long period

[Stevie]

It has been a long time in my eyes since I was able to dress. From my last post I tried to explain and tell my wife again what I want to do and how I feel. So long story short I didn't get to dress and don't know when I will get another chance.
As for the conversation we had she basically held her ground and said that she isn't going to make it easy for me. Funny I never thought this was easy.

[Maria in heels]

I'm sorry to hear that she isn't trying to understand (thats the impression that I get from your post). Hope that someday she will be more "tolerant" of your dressing, and start a don't ask don't tell policy for you...

[Lisa Gerrie]

Spouses range from actively helpful to actively against it. You are obviously in favor of it, at least enough that you approached her about it. That's a tough spot, regardless of what "it" is.

As with anything in life it may come down to a binary choice about what is more important to you. Or at least more important to you at this phase of your life.

[Karren H]

welcome to the club!..... My wife isn't a big fan of my hobby but as long as I keep it out of here face she tends to be a somewhat happy camper..... if you still want to remain married to her AND dress then you need to come up with new plan.... think out of the box.... for me dressing on business trips for the last decade has been amazing... and periods when my SO is away from the house for more than a day.... how about finding someone locally to dress with? at there place..... or take a cruise or send your wife on a cruise? lol. Getting depressed isn't the answer.... be creative.....

[Beverley Sims]

It appears that your wife is actively against it.
With her saying she is going to make it hard for you can be fighting words.
I would tread carefully and as Karen suggests lightheartedly these are some of your options.
Do not show depression when you can't dress but look forward to a time that you can.

[Maria S]

You poor thing it must be very hard for you not being able to dress.

Maria

[Jenniferathome]

welcome to the club!..... Getting depressed isn't the answer.... be creative.....


I think Karen has it right. But I will add that you still must try to talk about this.

[Stevie]

Yes it is depressing but I knew this was going to happen. She wants some level of control. Trying to work it out but she insists on making it difficult. I keep telling her it is not a phase.

[~Joanne~]

From the sounds of things, you may have bigger issues in your relationship than finding times to dress. JMO.

[PaulaQ]

Yes it is depressing but I knew this was going to happen. She wants some level of control. Trying to work it out but she insists on making it difficult. I keep telling her it is not a phase.

I know you are against counseling, and there are certainly some useless counselors. But have the two of you tried talking with someone? Would either of you be amenable to that? This is a difficult situation:
- the statistics, such as they are, suggest that you aren't going to get over this, nor give it up. (Even if you were incredibly motivated to do this - odds are, you will continue to do this periodically.)
- she isn't willing to accept it and wants to make it hard for you.

There are certainly middle grounds between these two positions, but you'll both have to compromise a little, especially her. If not, then yes, finding ways to do this away from her seems like all you can really do.

[Stevie]

From the sounds of things, you may have bigger issues in your relationship than finding times to dress. JMO.

Sure sounds like it.

[deebra]

If you weren't married you could do what you want----RIGHT???? but you are so you've got to figure out what works
I hope you have told her this is something you were born with and even the high paid shrinks can't make it go away.
Many women are quite bullish, demanding and controlling to get their way and HAVE CONTROL. If you bought ten pairs of panties, put them in your drawer, wore them every day and did your own washing of them would she gradually accept that you have certain needs, wants and rights as an individual and you aren't her puppet or slave; or would she throw them away which would start another argument especially if you threw all of her panties away in retaliation, then you two could compromise and both wear your own panties. You might think i'm full of ---- but I hate to see the hurt her attitude is causing you when she is suppose to love you. Like Karen said, if she stays defiant don't stop CDing, just find a way to do it .

[Ellanore G.G.]

Hi Stevie, can you write her a letter explaining how you feel ?
And ask her to write one to you letting you know her fears, feelings.
Sometimes we try say things and they come out all wrong.
I know from what my H done in the past, made me feel that he would always
be the same when it came to c/ding.
But of course that was my closed mind, and for years I too made it hard, in the belief that he would stop.
Could have saved both of us all the heartaches, by just talking, and seeing the other persons side.
But when we fear things we build up walls to protect ourselves.
Its human nature to try and prevent things that we dont truly understand.
I truly wish you all the best, just keep the talking lines open.

[Barbara Maria]

From the sounds of things, you may have bigger issues in your relationship than finding times to dress. JMO.
Yeah,what she said.

[Jessica86]

This is the boat I am in right now. No time, and it's been forever...........my how things change.

[allesha10]

Sorry Stevie, so hard to lose ground on an already uphill battle.