
2B -
2C - Yes

3A - She has read many articles and a few books on crossdressing.
3B -

[Tara D. Rose]

Curious mind(s) want to know:

1A - Does your SO know you are part of the crossdresser.com community? Yes she does.
1B - If so, does she read your postings? Yes, but only when she is logged in with her own account.
1C - If so, is she also a participating member of crossdressers.com? Yes she is.

2A - If you have posted pictures does your SO know you posted them? Yes she does.
2B - If she doesn't know you posted pictures how would she feel if she found out? IF she had not known, she would be somewhat upset.
2C - If roles were reversed (she was in your shoes (LOL)) would you be okay if your SO posted pictures on the internet? I would be okay with it.

3A - If your SO knows you crossdress, but doesn't know you are active with crossdressers.com. Do you think she has done her own internet research on the topic? She probably would have but I sort of beat her to it, and so we researched everything together.
3B - If so, do you think if she came across this site would she be able to recognize your postings? Of course for she knows my female name.

[AmyGaleRT]

1A: Yes, she knows about the forum.
1B: No, though I sometimes read her what I or others have posted, and, once, quoted her in a posting here.
1C: No, she doesn't seem to have any interest in participating herself. I've left the option open for her though.

2A: Yes, she knows I've posted pictures. She's seen the pictures, too. She has exercised veto power once, forbidding me to post one picture she deemed "too provocative," despite the fact that it was still within CD.com content guidelines.
2B: Not applicable.
2C: I don't control what she does online. I would be OK with her posting pictures as I am, in such a way that her "alternate identity" wasn't publicly linked to her or me.

3A & 3B: Not applicable.

- Amy

[Joanne f]

1A, Yes.
1B, Not very often.
1C, No she is not .
2A, Yes she does know.
2B, N/A,
2C, Maybe if they were in the same category, as in disguise and decent,
3A N/A
3B N/A

[Jolene Robertson]

1A - Does your SO know you are part of the crossdresser.com community? Yes
1B - If so, does she read your postings? No, but sometimes I share a comment with her
1C - If so, is she also a participating member of crossdressers.com? No

2A - If you have posted pictures does your SO know you posted them? Yes, she took them
2B - If she doesn't’t know you posted pictures how would she feel if she found out? N/A
2C - If roles were reversed (she was in your shoes (LOL)) would you be okay if your SO posted pictures on the internet?Yes

3A - If your SO knows you crossdress, but doesn't’t know you are active with crossdressers.com. Do you think she has done her own internet research on the topic? No, she just accepts me for who I am
3B - If so, do you think if she came across this site would she be able to recognize your postings? Some of them

[Beverley Sims]

1A Yes.
1B Rarely.
1C No

2A Yes.
2B N/A
2C Yes. I would have to show her how to do it first and explain the implications of doing it.

3A She is not internet savvy for a start.
3B By my Avatar. It is a significant photo. I did not have long enough arms to take it, so who did?

Do I go in the prize pool now or do I have to give my email address as well.

[Cheryl T]

Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, N/A, Yes, N/A, N/A

[steff13]

1a.yes
1b.no
1c.no
2a.n/a
2b.n/a
2c.yes
3a.n/a
3b.na

[JenniferMBlack]

1A - Does your SO know you are part of the crossdresser.com community? Yes
1B - If so, does she read your postings? Has in the past not any more
1C - If so, is she also a participating member of crossdressers.com? signed up wasn't interested no longer logs on

2A - If you have posted pictures does your SO know you posted them? Yes
2B - If she doesn’t know you posted pictures how would she feel if she found out? wouldn't care
2C - If roles were reversed (she was in your shoes (LOL)) would you be okay if your SO posted pictures on the internet? Yes

3A - If your SO knows you crossdress, but doesn’t know you are active with crossdressers.com. Do you think she has done her own internet research on the topic? think she has
3B - If so, do you think if she came across this site would she be able to recognize your postings? Yes

[Jenniferathome]

1A - Does your SO know you are part of the crossdresser.com community?
YES

1B - If so, does she read your postings?
No

1C - If so, is she also a participating member of crossdressers.com?
No. I have invited her to join but she isn't too interested

2A - If you have posted pictures does your SO know you posted them?
Yes

2C - If roles were reversed (she was in your shoes (LOL)) would you be okay if your SO posted pictures on the internet?
Yes, if she posted for the same reasons I do (a sort of self validation)

3A - If your SO knows you crossdress, but doesn’t know you are active with crossdressers.com. Do you think she has done her own internet research on the topic?
My wife knows both, but she DID do research. That is her style: gain knowledge. She did her research after I came out to her.

3B - If so, do you think if she came across this site would she be able to recognize your postings?
Yes. She would recognize my picture but moreover, I have written nothing that I would be afraid or ashamed of her to read.

[Edyta_C]

1A - Does your SO know you are part of the crossdresser.com community? YES
1B - If so, does she read your postings? NO
1C - If so, is she also a participating member of crossdressers.com? NO

2A - If you have posted pictures does your SO know you posted them? YES
2B - If she doesn’t know you posted pictures how would she feel if she found out? Not Good
2C - If roles were reversed (she was in your shoes (LOL)) would you be okay if your SO posted pictures on the internet? Not Good

3A - If your SO knows you crossdress, but doesn’t know you are active with crossdressers.com. Do you think she has done her own internet research on the topic? Perhaps, probably not
3B - If so, do you think if she came across this site would she be able to recognize your postings? YES

Edy

[~Joanne~]

1A - Does your SO know you are part of the crossdresser.com community?

Yes. We talk about various things that are talked about within the community.

1B - If so, does she read your postings?

No. We do not invade each others privacy like that or play spy games on each other. We trust each other which is a foundation in any relationship. If she did want to read the forum or any of my posts, I would not have a problem with it.

1C - If so, is she also a participating member of crossdressers.com?

No. I have asked her if she would like to join to learn a bit more about CDing and what it means to me and other girls but she has shown no interest.

2A - If you have posted pictures does your SO know you posted them?

Yes. She knows I take pictures and post them to the forum. She also knows they are from the neck down and nothing identifies Me, Her, Our where we live or anything along those lines. She has stated that she doesn't have a problem with full pictures if that is what I want or need to do but I have fears that yet to be conquered.

2C - If roles were reversed (she was in your shoes (LOL)) would you be okay if your SO posted pictures on the internet?

Yes. I am her man, her girlfriend, her lover , and her confidant. I am not her dictator, her boss, or her prison guard.

3A - If your SO knows you crossdress, but doesn’t know you are active with crossdressers.com. Do you think she has done her own internet research on the topic?

I know she hasn't done any research to my knowledge. She might have though. who knows? When I brought all of this out in the open I encouraged her to do some reading on it if she needed help to understand this (as I don't understand it myself) but to keep an open mind that every CD has different needs and wants and that Mine varys from a lot of the girls out there.

3B - If so, do you think if she came across this site would she be able to recognize your postings?

Without a doubt as she knows my femme name. She also knows our surroundings so she would be able to pin point my pictures even if she missed my name as the author and since she has seen me in most of the outfits, and was there when I bought them, I would be hard to miss :)

Now that 10 questions is over with, if your collecting any of this information, other than curiosity, I want to be paid and i don't come cheap lol

[ReineD]

Hi, I'm a GG actively involved and also supportive of anyone here no matter their gender identity. :) My SO does not participate in this forum anymore because frankly, she no longer needs the support. She feels comfortable going out on a regular basis either alone or with me. She also used to post a lot of pictures of herself online in the social media under her female name and sometimes I would even take the pictures because I did eventually come to understand why she needed to do this. However, she no longer feels the need to document her looks and post pics because as mentioned she has been going out for a long time and she goes out frequently. I hope this answers the questions in your OP.

As it is sometimes my habit (good or bad) to sometimes go a little beyond the original questions, if you don't mind I'd like to make a few observations.

I'm guessing that you are asking these questions because you would like to participate here and also post some pictures, but you don't quite know how your SO would feel if she found out by accident? So I'm guessing that she either does not know that you crossdress, or she does not know the full extent of your desire to express femininity?

I just want to point out that even though it is interesting to see how other crossdressers' SOs handle this, individual situations vary according to individuals and not according to the norm of the people who post responses. In other words, you could have 50 responses in your thread from members whose SO's know and support everything, but this does not mean that your SO will do the same. In fact it is likely that many SOs were not quite that supportive in the beginning, even if they are supportive now. Learning to navigate the crossdressing in a relationship is a process for both the crossdresser and the SO.

Hope you don't mind me reading a bit between the lines, and if I am completely offbase, then just ignore my post. :p But, if I guessed right, here is a bit of unsolicited advice:

I don't know if you intend on letting your SO know of your needs or desires, or if you are just beginning to explore all of this or have been doing this for a long time without your SO knowing. But, if you are just starting out, you might consider involving your SO from the onset so that you do not place yourself in the unfortunate position of needing to tell her years from now about an important side of yourself that you had previously not disclosed. Many of the GGs who find out years down the line and who are non-supportive, feel this way mostly because they have been lied to.

But, whatever is your situation, good luck! :)

[crossdressed911]

ReineD – I appreciate your comments and perspective. I asked these questions because I was simply curious.

My SO is aware of my dressing and mostly knows when I have dressed or going to dress. In both cases I typically dress when she is not around. There were a few occasions when I put on a skirt to watch TV while she was sitting next to me. I have never dressed more than that in front of her.

I plan to share this site with my wife and suggest she spend some time reading. I just recent joined the web site and have found it very helpful. I have learned a lot about myself and have learned there are no-one-size-fits-all situations out there.

My curiosity behind the questions is/was -- do people press the send button on their keyboard before thinking it through. Moreover the idea of posting a pictures on the internet is concerning for me. In another life I think it would be fascinating to have people I don’t know comment on a photo and give advice. However at the same time the idea of having a picture floating around cyberspace scares the you know what out of me. My business, my community involvement and reason for dressing all prohibit me from ever posting a CD picture on the net. Like many people I dress because it feels good and is relaxing. I have no desire to go out dressed. I know some may say, “You may feel that way now, but…” For me I just don’t see the goal or objective in going outside the house dressed.

I realize the replies to this posting will be all over the board. We have been married for 20 years and I told her about my dressing about 5 years ago. Prior to that I would underdress for a little while until the shame set in at which time I’d take them off. I really didn’t think I was a cross dresser until I came out to my wife. Yes, I am still learning about myself as well my SO is learning along the way.

I truly appreciate your comments and insight.

[ReineD]

I plan to share this site with my wife and suggest she spend some time reading. I just recent joined the web site and have found it very helpful. I have learned a lot about myself and have learned there are no-one-size-fits-all situations out there.

I think you're very wise to do this. :)



My curiosity behind the questions is/was -- do people press the send button on their keyboard before thinking it through. Moreover the idea of posting a pictures on the internet is concerning for me. In another life I think it would be fascinating to have people I don’t know comment on a photo and give advice. However at the same time the idea of having a picture floating around cyberspace scares the you know what out of me. My business, my community involvement and reason for dressing all prohibit me from ever posting a CD picture on the net. Like many people I dress because it feels good and is relaxing. I have no desire to go out dressed. I know some may say, “You may feel that way now, but…” For me I just don’t see the goal or objective in going outside the house dressed.

This is another consideration. I think it's wise to go by the rule that nothing you post on the internet is ever private, since it's so easy to drag any picture to a desktop. And really, anyone can join a site like this or Flickr and see pictures for members only, if they are inclined to do so. I read a story recently about a woman who had posted a family portrait (she and her husband and their two kids) I believe in facebook, for her friends to see. Friends of hers were vacationing in Prague and saw her family portrait on a huge billboard advertisement for a grocery store. :p

http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2009/jun/11/smith-family-photo-czech-advertisement

[Allison Chaynes]

Curious mind(s) whant to know:

1A - Does your SO know you are part of the crossdresser.com community? Not sure.
1B - If so, does she read your postings? Doubtful
1C - If so, is she also a participating member of crossdressers.com?No, but she was on PantesEtc.com when they were up. I think she logged in once just to see what it was about and got a little weirded out.

2A - If you have posted pictures does your SO know you posted them? No
2B - If she doesn’t know you posted pictures how would she feel if she found out? Probably not thrilled.
2C - If roles were reversed (she was in your shoes (LOL)) would you be okay if your SO posted pictures on the internet?Yep

3A - If your SO knows you crossdress, but doesn’t know you are active with crossdressers.com. Do you think she has done her own internet research on the topic? Somewhat
3B - If so, do you think if she came across this site would she be able to recognize your postings?Probably

Also thanks for weighing in ReineD. Your insights are always appreciated.

[Lorileah]

As Eryn said, just the parts that are pertinent here

1A - She did
1B - No, as far as I know she never visited this site. I never visited her Horse sites


2A - Yes, she knew I posted photos

2C - As someone else pointed out, it would be her prerogative. Good for goose good for gander. I try to not be a hypocrite.


3B - Since she knew my name and knew what I was doing...

[flatlander_48]

curious mind(s) whant to know:

1a - does your so know you are part of the crossdresser.com community? yes
1b - if so, does she read your postings? a few
1c - if so, is she also a participating member of crossdressers.com? no

2a - if you have posted pictures does your so know you posted them? yes, this forum only
2b - if she doesn’t know you posted pictures how would she feel if she found out?
2c - if roles were reversed (she was in your shoes (lol)) would you be okay if your so posted pictures on the internet? not sure

3a - if your so knows you crossdress, but doesn’t know you are active with crossdressers.com. Do you think she has done her own internet research on the topic?
3b - if so, do you think if she came across this site would she be able to recognize your postings? aside from the photo, maybe

[WantingtobeVictoria]

My wife knows all about it. I am not sure if she reads my posts, but she knows I am posting...and replying. She actually took several pictures on me today to be posted.