Do Women actually like Men who Cross-Dress

[nylon45]

Hello Everyone , As you can see , I am relatively new here and am just finding my way around the forum at the moment

One question I do have though is this....Do women and , in particular , straight women actually like crossdressing because , to be truthful , I have never actually met one that does awwww

Sure , they may make allowances if there husband or boyfriend enjoys wearing however , in their heart , do you like it or simply put up with it , if they happen to love the person they are with and who is and always has been a crossdresser , maybe even before they met them ?

I would welcome your replies and especially from females who do not , in essence , have a problem/issue with it

Cheers for Now , Dave

[STACY B]

Look around the Site ,, There are Female Members here that Love CDs ,, They joined this site for that reason !

[lynnef]

of course... it seems more so with gen-x and younger... girls come up and talk to me more readily in girl mode than in guy mode... on another site that I frequent (about cosplay) it seems the response is mostly positive, especially if the presentation is well done :)

[Jorja]

Just like anything else in life, there are those that do and those that don't.

[Abigail]

Wish i could find one too :battingeyelashes:

[MysticLady]

Hello Dave

First of all welcome to the forum and thank you for being courageous and posting your question.

I suspect that women dislike men who crossdress because it stirs up an inner conflict that I believe that they can't even answer. Just like crossdressing, there's doesn't seem to a concrete answer for why we do it. When a loved one is involved I believe that the only thing that overshadows thier conflict is love and that's why it is tolerated to some extent. Sometimes the mind makes decisions overpowering the heart and then that's when insanity becomes ruler. The mind can't handle it and causes rash decisions like divorce and disowning the loved one. Trust is a big factor, most often feel that it's a locomotive with the pedal to the metal without an engineer. Each relationship with a woman is very different and different strageties are required to deal with them which sometimes works and sometimes it doesn't.

[slamddoger]

that is good ? that no body really know but there is some vary spacil women out there

[I Am Paula]

Stand at the bar on a busy night. They will approach you.

[NurseSamGG]

Nylon45 (Dave)

Absolutely, there are women out there who enjoy CDers. Until my BF I had never given it much thought. But he told me right at the very beginning of our relationship, before the love and commitment to each other really began. My first reaction was shock and then a twinge of excitement rose up my spine. He asked me what thought and if I thought he was a freak. In my mind I thought no not you but am I the freak for becoming excited over it. That was a little over 9 months ago and I can truly say I thoroughly enjoy his hobby!! He accuses me of being more excited about it than him sometimes....lol!! I tell him maybe.....I love clothes, shoes all things girly!!

Everyone is different and enjoys different things. I told another member recently when she questioned what kind of magical force was on us GG's who accept and enjoy CDing SO's. My response was basically that there was unfortunately no magic over us. We liked what we liked just because we do, it's just like you and others on here like CDing there may be no other reason than that is simply what you enjoy doing and who you/they are. So liking it for us is just simply who we are. Like the old saying different stroke for different folks. So some will like it and others will not, but when you find the right one you will know it :hugs:

Xoxo....Sam

[Kate Simmons]

Like so many other things, it depends on the particular woman.:)

[Tara D. Rose]

Great answers here. It just depends on the woman. I especially liked the answers given from MysticLady and Sam. Those answers are the true answers.
So the question do women like cross dressers? We can't say yes, we can't say no. It's just that some women do and some don't.

[Jenara]

My wife really seems to enjoy me being dressed. Of course I still only wear a bra, panties, forms and pajamas. I don't do anything else at the moment. I'm probably one of the lucky ones though.

[Karren H]

No! I'm still a proponent that except for a rare few.... women do not totally accept our crossdressing.... they tolerate it to varying degrees.... from 99% to -10%.... lol. My wife being nearer the lower number than the higher one....

[Maria S]

Women seem to like men who cross dress more. It's other men who can't cope with it almost like letting the side down.

Maria

[STACY B]

Hell Karen ,, If I looked as good as you do my Wife would do a back flip ,,lol,,,

[Jenniferathome]

I'll offer my wife's comment to me some time after I came out to her, "It's a little weird but does not bother me at all." In essence, she tolerates rather than "likes" it. I would also say that my wife has embraced my cross dressing but would rather that I was not a cross dresser. Kind of reasonable, actually.

[Beverley Sims]

Stand at the bar on a busy night. They will approach you.

Celeste,
I can agree with you there, it is curiosity, and if you make yourself interesting in conversation you most likely will hook up.

Trouble is I am married and women ten years my junior want to ply me with drinks....
A problem I have I am like Bat Man, I only drink milk and coke, not the sniffing variety.
It is nice to hold their interest for a while though.

[Karren H]

Hell Karen ,, If I looked as good as you do my Wife would do a back flip ,,lol,,,

Does she like doing back flips or just tolerate them? lol

[STACY B]

That's the Answer we all would Love to know ,, Maybe the gender therapist can get it out of her ?

[Tammy Nowakowski]

Hello Dave welcome to the forum
My better half puts up with it

[FrillyShelly]

In my experience I've found that it's quite rare for ladies to accept & enjoy it....... unfortunately !

[vivianann]

I find that most women are accepting as long as it is not their boyfriend or husband. I would like to find a woman who would like it like NurseSamGG does.

[Patti Remick]

One question I do have though is this....Do women and , in particular , straight women actually like crossdressing because , to be truthful , I have never actually met one that does awwww



Dave,
Ask yourself this: 'Why would they?'

Straight women are attracted to men. Masculine men. Thats the way it is. Straight men are attracted to women. Feminine women. Thats the way it is.

Are you attracted to women that want to dress, look, and act like men? I dont just mean a woman in pants. Thats just mysoginistic M>F CDr thinking women are crossdressing (or getting to wear male clothing). Thats rediculous.

I mean you, are YOU attracted to a woman that has a mans haircut, very masculine clothes, wears fake facial hair, binds her breasts so she appears flat chested, puts something in her pants to look like male genitals, tries to walk, act, and talk like a man? Im sure the answer is no - and for good reason - its just not what you want. So why would straight women want anything to do with a M>F CDr? Does it happen, yes. Many examples here. But this is a TINY percentage of the population. And most neither 'looked' to be in a relationship with a M>F CDr or is 100 percent OK with it. For the most part they love and accept the person underneath because the basic relationship was already established.

[Jaymees22]

Hi, I would agree that some do and some don't. Recently on the local radio station the trivia question of the day was "What do 25% of women find very sexy when men do what?" The answer was shave their legs, so what about the other 75%, guess not. Hugs Jaymee

[STACY B]

I find that most women are accepting as long as it is not their boyfriend or husband. I would like to find a woman who would like it like NurseSamGG does.


Hey,,,Hey Leave Nurse Sammy alone ,, I seen her first ,,,lol,,,

[Kristyn Hill]

My wife likes and enjoys it. I don't dress a lot so she has her man most of the time. She loves everything girly and especially on me at the right times.

[Lorileah]

Wow I must have won the lottery, twice. I have had two women who loved me no matter what I wore.

Of course there are women who like men in feminine clothing. And to respond to Patti...yes I have been attracted to women who present mannish. I look at the person, not the clothing. If I did that I would have so few friends I would be a sad person

[Patti Remick]

And to respond to Patti...yes I have been attracted to women who present mannish. I look at the person, not the clothing. If I did that I would have so few friends I would be a sad person

I applaud you. But as a CDr yourself you are much more apt to be sympathetic/empathetic to other transgendered/CDg individuals. The same cannot and should not be expected for the vast majority of non-transgendered/non-CDg heterosexual women.

[AllieSF]

For those that do not know any CD's or transgendered males, I would say only a very few would actively look for one. They may accept one if they met them for the first time when they were dressed en femme, or they may accept this side of them if they were emotionally attached and later got the big reveal and were not turned off by it. Otherwise, I am with Karren on this one, very few women are actually interested in being in a relationship with a transgendered [person if they can avoid it (i.e. given the choice early enough in the relationship).

[HollyH20]

I think my wife loves that I crossdress almost all the time

[Michelle55]

I think the key point is "straight women". If a woman is completely "straight" (100% straight) then it seems impossible for her to be attrached to a CD. But.... I believe only a small % are actually 100% straight or gay (both men and women), but rather somewhere in the middle. Most people won't admit they might be in the middle due to our society's views. Probably most of the time not even to themselves.

Therefore if you could get a true answer and not what they've been conditioned to think, I'd guess that at least 25% of the women would like us and look forward to having us dressed up.

I'm lucky enough to have a wife that is a bit more open minded than most and could see that even though she is most attracted to men she is also attracted to women sometimes. Having a CD husband gives her the best of both worlds.

[Sandra]

Well this straight GG has been with her SO for over 25 years :) There are women out there who do like cder's and even like their SO's doing it.

[nylon45]

Thanks a million for all your replies , they have given me a great deal to think about and , in essence , that was the reason for the initial question I guess

In my experience , a small percentage of women have kinda' accepted it or should I say , gone along with my love of dressing up though , in truth , I do not think I will ever find a girl/woman who would fully embrace it and help me shop or even buy my lingerie/hosiery etc though I keep on dreaming awwww

Cheers , Nylon Dave

[Lorileah]

I applaud you. But as a CDr yourself you are much more apt to be sympathetic/empathetic to other transgendered/CDg individuals. The same cannot and should not be expected for the vast majority of non-transgendered/non-CDg heterosexual women.

So basically what you are saying that no one here can actually have a perspective because we are all biased. Then maybe this question would be better posed on Yahoo answers?

What Allie said is the fact. That unless they have an interest in it themselves they won't seek it. It is just like any other dating/attraction thing. If you don't like Martians with purple horns and three eyes, then you probably won't actively seek one. But if you met said alien and got to know them it may be different. In both of my SO's case they were not seeking a TG (I use that term and not "CDr" for a reason in my case) but neither one ran away when I told them. I have not actively been seeking a woman as a romantic partner (actually I was not actively seeking anyone...I have been just living my life now) but every woman who has met "me" (and there are many who have known in in my other persona for years) has been very gracious and accommodating and some have even shown interest.

And when you pose a question and you get an answer, don't argue with the person who answers. If you don't like an answer, don't ask the question. Your personal aversion to mannish women is your aversion. There are many men out in the world who like tomboys, masculine women and yes even FtM cross dressers

[nylon45]

Oh by the way , I meant to say earlier....lol If any straight females of any age would care to chat or exchange mail/letters or better still , perhaps want to get to know me a little more - I would be eternally grateful.......Dave 45 and Hoping :-)

Its all god fun he says , not exactly holding his breath awwww

[cathie pantyhose]

I had a ggfriend years ago who loved it when I dressed (oh the games we played) however my current wife knows I dress and is not thrilled with it but she's still here after knowing for at least 5 years now. She just doesn't want me dressing when she or the kids are home which is ok with me as I dress between 8:30 and 3:30 anyway.

[LSL_Dee]

I'll offer my wife's comment to me some time after I came out to her, "It's a little weird but does not bother me at all." In essence, she tolerates rather than "likes" it. I would also say that my wife has embraced my cross dressing but would rather that I was not a cross dresser. Kind of reasonable, actually.

Jennifer, your wife sounds like mine.
I think my wife just accepted it after the two of us being repeatredly called ladies, even when i was not dressed.
I think i recognized her accpetance by the way she referring to me openly as her "special husband" with inferences to my femme side. Provately she calls me a girl with a penis, her teen age daughter (because i am alwasy in her closet and jewelry box) or her sister.
She has told me that she misses her husband even though I present as male a lot. I try to reassure her that I am not going to have SRS so my not to worry, she will always have her husband, just a sister who raids her closet as part of the package.
We have shopped together for clothes (if i am going to wear it I want some input into what we buy. :) She helps me with shoes and make-up so I guess she has accepted me as Dee

[ReineD]

There are women whose preference it is to be in sexual relationships with crossdressers and who actively seek them, but I think this is rare. Of the tens of thousands of members who have joined this site, I can only remember a handful of women who joined specifically to find partners.

I think the issue is twofold. One, there are relatively few crossdressers compared to men who have no desire to engage in any form of cross-gender expression. Two, because of the scarcity of CDs, the crossdressing is still misunderstood in our society and therefore deeply closeted. Most GGs just don't know enough about it, and what they do know has been gleaned from the media .... although this might be changing somewhat with younger people and their involvement in cosplay.

About 95% of the population is heterosexual give or take a few percentage points, and it simply does not occur to the majority of hetero women to actively seek men who have alternate gender identities, since by definition (they are hetero), they want to be with men who see themselves as men. Keep in mind that until most people know better, they think that men who wish to appear as women do so in order to attract other men.

However, the rules change when it comes to being kinky in the bedroom. I think that a lot of GGs are open-minded and are willing to engage in bedroom behaviors that float their partners' boats, since doing so is beneficial all around. :D. But, there are many stories in this forum of wives or girlfriends who initially cool off on the crossdressing when they begin to feel that the need to crossdress goes deeper than mere bedroom frolic, or if the wives/girlfriends feel that the CDing is more sexually appealing their husbands/boyfriends than they are.

And finally (phew!), many GGs (I can't possibly give you a percentage), will go anywhere from acceptance to tolerance of the crossdressing in a partner whom they love. But again, the level of acceptance will vary depending on three things: one, the GG's ability to be open minded, two, the strength with which the CD wishes to crossdress, and three, their ability to talk about it and compromise if they are on two different pages.



Stand at the bar on a busy night. They will approach you.

I think this is true as well. A lot of women are curious about it when they see it. I would have been, before I knew my SO. But, I'm guessing that curiosity cannot always be mistaken for sexual attraction, although there are just sooo many more factors that come into play with sexual attraction than just the crossdressing. For example, the CDer's attractiveness (initially), the personality, the sex appeal/sensuality, etc. Some people exude these things whether they crossdress or not. :D

And also, if a woman knows absolutely nothing about it, if she senses that the CDer at the bar is interested in her as opposed to assuming that he's out there looking for guys, she may just take it that she is in for a fun, kinky night ahead as described earlier. I think that a lot of people are open to a lot of different "sexual possibilities" initially, but then things can also change if they discover it is more than just a kinky thing.

I suppose a good question might be, if there are 50 women in the room, how many of them will approach a CDer at the bar? Most of them? One or three? I've no idea.

[Fran Moore]

Once again, a very fair and balanced assesment on this issue from a Lady who has spent hundreds of hours on this site. Your observations, research, and understanding of the issues never cease to amaze me.

Thanks Reine!

[darla_g]

I have known a few so they are out there. I really loved your post Reine.

[NurseSamGG]

I have received a few PMs and other responses to what I posted earlier. Am I really that rare?? Don't really know the answer to that. All I know is how I feel and how much I enjoy and relish at the thought of my BF CDing or really any male for that matter. I read ReineD's post and from what I understand from reading other posts is that she is very well educated on the lifestyle, I myself being a medical professional even can not claim that I know even a fraction. However, I am responding purely from my emotional and personal preference side.

I would hate this thought because I am so in love with my BF and feel as if we are truly meant to be together, but if anything ever happened to us and we were not together anymore I would truly want another SO in my life who CD. In fact it has crossed my mind before, if something happened to us how on earth would I ever find another SO who CD? Similar to the OP, how on earth do I find a women who is accepting and enjoys my CDing, I guess if that ever happened I'd be in a different boat on the same lake...lol. Like I stated in my original response I knew about my BF CDing way before there was any strong emotional connection or attachment. It was like when he told me of his hobby something in me just lit up and turned on that had been there always and I maybe never really even knew about it until that point.

I don't mean to give anyone false hopes, but I do truly feel that there is someone out there for everyone. Maybe I just feel this way because he is my one, that I am meant to be with him, I don't know I do hope so. All I know is my thoughts and feelings on the matter.

Xoxo...Sam

[FelicityMay]

GG's can have very different interests from friends to SO's.
I would assume that if you found a very girly girl, who loved shopping and loved everything about fashion and clothing, and you came to her as a man and said you were into that sort of thing too, I could see that girl wanting to be "girlfriends" with you. but what they want out of a SO is generally a tough protector who will watch out for her and make her feel like a woman.
So i assume that the most common accepting GG's will maybe like a cross dressers half the time, because sometimes girls just love to be girly. but you may also have to have a masculine side behind that if you expect her to really take you seriously.

[suchacutie]

My wife and I had been married for 34 years when we discovered Tina! The overriding emotion for both of us was curiosity, initially. The piece that was really important was sharing what is is like to grow up as a girl, and what Tina needed to learn about it. It's this connection that I think is the strength of a relationship which includes transgenderism. My wife knows that she has her man, still. She also gained a girlfriend (my wife is completely heterosexual) and, as she put it, since I am "two applications running on the same database" even my guy side understands so much more about being a girl!

This brings us back to Reine's discussion above. How do we get the population in general to understand that having a spouse who is inherently interested in all things female and feminine can have real advantages?

[Jenni Yumiko]

I dated one for a year who preferred it. and married one for too many years because she embraced it and somewhat forced it. I have three friends (GG's) That would have no qualms being with a CD.

[Ressie]

"There are women out there" - yeah, way out there!
"Some do, some don't" = very few do, most don't.

I suppose if one cross dresses openly and frequently they will have a greater chance of meeting women that do like CDs. But from what I've seen throughout my life is that women like men that are strong but also have a sensitive side. Also, most women (like most humans) don't understand cross dressing and have no reason to do research on the subject. I think most of us single CDs would love to date someone like ReineD.

[Sheren Kelly]

I think finding an accepting partner is greatly aided by honesty about who you are and being confident in yourself. Get out there and live your life as you are, and your chances in finding a lover improve considerably over hiding in a closet hoping someone will come knocking on your door.

[SandraInHose]

Do women like men who crossdress?

Not the one I'm married to. :hmph:

[Dann12]

There are many.

[Di]

Well this straight GG has been with her SO for over 25 years :) There are women out there who do like cder's and even like their SO's doing it.

Very true and THIS STRAIGHT GG met her S O right here at this very forum.

[Fran Moore]

And all this time I thought it was a match made in Heaven! Just kidding Di, it's obvious that you two are perfect together.....I hope it's okay to be a little bit jealous?

[ReineD]

I have received a few PMs and other responses to what I posted earlier. Am I really that rare??

You're not rare for being into your SO and loving the CDing. Many GGs say they do, especially when they are told at the beginning, provided they are open-minded (also youth helps) like you are. I was equally enthusiastic in the beginning. I was told from the onset as well.

(And to be honest, it has also been my observation there is a "honeymoon stage".) :)

I was saying that it is rare for a GG to go out and actively, specifically seek a relationship with a CDer, since the vast majority of GGs know very little about it until they just happen to meet their first CDer. :) I also made an observation that of the tens of thousands members who have joined this forum, (of which hundreds or maybe even a thousand were GGs), only just a handful of GGs joined here specifically to meet a CDer. The vast majority of the other ladies, like you, have joined because they were in a relationship and were seeking either support or more information.

So, most GGs do fall for the guy first, and THEN they support, to various degrees of enthusiasm, the CDing. AFTER he tells them. IF they're really into him. :D

Having said that, NurseSam, you may well be in the 5% give or take a few percentages, that is into alternative gender expression and sexual orientations (the LGBTQ crowd). But still, this isn't most people.

[Patti Remick]

And when you pose a question and you get an answer, don't argue with the person who answers. If you don't like an answer, don't ask the question.


I stated my opinion. Thats the purpose of this forum. YOU can call it argumentative or whatever you want.




Your personal aversion to mannish women is your aversion.


When did I state that I was averted to anyone?



There are many men out in the world who like tomboys, masculine women and yes even FtM cross dressers.


100 percent straight men, really? (we were talking about straight women and M>F CDrs)

[Mermaid]

I am not necessarily straight per say...but I do enjoy it very much. I enjoyed it long before I found out about my husband.

We are out there, you just got to look a little harder :)

[Flent]

Well, as a gg who loves crossdressers and is not in a relationship with one, I can definitely say we’re out there. But even if I’d be thrilled if I met a perfect guy who turned out to be a crossdresser, I wouldn’t seek them out in particular. There are many other things that are more important to me in a relationship. I would never mention my interest unless it came up somehow, which it almost never does. So you really never know, maybe more women are interested than you'd think, though I imagine it's still a minority.

[tiffanynjcd24]

I wish I would found a girlfriend that supports me even though I am a bi crossdresser

[Lorileah]

100 percent straight men, really? (we were talking about straight women and M>F CDrs)

I don't know anyone 100% straight but I do know several men who love and married women who were more masculine (athletic, tomboyish and even butch). There are those out there who like that you know

[SometimesDiana]

I told my last girlfriend on our second date and she got really excited and asked, "Does that mean we can go shopping?" Apparently, her previous boyfriend behaved like a small child at the mall. She had to buy him a taffy apple and sit him down at a bench so that she could shop for a purse. My current girlfriend is one of those rare women who actually prefer and seek it. Overall, I've had pretty good luck so I'm always surprised to read so many horror stories on the forum.

A couple factors that probably help me:
1) I'm younger and my generation is more open.
2) I don't date very religious or conservative women.
3) I don't hide it... that's probably the most important thing. I can't imagine any woman would be happy about discovering a lie.

[Lynn Marie]

Sure looks like it may be possible to find a straight woman who will be willing to actively embrace a CD and the lifestyle, but it also looks like the chances are pretty darned slim. To so many women, our female side is really just another woman she has to compete with!

[ReineD]

Sure looks like it may be possible to find a straight woman who will be willing to actively embrace a CD and the lifestyle, but it also looks like the chances are pretty darned slim. To so many women, our female side is really just another woman she has to compete with!

I have to say, that when women are past middle school, they are actually nice to each other. :D

Seriously, we get along, we bond, we see each other as sisters, we cooperate on stuff ... the only time that I can think of a woman competing with another woman, is if they're after the same guy. But that has never happened in my own life. I had my boyfriends and my female friends had theirs! I also do not recall being in competition with anyone for both my long-term relationships. :p

So unless a wife is competing with her CD husband for the attentions of a third-party guy, I honestly can't see why she would feel as if she is in competition with her husband! :)

[DonniDarkness]

I must be living in an alternate reality. Because in the world i live in people are attracted to people for a myriad of reasons.....More often than not people are attracted to each other by the chemistry of personality....So many nay sayers saying that women do not like men who are TG/cd/tv yet there are lots of Alt-couples out there who are perfectly fine with each others gender presentation.

I would say that the more confident you are about yourself and your crossdressing the more accepting other people will be. The same idea goes for dating. If you set the impression that your damaged goods for being a CD....anyone you get involved with will not respond well.

Stop looking and start living,
-Donni-

[sometimes_miss]

There are women whose preference it is to be in sexual relationships with crossdressers and who actively seek them, but I think this is rare. Of the tens of thousands of members who have joined this site, I can only remember a handful of women who joined specifically to find partners.
<snip>
This is the reality we have to deal with. There simply aren't a whole lot of women who are turned on by the thought of a guy dressing, and behaving, as a woman. The numbers are bleak indeed; about 2.5% of men crossdress, and there are virtually no women out there interested in us. Don't believe me? Take a look at the personal ads. Try to find some straight women looking for crossdressers. There basically aren't any. Anywhere. I've been perusing the personal ads now for 15 years. The only ones I find are from prostitutes, dominatrixes and call girls. And if the lack of personal ads aren't indicative enough, consider this: There are NO places where crossdressers can go to specifically meet single women. None. Zero. Zip. ANywhere. There are gay clubs. There are S&M clubs. There are NO places for us. There is one 'date a crossdresser' website, inhabited almost 100% by men. I've joined; the very few female members there appear to be fake members used to get people to purchase premium memberships. I've gotten contacts from them getting me to pay for the ability to return their message, and never got a response or got one saying that they never sent me a message, the same trick that Match.com uses to get people to pay for the premium membership.
When I was going to a marriage counselor with my wife before the divorce, the counselor occasionally had parties for her gender 'challenged' patients. The regular crowd? About 50 crossdressed/TS MtF's and maybe three or four GG's, wives of some of the crossdressers who'd stuck 'by their man' in spite of his feminine proclivities.
Reality is that finding a woman who's into our crossdressed world is about as likely as winning the lottery. We know someone (usually on this forum) who's 'won', so the dream stays alive, but the odds simply are that most of us are going to be alone unless we develop a sudden desire to date men. And that's not likely to happen for most of us here.

Well, as a gg who loves crossdressers and is not in a relationship with one, I can definitely say we're out there. But even if Id be thrilled if I met a perfect guy who turned out to be a crossdresser, I wouldn't seek them out in particular.
Great. So how about telling all the guys here how we should go about finding all those women like you who are fine with our crossdressing and female behavior? Because if you have any idea, you can become very, very rich matching us up with a woman who's really o.k. with who and what we are! Seriously, a few thousand dollars is no obstacle, now that I've found out how virtually impossible my life has become with this problem. And I'm sure there are plenty of other men who feel the same way.

[DonniDarkness]

So how about telling all the guys here how we should go about finding all those women like you who are fine with our crossdressing and female behavior?

Using the internet to find love and acceptance is likely the common denominator in this dilemma.

Go out, be yourself, find Trans friendly places to meet people. No secret mathematical formulas involved...Just go out and meet people.

If you find yourself saying "It wont happen" it probably wont, being how the whole idea is driven by pessimism.

Optimism people,
-Donni-

[MysticLady]

To so many women, our female side is really just another woman she has to compete with!

Im afraid thats reality Lynn.....part of it at least



So unless a wife is competing with her CD husband for the attentions of a third-party guy, I honestly can't see why she would feel as if she is in competition with her husband! :)

In the eyes of most spouses I believe that this is the case(competition w/ another woman). I believe they would feel inadaquit(sp?) to fullfull that position for thier husbands.



Go out, be yourself, find Trans friendly places to meet people. No secret mathematical formulas involved...Just go out and meet people.
Optimism people,
-Donni-

Be yourself but do it with kid gloves for the respect and courtesy for others.
(ex. dont do it around others that are not at ease with it)

[Jillian Faith]

I'll offer my wife's comment to me some time after I came out to her, "It's a little weird but does not bother me at all." In essence, she tolerates rather than "likes" it. I would also say that my wife has embraced my cross dressing but would rather that I was not a cross dresser. Kind of reasonable, actually.

Almost word for word from my wife

[Flent]

Great. So how about telling all the guys here how we should go about finding all those women like you who are fine with our crossdressing and female behavior?

What Purple said. A woman who has no interest might miss the clues, but if I were out with someone who made even the vaguest hints in that direction, I’d pick up on it. But the hints would have to be subtle and non-creepy.

[ReineD]

Reality is that finding a woman who's into our crossdressed world is about as likely as winning the lottery. We know someone (usually on this forum) who's 'won', so the dream stays alive, but the odds simply are that most of us are going to be alone unless we develop a sudden desire to date men. And that's not likely to happen for most of us here.

This is true for middle-aged folks, but I think that things are different for the 20s-30s crowd, or the people who hang out with the 20s-30s crowd. :p

There have been many changes in just the last few decades: gender roles at work and the resulting shifts at home have narrowed considerably and this is reflected in the clothing styles, where there isn't as vast a difference between the male and female styles as there used to be. Go to any campus, and guys and girls are dressed pretty much the same way. Also, androgyny and gender bending have become rather fashionable at the cutting edge of society. People are aware of gender and sexual diversity. And with the popularity (or at least the awareness) of cosplay among the younger crowd, I think the idea of an young adult dressing up into character may make it easier to accept men who dress as women. It's just not as foreign a concept as it was a generation ago.

All this to say that I don't think younger women are as concerned over the prospect that a guy might like to dress and some of them might even think it cool! But then things may change again, the closer the average younger woman comes to doubt his gender identity. I don't know.

[StephanieDragg]

I have met a few women that enjoyed me being crossdressed.. (details I could not put in forum) and have quite a few lady friends I have enjoyed shopping, dining and strictly friendship with

[GeminaRenee]

So how about telling all the guys here how we should go about finding all those women like you who are fine with our crossdressing and female behavior? Because if you have any idea, you can become very, very rich matching us up with a woman who's really o.k. with who and what we are! Seriously, a few thousand dollars is no obstacle, now that I've found out how virtually impossible my life has become with this problem. And I'm sure there are plenty of other men who feel the same way.

Sure, it's not easy. But it is possible. I've dated a couple - even married one. The online dating scene helps a bit, because one can just throw The Big Factor out there as part of the whole picture, and those who aren't interested are easily filtered out. The one I married, though - I met her cold in the world. It was love at first sight, we dated for a few months, I knew that she was bi, and one day I just worked up the courage to tell her. Sadly, it didn't work out. But the message is clear - they're out there. You just have to find them.

To be perfectly honest with you, the negative attitude probably isn't helping you any. People often find what they are expecting, and finding an suitable partner (of any stripe) is one of those things. And you can't let the ones that don't work out get you down. Face it, it's hard to make a real connection out there - even for the 'normals,' I'm sure. You just have to keep your head up and expect the best.

Also, don't be so quick to rule out gay bars, or meeting people in the LGBTQ community. In all honesty, I would have to imagine that there is an above average chance of a woman who enjoys CDers being something other than a 0 on the Kinsey Scale.

[tall2826]

I've read and heard so many stories on this and I have come to believe that women do like it but, I have never been in a relationship so what do I know.

[Soriya]

One of the best threads I have read in a while!

I agree with Reine on all counts. Middle aged CD's will have a harder time then the younger generations. Flent is spot on too being she is a GG, most GG's that are not into it via a fetish or alternative lifestyle most likely won't be actively seeking a CD. Think about it, if they did they would have to weed through all the CD's who are into it for those mentioned reasons which are often found in abundance on CD and alternative dating sites.

Internet dating is a joke for the most part and in my opinion contributes to the desensitizing of society that social media is used for when it comes to interacting with people. Social media is a great idea but like most good ideas, it gets used negatively too much. I recently purged my FB friends list from 191 people to 10 removing basically everyone including all my family. Sounds harsh but I noticed that I spent way to much time on there reading all their posts, them reading mine thus phone calls and seeing people in person became less and less. Phone calls to hear a families voice is super important to me since all of them live 1200 miles away from me.

I dated one women last year who was the only GF I told about my dressing history and at the time I wasn't even dressing. She was very interested in it however it was readily apparent it was all from a sexual nature and being that is not what is behind my reasons for CD'ing and the fact she was plain flat out psycho, that relationship didn't last long. LOL

I'm 42, divorced and no longer actively 'looking' for a GF anywhere. Not on the internet, not at bars, not anywhere. 'Looking' specifically for a GF too often ends up with us finding the wrong woman. I am going a different route and just being me and when it's time, it's time and I will meet someone through just being somewhere and being me.

Of course I am always accepting applications from GG's LOL!!

[sometimes_miss]

See, I keep getting these vague answers. The funniest one of course being, "Just go out and meet people" and ". they're out there. You just have to find them". Which tell us, basically, nothing new. Then I always get hit with the 'you have a negative attitude' stuff. No, I'm simply realistic and know the odds. I'm not delusional and think that all women will 'love me once they know me'. I've seen the impact that occurs when a woman is faced with me dressed as a woman, and basically, there's simply no way to make me look good that way. Later, learning about the sexual difficulties pretty much nails my coffin shut.

The online dating scene helps a bit, because one can just throw The Big Factor out there as part of the whole picture, and those who aren't interested are easily filtered out.
Yup. Plenty of fish, loveaccess dot com, and match, have 'filtered out' nearly 100% of women in the ten years I've been on their sites. The rest? One is certifiably nuts, one lives in south america, the other in Norway. Three. In ten years.

I would have to imagine that there is an above average chance of a woman who enjoys CDers being something other than a 0 on the Kinsey Scale.
Yes. Random surveys without 'priming the pump' with people who are already suspect to certain sexual behaviors, such as an audience at La Cage, for example, show that about 1.5% of women would be willing to date a crossdresser, before actually doing so. How she responds after the fact is often different, as many change their mind when faced with the reality. Whether that's because there are other things that turn her off at the actual experience of being with the guy while he's 'en femme', or that in itself, we don't know, because it wasn't mentioned in the studies.

There have been many changes in just the last few decades: gender roles at work and the resulting shifts at home have narrowed considerably and this is reflected in the clothing styles, where there isn't as vast a difference between the male and female styles as there used to be. Go to any campus, and guys and girls are dressed pretty much the same way. Yes, but again, it becomes the question of whether she thinks it's o.k. in general for the rest of the population, or whether she'd really like to have a boyfriend in a dress, bra, panties, hose, wig, makeup, etc., perhaps even one that likes switching roles sexually with her.
I've posted twin advertisements on dating sites, one plain, one that mentions the crossdressing at the end of the ad, otherwise identical. Know what? The one with the crossdressing mention gets ZERO replies, other than prostitutes and an occasional 'thanks but no thanks', and that's on sites with many millions of members. I got the same response back in 1999 when I ran ads on AOL in the personals section, and it seems nothing has changed. Otherwise, on the plain straight ad, I get plenty of responses. So it is the CD thing that's in the way.
I also understand the idea that sure, if you're a guy with the physique that might make you look acceptable in woman's clothes, there may be women who find that interesting or even hot to an extent. But most of us simply look like a man in a dress, as we don't have the 'shapely' arms and legs of a female.

.take it slow when revealing yourself. The tendency is to reveal too much too fast, and it takes time when getting to know the lady...small hints, especially during shopping sprees will open the door.
Again, we get to the point of when to tell. Are we to be 'up front' about it? Or be deceptive (my ex wife's words) and wait? How long? I can get dates. I just can't find a woman who's into crossdressing. And it really becomes an issue when I break things off and have to make up some other reason, rather than out myself and risk other problems.
I have the luxury of working in an environment where people bring up topics such as sexual preferences and such things all the time in conversation, and have yet to hear any positive responses from women about crossdressing, and I'm closing in on 40+ years of working in the same (primarily female employee) field.

[GinaM]

i think it depends on the situation. If you're out at a bar, club, or a similar place then women I would think would be all over you. It's because they prob. feel somewhat safe and are prob. VERY intrigued esp. if you present well and can truly walk in heels. I think from an S.O. angle it might be different. Many women would be turned off to this life-style for the simple fact that we're supposed to be the strong ones. I'm a close C.D. but I'm confident my wife knows. I actually want to get caught and have come close MANY MANY times. I've been trying to tell her but am still afraid. If she accepts it then I'm confident it could take our sex lives to the next level but then again it could possibly destroy the relationship.

[Jenn A116]

It seems to me that the problem is a very broadly worded question which implies that all women think alike. I'm sure that all of us can easily think of situations where different women think differently.

Just look at the supermarket, clothing store, etc. There are all those choices because people like different things. Same thing with relationships. We chose who we have a relationship with based on our own personal feelings. What is intriguing to one woman may be repulsive to another.

I think there is no one right answer to this question.

[Lorileah]

Interestingly enough, I had a woman hit on me last night. Too bad I was not 20 years younger

[Wildaboutheels]

Of course there are. How hard are you willing to search is the real Q. Why do you think there are so many different Dating sites out there? Of course it's likely a very small puddle to pick from and not PlentyofFish.

Why do you think there are almost an infinite # of car models/styles/colors/packages... to CHOOSE from? Different strokes for different folks.

Of course ther Pontiac Aztec was never a big seller and maybe it would equate loosely with a CDer. There ARE people with Aztecs who love them, I read in a car mag letter. One person's ugly is another's idea of beauty.

If only finding the right GG was as easy as ordering a car...

Many Dating sites do have a long list of boxes that can be checked. At least they used to.

[nylon45]

I must say , one of the reasons I asked the question in the first place was the negative reaction from women/ladies over my crossdressing awwww

I wouldnt say I am God's gift to Women (lookswise) and am no George Clooney , Johnny Depp or whoever the latest hearthrob is at the present time though equally I am no Quasimodo either...lol
When I date girls , after a period of time , I may mention about my love of Nylon or Heels/Boots and Blouses/Skirts etc and I would say 99 times out of a hundred , the reaction I get is one of shock and dare I say , even , repulsion
I can never seem to hold down a relationship and this is purely down to my compulsion to dress up - if I was "normal" for want of a better word , there would not be a problem but as soon as the issue of dressing up is mentioned BANG , the feelings & love from the women is never quite the same as it was

Any suggestions , ideas or miracle type cures ?

Dave

[ReineD]

I've posted twin advertisements on dating sites, one plain, one that mentions the crossdressing at the end of the ad, otherwise identical. Know what? The one with the crossdressing mention gets ZERO replies, other than prostitutes and an occasional 'thanks but no thanks', and that's on sites with many millions of members.

Wrong tactic.

Had I known that my SO crossdressed without having developed any affectionate feelings toward her, I don't think I would have been interested. The existing stigma would have overridden any initial attraction. This isn't a GG's fault, really. We live in a society where there is a lot of misinformation and misunderstanding about men who crossdress.

To give a bit of background, I consider myself to be rather typical. I never imagined that I would end up in a relationship with a crossdresser. I had known my SO without knowing about the CDing for enough time to have become interested in my SO as a person. When he told me shortly after our first kiss, I liked him enough to want to learn more about her. Admittedly, my initial impression based on the link that she sent me describing the crossdressing (http://www.tri-ess.org/docs/cd01.html), was somewhat superficial. I did go through a period where I felt she was no longer interested in me, as she went from being closeted to going out everywhere in the mainstream and this nearly ended our relationship. The reason that our relationship nearly ended was not because she dresses, but because I honestly felt as if it didn't matter to her whether I was there or not and that at times she preferred for me to not be there. But, we worked through it and everything is stable now.

At the same time, my SO is happy in both her expressions (she identifies as dualgender) and so he is not a reluctant male. If he was, I don't know how our relationship would play out.

I don't know much about you, but if you present as a woman at all times outside of work or other times when you need to present male, then I can see why it might be difficult for you to find a GG who accepts this. When a TG only presents male because she has to, I think she has reached the point where, if it were not for obligations, she is living full time female (in spirit) not unlike someone who is non-op. And this might be more than the average GG is prepared to accept.

[lingerieLiz]

I've been married for many years. Yes, I told my wife before we were married and not too far into the relationship. She would rather that I'm not a CD and to this day doesn't understand my need to CD. She does accept that I do and I shop with her and her friends who know. I don't think there are very many women who prefer a CD over a straight guy, but given that they know you are willing to accept you.

Advertising before meeting brings up images of the impersonators that we see on the talk shows and in clubs. I'm no more like them than a woman dancing in a strip club.

[PaulaQ]

I don't think there are very many women who prefer a CD over a straight guy, but given that they know you are willing to accept you.


This is the same experience I've had being handicapped. There are basically zero women who are looking for a handicapped guy. (I'd honestly be a little afraid of a woman who was specifically seeking a handicapped mate.) There are some who will accept one. I suspect looking for "acceptance" is way easier than looking for "preference."

[Kathyxd]

I'm one of the lucky ones. I started a new relationship in Nov 2011. I told her a month or so in that I liked to dress and she was fully into it. We regularly go out shopping together and she loves to choose new outfits for me.

She encourages me to dress regularly. (Not that I need encouragement). She loves doing my hair and make up.

I hope everybody is lucky enough to find an SO like mine.

[Lorileah]

I ...am no George Clooney , Johnny Depp or whoever the latest hearthrob is at the present time though equally I am no Quasimodo either...lol Interesting you should mention heartthrobs. Looks closely at them and you will see that especially the younger ones have either an androgynous or slightly feminine face and features. Don't look at Clooney now, look when he was on that sitcom in the 80's. Depp? well he was in Ed Wood and his Jack Sparrow would not have to go far to be a CD. Justin Bieber?...we won't even go there. Point is that young people (especially females) look for the not so He-man types. (Dustin Hoffman, Tom Cruise, Shaun Cassidy (look it up kids)...) However one of the drawbacks to younger women is they are also looking to start a family and no matter how you slice it, they look for a more manly man for that (nature is a ...witch).

as the issue of dressing up is mentioned BANG , the feelings & love from the women is never quite the same as it was
Sorry it wasn't "love" it was lust or hormones or alcohol. Still I say come out early so the fall isn't so hard


Any suggestions , ideas or miracle type cures ? Don't try so dang hard. You are out hunting. You either need a new hunting ground or you need a new way of hunting. Work smarter not harder. If dressing is hugely important to you, go out dressed. Don't go out looking like a man and then spring it on her later. Go to places where there is a mixed crowd. NOT a gay bar unless you want a man. Go to bar that has men and women with leanings toward the gay community. At least there, there will be women who ARE accepting. And the best way to attract someone (male or female) is to be in a relationship with someone else...don't know how that works but it does :)

[ReineD]

Don't try so dang hard. You are out hunting. You either need a new hunting ground or you need a new way of hunting. Work smarter not harder. If dressing is hugely important to you, go out dressed. Don't go out looking like a man and then spring it on her later. Go to places where there is a mixed crowd. NOT a gay bar unless you want a man. Go to bar that has men and women with leanings toward the gay community. At least there, there will be women who ARE accepting. And the best way to attract someone (male or female) is to be in a relationship with someone else...don't know how that works but it does :)

I guess we all speak from our own personal experiences, but I think there is value in having gotten to know someone first and determined there are romantic sparks before telling. But, likely every situation and solution depends on the area that people live in and the dynamics of the people involved.

I think that going out dressed to meet women is doable in a progressive metropolitan area where there are such places. But a large chunk of the US population lives in small-town America, where there are no such venues. Our closest one is 2 hours away, and even then it is filled with admirers. :p

:hiding: Another thing I'd like to mention, at the risk of having every middle-aged GG on this board mad at me is that many single middle-aged women feel as if they are condemned to be alone for the rest of their lives:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2011/jul/10/online-dating-middle-aged-women

So in certain situations a middle aged GG might not be initially put off by the crossdressing. If she is lonely and motivated to go out looking for partners, she might be willing to prioritize what is important (a loving mate) and not so important (how he chooses to dress occasionally). As to how many women might be willing to be in a relationship with a full-time TG, this I don't know.

[Lorileah]

As to how many women might be willing to be in a relationship with a full-time TG, this I don't know.

156,656. I counted them :)

[paulinescotlandcd]

Although I have told a few, three to be honest, I would say the majority don't.

[Janet161]

I think that some women who are put off by crossdressing think that it involves an objectification of women and are therefore offended by it. I think they misunderstand; however, when CD's dress in sexy outfits (as many enjoy doing, myself included) I can see where they may get that impression.

[Flent]

See, I keep getting these vague answers. The funniest one of course being, "Just go out and meet people" and ". they're out there. You just have to find them". Which tell us, basically, nothing new.

Have you thought about taking up a traditionally feminine hobby? Quilting, knitting, that sort of thing? The lone straight men who show up for those kinds of activities tend to be swamped with female attention. A friend of mine met her husband due to his interest in a very non-masculine hobby.

[MissTee]

I know one woman that does. I married her over 3 decades ago. Love of my life, soul mates, yada-yada. Between the two of us, we've never met a shoe sale we couldn't conquer . . .

I'd offer up that your Ms. Right will want you for who you are, not for what you do (golf, duck hunt, race motorcycles, cross dress, etc.)

[sometimes_miss]

Of course there are. How hard are you willing to search is the real Q. Why do you think there are so many different Dating sites out there? Of course it's likely a very small puddle to pick from and not PlentyofFish.

Why do you think there are almost an infinite # of car models/styles/colors/packages... to CHOOSE from? Different strokes for different folks.

Of course ther Pontiac Aztec was never a big seller and maybe it would equate loosely with a CDer. There ARE people with Aztecs who love them, I read in a car mag letter. One person's ugly is another's idea of beauty.

If only finding the right GG was as easy as ordering a car...

Many Dating sites do have a long list of boxes that can be checked. At least they used to.

That's great, apparently you've already found those sites. So, why are you keeping it a secret? Why not just list the dating sites you've found that have crossdressing as one of those checkboxes instead of writing everything else but? Your post as written is simply just another 'go meet people' one with no help whatsoever.


Have you thought about taking up a traditionally feminine hobby? Quilting, knitting, that sort of thing? The lone straight men who show up for those kinds of activities tend to be swamped with female attention. A friend of mine met her husband due to his interest in a very non-masculine hobby.

As above, I have no trouble meeting women. I work in a predominantly female field of work. What I have trouble doing, is finding women who are interested in dating someone who crossdresses, or at least doesn't find it a sexual turn off.


I think that some women who are put off by crossdressing think that it involves an objectification of women and are therefore offended by it. I think they misunderstand; however, when CD's dress in sexy outfits (as many enjoy doing, myself included) I can see where they may get that impression.
I don't think that's it at all. I think that women (and men) either find someone sexually appealing or they don't, and it involves a lot of different things, many of which people simply refer to as 'chemistry'. But that's not so; apparently the 'chemistry' we feel is simply a collection of visual inputs as well as beliefs of what the other person is like. When a woman sees a man with many feminine behaviors and then you add the visual of his appearance in female clothes and mannerisms, it most often turns them off sexually, and that is the end of any potential intimate relationship. Sure, you may become friends, but as we all know, once in the friend zone, it's usually impossible to get out, most especially if there's something about you that she particularly finds sexually unappealing, because if there's no 'spark' there, there's not going to be any boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. It's going to be brother-sister. I already have a sister. I want a girlfriend. And the women that I've come out to 1. don't know any other women who might be interested in me, and 2. aren't interested in me themselves, either.

I'm not posting this to be a downer; more so, at some point I'm hoping to inspire a woman to figure out a way for us to get past the roadblock that crossdressing presents to us (because I've been trying to figure it out for decades, and I'm not having any success with it). Sure, there are going to be a number of rotten guys here just like anywhere, but I'm betting that there are also some really great guys who simply are stuck with what nearly all women consider a deal breaker.

[RonniCD]

See, I keep getting these vague answers. The funniest one of course being, "Just go out and meet people" and ". they're out there. You just have to find them". Which tell us, basically, nothing new. Then I always get hit with the 'you have a negative attitude' stuff. No, I'm simply realistic and know the odds. I'm not delusional and think that all women will 'love me once they know me'. I've seen the impact that occurs when a woman is faced with me dressed as a woman, and basically, there's simply no way to make me look good that way. Later, learning about the sexual difficulties pretty much nails my coffin shut.

Darlin', would it help if we all gave you names and numbers of beautiful, well adjusted GG's who are totally into CDing and are dying to meet a girl just like you? As Wayne said to Garth, "And monkeys might fly out of my butt"!:heehee:


ReineD, Purple8229, Kalibrooke, StephanieDrag, Flent, and others have all offered you good advice and comment.

The Question is "Do Women actually like Men who Cross-Dress?" My answer is "Yeah, some do. They're hard to find, attracting someone with CD as the basis of attraction or a possible relationship is nearly impossible, and it's very difficult to predict which of the women you date are going to be at least OK with it. But, they’re out there. You just have to go find one”.


I can only tell you about my own experience. I'm over 50, OK? When I got divorced 9 years ago from a DADT marriage of 13 years, I got on the market in the usual ways: internet dating, going out, dancing, referrals from friends, all that stuff. The attraction has to start from the 2 people that you are. Since my divorce, I was in a 3 ½ year relationship, a 1 year relationship, a brief 3 month relationship, and have now been in a relationship with the love of my life for the past year. All of these women were totally OK with my CDing. The rub was I didn’t trust the 1st one enough to fully embrace and indulge completely with her; the relationship with the second one was very rocky and conflict-ridden and didn’t survive. The third one was the least tolerant, and she had been in an on again/off again lesbian relationship with a woman for the past 5 years! I told these women somewhere around 1 to 3 months into the relationship. We had already established a relationship and attraction based on the basic man/woman equation, and then I revealed another aspect of myself. It was a gamble, but I cannot envision sitting at the first coffee meeting and revealing that I’m a crossdresser and having that relationship turn out well under any circumstance. Why not? Because it’s not my core identity, and not the sort of thing you reveal in a first conversation. Neither would I talk about my mild coronary artery disease, occasional ED, hernia surgery, how I got fired once from a great job because of my management style, or how mean I was to my little brother growing up. These things would all come out all in good time, as the story of me unfolds naturally as we have FUN and get to know each other.

It’s hard for me to imagine women out there who are focused on finding a crosdressing man as their primary criterion in a mate. I think it would likely be an unhealthy focus that’s rooted in something that’s probably no good. There are always exceptions, but IMO such a woman is likely to have some serious issues probably stemming from childhood abuse or a personality disorder, and not someone I want to be around.

I told my current mate at the time we made a commitment to be exclusive with each other. Of course I was nervous about it, but it couldn’t have gone better.

She is totally OK with my CDing, and goes shopping with me. She buys me panties, PJ’s, baby dolls, skirts and stuff for Christmas, Valentine’s Day, my birthday, and sometimes just because. She lights up when I greet her at the door, either dressed or underdressed. We dress up together and have date night.


I don’t spend much time en femme, just because that’s my style, but she would be ok with it if I spent all weekend as Ronni. I am lucky lucky lucky, and I know it. I tell her all the time how much I appreciate all of her.

So, I am 4/4 with the women I have told, and I didn’t do any prescreening in my Match or PoF profiles to stack the odds. I am lucky, for sure, but I don’t have any secrets for you Miss.

Get off your pretty panties, and go find a girl! They’re out there, ya just gotta find one. No one is gonna deliver one to your door.:kiss::kiss:

[suzanne]

While its true that there are some women, bless them, that truly like, and maybe even prefer their men to be feminine, it's not realistic to expect to find one who is looking for a CD as a partner. For most, this would be an acquired taste, gained through appreciation of the WHOLE person. Just throwing it out there on the first date is no better than stating it in the dating service intro page. Its just too easy to say, "Sorry, not worth the trouble" and move on. Time and again, this forum tells us it is best to disclose shortly before the relationship begins to get intimate.

How to know who, or when? That's different for every situation, but I just love Purple's story about shopping, where she examined a women's shoe in a noncommittal way, gaging the reaction of her companion as the discussion escalated. True, in most of her earlier shopping trips the companion turned out to be a "fail", but that conclusion was reached before her date even realized what Purple was up to, so major discomfort was avoided and the relationship quickly and safely aborted itself. The happy ending is that Purple did eventually find the right person an she now has the kind of marriage we all envy.

The thing I would like to know from Purple is whether her SO initially liked CDers as partners, or was it just that she was open minded enough to accept whatever Purple brought to the table? This is important to me because I think the right attitude is that it's "not a big deal" one way or the other. Obviously, things won't work with an SO whose response is "ick", but as an extreme example, the hypothetical woman who looks for CDers to satisfy a fetish is equally superficial. Younger people seem to be less hung up on dressing issues than my generation, so there is hope for an open minded future.

[suzanne]

Don't read my last deeply too carefully. It was written too early in the morning, just after that first jolt of caffeine!

What I really wanted to say was that women who truly enjoy CDers are super rare. Its more realistic to try to find one whose attitude is "so what? Not a problem" and nurture it along with the other facets of the relationship. Purple's method is pure genius because she got the relationship she wanted while all the other "fails" had no idea about her femininity. Don't look for "I like CDs". That's just not realistic. Look for "Not a big deal". You can build a fabulous life on that foundation of open-mindedness

[tiffanynjcd24]

Wow thats very inspiring from you ladies i wish i can find a woman that be willing to accept my lifestyle. I afraid most ladies wouldnt like that i crossdresses

[Jessica86]

To find someone who "loves" it, I would take that as someone who is "all out". That means, participating in going out, doing things in the bedroom, and basically treating you like a woman all of the time. As I have realized, you are most likely not going to find a woman like that. The majority of women though, do tend to have at least SOME level of acceptance. Take my wife for example. She goes out with me, but not all the time. She does nothing in the bedroom, but talks with Jessica like she is me in male mode. I think...and stress the word think, that almost all women will have a don't ask don't tell, or a do it rarely around me attitude. The good news is finding one who just totally hates it so much, they straight up leave you, is just as rare as finding one who is going to go "all out." Just look for someone who accepts you for who you are. Respect them as much as they have respected you by even HAVING a level of acceptance.

[tiffanynjcd24]

To find someone who "loves" it, I would take that as someone who is "all out". That means, participating in going out, doing things in the bedroom, and basically treating you like a woman all of the time. As I have realized, you are most likely not going to find a woman like that. The majority of women though, do tend to have at least SOME level of acceptance. Take my wife for example. She goes out with me, but not all the time. She does nothing in the bedroom, but talks with Jessica like she is me in male mode. I think...and stress the word think, that almost all women will have a don't ask don't tell, or a do it rarely around me attitude. The good news is finding one who just totally hates it so much, they straight up leave you, is just as rare as finding one who is going to go "all out." Just look for someone who accepts you for who you are. Respect them as much as they have respected you by even HAVING a level of acceptance.

I agree with where you coming from thing is i do love and accept myself. I hard time with it because i dont know if anyone else would be with like i was confused and scared

[DawnD]

I can honestly say that yes, I do actually like it. I used to struggle with the affects of it on occasion (mostly to my fragile female psyche), but I really do enjoy what my husband wears. I shall explain.

1. I enjoy seeing him happy. Watching my husband grow into a person comfortable in his own skin has made my heart glow with love and pride. 2. I enjoy helping him dress. Teaching him how to do makeup has been one of the most rewarding things for me. 3. Going shopping, are you kidding me? 4. My husband is beautiful. I happen to enjoy both sexes equally, so having a male and female partner is perfect for me.

Do we have to pay attention to how we balance our lives as a couple? Yes, but that has nothing to do with his CDing and everything to do with the dynamics of our relationship. I need certain things emotionally, and I'm lucky to have an SO who is happy to give them to me. Does that infringe on my husband and his freedom to be who he is? I don't think so. I've never not asked him to be who he is to make me happy. Because him being who he is makes me happy all the time. In fact, I encourage him to dress more because I know it makes him happy.

I have never, nor will I ever be, one of those people who is attracted to the shell only. I know who is under the dress and makeup. I know who is under the jeans and t-shirt. That's the person I love. That's the person I married. If that person thought he needed to go "all the way" and be a full time woman, that's the person I would still love and stay with. It's how I roll.

[DawnD]

We met nine years ago when we worked together in a factory making windows. I am a pretty persistent person when it comes to something I want. And I wanted him. I pretty much stalked him. No lie. We hit it off right off the bat. Fast friends as they say. We started ferociously flirting, then dating, then in love. Before the love part came a confession to me that he wore women's panties. At the time, he wasn't a full on CD. He's evolved over the years. So has our relationship. So have I.

I raised myself through most of my childhood. I have never been the mainstream sort. I never developed that sort of mentality, because I never felt like I was part of it. I can't ever picture myself as judgemental, or exclusionary. I may not personally subscribe to the lifestyle someone else chooses. But I fiercely defend their right to live how they want to live. No revelations. Just who I choose to be.

As far as when I realized I liked what he wears? Pretty much right away. Like I said, I've always been attracted to both sexes. Women have this amazing sexual awareness that is just mind boggling. And men have this strength that is super sexy. I get both...yay me!

[StarrOfDelite]

My limited experience is that many women are fine with Crossdressers as friends, but that the vast majority do not want romantic involvement if that's what the OP meant by "Like." Most women like Gay men, too, because they don't have to worry about sexual tension with them. Just saying.

[DawnD]

Truth be told, if something were to ever happen to my husband. I don't know if I could ever go back to a non-CD relationship. If that makes me a minority, so be it.

[Maureen]

A coworker / friend of mine posted on Facebook yesterday the following "Getting a pedicure right now and no lie, there's a GROWN MAN getting his toes done right next to me WITH POLISH!!! He's changing from red to hot pink! WTF?!$&?!?" She got 7 likes from other women and 9 comments including "Crossdresser... Freak!" None of the comments were positive.

This post really rattled me and has caused me to feel depressed and ashamed. Depressed that this is probably the way many women feel about us, and ashamed that I am not brave enough to come out and stand up for this "Freak". I have been struggling with this secret my whole life. I thought I was making progress and believe that I would like to transition. I had my nails done in Vegas back in October and there were other customer's present. Now I know what they were thinking.

[Jamie001]

Why don't you post on that page that there was a time that women didn't get tattoos. Now many women wear multiple tattoos. Also men didn't wear earrings in the 1950 and women didn't wear pants. It sounds like the folks that replied to the Facebook page are a bunch of fundie conservatives that could be from the South or cowboy country. It doesn't matter what other people think. I get my nails done every two weeks and proudly show my red toenails in my normal feminine male mode. I don't care what people think, but I do get a lot of compliments from women and I love it when they tell me I have toes like a girl. Believe it or not, men that wear earrings still get the same comments to this day - some negative and some positive. Folks are very polarized on their views. You can either be yourself and say screw them like the first guys that wore earrings or the first women that wore tattoos, or you can can conform to societies expectations for a male and go back to a drab existence. It is really your choice. If you worry about what people think, your are giving-up control of your life and allowing other folks to dictate how you live your life. That situation is not much better than prison.

You really should go back to that webpage and stand-up for the guy that was being dissed.

[bobadmire]

my girl friend is the one who started me in it

[Richelle423]

IMO no! I believe most women like a man that is masculine in all aspects of life. I did though had a GF 20 yrs ago who wanted to dress me up and have a wild time with me! My present GF does not agree with my lifestyle and only mildly tolerates it. I wear panties and womens jeans 24-7 and I always get " oh you're wearing girls underwesr and jeans again" Weird thing is that a few weeks back we were on vaction and shopping at Kohls at the clearance racks when I'm putting panties,sweatpants and jeans into the basket and she didnt say anything. Some of the panties she bought didn't fit she gave me! And I knew as a guy (girl) they wouldn't fit her! ..ooo more for me hahah. It was by far the most strange shopping trip we had so far,

[xdressed]

I've found that women are generally accepting and often just treat you like one of the girls. I've come out to a fair few friends now and all have been completely accepting, and the vast majority have been female. That doesn't mean all women will accept it but I think if your female friends are generally nice and open minded people then they are likely to be understanding

[Darla]

Yeah - some women will rank on crossdressing because its easy, it's safe and ...cowardly. Do you think she'd rank on a gay person? Probably not because they're out, about and proud. It's going to take a lot of guys in the chair next to her before she gets it. Regardless of gender there's lots of d**ks out there. Regardless of whether or not you have one.

I find younger women equally polarizing. Either totally cool or totally defensive of their bastion of "femininity". I think the difference comes down to whether they have those universal qualities of kindliness, empathy, self esteem, and sense of self awareness. Guess who ends up loving a better life?

[juliew]

Yep or at least my wife does.:devil:

[MysticLady]

Do women like men who crossdress?

Not the one I'm married to. :hmph:

.......................:heehee: mine doesn't either



I have the luxury of working in an environment where people bring up topics such as sexual preferences and such things all the time in conversation, and have yet to hear any positive responses from women about crossdressing, and I'm closing in on 40+ years of working in the same (primarily female employee) field.

Have you ever tried just lesbian clubs? Maybe there may be some women there that may be looking for a beauty w/ a beast. Just wondering since Ive never visited one.:heehee:



:hiding: Another thing I'd like to mention, at the risk of having every middle-aged GG on this board mad at me is that many single middle-aged women feel as if they are condemned to be alone for the rest of their lives:


I truly believe this since Ive seen it and have heard it said by women.

[heatherdress]

My wife enjoys that I crossdress.

She actually encouraged me to explore and discover that I liked to crossdress. She challenged me to buy my first purchase - a pair of heels. And she enjoyed that I enjoyed them. She is open minded, confident, strong - but most of all - wants me to be happy in the things that I do. She does not feel threatened. She participates, buys me clothes, does my makeup. CDing improved our intimacy. I am very fortunate.

[Vickie_CDTV]

:hiding: Another thing I'd like to mention, at the risk of having every middle-aged GG on this board mad at me is that many single middle-aged women feel as if they are condemned to be alone for the rest of their lives:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2011/jul/10/online-dating-middle-aged-women

So in certain situations a middle aged GG might not be initially put off by the crossdressing. If she is lonely and motivated to go out looking for partners, she might be willing to prioritize what is important (a loving mate) and not so important (how he chooses to dress occasionally). As to how many women might be willing to be in a relationship with a full-time TG, this I don't know.

As someone who dated a middle aged woman when they were young, I would agree with you Reine. I think as we age we tend lose our more superficial requirements for a mate, and that is really a good thing. The girl at 16 who was only interested in some big manly guy on the football team will have much different qualifications when she is 50 and lonely... a man who is a bit "soft" but is devoted and loyal and appreciative may still look attractive all things considered.

[Lucy_Bella]

Very rare... I did date a GG who did enjoy my desire's .. But she wasn't straight she was a lesbian and dating a lesbian is short lived for a straight dresser because we do not have the right equipment..I found out later that she to liked to express herself as male after I moved all of her stuff from my house..I found male boxers,cologne and breast wrap.. I moved her out because she had a one night stand with another woman..I don't know what hurt me the most! The one night stand or the lack of the invite !

[SandraV]

Don't know about other women, (and hopefully I won't be forced to go looking for one anytime soon), but I do know my wife does not like it at all. Working on her tolerating it.

[suchacutie]

In my limited experience, the amount of mis-information about crossdressing in the public at large is enormous. It may be different for the group in thier 20's, but for those in the 40+ age range, I've wondered just how much the negative stereotypes play against us? For example, if a straight women is looking for a straight man, and she thinks that all crossdressers dress to attract men sexually, one might see right away why there might be little or no initial interest!

How much is this lack of education playing into the negativity some women have toward a potential CDing mate?

[gender_blender]

Yes. Especially the hot ones. In my experience.

[xdressed]

We should all move to Japan, even some of their extreme metal bands go on stage in full make up, very girly hair and dresses etc (Distraught Overlord and Moi Dix Mois being the most obvious ones to me) and the girls love it out there.

[Greenie]

The cross-dressing and whole "femme identitiy" is new to us. So I am not sure if I "like" that yet. I am working on be accepting, but it is something that we are figuring out one step at a time. But I do like when my BF wears lacy panties during sex (occasionally if he wanted to do it all the time that would be another story lol) So I guess my final answer is MAYBE? lol

[Sometimes Steffi]

I personally know about a dozen couples, some married, some just dating. I also know a few wife and wife couples, or those soon to be. So, it can happen.

[Alison Felicia]

My wife enjoys that I crossdress.

She actually encouraged me to explore and discover that I liked to crossdress. She challenged me to buy my first purchase - a pair of heels. And she enjoyed that I enjoyed them. She is open minded, confident, strong - but most of all - wants me to be happy in the things that I do. She does not feel threatened. She participates, buys me clothes, does my makeup. CDing improved our intimacy. I am very fortunate.

I don't know that my wife "enjoys" my CDing, but she is incredibly supportive and understanding about it. She has bought me things and tries to make time for me to be able to dress because she knows if I don't get to do it for a while, it really affects my mood.

[Annaliese2010]

One question I do have though is this....Do women and , in particular , straight women actually like crossdressing... Some GG's do, though they tend to be bi, not straight. Girls in their 20's & 30's basically. Fewer, the older, more conservative & 'straight-laced'. IMHO anyways.

[Badtranny]

The answer is yes.

There are plenty of women who would like a fun guy who cross-dresses and is totally cool about it. There just aren't very many who want a closet case who acts like an ass, when he's not acting like a dandy.

If you enjoy cross-dressing then get out there and enjoy it. Don't meet a woman as your drab self (the one you hate to be remember?) and then HOPE she still likes you when you introduce her to 'Nancy'. Be proud of who you are, and you will find somebody who is attracted to who you are.

[BlairP]

so cool! that is what mos of us hope for.

[Lady Panda]

The simple answer is YES......

However, one of the main ingredients is that you are not a narcissistic Jerk. I know it sounds harsh but, if you are so wrapped up in your own needs and wants ...you won't find a successful relationship.

Being honest about yourself and what you want is another. You don't have to tell immediately but it should be before things get really serious.

Most women really want a man that is considerate of her needs too, that is honest, loving and somewhat adventurous. Not the typical BAD boy. I myself prefer a NICE guy that is typically geeky.

I totally love my CDing SO he is sooo amaazing. He is an amazing person who just so happens to CD. Being a good person is what gets you in the door. Being honest and considerate keeps you there.

If you want a GG that is accepting w CDing you would want to be fishing in the right pond. Don't go looking for an accepting mate in an ultra-strict religious environment. Pardon my expression but if you seek a woman in a bible thumping heavily religious environment.... chances are you won't find her. :sad:

Try searching in places where women are hairdressers, fashion, medical or artsy type environments or on the fringes of the LGBT community. These women are familiar with most everything...they have seen and heard most everything...not much shocks them. Plenty of Fish website is a meat market most people who go there are looking for fun on the run. If you get my drift.

I am totally supportive of my SO's CDing ...I even buy him all kinds of goodies (heels, bras, panties, nails, hose, garter belts, corsets, even a wig) I really enjoy when he dresses and we even have role play. The main thing is he is a really great person. We connect not only on an emotional level but also an intellectual level. We are 2 halves of the same whole.

In other words it is essential that the relationship part has to work before you throw into the mix of CDing. I found out that my SO CDs after we were together for a while. I kinda had a feeling that something was up then I talked to him about it and kinda shoved him out of the closet. I am happy for him because he can accept all of who he is. He is no longer in pain for not accepting that part of him.

Hopefully this was not to long winded or harsh ...if it was I am sorry ...hopefully I haven't bruised anyone’s feelings just trying to be helpful and honest.:hugs:

[steftoday]

Lady Panda, your SO is a very lucky soul. :)

[Sabrina133]

short answer is yes. There are GGs who enjoy CDing SOs. Mine is in that catagory. She enjoys and encourages me (not that i need much encouragement) to dress all the time. She is also bi (as am i) so our relationship is a pseudo lesbian one and that works well for both of us. We met when I was dressed so it wasnt something i sprung on her after we'd been together a while. She's also younger than me by a few years. I agree with Panda, if you are looking for a relationship with an understanding GG, dont go looking in conservative circles as you are unlikely to find one (although we might all be surprised). Also, i think you owe it to her to out yourself to her as soon as you deem it "safe". Again doing it after you've become intimate and then finding out that she doesnt like it/support it will only lead to heartache.

[harmony]

i am on a dating site where you can answer 100s of questions to complement your profile.guess what?i was going thru the list the other day and there it was:what do you think about male crossdressers.3 choices for answers you like them-you might tolerate them-no way!i wish there was a search feature to find the right ones!

[naye]

Well, as a gg who loves crossdressers and is not in a relationship with one, I can definitely say we’re out there. But even if I’d be thrilled if I met a perfect guy who turned out to be a crossdresser, I wouldn’t seek them out in particular. There are many other things that are more important to me in a relationship. I would never mention my interest unless it came up somehow, which it almost never does. So you really never know, maybe more women are interested than you'd think, though I imagine it's still a minority.

Hi Flent, your response is quite interesting to me, is great to see that out there are ladies who like the idea of a guy crossdressing from time to time, but I would love to know why is the reason why you will never mention the idea of crossdressing to a guy you are with? thanks :)

[heatherdress]

A lot of great responses and perspectives. There are no absolutes, many variables, different ranges of CD acceptance. Another part of this discussion, however, relates to the CDing behavior that we are asking a woman to like. MTF CDers on this site describe a broad range of range of CDing activities - from periodic pantyhose wearing to 24/7 100% feminine appearance/breasts/electrolysis/hair/fingernails/etc. How can a woman respond that she likes CDers when the range of activities or descriptions of CDing are so broad? Open-minded, adventurous, confident women might look for a kinky partner or someone into fetish wear or someone who appears to have softer, feminine dispositions, etc. Some women will like a man who is a CDer simply because they love their partner and want them to be happy. But if I really think about this question, if I were a woman and asked if I liked men who CDed, I don't think I could give an unqualified answer. Maybe a "maybe". All in all, a fun question and good comments. Thanks.

[Samantha Horne]

I started to express my CDing with an ex from 5 years ago. We had been together a couple of years at this point. There was never any real discussion between us. I simply slid into panties and a tight top during foreplay one evening. She was fully into the fact it created dynamic encounters for both of us. To ask her bluntly "Do you like men who CD?" her answer would be no. If the relationship is strong it will be a non-issue. My current girl has not yet been introduced. Of my 3 long-term relationships, only 1 touched the surface. It was wonderful for both of us. Pleasure and happiness.